Embracing Freedom: Overcoming Shame Through Jesus' Love

"Welcome so bring your your worst story today and you will be free um this is what we calling our family the cone of shame you may be familiar with something like this particularly if you have a dog one of our dogs quite recently had to go through a procedure that meant that they had to wear the cone of shame and it's funny with this dog it's magnificent animal and normally uh carries himself with an appropriate kind of Pride and aliveness and vitality and eagerness for life but not with the cone of shame when this dog is wearing the cone of shame he will go sit in the corner he will put himself in a Timeout he looks like nobody's going to like me it's a miserable thing to wear a cone of shame and you need to know this about Jesus he is all good he is the only sinless person who ever existed but he does not want you to live in a cone of shame a lot of people don't understand this about God so I want to walk through Freedom From The Cone today for you take a deep breath sit up straight Let It Go and we're going to walk a bit more through the story of Mary who is the sister of Martha and of Lazarus in John chap 11 we're going to see Mary continually ending up at the feet of Jesus that's where um release from shame comes and being protected by Jesus uh John chap 11 we're told there was a man named Lazarus who was sick he was from Bethany the village of Mary and her sister Martha and then in verse two this Mary whose brother Lazarus now lay sick was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair now she's actually going to do that in chapter 12 but it appears to be the case from here that John wants us to know that this has already happened in Mary's life and I'm indeed Elanor stump or book wandering in darkness for this treatment in Luke chapter 7 we're told another story there are several in the gospels about a woman uh who wiped Jesus feet with her hair and her name is not listed there but it's altogether possible that it was Mary um it seems to be the case from the way that John puts this here that it was her I want to uh interpret this story along those lines uh we don't know for sure but it will help us understand understand something about how shame gets healed either way in Luke 7 Jesus is the guest of honor at a dinner from a religious leader a man named Simon and a woman comes and we're just told that she had led a sinful life and uh the idea there is she would be a shamed person she had a bad story so she would not be welcomed there except that Jesus is there and somehow she knows that he will accept her this Rabbi and so she comes and uh she brings uh perfume and anoints his feet and and bathes his feet with her tears and wipes his feet with her hair and Simon thinks well if Jesus was really righteous if he knew who this woman was then he would shame her like she ought to be shamed Jesus says no and tells him a few stories and while this woman is doing this he says to Simon you know uh you didn't wash my feet but she is bathing them with her tears and uh wiping them with her hair and and you didn't give me a kiss of greeting but she is kissing my feet I imagine him saying to her you know you can stop now and he says you know you didn't give me any kind of a oil to anoint but she has brought this expensive perfume and then he turns to the woman and speaks to her and says your sins are forgiven and then because she probably doesn't have an ex strategy he says now go in peace uh your faith has saved you and he honors her the guest of honor Jesus honors the woman above Simon he says that this woman is the one who loved much and so it appears to be the case that that's the beginning of Jesus relationship with Mary he delivers her from shame the next time we see her is in Luke chapter 10 Jesus comes to their home and Martha is serving but we're told Mary is sitting at jesus' feet so once more she is at his feet like she was in Luke 7 wiping them with her hair and K Martha tries to kind of kitchen shame Mary Lord Lord um tell my sister to help me because I'm busy and and she's just sitting there and Jesus once more honors and protects Mary as a disciple no you're busy and distracted with many thing Mary has chosen what is best and it will not be taken from her so now she's a learner and then in chapter 11 Lazarus is sick and Mary and Martha send a message to Jesus uh the one that you love is sick only he doesn't come for two days but what's even worse he doesn't tell Mary and Martha what he's up to so they have to live with the idea that they didn't matter enough of Jesus for him to come now Martha just blames Jesus she goes directly out to him Lord if you'd been here my brother would not have died and they have a uh quite vigorous conversation John lets us know Mary doesn't do this um Mary does not go out to see Jesus Mary stayed home why does she do this the text doesn't say but we might imagine it could well be the case when you're a person who lives with shame you feel like you are not worthy of being cared for ellar stump writes about the difference between shame and guilt sometimes people will say you feel guilty because of what you've done you feel shamed because of what you are but she says that doesn't quite get at it because it's possible for us to feel quite ashamed of the things that we have done she notes that this comes from Thomas aquinus love has two Dynamics in it love always Wills the good for another person I want you to flourish but not just that love also desires to be connected I want to be with you I desire a kind of Union with you if I just say well I want the good for you but I don't ever want to be around you you don't feel loved and so uh this tells us something about guilt when I have done something wrong I'm afraid that you won't will my good and I'm afraid that you're going to try to harm me and so guilt needs to be healed by forgiveness but when I experience shame I'm afraid there's something about me that causes you to not want to be connected with me to not want to be in Union with me and therefore what I fear is rejection she points out that shame always has a kind of connection to ugliness I feel unwanted undesirable like I Merit not having you want me to be around it's interesting that we will often talk about body shaming and it may well be the case that Martha goes out to give Jesus a piece of her Sanctified mind uh but Mary doesn't because now she's crushed and she thinks oh who I was the life that I've LED is such that of course why would I matter to him why would he come when I ask him to and she doesn't come to see him and and and but then Martha comes and says uh Mary the master is calling for you now actually the text never says that Jesus called for her so elanar says she thinks that Martha just made it up Martha's you know always trying to arrange things and now she wants to arrange for Mary to go see Jesus so Mary goes out to Jesus when she sees him she falls at his feet this time not in learning this time not in devotion this time in just despair and when Jesus sees this um three times we're told when he sees her he is deeply troubled in spirit uses a very strong word the Greek word taso let not your hearts be troubled when a horse was snorting uh uh that's a verb that they would use and then Jesus weeps and the people say couldn't Jesus have saved them and when he sees the sorrow over this course of action once more he's deeply troubled and then he causes Lazarus to be raised brings him back his life and this story is not just about Lazarus it's deeply about Martha and it's deeply about Mary now Mary knows when Lazarus has been uh brought back to life by Jesus that she mattered to Jesus all the time more than she had any idea that Jesus can be trusted more than she had any idea that Jesus is powerful not only over illness but also over death Mary now has a connection with Jesus a union with Jesus an understanding of who he is and a faith in him she would not have had if she had not gone through that pain we might think of her experience with Jesus like this that there's that enormous pain of a sinful life I'm bad but then she finds out no Jesus the worse your story the warmer you're welcome and so she experiences Acceptance in Luke 7 and and then in Luke 10 she's his learner she's his disciple and then John 11 uh this horrible sense of Abandonment and all of us abandonment all of us know what it's like to be there in between when Lazarus is sick but he hasn't been resurrected yet um but then he is resurrected and then she knows and then she sees and then she realizes how much she's treasured by Jesus so then we come to John 12 that's in the next chapter 6 days before the Passover this is right before Jesus is going to die he came to Bethany where Lazarus lived whom Jesus had raised from the dead here a dinner was given in Jesus honor Martha served this time Martha is not complaining about serving she's just serving as what she does Lazarus is there Mary takes a pint of pinard and expensive perfume she poured it on jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair and the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume and now we understand the richness and fullness and depth of what's going on things have come full circle circle and Mary once more is at jesus' feet just like she was at the very beginning only this time she knows how deeply he Treasures her and how much she Treasures him and she is doing something that will be remembered forever right before the end of his life and one more time somebody tries to shame her Judas actually says this way too much money being thrown away on this it could have been um sold and given to the poor now Jesus doesn't care about the poor he was actually stealing money from the treasury he just wants to shame this woman maybe because he knows something about her background and one more time Jesus comes to her Aid the worse your story the warmer you're welcome leave her alone Jesus says it was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial it was intended that that's the kind of language that's used to refer to something where actually God is deeply involved in it God has been at work in her life Jesus honors her one more time so now today whatever the cone of shame is and I know what it feels like to wear one of these and to feel like people are thinking bad things or saying bad things or there is something uh who I am what I have done my failures my inadequacy and I know they're deep they're painful um uh not because they're not true but because they are and then to be invited to have Jesus come and say I know I know I know I know the bad things that people think about you whether or not they're true and I know the bad things about you that are true but the worse your story the warmer you're welcome you come on home now I'll protect you I will honor you I love you I welcome you to me so today take off the cone of Shane deep breath Stand Tall Embrace Life you are deeply loved and somewhere along the line today take out some perfume do something extravagant do something generous to honor God and bless somebody else and fill the house with it stretch out your hand hey thanks for joining us my name is Tim and I'm a part of the team here at become new be sure to subscribe so you don't miss any future videos from John and you might like to know that John has hundreds more videos just like this one at our website becom new.com you can go to the library there and browse and find something that might speak to you right now you can also sign up for the email that goes along with each video there or to receive a text alert whenever a new video is released we wanted to let you know too that John's releasing a new book this February titled steps and we're really excited about it you can pre-order that book at Amazon if you're interested or if you want to just find out more information you can do that at becom new.com steps if you've got a prayer request there's a group of us that meet each weekday Monday through Friday to pray for viewers just like yourself you can send us that text request at 855 888 0444 or at our email connectcom new.com thanks for joining us we'll see you next time [00:00:27]