Embracing Forgiveness: A Journey of Grace and Humility

 

Summary

In our journey through life, we often encounter hurt and pain, both from others and within ourselves. While these experiences are natural, forgiveness is a supernatural act that requires intentional practice. Today, we explore the concept of forgiveness using the REACH model by E.V. Worthington, which stands for Recall, Empathy, Altruism, Commitment, and Hold. This model guides us to recall the hurt in a redemptive way, offer empathy to those who have wronged us, give forgiveness as an altruistic gift, commit to the decision to forgive, and hold onto that decision even when it becomes difficult.

The Apostle Peter, in his first letter, emphasizes the importance of humility in the process of forgiveness. He encourages us to repay evil with blessing, connecting humility with the ability to forgive and love our enemies. This connection is evident in Peter's own life, particularly in his denial of Jesus and the subsequent redemptive encounter with Him. Jesus invites Peter to remember his denial, not to dwell in guilt, but to experience forgiveness and restoration.

We are invited to recall our own experiences of forgiveness, to remember the warmth and gratitude that come with being forgiven. This memory can motivate us to extend the same grace to others. The story of Mike Green illustrates this beautifully, as he experienced unexpected forgiveness from an Amish man after lying about his party's presence at a restaurant. This act of grace serves as a powerful reminder of the freedom and relief that forgiveness brings.

As we reflect on our own need for forgiveness, we are reminded not to stand in judgment over others. Instead, we should cultivate humility, recognizing our own shortcomings and the grace we have received. By involving God in our memories, we can transform them into redemptive experiences, allowing us to forgive ourselves and others more fully.

Key Takeaways:

1. Forgiveness as a Supernatural Journey: Forgiveness is not just a concept to learn but a practice to embody. It requires us to recall past hurts in a redemptive way, inviting God into our memories to transform them. This process helps us move beyond victimhood and embrace a path of healing and grace. [02:17]

2. Humility and Forgiveness: Humility is essential in the journey of forgiveness. By recalling our own experiences of being forgiven, we cultivate a sense of humility that enables us to extend grace to others. This humility helps us avoid judgment and embrace compassion. [02:57]

3. Redemptive Memory: Like Peter's encounter with Jesus, we are invited to remember our past mistakes in a redemptive way. By involving Jesus in our memories, we can transform guilt into grace and experience the freedom of forgiveness. [09:58]

4. The Power of Empathy: Offering empathy to those who have hurt us is challenging but crucial. By understanding their perspective, we can move towards forgiveness and healing, recognizing that we too are in need of grace. [00:52]

5. Commitment to Forgiveness: Forgiveness is a decision that requires commitment. Even when it's difficult, holding onto this decision allows us to experience the transformative power of grace and live out our calling to love and bless others. [01:05]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:40] - Introduction to Forgiveness
- [00:52] - The REACH Model
- [01:17] - Peter's Call to Humility
- [02:03] - Repaying Evil with Blessing
- [02:17] - Redemptive Memory
- [02:57] - Cultivating Humility
- [03:24] - Mike Green's Story
- [04:10] - The Amish Encounter
- [05:37] - The Power of Forgiveness
- [06:41] - Personal Reflection on Forgiveness
- [08:33] - Peter's Denial and Redemption
- [09:58] - Redemptive Remembering
- [10:48] - Invitation to Reflect
- [11:31] - Conclusion and Encouragement

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: The Journey of Forgiveness

Bible Reading:
1. 1 Peter 3:8-9 - "Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."
2. John 21:15-17 - The reinstatement of Peter by Jesus after his denial.

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Observation Questions:

1. What does the Apostle Peter emphasize as essential qualities in 1 Peter 3:8-9, and how do these relate to the act of forgiveness? [01:17]

2. In the story of Peter's denial and subsequent encounter with Jesus, what specific actions does Jesus take to restore Peter? [09:44]

3. How does the story of Mike Green and the Amish man illustrate the concept of forgiveness as discussed in the sermon? [06:26]

4. What is the significance of the charcoal fire in both Peter's denial and his restoration? [09:58]

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Interpretation Questions:

1. How does Peter's instruction to "repay evil with blessing" challenge common responses to being wronged, and what might this look like in practical terms? [01:34]

2. In what ways does recalling past mistakes in a redemptive way, as Jesus did with Peter, transform one's understanding of forgiveness? [09:58]

3. How does the REACH model of forgiveness (Recall, Empathy, Altruism, Commitment, Hold) provide a structured approach to forgiving others? [00:52]

4. What role does humility play in the process of forgiveness, and why is it crucial according to the sermon? [02:03]

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on a time when you were forgiven for something significant. How did that experience shape your understanding of grace, and how can it motivate you to forgive others? [02:57]

2. Consider someone who has wronged you. How can you apply the REACH model to begin the process of forgiveness with them? [00:52]

3. In what ways can you cultivate humility in your life to better enable forgiveness, especially towards those who have hurt you? [02:03]

4. How can you involve God in your memories of past hurts to transform them into redemptive experiences? What practical steps can you take to invite God into this process? [02:17]

5. Think about a situation where you might be tempted to repay evil with evil. How can you consciously choose to respond with blessing instead? [01:34]

6. Identify a person or situation where you struggle to offer empathy. What specific actions can you take to better understand their perspective and move towards forgiveness? [00:52]

7. How can you remind yourself of the commitment to forgive, especially when it becomes difficult? Consider practical ways to reinforce this decision in your daily life. [01:05]

Devotional

Day 1: Forgiveness as a Transformative Practice
Forgiveness is not merely a concept to be understood but a practice to be embodied. It involves recalling past hurts in a redemptive way, inviting God into our memories to transform them. This process helps us move beyond victimhood and embrace a path of healing and grace. By intentionally practicing forgiveness, we open ourselves to the supernatural work of grace in our lives. This journey requires us to actively engage with our past, allowing God to reshape our memories and experiences. As we do so, we find ourselves moving from a place of pain to a place of peace, where forgiveness becomes a natural outflow of our transformed hearts. [02:17]

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32, ESV)

Reflection: Think of a past hurt that still affects you today. How can you invite God into that memory to begin the process of transformation and healing?


Day 2: Humility as the Foundation of Forgiveness
Humility is essential in the journey of forgiveness. By recalling our own experiences of being forgiven, we cultivate a sense of humility that enables us to extend grace to others. This humility helps us avoid judgment and embrace compassion, recognizing that we too are in need of grace. The Apostle Peter's life exemplifies this connection between humility and forgiveness, as he learned to repay evil with blessing. By embracing humility, we open ourselves to the transformative power of forgiveness, allowing us to love and bless even those who have wronged us. [02:57]

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4, ESV)

Reflection: Recall a time when you were forgiven by someone. How did that experience shape your understanding of humility and grace? How can you extend that same grace to someone else today?


Day 3: Redemptive Memory and the Freedom of Forgiveness
Like Peter's encounter with Jesus, we are invited to remember our past mistakes in a redemptive way. By involving Jesus in our memories, we can transform guilt into grace and experience the freedom of forgiveness. This process allows us to move beyond the weight of our past and embrace the new life that forgiveness offers. As we reflect on our own need for forgiveness, we are reminded not to stand in judgment over others but to cultivate humility and compassion. By allowing God to redeem our memories, we can forgive ourselves and others more fully, experiencing the true freedom that comes with forgiveness. [09:58]

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." (Isaiah 43:18-19, ESV)

Reflection: Think of a past mistake that still brings you guilt. How can you invite Jesus into that memory to transform it into an experience of grace and redemption?


Day 4: The Power of Empathy in Forgiveness
Offering empathy to those who have hurt us is challenging but crucial. By understanding their perspective, we can move towards forgiveness and healing, recognizing that we too are in need of grace. Empathy allows us to see beyond our own pain and consider the humanity of those who have wronged us. This shift in perspective opens the door to forgiveness, as we acknowledge that everyone is on a journey and in need of compassion. By practicing empathy, we align ourselves with the heart of God, who extends grace and understanding to all. [00:52]

"Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing." (1 Peter 3:8-9, ESV)

Reflection: Think of someone who has hurt you. How can you practice empathy towards them today, seeking to understand their perspective and extending grace?


Day 5: Commitment to the Journey of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a decision that requires commitment. Even when it's difficult, holding onto this decision allows us to experience the transformative power of grace and live out our calling to love and bless others. This commitment involves a daily choice to forgive, even when feelings of hurt resurface. By choosing forgiveness, we align ourselves with God's heart and open ourselves to the healing and freedom that forgiveness brings. As we commit to this journey, we become conduits of God's grace, extending love and blessing to those around us. [01:05]

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." (Colossians 3:12-13, ESV)

Reflection: Consider a relationship where forgiveness is needed. What steps can you take today to commit to the journey of forgiveness, even when it feels challenging?

Quotes


forgiven we are hurting people and we live in a hurting world and that's natural but forgiveness is Supernatural and we're on that journey I am learning you are I hope I invite are working on not just learning about forgiveness but actually practicing it and we're using a model from man named EV Worthington uh it uses the acronym reach recall the hurt but do it in a different way and we're going to focus on that a bit more today and then empathy offer empy empathy to the person that hurts you even though it's hard to do that and then the A is for altruism make forgiveness an altruistic gift not something you just do for yourself we'll talk more about that and then C actually commit to the decision to forgive someone and then H hold on to it when it's hard to hold on [00:28:56]

do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult that's generally what folks did in the ancient world that's mostly what we do we'll talk about that more later on that's not today but in the future uh it's the law of reciprocity lots of stuff to cover here you want to be a part of each one of these uh on the contrary repay evil with blessing because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing and what I want you to notice here is that Peter connects humility with the ability to repay evil with blessing to be able to forgive to be able to love your enemy and there's a reason why Peter makes this connection we'll talk about that in his life in a couple of moments but the idea today is to look back and recall to remember only in a different way [00:90:96]

Redemptive memory magic eyes to look back and in God invite God to be a part of your memory uh look back and remember not a way that just rehearses my victimhood or if you're working on receiving forgiveness and I know i' heard from lots of folks how do I forgive myself in receiving forgiveness look back on it and don't just look at myself as a villain invite God to be a part of my recalling my memory so the invitation today to cultivate a sense of humility is I want you to think about a time in your life when you did something wrong when you were guilty and you experienced the gift of forgiveness and think about the warmth and the gratitude that this produced inside you the sense that I am free so that you can want to recall the hurts that you've received differently and be motivated to want to give this gift of forgiveness to somebody else [00:137:48]

when a colleague and I were invited to be part of a former students installation service we agreed enthusiastically traveled together into his town Joe had many family members come to the service so we were surprised when he told us we were all going to eat out that evening I wondered how all 19 of us were going to get in and out of a restaurant in time for church I I suggested my colleague and I go ahead to the restaurant put our name in the waiting list the restaurant was packed I wiggled through the crowd to the front of the line and found an Amish man I was just in Lancaster County where this took place a month or so ago and uh Amish and many night folks all over the place there found an Amish man standing behind an old Pulpit next to him was a handcarved sign please do not give your name until everyone in your party is present have any idea where this story is headed [00:220:64]

I understood the reasons for this policy but I also knew it would take a long time for a table of 19 to be ready I said yes the name is Graves party of 19 the Amish man with his beard and hat looked at me and said and is your whole party present haltingly I said yeah Okay I lied but it wasn't as if I was trying to beat the system after all even the smaller parties were waiting 30 minutes so we'd be putting in our waiting time too now no big deal but my colleague disagreed you lied to the Amish he said you shouldn't lie to the Amish like you know Baptist and Methodist yeah it's okay Pentecostals no problem but not the homish dude by the time they call our name I said Joe and his family will be here two minutes later came the announcement Graves party of 19 [00:273:60]

I went back to the Amish man and said yeah the graves party well uh not all here yet I was nervous now may have giggled a little the man looked me in the eyes and asked did you lie this was a restaurant this was the lobby of a restaurant Dead Silence it was as if we were in church the people immediately around us waited wide-eyed and wandering everybody's watching him and the Amish guy I replied softly yes I lied this is a guy who teaches preaching come with me he said I could not imagine what he was going to do what kind of punishment do the Amish hand out to Liars I pictured stocks or caning we followed him through the restaurant to the back where he opened the door to a banquet room a huge table was set with bread and Jams he offered a gentle smile have some bread you are forgiven [00:327:40]

now that's the beauty and the power of what it is to know that you are guilty and that there is that kind of heavy weight of wrongdoing and shame attached and then to be told have some bread you are forgiven so I want you to think back what's the time when you experience forgiveness it's easy to be judgmental and Superior towards the people who have hurt me when I'm just thinking about the wrong that they have done this is part of why this whole journey of forgiveness is so important you can't pursue it without seeking God's help to become the person that I'm supposed to be that I can on my own and humility is a part of that but what I remember when I did something wrong and I was expecting punishment and then I experienced forgiveness [00:389:08]

I was remembering once when I was in sixth grade and I was at school and uh I carved my initials to a wooden desk so it was not a real bright crime I mean it's one thing to carve something into a desk but when it's your own ini and your own desk this is not five beta Capal material and of course I got caught and I felt oh man when my dad finds out I'm going to be in so much trouble and then I waited till my father got home and he was so gentle and he was so understanding even though I couldn't come up with a good explanation why and it felt so good to not be in the kind of trouble or experience the kind of Darkness that I thought I was going to experience and I thought of so many other times things that run much deeper than that times when I can remember having cheated and I look back on it now and I still feel the hot shame of that in other times [00:435:44]

and there's something very very helpful not in being kind of beating myself up over what I've done wrong but remember I am too somebody who stands in desperate need of being forgiven and so I don't want to stand as a superior over somebody else in judgment over somebody else because then what about when my turn my need for forgiveness comes I mentioned at the beginning the Apostle Peter who makes this connection between humility and being forgiving towards other people and it made me think about a primary time in his life when he experienced this you might remember one of his worst faults greatest guilt is when he denied Jesus three times and we're told in John chapter 18 that when that happened it was cold and dark and he was warming himself it's interesting John has his little detail in front of a charcoal fire and he denies Jesus not once but three times [00:490:12]

and then as you might remember at the end of the Gospel of John John chapter 21 Peter comes in from fishing he jumps out of the boat because he recognizes Jesus on the shore and Jesus is cooking breakfast my wife says the main thing that people should take from that is Jesus was a man and Jesus cooked and he made fish but he also made bread but John has this little detail um he makes it over a charcoal fire and then as or after they have breakfast he pulls Peter aside and just like Peter denied him three times Jesus asks him three times Peter do you love me Peter do you love me Peter do you love me he is deliberately inviting causing Peter to go back and remember that three-fold Rhythm only now to remember remember it redemptively and he's doing it over a charcoal fire [00:557:04]

John says Jesus is cooking and he uses the same little word you know old factory the power of smell is said to be the most emotionally powerful Peter is smelling that same smell that he smelled when he denied his Lord three times only now he is affirming his love for him three times it is Redemptive remembering this time he's inviting Jesus back into it this time um the very person that he loves so much that he denied that he hurt is reaffirming his love is reinstating him to the mission and so Peter took that be loving and compassionate be humble don't repay evil for evil he knows what it's like to be on the receiving end so today the invitation for you is to remember what's something that you did wrong where you have experienced forgiveness and if you're struggling with something that you've done wrong where it's hard to believe that you have been forgiven um spend some time with Jesus around that in front of the charcoal fire [00:609:68]

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Transcript
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