Embracing Connection: The Power of Meaningful Interactions

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Now the reason that in the new testament we're commanded to greet each other with a holy kiss was because they were building a culture of connection and affection, and it turns out that the way that we greet each other, the way that we look at each other talking with each other actually gives us life and isolating disconnecting from other people kills us. We are living at a time of isolation and disconnectedness. [00:01:32]

Where words are absence, connection does not happen, and love and encouragement and goodness do not take place between people. So we're commanded to have a different kind of culture. If you want to net out what I'm going to say today, it's just simply this: talk to people. Talk to somebody you are not planning on talking to. [00:02:52]

Nicholas very aware of the fact that when we connect with other people we are happier, we are healthier, we have a greater sense of purpose and yet we don't do it and the reason is very often we tell ourselves that these connections will be difficult, awkward, not very fun. [00:03:33]

Most of us are systematically mistaken about how much we will enjoy a social encounter. Commuters expect to have less pleasant rides if they try to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but their actual experience was precisely the opposite. People randomly assigned to talk with a stranger enjoyed their trips consistently more than people who just kept to themselves. [00:04:14]

It turns out that people underestimate how positively others will respond when they reach out to express support. People consistently underestimate how much they are going to learn if they enter into conversations with other people. Brooks writes, people also underestimate how they would enjoy longer conversations with new acquaintances. [00:05:04]

We are an extremely social species, but many of us suffer from what Eppley calls under sociality. We see the world in anxiety drenched ways that causes us to avoid situations where we would end up in contact with other people and it really is destroying us. [00:06:02]

However, it turns out that when people talk with you, when you initiate conversation with them, they are not primarily assessing you for intelligence or social competence. Mostly we are assessing each other for warmth. We're just wondering, are you interested in me, do you care about me, and when we receive that from another person it brings us to life. [00:06:49]

God in Jesus put on flesh. It's interesting in Luke 7 there's a story of Jesus with a woman that was a sinful woman who pours out her affection to him and Jesus says to the host of the dinner there when I came in you did not greet me with a kiss in that ancient culture, a kiss was a customary way of greeting. [00:07:46]

In the New Testament it says to make it holy that is to invite God into it, to ask God would you use this gesture to pour out blessings into the lives of another person. People just want to know that you care. [00:08:18]

My general view is the fate of America, maybe even the world, will be importantly determined by how we treat each other in the smallest acts of daily life. This means being a genius at the close at hand, greeting a stranger, detecting anxiety in somebody's voice, and asking them what's wrong, knowing how to talk across differences, not being too busy to be interrupted. [00:09:15]

The genius of the close at hand in theological terms is called incarnation. Our God is not a distant God but a God who wanted to get up close and personal and came in the flesh. [00:09:56]

Wherever you are it will bring life to you if you connect with other people. You were made to count and we do that in the smallest ways. [00:10:43]

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