Embracing Conflict: Growth Through Disagreement and Grace
Summary
Conflict is an inevitable part of life, even among those who are closest to us and even in the midst of great success. Acts 15 gives us a window into a sharp disagreement between Paul and Barnabas—two spiritual giants whose partnership had been fruitful and whose relationship was deep. Their conflict, centered around whether to bring John Mark along on their next journey, was not a minor issue. It was so significant that it led to their parting ways. This moment reminds us that even the most faithful and Spirit-led people can find themselves at odds, and that not all conflict is rooted in sin. Sometimes, it’s simply the collision of differing perspectives, desires, or priorities.
The early church, often idealized as perfectly unified, was not immune to disputes. The Jerusalem Council had just made a groundbreaking decision to welcome Gentiles without requiring them to become fully Jewish, a move that surely created its own waves of disagreement. Yet, the Spirit was present and active, working through the conversations, the debates, and even the disagreements. Conflict, then, is not something to be feared or avoided at all costs. In fact, it can be an opportunity for growth, deeper understanding, and the movement of the Holy Spirit.
Fear is often the greatest barrier to healthy conflict. When we let fear drive us, we become self-centered, reactive, and unable to process new perspectives. Fear keeps us from listening, from learning, and from loving well. The call is to face conflict with courage, trusting that the Spirit can work even in our sharpest disagreements. Sometimes, the only way around conflict is through it—by engaging honestly, seeking to honor God, and striving to be Christlike in our interactions.
Even when relationships are strained or paths diverge, God’s grace goes with us. The story of Paul and Barnabas did not end in bitterness; later, Paul would speak warmly of John Mark, showing that reconciliation and redemption are always possible. The Spirit’s agenda—to reach the world with the love of Christ—was not thwarted by their disagreement. In fact, their separation led to more people being reached and more leaders being developed. The challenge is to not lose sight of God’s greater vision, even when we find ourselves in the midst of conflict. We are called to love, to listen, and to keep moving forward in faith, trusting that God can redeem even our disputes for His purposes.
Key Takeaways
- Conflict is Inevitable, Even Among the Faithful
No amount of spiritual maturity or past success exempts us from conflict. Paul and Barnabas, despite their deep partnership and shared mission, found themselves in a disagreement so sharp that it led to separation. This reminds us that conflict is a normal part of life and ministry, and it does not necessarily mean that something is wrong with us or our faith. [40:41]
- Not All Conflict is Sinful—But It Is Always an Opportunity
While some conflicts are rooted in sin, many arise simply from differing perspectives or desires. The disagreement between Paul and Barnabas was not inherently sinful, but it was a moment that required discernment and grace. Every conflict is an opportunity for conversation, listening, and deepening relationships, if we are willing to engage with humility and openness. [46:28]
- Fear Blocks Growth and Hinders the Spirit’s Work
When fear takes over, it narrows our vision, makes us self-centered, and prevents us from learning or seeing the bigger picture. Fear leads us to avoid honest conversations or to react defensively, which can damage relationships and hinder the Spirit’s movement. The antidote is to pray for courage and to trust the Spirit to guide us through difficult conversations. [49:23]
- God’s Grace Goes With Us, Even When We Part Ways
Even when relationships are strained or paths diverge, God’s grace is not limited. Paul and Barnabas went separate ways, but the Spirit continued to work through both of them, expanding the reach of the gospel. Later, Paul’s reconciliation with John Mark shows that God can redeem broken relationships and use them for His purposes. [54:18]
- The Spirit’s Agenda is Greater Than Our Disagreements
The mission of God—to reach every generation, nation, and age—continues, even in the midst of our disputes. Paul and Barnabas never lost sight of the vision to spread the gospel, and neither should we. Our calling is to honor God in our conflicts, to love one another, and to keep moving forward, trusting that the Spirit can use even our disagreements for the sake of the world. [56:35]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[29:19] - Opening Prayer
[31:03] - The Power and Problems of Success
[32:30] - The Beatles and the Reality of Conflict
[33:49] - The Jerusalem Council’s Decision
[35:05] - New Beginnings for the Early Church
[35:55] - Paul and Barnabas in Antioch
[37:32] - Conflict Among Believers
[38:42] - Avoiding and Facing Conflict
[40:41] - The Sharp Disagreement Over John Mark
[43:44] - Commending to the Grace of the Lord
[44:56] - Can God Redeem Our Disagreements?
[47:11] - Conflict as Opportunity
[49:23] - The Paralyzing Power of Fear
[50:21] - Striving to Be Christlike in Disagreement
[54:18] - God’s Grace in Separation and Reconciliation
[56:35] - The Spirit’s Agenda and Our Calling
[58:30] - Closing Prayer and Invitation
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: Acts 15 and the Reality of Conflict
---
### Bible Reading
- Acts 15:36–41 (ESV)
> 36 And after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are.”
> 37 Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark.
> 38 But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work.
> 39 And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus,
> 40 but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord.
> 41 And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.
- Philippians 2:14–15 (ESV)
> 14 Do all things without grumbling or disputing,
> 15 that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.
- Romans 12:18 (ESV)
> 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
---
### Observation Questions
1. What was the main reason for the disagreement between Paul and Barnabas in Acts 15?
([40:41])
2. According to the sermon, how did the early church respond to the decision of the Jerusalem Council about Gentile believers?
([35:05])
3. What did Paul and Barnabas do after they parted ways, and how did the church respond to their separation?
([43:44])
4. In Philippians 2:14–15, what does Paul say about grumbling and arguing, and what is the intended result for believers?
---
### Interpretation Questions
1. The sermon says that not all conflict is sinful, but it always presents an opportunity. What does this mean in the context of Paul and Barnabas’s disagreement?
([46:28])
2. How does fear affect the way people handle conflict, according to the sermon? Why is fear such a barrier to healthy resolution?
([49:23])
3. The sermon mentions that God’s grace goes with us even when relationships are strained or paths diverge. How is this seen in the story of Paul, Barnabas, and John Mark?
([54:18])
4. What does it look like to “strive to be Christlike” in the midst of disagreement, based on the examples and instructions given in the sermon?
([50:21])
---
### Application Questions
1. Think about a time when you experienced conflict with someone close to you (family, friend, or church member). Did you try to avoid it, or did you face it directly? What was the result, and what might you do differently now?
([38:42])
2. The sermon says, “Sometimes the only way around is through.” Is there a conflict in your life right now that you’ve been trying to avoid? What would it look like to go “through” it with honesty and courage?
([40:00])
3. Fear is described as a major barrier to healthy conflict. What specific fears come up for you when you think about addressing disagreements? How can you pray for courage and trust the Spirit to guide you?
([49:23])
4. The story of Paul and Barnabas shows that even when people part ways, God can still use both for His purposes. Is there a relationship in your life that feels broken or strained? How might you look for God’s grace and possible redemption in that situation?
([54:18])
5. The sermon challenges us not to lose sight of God’s greater vision, even in conflict. How can you keep God’s mission and love for others at the center when you’re in the middle of a disagreement?
([56:35])
6. Paul later reconciled with John Mark and even found him helpful for ministry. Is there someone you need to forgive or give a second chance to? What practical step could you take this week toward reconciliation?
([54:18])
7. The early church was not immune to disputes, but the Spirit was still at work. How can you be open to the Spirit’s movement in your own conflicts, and what would it look like to honor God in the way you handle disagreements?
([47:11])
---
Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Invite the group to pray for courage, wisdom, and the presence of the Holy Spirit in any conflicts they are facing, asking God to use even disagreements for His greater purposes.
Devotional
Day 1: The Spirit Moves Through Conflict and Disagreement
Even among faithful believers, conflict is inevitable—even at the height of spiritual success and unity. The story of Paul and Barnabas in Acts 15 reminds us that sharp disagreements can arise even among those who are deeply committed to God’s work. Yet, the Holy Spirit is not hindered by our disputes; instead, God can use these moments to open new doors, deepen relationships, and further His mission. Rather than avoiding or fearing conflict, we are invited to see it as an opportunity for honest conversation, growth, and discernment, trusting that God’s grace is present even when we part ways. [35:55]
Acts 15:36-41 (ESV)
And after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are.” Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark. But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.
Reflection: Think of a recent or ongoing conflict in your life—how might God be inviting you to see this as an opportunity for growth or deeper relationship rather than something to avoid or fear?
Day 2: Not All Conflict Is Sinful—God Can Redeem Disagreement
It’s easy to assume that all conflict is rooted in sin, but Scripture and experience show that not every disagreement is the result of wrongdoing. Sometimes, conflict simply arises from differing perspectives, desires, or priorities. The early church’s decision at the Jerusalem Council created tension, yet it was a Spirit-led moment that opened the way for Gentiles to follow Jesus. God can redeem even our sharpest disputes, using them to shape us, teach us, and further His purposes—if we are willing to walk through them with humility and grace. [46:28]
Acts 15:28-29 (ESV)
“For it has seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us to lay on you no greater burden than these requirements: that you abstain from what has been sacrificed to idols, and from blood, and from what has been strangled, and from sexual immorality. If you keep yourselves from these, you will do well. Farewell.”
Reflection: Is there a disagreement in your life that you have assumed is sinful or shameful? How might you invite God to redeem it and show you what He wants to teach you through it?
Day 3: Do Not Give In to Fear—Let the Spirit Lead You Through
Fear often keeps us from facing conflict honestly and lovingly. When we let fear drive us, we become reactive, self-centered, and unable to listen or learn. Jesus repeatedly tells us not to be afraid, and the Spirit empowers us to move through difficult conversations with courage and love. Instead of avoiding or escalating conflict, we are called to pray for the Spirit’s help, resist fear, and strive to honor God in our interactions—even when agreement seems impossible. [49:23]
Philippians 2:14-15 (ESV)
Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.
Reflection: When you sense fear rising in a difficult conversation, what is one practical way you can pause, pray, and invite the Holy Spirit to help you respond with courage and love?
Day 4: Strive to Be Christlike in Disagreement—Honor God in All Interactions
Our witness to the world is shaped by how we handle conflict, especially with other believers. When we fail to love one another through disagreement, we risk losing credibility and respect, both inside and outside the church. Scripture calls us to be wise, to make the most of every opportunity, and to live at peace with everyone as far as it depends on us. Even when we cannot reach agreement, we can choose to act with grace, humility, and Christlike love, trusting that God’s agenda is bigger than our own comfort or preferences. [52:18]
Romans 12:18 (ESV)
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Reflection: Who is one person you are in conflict with right now? What is one step you can take today to act with Christlike love and humility toward them, regardless of whether you agree?
Day 5: Don’t Write People Off—The Spirit’s Agenda Is Greater Than Our Disagreements
Even after painful separation, God’s grace continues to work in and through us. Paul and Barnabas went separate ways, but the Spirit still moved powerfully in both of their ministries. Later, Paul reconciled with John Mark, who became a valuable partner and the author of the Gospel of Mark. The Spirit’s agenda is to reach the world, and we are called to keep that vision at the center, refusing to write people off or let our opinions limit God’s work. Sometimes, the only way around is through—so face conflict with hope, trusting that God can bring new beginnings from even the hardest moments. [55:28]
Colossians 4:5-6 (ESV)
Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
Reflection: Is there someone you have written off or given up on because of past conflict? How might you open your heart to the possibility of reconciliation or a new beginning, trusting in the Spirit’s greater agenda?
Quotes
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