Embracing Costly Love: Unity in Christ
Summary
In a world that is increasingly divided and confused about identity, God calls us to be a people who know who we are in Christ and who live out His love in tangible ways. One of the core values we must embrace is loving people—especially when it’s hard. Love is not just a feeling or a slogan; it’s the most powerful tool Jesus gave us to make a difference in the world. In a culture filled with grumbling, division, and complaint, we are called to turn up the volume of love, focusing not on what divides us but on what unites us in Christ.
Loving people means reaching across every barrier—race, culture, age, background, or political view. Jesus modeled this by loving those who were different, like the Samaritan woman at the well, and by dining with both sinners and religious leaders. We are challenged to step out of our comfort zones, to invite people into our lives who are not like us, and to focus on our shared identity as followers of Christ rather than the adjectives that describe us. The church should be a place where everyone feels seen, valued, and loved, regardless of their story or background.
Generational differences can also be a source of division, but God’s design is for every generation to honor, learn from, and invest in one another. We all need mentors, peers, and those we can disciple. The wisdom of the older generation and the passion of the younger are both essential for a healthy, growing church. Love is not just taught; it’s caught, and it must be modeled across every age and stage of life.
Loving like Jesus means loving through exhaustion, conflict, and disagreement. We don’t manufacture love; we receive it from God and let it flow through us. Sometimes, loving others will cost us—our time, energy, resources, or even our pride. But cheap love changes nothing; costly love transforms lives. The early church grew because of their radical love and unity, not because of perfect systems or impressive buildings. Our greatest witness to the world is how we love one another, building bridges instead of walls, and letting love be the culture of our church.
Key Takeaways
- Love Focuses on Unity, Not Division
True love in Christ compels us to look beyond the differences that so easily divide—race, background, politics, or personality—and to focus on what unites us: our shared identity as followers of Jesus. When we let our adjectives (like political or cultural labels) overshadow our noun (Christian), we lose sight of the cross that unites us all. The world will know we are His by our love, not by our sameness. [07:29]
- Generational Honor and Mutual Investment
God’s design for His people is that every generation honors, learns from, and invests in one another. The older generation brings wisdom, perspective, and stability, while the younger brings passion, energy, and fresh vision. We all need mentors, peers, and those we can disciple—Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy relationships—so that love and faith are both taught and caught across every age. [13:53]
- Love Flows from God, Not Our Own Strength
We are not called to manufacture love out of our own depleted resources. Instead, we receive love from God, who fills us so that we can pour out His love to others. When we’re exhausted or discouraged, the answer is not to try harder but to return to the source—resting in Christ and letting His love overflow through us, even when it feels impossible. [22:08]
- Love Perseveres Through Conflict and Disagreement
Loving others doesn’t mean avoiding conflict or pretending differences don’t exist. It means choosing honor over winning arguments, grace over retaliation, and unity over division. Mature love stays at the table, listens, and seeks to win hearts rather than just debates, knowing that revival and the health of the church depend on our unity. [29:30]
- Costly Love Changes Lives
Cheap love is convenient and self-serving, but kingdom love is costly and sacrificial. It may require forgiving without apology, giving when it hurts, or humbling ourselves when pride wants to win. The Good Samaritan’s example reminds us that love often interrupts our plans and costs us something, but it is never wasted—because it reflects the heart of Jesus and builds a culture that draws people to Him. [32:47]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[00:43] - Worship: Our First Value
[02:11] - Focusing on What Unites Us
[06:00] - Loving Across Differences
[07:29] - Identity: Adjectives vs. Our Noun
[08:51] - Embracing Diversity in the Church
[09:53] - A Story of Radical Welcome
[12:50] - Generational Differences and Honor
[13:53] - Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy Relationships
[15:25] - The Value of Intergenerational Community
[17:55] - Wisdom and Passion: Both Are Needed
[19:26] - Building a Multigenerational Church
[22:08] - Love Flows from God’s Source
[26:53] - Loving Through Conflict and Disagreement
[29:30] - Love Stays at the Table
[31:51] - The Cost of Real Love
[32:47] - The Good Samaritan: Love in Action
[34:19] - The Culture of the Early Church
[36:12] - Love First, Then Address Sin
[37:42] - Unity as Our Greatest Witness
[38:32] - Love: The Bridge to the World
[40:04] - Love in Action: This Week’s Challenge
[41:28] - Responding to God’s Love and Salvation
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: Loving Like Jesus in a Divided World
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### Bible Reading
- Romans 12:16-18
“Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
- John 4:1-26
(Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well)
- Luke 10:25-37
(The Parable of the Good Samaritan)
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### Observation Questions
1. In Romans 12:16, what specific instructions does Paul give about how we should relate to people who are different from us?
2. According to the story of the Samaritan woman in John 4, what social and cultural barriers did Jesus cross to show love?
3. In the Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10), what did the Samaritan do that the religious leaders did not?
4. The sermon described love as “the volume knob” in a world filled with hate and division. What does that mean in practical terms? [[01:36]]
---
### Interpretation Questions
1. The sermon says, “We are called to love people—especially when it’s hard.” Why do you think loving people who are different or difficult is so important for followers of Jesus? [[06:00]]
2. The pastor talked about “adjectives vs. our noun”—not letting labels like political or cultural identities overshadow our identity as Christians. How can focusing on our shared identity in Christ help us overcome division? [[07:29]]
3. The sermon emphasized the need for “Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy” relationships across generations. Why is it important for the church to be intentionally intergenerational? [[13:53]]
4. The pastor said, “We don’t manufacture love; we receive it from God and let it flow through us.” What does it look like to rely on God’s love instead of trying to love others in your own strength? [[22:08]]
---
### Application Questions
1. Think about your current relationships. Is there someone in your life who is very different from you—maybe in background, culture, age, or beliefs? What is one step you could take this week to reach out and show them love? [[06:00]]
2. The sermon challenged us not to let our “adjectives” (like political or cultural labels) overshadow our “noun” (Christian). Are there any labels or opinions you hold that sometimes get in the way of loving other believers? How can you put your identity in Christ first this week? [[07:29]]
3. The pastor described the need for “Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy” relationships. Who is someone older you can learn from, a peer you can walk with, and someone younger you can invest in? What is one practical way you can connect with each of these this month? [[13:53]]
4. When you feel exhausted or “out of love,” what is your usual response? How can you intentionally go to God as your source of love and strength instead of just trying harder? [[22:08]]
5. The sermon said, “Love perseveres through conflict and disagreement.” Is there a relationship in your life where you need to choose honor and grace over winning an argument? What would it look like to “stay at the table” in that situation? [[29:30]]
6. The Good Samaritan’s love was costly and inconvenient. Can you think of a recent time when loving someone cost you something? How did you respond, and what might you do differently next time? [[32:47]]
7. The pastor gave a challenge: “Find one person you can bless this week, one grudge you can release, and one difficult person to show love to.” Which of these is most challenging for you, and what is your plan to take a step in that direction this week? [[40:04]]
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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Ask God to fill you with His love so you can love others—especially those who are different, difficult, or distant. Pray for unity in your group and church, and for opportunities to put love into action this week.
Devotional
Day 1: Love Unites Us Beyond Our Differences
True love focuses on what unites us, not what divides us.
Loving people who are different from us—whether in culture, background, personality, or beliefs—can be challenging, but it is the very thing that reflects the heart of Jesus. When we choose to look past the things that separate us and instead focus on our shared identity in Christ, we create a community where everyone feels valued and seen. Jesus modeled this by reaching across social, cultural, and gender divides, showing us that real love is not limited by human boundaries. As we intentionally build relationships with those who are not like us, we grow, learn, and become more like Christ, letting love be the loudest voice in a divided world. [06:00]
Romans 12:16 (ESV)
"Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight."
Reflection: Who is one person in your life who is different from you—whether in background, beliefs, or personality—that you can intentionally reach out to this week to build a bridge of love and understanding?
Day 2: Generational Love and Honor
Every generation has something vital to offer, and God calls us to honor, learn from, and invest in one another across generational lines.
The church is designed to be a tapestry of ages, where the wisdom and experience of the older generation meet the passion and energy of the younger. We all need mentors to guide us, peers to walk with us, and those we can pour into. When we value and invite each other into our lives, regardless of age, we break down barriers and build a stronger, healthier church. The enemy wants to divide us by age, but God’s design is for us to complete and complement one another, creating a culture where everyone is needed and everyone belongs. [13:53]
Titus 2:1-8 (ESV)
"But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us."
Reflection: Who is one person from a different generation—older or younger—that you can encourage, learn from, or invest in this week?
Day 3: Love Flows From God, Not Our Own Strength
We are called to love others not by our own strength, but by receiving and passing on the love God pours into us.
Trying to love people on an empty tank leads to exhaustion and frustration, but God never intended for us to manufacture love on our own. Instead, we are to be rivers, not reservoirs—receiving God’s love and letting it flow through us to others. When we feel depleted, we can come to God for renewal, allowing His love to fill us up so that we can keep loving, even when it’s hard or unreciprocated. Jesus Himself loved others even when He was tired and weary, showing us that love is not about convenience or energy, but about eternity and obedience to God’s call. [23:03]
1 John 4:19 (ESV)
"We love because he first loved us."
Reflection: When you feel drained or empty, what is one practical way you can pause and let God fill you with His love before you try to love others?
Day 4: Love Through Conflict and Disagreement
Mature love chooses peace, honor, and unity even in the midst of conflict and disagreement.
Disagreements and conflicts are inevitable, but how we respond reveals the depth of our love. Instead of repaying evil for evil or letting pride and division take root, we are called to live at peace as far as it depends on us, to listen more than we speak, and to seek to win hearts rather than arguments. Love stays at the table, even when it’s hard, and chooses to honor others above being right. When we focus on unity and grace, we become a church where revival and growth can flourish, rather than being stalled by division and petty arguments. [29:30]
Romans 12:17-18 (ESV)
"Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."
Reflection: Is there a conflict or disagreement in your life where you need to choose to be a peacemaker and show honor, even if you feel you are right?
Day 5: Love Is Costly and Action-Oriented
True love is sacrificial, costly, and demonstrated through tangible actions, not just words.
Loving like Jesus means going beyond convenience and comfort—it often costs us time, energy, resources, and even our pride. The Good Samaritan didn’t just feel compassion; he acted, crossing cultural lines and paying a personal price to care for someone in need. In the same way, we are called to love all people, not just those who are easy to love or who can repay us. When we create a culture of radical, action-oriented love, people are drawn to Christ and the church becomes a place where everyone feels valued and seen. Love is the bridge that connects the church to the world, and it is by our love that people will know we belong to Jesus. [34:19]
1 Corinthians 13:13 (ESV)
"So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
Reflection: What is one specific, sacrificial act of love you can do for someone this week—especially if it costs you something or is inconvenient?
Quotes
We live in a world that is having a major identity crisis. People don't know who they are anymore or who they're called to be, but God designed you and I to know exactly who he created us to be. So what we're doing is we're looking into that and we're trying to discover who we are in Christ, who we are as a church, and how he's going to use us to change the world in which we live. [00:00:03] (27 seconds)
We're gonna love people even when it's hard. Let me rephrase that, we're gonna love people especially when it's hard because how many of you know it's easy to love people that are easy but man there are some people that try your Jesus ain't it and it's just like whoa I'm trying to love you right now because I want to kill you but the thing is is we're gonna let love be what leads. [00:03:07] (20 seconds)
Because, again, it's easy to love people that think like us, look like us, and act like us. But real love is shown when we can value the connection and choose to love people when it's not easy, when it's not comfortable, when it seems like that our differences might be too vast or too big. [00:05:11] (19 seconds)
If you're part of the older generation, don't disqualify yourself or think that you're no longer needed. You have decades of faithfulness that this generation needs. Your scars tell stories. Your endurance carries weight. The younger generation needs your wisdom, your patience, your prayers, and your perspective. So don't stay silent. Lean in to those younger relationships. [00:14:38] (24 seconds)
You were never meant to manufacture love. I've just got to love people. I just got to love. No. You let the Father who loved you first pour His love into you and then it's just going to spill out over into the world around us. That's how it happens. First John 4 19 says we love because He first loved us. [00:22:43] (20 seconds)
Never once in loving people do we ignore sin. It may not be the first thing we address when they walk in the room. Because I think sometimes we've got to love. love them first. Jesus loved us while we were still sinners. He addressed the sin, but he loved us first. [00:36:12] (18 seconds)
Love is what builds the bridge for the gospel of Jesus Christ to travel across. You don't win people by winning arguments or proving your point. You win them by winning their heart, and you win it with love. [00:39:09] (15 seconds)
We don't love because it's easy. We love because it's who we are. We love because He first loved us. So let's get busy, church, loving like Jesus, no matter what it costs us. Amen? Amen. [00:40:58] (17 seconds)
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