Embracing Fear: The Path to Radical Acceptance

 

Summary

In our journey toward Advent, we are called to embrace a posture of radical acceptance, mirroring the radical acceptance God extends to us. This acceptance is not just about others but also about our own fears and unwanted thoughts. The Advent season, rich with the command "fear not," invites us to confront our fears with openness rather than avoidance. The angelic messages to Zechariah, Joseph, Mary, and the shepherds all emphasize this command, highlighting its significance in the narrative of Jesus' coming.

However, the challenge lies in how we respond to fear. Attempting to suppress fear or unwanted thoughts often backfires, leading to increased anxiety. This phenomenon, known as experiential avoidance, is akin to trying not to think of a yellow jeep; the more we try to suppress it, the more it persists. This principle applies to emotions and behaviors as well. When we try to control our inner experiences, our lives become constricted, and we cut ourselves off from the fullness of life and God's presence.

The key is not to avoid fear but to be willing to experience it. This willingness is a form of surrender, a practice of opening ourselves to God rather than trying to control our minds. As Paul advises, transformation comes not from our efforts to renew our minds but from allowing God to do so. Our role is to bring our minds as they are before God, surrendering control and praying, "Your will be done."

In this surrender, we find peace. The Prince of Peace has come, bringing good news of great joy. By naming our fears and bringing them to God, we open ourselves to His presence and the life He offers. We accept our minds with all their flaws, trusting in God's will and experiencing the joy and peace of Advent.

Key Takeaways:

- Radical acceptance involves embracing our fears and unwanted thoughts, recognizing that God accepts us as we are. This acceptance is a pathway to experiencing God's transformative power in our lives. [00:47]

- The command "fear not" is central to the Advent narrative, reminding us that fear is a common human experience. However, the solution is not to suppress fear but to confront it with openness and trust in God. [01:46]

- Experiential avoidance, the attempt to suppress unwanted thoughts and emotions, often leads to increased anxiety. True peace comes from being willing to experience these feelings and surrendering them to God. [05:19]

- Transformation of the mind is not achieved through our efforts but through surrender to God. By praying "Your will be done," we invite God to renew our minds and bring peace to our lives. [08:39]

- The practice of surrender involves distinguishing between the mind and the will. Our will is limited in power but can surrender to God, allowing us to access His peace and presence in our lives. [09:46]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:26] - Radical Acceptance
- [00:36] - Embracing Fears
- [01:00] - Advent's Command: Fear Not
- [01:34] - Angelic Messages
- [02:04] - The Problem with Fear
- [02:20] - Experiential Avoidance
- [03:49] - The Yellow Jeep Experiment
- [04:27] - The Dunk Tank Analogy
- [05:19] - The Ineffectiveness of Suppression
- [06:00] - Biblical Examples of Fear
- [06:45] - The Paradox of Willingness
- [07:41] - Surrender and Transformation
- [08:39] - Renewing the Mind
- [09:46] - The Power of Surrender
- [10:05] - Naming and Surrendering Fears

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: Embracing Radical Acceptance and Surrender

Bible Reading:
1. Luke 1:13 - "But the angel said to him: 'Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John.'"
2. Matthew 1:20 - "But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, 'Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.'"
3. Luke 2:10 - "But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.'"

Observation Questions:
1. What common message did the angels deliver to Zechariah, Joseph, and the shepherds? How does this message relate to the Advent season? [01:46]
2. How does the sermon describe the concept of "experiential avoidance," and what example is used to illustrate it? [02:20]
3. According to the sermon, what is the result of trying to suppress unwanted thoughts and emotions? [05:19]
4. What does the sermon suggest is the key to experiencing transformation and peace in our lives? [08:39]

Interpretation Questions:
1. Why might the command "fear not" be so central to the Advent narrative, and what does it reveal about human nature and God's message? [01:46]
2. How does the concept of "experiential avoidance" challenge common approaches to dealing with fear and anxiety? [02:20]
3. In what ways does the practice of surrender, as described in the sermon, differ from simply giving up control? [07:41]
4. How does the sermon’s interpretation of Romans 12:2 ("be transformed by the renewing of your mind") differ from a self-help approach to personal change? [08:39]

Application Questions:
1. Reflect on a fear or unwanted thought you have been trying to suppress. How might embracing it with openness change your experience? [05:19]
2. The sermon suggests that transformation comes from surrendering to God. What is one area of your life where you struggle to surrender control, and how can you begin to practice surrender in that area? [08:39]
3. Consider the message "fear not" in your own life. What is one fear you can name and bring to God this week, trusting in His presence and peace? [10:05]
4. How can you practice radical acceptance of yourself and others during this Advent season, and what impact might this have on your relationships? [00:26]
5. The sermon mentions the importance of distinguishing between the mind and the will. How can you apply this understanding to a current challenge you are facing? [09:35]
6. Identify a situation where you have been trying to control your thoughts or emotions. What is one practical step you can take to surrender this to God and invite His peace into the situation? [09:46]
7. How can the practice of praying "Your will be done" become a regular part of your spiritual life, and what changes do you hope to see as a result? [08:53]

Devotional

Day 1: Embracing Radical Acceptance
Radical acceptance involves embracing our fears and unwanted thoughts, recognizing that God accepts us as we are. This acceptance is a pathway to experiencing God's transformative power in our lives. When we acknowledge our fears and bring them before God, we open ourselves to His presence and the life He offers. The Advent season, with its command "fear not," invites us to confront our fears with openness rather than avoidance. By doing so, we align ourselves with the angelic messages to Zechariah, Joseph, Mary, and the shepherds, who were all encouraged to face their fears with trust in God. [00:47]

Isaiah 41:10 (ESV): "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Reflection: What fear or unwanted thought are you struggling to accept today? How can you bring it before God and trust in His acceptance and transformative power?


Day 2: Confronting Fear with Openness
The command "fear not" is central to the Advent narrative, reminding us that fear is a common human experience. However, the solution is not to suppress fear but to confront it with openness and trust in God. Suppressing fear often leads to increased anxiety, a phenomenon known as experiential avoidance. Instead, we are called to face our fears, trusting that God is with us and will guide us through them. This openness allows us to experience the fullness of life and God's presence. [01:46]

Psalm 34:4 (ESV): "I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears."

Reflection: What is one fear you are currently facing? How can you confront it with openness and trust in God's presence today?


Day 3: The Ineffectiveness of Suppression
Experiential avoidance, the attempt to suppress unwanted thoughts and emotions, often leads to increased anxiety. True peace comes from being willing to experience these feelings and surrendering them to God. When we try to control our inner experiences, our lives become constricted, and we cut ourselves off from the fullness of life and God's presence. By naming our fears and bringing them to God, we open ourselves to His peace and the joy of Advent. [05:19]

2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV): "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

Reflection: What unwanted thought or emotion have you been trying to suppress? How can you surrender it to God and experience His peace today?


Day 4: Surrendering for Transformation
Transformation of the mind is not achieved through our efforts but through surrender to God. By praying "Your will be done," we invite God to renew our minds and bring peace to our lives. This surrender involves distinguishing between the mind and the will, recognizing that our will is limited in power but can surrender to God. In this surrender, we find peace and the presence of God in our lives. [08:39]

Romans 12:2 (ESV): "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

Reflection: What area of your life do you need to surrender to God for transformation? How can you practice saying "Your will be done" in this area today?


Day 5: The Power of Surrender
The practice of surrender involves distinguishing between the mind and the will. Our will is limited in power but can surrender to God, allowing us to access His peace and presence in our lives. By naming our fears and bringing them to God, we open ourselves to His presence and the life He offers. This surrender is a form of radical acceptance, mirroring the acceptance God extends to us. In this surrender, we experience the joy and peace of Advent. [09:46]

James 4:7-8 (ESV): "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you."

Reflection: How can you practice surrendering your will to God today? What specific step can you take to draw near to Him and experience His peace?

Quotes

"Today I want to talk particularly about radically accepting our fears and actually radically accepting all of the unwanted negative thoughts and feelings that come into our minds and this will sound really strange and counterintuitive, and I know it but stay with me all the way through this this is something I'm working on a lot, and it really is a way to open the door to God's power to change your mind and your life and mine too." [00:31:35]

"The single command that is most often issued is a bit of a surprise we might think it's uh, come let us adore him worship the child or we might think that it's go tell it on the mountain spread the good news, it's not the number one command is fear not don't be afraid, angel comes to Zechariah who's going to be the dad of John the Baptist and he's terrified and angel says don't be afraid." [01:06:47]

"One of the greatest problems associated particularly with fear but generally with unwanted thoughts and emotions is what is sometimes called experiential avoidance that is we try hard to avoid our inner experiences unpleasant thoughts, emotions, memories, desires, we try to suppress them or we try to push them away, and that ends up not working, and it's for a very distinct reason." [02:07:20]

"Research researchers work with this kind of stuff all the time and they'll find for example if you get a group of people and you tell them try very hard not to think of a yellow jeep, get a real vivid picture in your mind initially of what a yellow jeep looks like and then try really hard not to think about it, it turns out that people's images of a yellow jeep goes way up even when they're trying hard not to think about it at all." [02:55:36]

"When we enter into experiential avoidance really bad things happen to us for one thing our lives become constricted and narrow, in the bible you see this all the time when the people are at mount Sinai and God is present but they're afraid and they say to Moses you go see God face to face but not us because we're terrified or when the Israelites live in fear over Goliath all except for David." [05:52:72]

"Now we can get sneaky about this sometimes people will think well okay if it's true that if I'm willing to have anxiety I might experience less anxiety, then I'll try to be willing to experience anxiety so that I can experience less anxiety but of course if you're doing that if you're saying that you're willing to have more anxiety as a way to experience less anxiety you are not really willing to experience anxiety and so you will experience more anxiety." [07:00:80]

"The practice of surrender, the practice of willingness before God whether rather than trying to control my mind and control my life, it's interesting when Paul talks to the church at Rome, he says don't be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind but he does not say now you have to renew your minds, sometimes we read that and we think oh man my mind is such a mess." [07:41:92]

"Instead I bring my mind as it is and open it up before God and say now God, I'm putting you in charge of my mind, I'm not going to try to control it anymore, and the basic prayer the foundational fundamental prayer over and over and over we have been learning together is your will be done, I can't, he can, I think I'll let him." [08:30:88]

"Our wills our wills are very important they're very finite limited in power, they're not able to push our thoughts around by willpower but they're able to surrender, the will was made to surrender to God and this is part of how we access the power of God in our lives and in our minds, the prince of peace has come, do not be afraid." [09:36:39]

"So in this moment whatever your fear is you can name it, you can feel it, it's not killing you, it's not making you go away, and now I bring it to God, dear father, those thoughts, those circumstances, those possibilities, that seem worst to me I am not able to control, your will be done, your will be done." [10:11:20]

"I don't want to miss experiencing you or life today, so I accept my little mind with all of its flaws and peculiarities and dark shadows I accept it your will be done, fear not, good news, great joy." [10:46:48]

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Transcript
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