Embracing Failure: Wisdom, Growth, and God's Guidance

 

Summary

In today's gathering, we explored the theme of failure and how it is an unavoidable part of life. We began by reflecting on the Challenger disaster, a catastrophic event that was not the result of a single failure but a series of smaller, overlooked issues. This serves as a metaphor for our own lives, where small, ignored problems can lead to significant crises. We discussed how failure is often linked to our fear of loneliness and the need for validation, which can drive us to make unwise decisions.

We delved into the biblical story of King Rehoboam, who faced a major catastrophe due to his refusal to heed wise counsel. Instead of listening to the elders, he chose to follow the advice of his peers, leading to the division of his kingdom. This story illustrates the importance of seeking wisdom and guidance beyond our immediate desires and the voices that simply echo our own wants.

We acknowledged that while failure is inevitable, it is also an opportunity for growth and maturity. Facing our failures and the reality of our choices is a marker of maturity. We emphasized that God’s intervention is always possible, offering unconditional love and forgiveness, but not necessarily unconditional endorsement of our desires. This distinction is crucial in understanding true love and guidance.

We concluded by encouraging everyone to seek wisdom outside of themselves, to trust in God’s guidance rather than relying solely on personal understanding. This involves making wise choices, even when they are difficult, and recognizing that God’s wisdom is aimed at restoration and avoiding further catastrophe.

Key Takeaways:

1. Failure as a Sequence of Events: Failure is often not a single event but the culmination of a series of smaller, ignored issues. Recognizing and addressing these early can prevent larger crises. This requires humility and the willingness to face uncomfortable truths about our choices. [31:11]

2. The Fear of Loneliness and Validation: Our fear of failure is deeply connected to our fear of being alone and the need for validation. This can lead us to make unwise decisions in an attempt to belong or be accepted. Understanding this can help us make more grounded choices. [30:01]

3. Seeking Wise Counsel: The story of Rehoboam teaches us the importance of seeking wisdom from those who have experience and insight, rather than just those who agree with us. True wisdom often challenges our desires and requires us to consider perspectives beyond our own. [39:02]

4. God’s Unconditional Love and Forgiveness: God offers unconditional love and forgiveness, which is different from unconditional endorsement of our desires. This love is aimed at guiding us towards better choices and helping us navigate through failures. [59:20]

5. The Importance of External Wisdom: We are encouraged to seek wisdom outside of ourselves, particularly from God, who provides guidance that is not influenced by our biases. Trusting in God’s wisdom can lead us to make choices that align with His will and avoid unnecessary catastrophes. [01:01:23]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [24:44] - Childhood Fascination with Space
- [28:27] - The Challenger Disaster
- [30:01] - Failure and Fear of Loneliness
- [31:11] - Sequence of Failures
- [32:08] - Ignoring Small Issues
- [33:03] - The Story of Rehoboam
- [37:20] - Seeking Wise Counsel
- [39:02] - Rehoboam's Unwise Choices
- [41:56] - The Justification Machine
- [45:53] - Abandoning God's Law
- [47:12] - The Role of the Law
- [50:43] - Jealous Anger of God
- [51:57] - The Catastrophe of Rehoboam
- [52:49] - Personal Reflection on Choices
- [55:23] - Taking Responsibility
- [56:45] - The Danger of Unwise Wants
- [57:34] - Room for God's Intervention
- [59:20] - Unconditional Love vs. Endorsement
- [01:01:23] - Seeking External Wisdom
- [01:02:12] - Prayer and Reflection

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:

1. 1 Kings 12:1-15
2. 1 Kings 14:25-26
3. Proverbs 3:5-6

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Observation Questions:

1. What was the advice given to King Rehoboam by the elders, and how did it differ from the advice given by his peers? ([39:02])

2. How did Rehoboam's decision to follow the advice of his peers instead of the elders lead to the division of the kingdom? ([40:21])

3. What does the term "go fever" refer to, and how did it contribute to the Challenger disaster as discussed in the sermon? ([28:27])

4. How does the sermon describe the difference between God's unconditional love and unconditional endorsement of our desires? ([59:20])

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Interpretation Questions:

1. How does the story of Rehoboam illustrate the consequences of ignoring wise counsel in favor of advice that aligns with personal desires? ([39:02])

2. In what ways does the fear of failure relate to the fear of loneliness and the need for validation, as discussed in the sermon? ([30:01])

3. How does the sermon suggest that failure can be an opportunity for growth and maturity? What role does God's intervention play in this process? ([58:40])

4. What does it mean to seek wisdom outside of oneself, particularly from God, and how can this prevent personal catastrophes? ([01:01:23])

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on a time when you ignored small issues in your life that later led to a larger crisis. What steps can you take to address small problems early on in the future? ([31:11])

2. Consider your current fears of failure. How might these fears be connected to a need for validation or fear of loneliness? What practical steps can you take to address these fears? ([30:01])

3. Think about a recent decision where you sought advice. Did you choose to follow the advice that challenged you or the one that aligned with your desires? How can you ensure you seek and follow wise counsel in the future? ([39:02])

4. How can you differentiate between God's unconditional love and the endorsement of your desires in your life? What steps can you take to align your desires with God's guidance? ([59:20])

5. Identify an area in your life where you have been relying solely on your understanding. How can you begin to trust in God's wisdom and guidance in this area? ([01:01:23])

6. Reflect on a personal failure. How can you view this failure as an opportunity for growth and maturity? What role can God's love and forgiveness play in this process? ([58:40])

7. What is one specific way you can seek external wisdom this week, either from God or from wise counsel, to make a difficult decision you are facing? ([01:01:23])

Devotional

Day 1: Recognizing the Sequence of Failures
Failure is often not a single event but the culmination of a series of smaller, ignored issues. In life, we may overlook minor problems, thinking they are insignificant, but these can accumulate and lead to significant crises. This requires humility and the willingness to face uncomfortable truths about our choices. By acknowledging these small issues early, we can prevent larger failures. This concept is illustrated by the Challenger disaster, which was not caused by one major error but by a series of overlooked problems. Recognizing this pattern in our own lives can help us address issues before they escalate. [31:11]

Proverbs 24:16 (ESV): "For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity."

Reflection: What small issues in your life have you been ignoring that could lead to larger problems if left unaddressed? How can you begin to address them today?


Day 2: Understanding the Fear of Loneliness and Validation
Our fear of failure is deeply connected to our fear of being alone and the need for validation. This fear can drive us to make unwise decisions in an attempt to belong or be accepted. By understanding this connection, we can make more grounded choices that are not based on the need for external validation. It is important to recognize that our worth is not determined by others' opinions but by our intrinsic value as individuals. This understanding can help us make decisions that align with our true selves rather than seeking approval from others. [30:01]

Galatians 1:10 (ESV): "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."

Reflection: In what areas of your life are you seeking validation from others? How can you shift your focus to seeking validation from God instead?


Day 3: The Importance of Seeking Wise Counsel
The story of King Rehoboam teaches us the importance of seeking wisdom from those who have experience and insight, rather than just those who agree with us. Rehoboam's refusal to heed wise counsel led to the division of his kingdom. This story illustrates that true wisdom often challenges our desires and requires us to consider perspectives beyond our own. By seeking wise counsel, we can make decisions that are informed and balanced, rather than impulsive and self-serving. It is crucial to surround ourselves with people who can provide honest and constructive feedback. [39:02]

Proverbs 11:14 (ESV): "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety."

Reflection: Who are the wise counselors in your life that you can turn to for guidance? How can you actively seek their advice in your decision-making process?


Day 4: Embracing God’s Unconditional Love and Forgiveness
God offers unconditional love and forgiveness, which is different from unconditional endorsement of our desires. This love is aimed at guiding us towards better choices and helping us navigate through failures. Understanding this distinction is crucial in recognizing that God's love is not about fulfilling our every want but about leading us to a path of growth and maturity. Embracing this love means accepting forgiveness and using it as a foundation to make better choices in the future. It is a reminder that while we may fail, we are not defined by our failures. [59:20]

Psalm 103:12 (ESV): "As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us."

Reflection: How have you experienced God's unconditional love and forgiveness in your life? How can you use this experience to make better choices moving forward?


Day 5: Seeking Wisdom Beyond Ourselves
We are encouraged to seek wisdom outside of ourselves, particularly from God, who provides guidance that is not influenced by our biases. Trusting in God’s wisdom can lead us to make choices that align with His will and avoid unnecessary catastrophes. This involves making wise choices, even when they are difficult, and recognizing that God’s wisdom is aimed at restoration and avoiding further catastrophe. By seeking external wisdom, we can gain a broader perspective and make decisions that are not solely based on our limited understanding. [01:01:23]

James 1:5 (ESV): "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him."

Reflection: In what areas of your life do you need to seek God's wisdom? How can you actively pursue His guidance in your daily decisions?

Quotes

"Failure is an unavoidable part of our life. No matter how much we don't like it or don't want it, it's just part of our life. We can't avoid it. And to that end, the Bible says this, as we've said every week, 1 John 1 .8. If we claim to be without sin, which is a huge umbrella for lots of different kinds of things, but it's at least, at a minimum, it's about failure. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth isn't in us. Every single one of us can point to a moment where something got the better of us, we made a decision we wish we didn't make." [00:29:26] (26 seconds)


"And the reason why so much of this idea of failure is an intolerable kind of thing is because... is because it's linked very closely to our own fear of loneliness. You see, everybody wants to have some kind of... that we long for validation and approval. And when we fail, we wonder if my contribution to whatever group I belong is enough. And then if we wonder, if we fail, we start wondering, oh my gosh, am I even belongable anymore? And so at its root, all we're wondering about is when we confront failure is, am I going to be alone if I fail?" [00:30:07] (30 seconds)


"But all catastrophes, whether they're personal or public or they're big or they're small, they all have some things that are really similar. And this is the most important one, because the catastrophe itself, it's not a single failure. Everybody who saw the Challenger explosion or any other disaster, whatever it might be, everybody knows it's not a single failure. It's the last failure in a series or a sequence of much smaller failures. We see the final failure. We see the final moment. We see the last failure in a sequence of failures. It's not just that one event happened. It's a whole bunch of other things that happened." [00:30:50] (29 seconds)


"And we also know because there's a long sequence of things, particularly in something like a space shuttle launch, we know there's a long sequence of things that have probably had some yellow flags in it. And what people have to realize is that the stakes of failing are always lower at the beginning of that sequence than at the end of that sequence. Because everything begins to compound and build on itself. And the stakes of failing are much, much less. Stakes of exposure and embarrassment are much, much lower at the beginning of a sequence than at the end of one." [00:31:31] (27 seconds)


"Rehoboam rejected the advice of the elders that they gave him. He's like, you know what? Old guys don't know what they're doing. Here's what he says. He consulted the young men who had grown up with him, and were serving him. Now, just to be clear, these are people who are like the fellas. This is the guys, this is the crew. These are people who rode their bikes together, and they like threw rocks at trains, and whatever else they did when they were young, whatever it is that they did, this is that group of people, but it also says they were serving him, which means they might be on the payroll." [00:39:23] (27 seconds)


"Rehoboam doesn't want wisdom. That's not what he's after. He wants something else. He wants something, he wants his own wants. He wants confirmation of his own wants from the people that are around him. You've been right all along. That's what you wanted to do. You know that's what you wanted to do. You should do that. You're better than your dad. He's big and famous, but you're a big deal, too." [00:43:02] (22 seconds)


"What's true about every step on this process from wants to go fever to decisions to catastrophe, what's true about this, what's important to keep in mind is there's always room for God to intervene. Wherever you are, there's always room for God to intervene. Wherever you are, on a sequence of making bad decisions or having already felt the impact of having made that sequence and having it implode on you, there's always room for God to intervene. And the way God intervenes, I'm oversimplifying, but it's nonetheless true. The way God always intervenes is with unconditional love and forgiveness." [00:58:02] (31 seconds)


"Jesus shows up with unconditional love and forgiveness, but that's not the same thing as enabling people's behavior and enabling their own destruction to save their feelings. Now, there's also, there's always room for God to sort of, his intervention to show up, but there's also always room for a wise choice. The next choice can be a wise one. Wherever you might be, even though you might have had a sequence of really dumb things, the next choice can be an incredibly wise choice. You can make that decision. The question you and I have to face about that wise choice, the next choice we make, is which wisdom are you going to utilize?" [01:00:08] (36 seconds)


"The Bible is saying, look, there is, you are not as trustworthy, you and I are not as trustworthy as we think we are. Our own judgment is skewed and we need something outside of us to give us some kind of insight. Lean not on your own understanding in all your ways. Submit to him and he will make your paths. Straight. See what's hard for us sometimes is that God doesn't deal in flattery or people pleasing like we do. He deals in wisdom and truth." [01:01:13] (25 seconds)


"And what God cares about is restoration from and navigation through and the avoidance of hopefully any further catastrophe, because it's so destructive. And we, you and I, we need wisdom we cannot give to ourselves. We have to look to somewhere else. is it that you will look outside of yourself? a confirmation machine, but to the truth about what you really need for a wise choice. Let's pray together." [01:01:43] (37 seconds)


"Jesus, every one of us faces the kind of moments where we want our wants to be wonderful and amazing, and they're not always wonderful. And we confess to you, Father, where we're just looking for confirmation of what we already want. That lacks wisdom, and there's probably another in a sequence of choices that we ought not to make. Father, we're grateful that you come to us with love and forgiveness, that you identify with us. Here's where we are. Let's take our next step together." [01:02:12] (28 seconds)


"And so Father, might we trust in what you have already given us, which is your wisdom and your presence. And so Father, we, as a community of people, we look to you. We confess that our own understanding isn't enough. We look to you. Father, would you hear us now as we, in a moment, we said our own prayer to music. Before we do that, would you allow these words to be sung over you? Would you allow them to be the prayer of your own heart, such that they might become apparent to you in this space?" [01:02:46] (30 seconds)


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Transcript
What was the most surprising thing in this sermon?
Were there any personal stories shared?