Embracing God's Design: The Gift of Sex in Marriage

"Well, every year in the U.S., over 360,000 home fires are reported. So we're thankful that we have guys in our midst who've been involved in the fire departments and helping take care of those things. But when they come up, we have sadly learned that with those 360,000 home fires, often comes somewhere in the ballpark of 3,000 casualties and over 11,000 different injuries. And you're thinking to yourself right now, what a way to start a sermon, right? That is not exactly a feel-good statistic. That's kind of a downer because we're recognizing that fire can be an incredibly dangerous and destructive thing. When it is unleashed in places where it should not be, it normally does not do good stuff." [00:00:00] (49 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"But what Paul did in first Corinthians six to say, and it's not just that, but sexual immorality denies our relationship with Christ. There's, there's something fundamentally different about who we are in Christ and it impacts that area of our lives. And so living outside of God's design is denying something of who we are in him." [00:03:11] (24 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"And so we see at the beginning of chapter 7, Paul says, and now concerning the manners about which you wrote. All right, so we're remembering that he's dealing with a church and there are issues going on in this church. They've got a lot of dysfunctions. We've dealt with some of those things. And now Paul's saying, now let's address some of your questions. And so maybe it's reassuring to us that a church that existed, a couple thousand years ago, was asking some similar questions that the church needs to be asking or is asking even today. And so the question that they had to Paul was, is it good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman?" [00:04:01] (39 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"And Paul's like, man, you guys have hit the two extremes on this conversation. When it comes to this issue, some are saying we have a freedom in Christ because of his forgiveness, because of the salvation we have, we can use that to, we have a freedom to engage in sexual activity with anybody. And Paul's saying that is a bad extreme to adopt. And so he talked in chapter 6 saying, hey, the stomach is for food, and food is the stomach, yeah, but your body is not made for sexual immorality. So this is an extreme we shouldn't go towards. Meanwhile, these other people in the church are saying, maybe the godly thing is to deny physical desires." [00:05:10] (43 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"And they were buying into this thing called asceticism. And if you're familiar with asceticism, it's basically the denial of human desires. And so it would expand to all things. We are not to enjoy the things of this world. And so the pious or the super spiritual would say, oh, we're going to do this. We're going to deny that. We're going to turn our nose up to it. And we're not going to engage in sexual activity at all. And Paul's like, well, that's another extreme that's gone too far. So you've got this church operating on these polars that are totally opposite of each other. And Paul's saying we need to stop and have a bit of a conversation. And we need to be honest about this conversation." [00:05:53] (38 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am, but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried, and the widows, I say that it's good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it's better to marry than to burn with passion." [00:07:53] (41 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"He's speaking to this issue, right? And if you're tracking with what Paul's saying, he's bringing the landing spot somewhere in between these polarizing viewpoints on sex. It's not freedom to go ahead and do whatever you want, and it's not abstaining entirely, especially even if you're in a marriage, right? And so he's saying we've got to land in a healthy place. Now, C.S. Lewis, in his book, Mere Christianity, he's making the argument in his book that when God has put a desire in us, something that this world cannot satisfy, perhaps it's an evidence that there's something outside of this world that we long for, right? And in making his point, he says that creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists." [00:08:35] (45 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"And so we think of authority over our own bodies as something that just we get to do. And Paul's saying, no, husbands, you love your wife as your own body, which means you cherish her, you love her, you nourish her. It is not a greed, but a generosity. That is the oneness that Paul is speaking to in a marriage. That's how God designed it to be. The problem is there are not many marriages that function like that today. Sadly, even within the church. There is a cycle of dysfunction that often happens. A cycle. We'll call it a deprivation, and let me explain what it is." [00:23:19] (47 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"God has created marriage to be something so incredibly good. He has created sex to be enjoyed within marriage. So break the cycle and discover the goodness of what God has designed marriage to be. Break the cycle. Stop it. We are not called to greed and selfishness in our marriages. If that is going to be the way you live out your marriage, and even for the younger people in the room, when you get married someday, if that's your attitude towards marriage, you are going to live in a dysfunctional and dissatisfied marriage. I guarantee it, because that's the way God called it to be." [00:25:29] (40 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"So, the concession that Paul gives, don't deprive one another. Literally, he's saying that the wording there is, don't rob your spouse of what is rightfully theirs. The only concession, is if it's done by agreement and for a short time. He says. And the agreement should be that you're using that time to seek the Lord together. But then you'll see right there in verse 5, but come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Third good. That sex in your marriage promotes purity." [00:27:06] (45 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)


"He's saying like there is a protection, like in a haven where there's protection from something else, there's a protection from sexual immorality, a protection from the temptations when you engage with this inside of your marriage. He says that sex in your marriage should be the habit. It should be happening. You should be actively doing it. You should be engaged in this because it's a good thing. That's what creates a healthy marriage. It's part of a healthy marriage." [00:29:32] (27 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)