Embracing Forgiveness: A Journey of Grace and Humility

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forgiven we are hurting people and we live in a hurting world and that's natural but forgiveness is Supernatural and we're on that journey I am learning you are I hope I invite are working on not just learning about forgiveness but actually practicing it and we're using a model from man named EV Worthington uh it uses the acronym reach recall the hurt but do it in a different way and we're going to focus on that a bit more today and then empathy offer empy empathy to the person that hurts you even though it's hard to do that and then the A is for altruism make forgiveness an altruistic gift not something you just do for yourself we'll talk more about that and then C actually commit to the decision to forgive someone and then H hold on to it when it's hard to hold on [00:28:56]

do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult that's generally what folks did in the ancient world that's mostly what we do we'll talk about that more later on that's not today but in the future uh it's the law of reciprocity lots of stuff to cover here you want to be a part of each one of these uh on the contrary repay evil with blessing because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing and what I want you to notice here is that Peter connects humility with the ability to repay evil with blessing to be able to forgive to be able to love your enemy and there's a reason why Peter makes this connection we'll talk about that in his life in a couple of moments but the idea today is to look back and recall to remember only in a different way [00:90:96]

Redemptive memory magic eyes to look back and in God invite God to be a part of your memory uh look back and remember not a way that just rehearses my victimhood or if you're working on receiving forgiveness and I know i' heard from lots of folks how do I forgive myself in receiving forgiveness look back on it and don't just look at myself as a villain invite God to be a part of my recalling my memory so the invitation today to cultivate a sense of humility is I want you to think about a time in your life when you did something wrong when you were guilty and you experienced the gift of forgiveness and think about the warmth and the gratitude that this produced inside you the sense that I am free so that you can want to recall the hurts that you've received differently and be motivated to want to give this gift of forgiveness to somebody else [00:137:48]

when a colleague and I were invited to be part of a former students installation service we agreed enthusiastically traveled together into his town Joe had many family members come to the service so we were surprised when he told us we were all going to eat out that evening I wondered how all 19 of us were going to get in and out of a restaurant in time for church I I suggested my colleague and I go ahead to the restaurant put our name in the waiting list the restaurant was packed I wiggled through the crowd to the front of the line and found an Amish man I was just in Lancaster County where this took place a month or so ago and uh Amish and many night folks all over the place there found an Amish man standing behind an old Pulpit next to him was a handcarved sign please do not give your name until everyone in your party is present have any idea where this story is headed [00:220:64]

I understood the reasons for this policy but I also knew it would take a long time for a table of 19 to be ready I said yes the name is Graves party of 19 the Amish man with his beard and hat looked at me and said and is your whole party present haltingly I said yeah Okay I lied but it wasn't as if I was trying to beat the system after all even the smaller parties were waiting 30 minutes so we'd be putting in our waiting time too now no big deal but my colleague disagreed you lied to the Amish he said you shouldn't lie to the Amish like you know Baptist and Methodist yeah it's okay Pentecostals no problem but not the homish dude by the time they call our name I said Joe and his family will be here two minutes later came the announcement Graves party of 19 [00:273:60]

I went back to the Amish man and said yeah the graves party well uh not all here yet I was nervous now may have giggled a little the man looked me in the eyes and asked did you lie this was a restaurant this was the lobby of a restaurant Dead Silence it was as if we were in church the people immediately around us waited wide-eyed and wandering everybody's watching him and the Amish guy I replied softly yes I lied this is a guy who teaches preaching come with me he said I could not imagine what he was going to do what kind of punishment do the Amish hand out to Liars I pictured stocks or caning we followed him through the restaurant to the back where he opened the door to a banquet room a huge table was set with bread and Jams he offered a gentle smile have some bread you are forgiven [00:327:40]

now that's the beauty and the power of what it is to know that you are guilty and that there is that kind of heavy weight of wrongdoing and shame attached and then to be told have some bread you are forgiven so I want you to think back what's the time when you experience forgiveness it's easy to be judgmental and Superior towards the people who have hurt me when I'm just thinking about the wrong that they have done this is part of why this whole journey of forgiveness is so important you can't pursue it without seeking God's help to become the person that I'm supposed to be that I can on my own and humility is a part of that but what I remember when I did something wrong and I was expecting punishment and then I experienced forgiveness [00:389:08]

I was remembering once when I was in sixth grade and I was at school and uh I carved my initials to a wooden desk so it was not a real bright crime I mean it's one thing to carve something into a desk but when it's your own ini and your own desk this is not five beta Capal material and of course I got caught and I felt oh man when my dad finds out I'm going to be in so much trouble and then I waited till my father got home and he was so gentle and he was so understanding even though I couldn't come up with a good explanation why and it felt so good to not be in the kind of trouble or experience the kind of Darkness that I thought I was going to experience and I thought of so many other times things that run much deeper than that times when I can remember having cheated and I look back on it now and I still feel the hot shame of that in other times [00:435:44]

and there's something very very helpful not in being kind of beating myself up over what I've done wrong but remember I am too somebody who stands in desperate need of being forgiven and so I don't want to stand as a superior over somebody else in judgment over somebody else because then what about when my turn my need for forgiveness comes I mentioned at the beginning the Apostle Peter who makes this connection between humility and being forgiving towards other people and it made me think about a primary time in his life when he experienced this you might remember one of his worst faults greatest guilt is when he denied Jesus three times and we're told in John chapter 18 that when that happened it was cold and dark and he was warming himself it's interesting John has his little detail in front of a charcoal fire and he denies Jesus not once but three times [00:490:12]

and then as you might remember at the end of the Gospel of John John chapter 21 Peter comes in from fishing he jumps out of the boat because he recognizes Jesus on the shore and Jesus is cooking breakfast my wife says the main thing that people should take from that is Jesus was a man and Jesus cooked and he made fish but he also made bread but John has this little detail um he makes it over a charcoal fire and then as or after they have breakfast he pulls Peter aside and just like Peter denied him three times Jesus asks him three times Peter do you love me Peter do you love me Peter do you love me he is deliberately inviting causing Peter to go back and remember that three-fold Rhythm only now to remember remember it redemptively and he's doing it over a charcoal fire [00:557:04]

John says Jesus is cooking and he uses the same little word you know old factory the power of smell is said to be the most emotionally powerful Peter is smelling that same smell that he smelled when he denied his Lord three times only now he is affirming his love for him three times it is Redemptive remembering this time he's inviting Jesus back into it this time um the very person that he loves so much that he denied that he hurt is reaffirming his love is reinstating him to the mission and so Peter took that be loving and compassionate be humble don't repay evil for evil he knows what it's like to be on the receiving end so today the invitation for you is to remember what's something that you did wrong where you have experienced forgiveness and if you're struggling with something that you've done wrong where it's hard to believe that you have been forgiven um spend some time with Jesus around that in front of the charcoal fire [00:609:68]

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