Embracing Brokenness: Healing Through Compassion and Community
Summary
The pain of broken relationships—whether in marriage, family, or church—runs deep and leaves lasting scars. Statistics show that divorce and family breakdown are not only common but have profound effects on children and adults alike. No one sets out to hurt those they love, yet even with the best intentions, we often wound each other. This is why God uses the imagery of marriage and family to describe our relationship with Him and with each other: these are the most intimate, vulnerable, and impactful connections we have. When these relationships are fractured, the pain is sharper and the consequences more enduring.
Within the church, we must recognize that we are a body made up of broken parts. Our individual health—spiritually, emotionally, and relationally—affects the whole. Just as a small injury can cause distress throughout the body, so too can the wounds we inflict on one another ripple through the entire community. We often underestimate our capacity to hurt others, and sometimes we are in denial about the pain we cause. Yet, to be a community that truly helps the hurting, we must first acknowledge our own brokenness and the reality that we all fall short.
Empathy and responsibility are essential. It is difficult to take full ownership of our actions, and even harder to genuinely empathize with the pain of those we have hurt. Too often, when someone shares their pain, our instinct is to defend ourselves, the church, or even God, rather than simply listening and validating their experience. Jesus, however, calls us to defend the wounded, not the wounder, and to act with compassion even when the victim is not blameless. Compassion does not require that someone be entirely innocent; it requires that we share in their burdens and seek their healing.
Jesus consistently sought out those who were left behind, marginalized, or wounded by the very people who claimed to represent God. He celebrated the return of the prodigal, dined with outcasts, and told stories that challenged the self-righteous to care for the broken. Our calling is to do the same: to focus on those who are hurting, to bring them back into the fold, and to ensure that no one feels like an unnecessary or unwanted part of the body. We must resist the urge to become an autoimmune system that attacks itself, and instead become a community marked by humility, empathy, and relentless compassion.
Key Takeaways
- Brokenness is Universal and Interconnected
No one is immune to brokenness; we are all part of a body made up of flawed, hurting people. Our individual wounds and health affect the entire community, just as a single injury can impact the whole body. Recognizing this interconnectedness should humble us and motivate us to care for one another with greater sensitivity and grace. [15:09]
- Empathy and Ownership are Non-Negotiable
It is not enough to simply acknowledge that hurt exists; we must take full responsibility for the pain we cause and actively seek to understand the suffering of others. True empathy means putting ourselves in another’s place, even when it is uncomfortable or when we feel justified in our actions. This is the path to genuine healing and reconciliation within the church and our families. [09:20]
- Defend the Wounded, Not the Wounder
When someone shares their pain, our first response should not be to defend ourselves, the church, or to rationalize the actions of those who caused harm. Instead, we are called to stand with the wounded, validate their experience, and offer sincere apologies and support. Jesus reserved his strongest words for those who, in their self-righteousness, kept others from experiencing God’s love and healing. [24:16]
- Compassion Does Not Require Innocence
We often look for reasons to withhold compassion, scrutinizing whether someone “deserves” our help or empathy. Yet, Jesus calls us to share in each other’s burdens regardless of blame, and to err on the side of generosity and mercy. The real test of Christlike love is our willingness to help those who may not have done everything right, just as God extends grace to us in our own failures. [34:10]
- Pursue the Marginalized and Left Behind
Jesus consistently sought out those who were overlooked, alienated, or wounded by religious systems. Our calling is to do the same: to leave the comfort of the ninety-nine and go after the one who is lost, hurting, or ready to give up. Every person, no matter how disconnected or broken, is essential to the health and mission of the body, and we must do all we can to bring them back into loving community. [37:18]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[01:00] - The Reality and Impact of Divorce
[03:00] - The Deep Wounds of Family and Church
[05:37] - Church Hurt and Denial
[07:07] - Why People Leave Church
[07:56] - The Challenge of Ownership and Empathy
[09:20] - Responsibility Within the Body
[12:11] - The Church as a Broken Body
[15:09] - Our Health Affects the Whole
[17:35] - No One is More Righteous
[19:59] - Defending the Wounded
[24:16] - Jesus’ Rebuke of Religious Hypocrisy
[34:10] - Compassion Without Qualification
[35:52] - The Prodigal Son and the Older Brother
[37:18] - Jesus Seeks the Marginalized
[45:50] - A Prayer for the Wounded
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide
---
### Bible Reading
1. Romans 12:15
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”
2. 1 Corinthians 12:15-26
(Selected)
“If the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’ it would not for that reason stop being part of the body... If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.”
3. Luke 15:4-7
“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?... I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”
---
### Observation Questions
1. In Romans 12:15, what two types of experiences does Paul tell the church to share with each other?
(See [09:20])
2. According to 1 Corinthians 12, what happens to the whole body when one part is hurting or unhealthy?
(See [15:09])
3. In the story of the lost sheep (Luke 15), what does the shepherd do when one sheep is missing, and how does he respond when he finds it?
(See [37:18])
4. The sermon mentioned that Jesus often went after those who were left behind or wounded by religious people. What are some examples from the sermon or the Bible where Jesus did this?
(See [37:18])
---
### Interpretation Questions
1. Why do you think Paul commands the church to “mourn with those who mourn” and not just “rejoice with those who rejoice”? What does this reveal about the kind of community God wants?
(See [09:20])
2. The sermon says, “Our health determines the health of the whole body.” How does this idea challenge the way we think about our personal struggles or hurts in the context of church life?
(See [15:09])
3. The pastor said, “Jesus calls us to defend the wounded, not the wounder.” What does this mean in practical terms for how we respond when someone shares their pain with us?
(See [24:16])
4. In the parable of the lost sheep, the shepherd leaves the ninety-nine to find the one. What does this say about God’s priorities, and how should that shape the way we treat people who feel disconnected or hurt?
(See [37:18])
---
### Application Questions
1. The sermon pointed out that we often underestimate our capacity to hurt others, even with good intentions. Can you think of a time when you may have hurt someone without realizing it? How did you respond when you found out?
(See [05:37])
2. When someone shares their pain or hurt with you, is your first instinct to listen and empathize, or to defend yourself or the church? What would it look like to “validate their experience” instead?
(See [21:57])
3. The pastor said, “Compassion does not require that someone be entirely innocent.” Is there someone in your life who is hurting, but you’ve been hesitant to show compassion because you think they’re partly to blame? What might it look like to show them Christlike love anyway?
(See [34:10])
4. The sermon described the church as a body made up of broken parts, and that “your health makes me healthy and my health hopefully makes you healthy.” How can you take responsibility for your own spiritual and emotional health for the sake of the whole church?
(See [17:35])
5. Jesus left the ninety-nine to go after the one who was lost or hurting. Who is someone in your life, family, or church who might feel left behind or disconnected? What is one practical step you could take this week to reach out to them?
(See [37:18])
6. The pastor shared a story about someone who unintentionally hurt him during a difficult season. Have you ever felt misunderstood or judged by someone in church? How did it affect your connection to the community, and what helped (or would have helped) you heal?
(See [41:00])
7. The sermon challenged us to “err on the side of generosity and mercy.” What is one area of your life where you could be more generous with empathy, forgiveness, or practical help, even if it feels risky?
(See [34:10])
---
Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Invite the group to pray for humility, empathy, and courage to be a community that welcomes, heals, and restores the broken—starting with ourselves.
Devotional
Day 1: Empathy and Shared Sorrow in the Body of Christ
To be a church that truly helps those who hurt, we must first acknowledge the pain we cause and learn to empathize deeply with others. When someone is hurting, it is not enough to simply recognize their pain; we are called to feel it with them, to sit in their sorrow, and to let their burdens become our own. This kind of empathy is not natural or easy—it requires intentionality and humility, a willingness to set aside our own comfort and enter into the suffering of another. In doing so, we reflect the heart of Christ, who calls us to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep, building a community where no one suffers alone. [09:20]
Romans 12:15 (ESV)
"Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep."
Reflection: Who in your life is hurting right now, and how can you intentionally enter into their pain this week—perhaps through a call, a visit, or a simple act of kindness that lets them know they are not alone?
Day 2: The Church as a Broken Body Made of Broken Parts
Every member of the church is interconnected, and the health of one affects the health of all. Just as a small injury can impact the entire physical body, so too can the wounds and struggles of one person affect the whole church community. It is easy to underestimate the impact we have on each other, but God’s design is that we are not isolated islands—we are a body, and our spiritual, emotional, and relational health is bound together. Recognizing our own brokenness and the brokenness of others is the first step toward humility, compassion, and true unity in Christ. [17:35]
1 Corinthians 12:15-16 (ESV)
"If the foot should say, 'Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,' that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, 'Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,' that would not make it any less a part of the body."
Reflection: In what ways have you underestimated your impact on the church body, and how might you take responsibility for contributing to the health and unity of your community this week?
Day 3: Defending the Wounded, Not the Wounder
When someone is hurt, especially by the church or its leaders, our first instinct may be to explain, defend, or rationalize the actions of those who caused the pain. But true compassion means standing with the wounded, validating their experience, and refusing to minimize or excuse the harm done. Jesus reserved his strongest words for those who, in their self-righteousness, kept others from the kingdom of God. Our calling is not to defend the reputation of the church or its leaders, but to defend and care for those who have been wounded, ensuring that our actions never become a barrier to someone’s healing or return to God. [24:16]
Matthew 23:13-14 (ESV)
"But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people's faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you devour widows' houses and for a pretense you make long prayers; therefore you will receive the greater condemnation."
Reflection: Is there someone whose pain you have minimized or rationalized? How can you offer them a sincere apology or a listening ear, without trying to explain away their hurt?
Day 4: Compassion Does Not Require Blame-Free Victims
Compassion and empathy are not reserved only for those who are completely innocent or blameless; they are the calling of every follower of Christ, regardless of the circumstances. We are all broken, and none of us are guilt-free, yet Jesus commands us to carry each other’s burdens and to help those in need without requiring them to prove their worthiness. The real work of Christ is to help carry a problem that isn’t yours, to extend grace even when you’re not sure it’s deserved, and to err on the side of generosity and mercy. In doing so, we fulfill the law of Christ and reflect the heart of the Father, who celebrates the return of the prodigal and lifts up the broken. [34:10]
Galatians 6:2-5 (ESV)
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load."
Reflection: Is there someone you have withheld compassion from because you felt they were partly to blame for their situation? What would it look like to help carry their burden anyway?
Day 5: Seeking Out and Restoring the Left Behind
Jesus always sought out those who were left behind, marginalized, or wounded by others—He left the ninety-nine to find the one lost sheep. In the same way, we are called to notice and pursue those who feel disconnected, overlooked, or ready to give up on faith or community. Every person matters deeply to God, and no one is expendable or unnecessary in the body of Christ. Our mission is to create a place where the hurting, the misunderstood, and the misfits are welcomed, valued, and restored, knowing that without them, we are less whole. [37:18]
Luke 15:4-6 (ESV)
"What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.'"
Reflection: Who in your church or community might be feeling left behind or disconnected? What is one concrete step you can take this week to reach out and help restore them to the fold?
Quotes
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