Embracing Christlike Submission in Marriage

 

Summary

In today's message, we explored the profound and often misunderstood concept of submission within marriage, particularly from a Christian perspective. Submission is not about losing one's voice or identity but about embodying the humility and selflessness that Christ exemplified. As Christian women, submission is a unique way to stand apart from worldly values that emphasize power and independence. Instead, we are called to live in humility, reflecting the core of the Gospel, which is to die to ourselves and live in total submission to God. This foundational commitment to Christ is essential before we can truly understand and practice submission in marriage.

Ephesians 5:22-24 calls wives to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ. This submission is not blind obedience but a reflection of our submission to God. It is crucial to understand that this does not include submitting to sin or ungodly behavior. Our ultimate authority is God, and we must obey Him above all. The more godly a husband is, the easier it is to submit, but even when it is challenging, God uses these situations to shape us into the women He desires us to be.

For those not yet married, it is vital to choose a partner who seeks God's will, as this will make submission more natural. For those in difficult marriages, remember that God knows your situation and trusts you with it. Every trial is an opportunity to grow in faith and character. First Peter 3:1-2 encourages wives to win over their husbands through their behavior, not words, demonstrating purity and reverence.

Ultimately, submission is about honoring God and becoming more like Christ. It is not about losing our influence but using it wisely to support our husbands. When we submit with a humble heart, we reflect Christ's love and sacrifice, which can transform our marriages and draw our husbands closer to God. Our motivation should always be to honor God, trusting that He will work through our obedience to bring about His purposes.

Key Takeaways:

1. Submission as a Reflection of the Gospel: Submission in marriage is a reflection of our submission to God. It is not about losing our identity but about embodying Christ's humility and selflessness. This foundational commitment to Christ is essential before we can truly understand and practice submission in marriage. [25:21]

2. Submission and Authority: Submission does not mean blind obedience, especially when it involves sin. Our ultimate authority is God, and we must obey Him above all. Understanding this helps us navigate the complexities of submission in marriage. [31:07]

3. Choosing a Godly Partner: For those not yet married, choosing a partner who seeks God's will is crucial. A godly partner makes submission more natural and creates a foundation for a Christ-centered marriage. [32:42]

4. Winning Over Through Behavior: First Peter 3:1-2 encourages wives to win over their husbands through their behavior, not words. Demonstrating purity and reverence can have a profound impact on a marriage, reflecting Christ's love. [35:15]

5. Submission as a Path to Christlikeness: Submission is about honoring God and becoming more like Christ. It is not about losing influence but using it wisely to support our husbands. Our motivation should always be to honor God, trusting that He will work through our obedience. [47:27]

Youtube Chapters:

[00:00] - Welcome
[21:47] - Introduction to Love and Marriage
[23:00] - Romance and Submission
[24:03] - The Distinctiveness of Christian Submission
[25:21] - Dying to Self and Living for Christ
[26:31] - Biblical Foundation for Submission
[28:03] - A Personal Story of Submission
[30:39] - Submission in Everything
[31:23] - Authority and Obedience to God
[32:42] - Choosing a Godly Partner
[35:15] - Winning Over Through Behavior
[37:16] - The Impact of a Godly Wife
[39:43] - Respecting Authority
[45:41] - Trusting God's Will
[47:27] - Submission as Christlikeness
[50:14] - The Example of Christ
[54:36] - Baptism and Dying to Self

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
1. Ephesians 5:22-24
2. 1 Peter 3:1-2
3. John 14:15

---

Observation Questions:

1. According to Ephesians 5:22-24, how is the relationship between a wife and her husband compared to the relationship between the church and Christ? [26:31]

2. What does 1 Peter 3:1-2 suggest about the way wives can influence their husbands? [35:15]

3. In John 14:15, what does Jesus say is a demonstration of love for Him? How does this relate to the concept of submission discussed in the sermon? [25:42]

4. How does the sermon describe the worldly view of power and independence compared to the Christian view of submission? [24:49]

---

Interpretation Questions:

1. How does the sermon explain the difference between submission and blind obedience, especially in the context of sin? [31:07]

2. What role does choosing a godly partner play in the ease of practicing submission, according to the sermon? [32:42]

3. How does the sermon suggest that submission can be a reflection of Christ's love and sacrifice? [47:27]

4. In what ways does the sermon suggest that trials in marriage can be opportunities for spiritual growth? [33:46]

---

Application Questions:

1. Reflect on your own marriage or future marriage. How can you embody the humility and selflessness of Christ in your relationship? [25:21]

2. Have you ever faced a situation where you had to choose between submitting to your spouse and obeying God? How did you handle it, and what did you learn from the experience? [31:23]

3. If you are not yet married, what qualities will you look for in a partner to ensure a Christ-centered marriage? [32:42]

4. How can you demonstrate purity and reverence in your behavior to positively influence your spouse, as suggested in 1 Peter 3:1-2? [35:15]

5. Think of a recent disagreement with your spouse. How could you have approached it differently to reflect a Christlike attitude of submission and love? [39:43]

6. How can you ensure that your motivation for submission is to honor God rather than seeking personal gain or change in your spouse? [40:10]

7. What practical steps can you take this week to support your spouse in their role, while still maintaining your own voice and influence in the relationship? [42:03]

Devotional

Day 1: Submission Reflects Our Commitment to Christ
Submission in marriage is a profound reflection of our submission to God. It is not about losing one's identity but about embodying the humility and selflessness that Christ exemplified. This foundational commitment to Christ is essential before we can truly understand and practice submission in marriage. By dying to ourselves and living for Christ, we align our lives with the Gospel's core message. This alignment allows us to stand apart from worldly values that emphasize power and independence, choosing instead to live in humility. [25:21]

"For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 16:25, ESV)

Reflection: In what ways can you embody Christ's humility and selflessness in your marriage or relationships today?


Day 2: Submission and Godly Authority
Submission does not mean blind obedience, especially when it involves sin. Our ultimate authority is God, and we must obey Him above all. Understanding this helps us navigate the complexities of submission in marriage. It is crucial to recognize that submission is not about condoning ungodly behavior but about reflecting our submission to God. The more godly a husband is, the easier it is to submit, but even when it is challenging, God uses these situations to shape us into the people He desires us to be. [31:07]

"Peter and the apostles answered, 'We must obey God rather than men.'" (Acts 5:29, ESV)

Reflection: Is there an area in your life where you need to prioritize obedience to God over human expectations?


Day 3: Choosing a Partner Who Seeks God's Will
For those not yet married, choosing a partner who seeks God's will is crucial. A godly partner makes submission more natural and creates a foundation for a Christ-centered marriage. This choice is vital as it influences the spiritual direction of the relationship. When both partners are committed to seeking God's will, it fosters an environment where submission is understood as mutual respect and love, reflecting the relationship between Christ and the Church. [32:42]

"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14, ESV)

Reflection: What qualities are you looking for in a partner that align with seeking God's will?


Day 4: Winning Over Through Godly Behavior
First Peter 3:1-2 encourages wives to win over their husbands through their behavior, not words. Demonstrating purity and reverence can have a profound impact on a marriage, reflecting Christ's love. This approach emphasizes the power of actions over words, showing that a life lived in accordance with God's principles can influence others positively. It is a call to live out one's faith authentically, allowing one's conduct to speak volumes about their commitment to God. [35:15]

"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct." (1 Peter 3:1-2, ESV)

Reflection: How can your actions today reflect Christ's love and influence those around you?


Day 5: Submission as a Path to Christlikeness
Submission is about honoring God and becoming more like Christ. It is not about losing influence but using it wisely to support our husbands. Our motivation should always be to honor God, trusting that He will work through our obedience to bring about His purposes. This perspective transforms submission from a duty into a spiritual discipline that shapes us into the image of Christ, fostering a deeper relationship with God and our spouse. [47:27]

"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men." (Philippians 2:5-7, ESV)

Reflection: In what ways can you use your influence to support and uplift your spouse or those around you today?

Quotes



Submission is actually really exciting to me. I love talking about it because I feel like it's one of the few distinct ways that we as Christian women can really stand apart from the world. It's one of the few ways that causes other people to look at us and look at our marriages and say why would that woman treat her husband in that way? [00:24:03]

We cannot forget that the very core of the Gospel is to die to ourselves. I think it bears repeating, we have to die to ourselves and we have to first live in total submission to God. If you don't first have a commitment to Christ, a respect for the word of God, a desire to really obey all that he has commanded, you really can't even move on to any other subject. [00:25:21]

When it says in everything, it is not talking about the times when your husband is asking you to sin. We are all under the ultimate umbrella of God's Authority, our husbands included, and anytime that your husband steps outside of that umbrella of authority, whether it be to cheat on your tax return or to engage in pornography or to get drunk on the weekend, I don't know what it may be, but anytime he steps outside of God's ultimate Authority, that's when you are able to say honey as much as I love and respect you and want to honor you, I must obey God rather than man. [00:31:23]

If you see a man who is making decisions like we talked about a couple weeks ago based on the will of God, the word of God, you see Integrity in his life and his walk with Christ, then you're going to know that it will at least be easier to come under his leadership. It will not always be easy, I'm not trying to paint that picture, but it will be easier. [00:32:42]

I have enough faith for the both of us. I really do feel like I wish I could look you in the eyes and infuse my faith and My Hope into you that God does know exactly what it's like to be married to your husband and he also knows the beautiful woman of God that you can become regardless of how Godly or ungodly he is. [00:35:15]

Wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the Purity and reverence of your lives. I'm going to read it again: wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the Purity and reverence of your lives. [00:35:15]

The great thing about doing what's right even when no one else is or in spite of someone else's actions is that first and foremost you look the most like Christ. Like Francis said, is that your ultimate goal? Because this is one of the biggest opportunities that God gives to us to look like Christ is when someone does not deserve our kindness, our love, our affection, and we give it to them anyway. [00:37:16]

God has given them a position of authority over us and we need to respect that position even when the person does not deserve it. I think sometimes that can help us as ladies wrap our minds around this because it's very easy to say well, he doesn't deserve respect, he's this kind of a person and he's that kind of a person, and I realize that, but God has placed him in a position of authority over you. [00:39:43]

Our motivation is always a need to honor God, a need to be holy, it's a need to be more and more like Christ that will motivate us every time if that's what we desire, not them. Because there will be times when yeah, he's being pretty cool and nice and then I'm pretty motivated to be cool and nice, but if we keep our ultimate motivation, our ultimate goal where it should be on the author and perfector of our faith, that will motivate us every time. [00:45:41]

I feel like God has just kind of pulled me back a little bit and said don't you realize that it's so much more about just letting go and serving and being like Christ and dying to yourself. This is stuff I've called all of you as my Believers to do and to be. I want you all to act like Christ, I want you all to deny yourselves, I want you all to serve one another and to put on love above all else, to be humble and to be servants and just to be Christ. [00:47:27]

Jesus was sitting on a throne, think about this, in heaven as the creator of the whole universe and he leaves this place where all these millions of angels are worshiping him, adoring him. He leaves the Comforts of that and comes down to this tiny planet that's on this universe and takes the form of a man. So he goes from that to this, okay, and not just the form of a man but the form of a servant going around washing people's feet, healing people, taking care of the sick, loving them, even loving the people that were going to betray him. [00:50:14]

I want you to understand this call to follow Jesus every week. I mean this morning we had just the most beautiful baptisms last service, but it was this real picture of people saying you know what, I'm done being, that's a picture of baptism is when you join yourself with Jesus Christ when you decide to follow Jesus. It's like what Lisa says, you're dying to yourself, you're saying you know what, I'm done being Francis Chan and I'm going to rise up, I'm coming out of this water filled with the Holy Spirit and that spirit of God is going to help me to walk like Jesus walked. [00:54:36]

Chatbot

  • I'm an AI bot trained specifically on the sermon from Dec 04, 2014. Do you have any questions about it?

Transcript
What was the most surprising thing in this sermon?
Were there any personal stories shared?