Embracing Biblical Truths in Marriage for Eternity

 

Summary

In "Marriage In Light of Eternity (Part 2)," Francis and Lisa Chan explore the enduring principles of marriage as outlined in the Bible, emphasizing the importance of aligning marital relationships with eternal truths. They address the contemporary challenges faced by couples in adhering to scriptural teachings, particularly in a culture that often contradicts or dismisses these ancient guidelines.

Francis Chan begins by acknowledging the societal shift away from traditional biblical interpretations of marriage roles. He praises the church community for upholding the Bible's teachings, emphasizing that the church should be a pillar of truth. He warns against the danger of being ashamed of biblical teachings, especially in light of Christ's imminent return, and stresses the importance of pursuing scriptural truths without apology.

Chan reflects on his personal growth, recognizing that his natural inclinations as a man were not always in line with scriptural teachings. He admits that his understanding of God and his role as a husband has been profoundly shaped by the Bible, which calls for honor, gentleness, and humility—qualities exemplified by Jesus. He shares that his ultimate goal in life has shifted from seeking a perfect family or security to becoming more like Christ.

Lisa Chan shares her journey of sanctification through marriage, recounting moments of intense anger and frustration. She describes an instance where, in the midst of a heated argument, she turned to prayer, illustrating the transformative power of crying out to God in moments of strife. She emphasizes the importance of being right with God and how this desire has been the driving force behind her actions and reactions within her marriage.

The Chans discuss the biblical passage from Ephesians 5, which speaks to the roles of husbands and wives. Francis Chan admits to previously feeling embarrassed when reading verses about wives submitting to their husbands, but he now embraces these scriptures without hesitation. He encourages husbands to lead their families with love and responsibility, as Christ leads the church. He also addresses the concept of the "weaker vessel," explaining that it is not about inferiority but about honoring and protecting the inherent differences between men and women.

The Chans highlight the importance of humility before God's word and the need to resist the influence of worldly lies. They call for a reevaluation of priorities, urging individuals to seek a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God's sight. They challenge the cultural obsession with external appearance, advocating for a focus on the hidden person of the heart.

In their closing prayer, the Chans ask for a spirit of endurance and encouragement, praying for the grace to imitate Christ's humility. They express a desire for believers to hold fast to the word of God and to grow in intimacy with the Lord, regardless of societal pressures or personal fatigue.

Key Takeaways:

- The enduring nature of biblical teachings on marriage serves as a reminder that truth is not subject to cultural shifts or societal evolution. The Chans emphasize the church's role in upholding these truths, despite the temptation to conform to modern reinterpretations or dismissals of scripture. This steadfastness is particularly crucial as believers anticipate Christ's return, where fidelity to His teachings will be paramount. [50:20]

- Personal transformation through scriptural engagement is a recurring theme. Francis Chan's reflection on his natural tendencies versus the biblical call to gentleness and honor demonstrates the power of scripture to reshape one's character and priorities. The goal of becoming like Christ transcends cultural ideals of success or familial perfection, redirecting focus towards spiritual maturity and Christlikeness. [52:17]

- The power of prayer in the midst of marital conflict is vividly illustrated by Lisa Chan's experience. Turning to God in a moment of intense anger not only diffused the situation but also served as a testament to the sufficiency of God's grace. This act of crying out to God is a practical application of faith that can lead to peace and reconciliation. [38:29]

- The Chans' discussion of Ephesians 5 challenges believers to embrace biblical instructions on marriage without shame. The call for wives to submit and husbands to love sacrificially reflects a divine order that, when followed, can lead to a harmonious and God-honoring marriage. This requires a countercultural courage to uphold scriptural truths in the face of potential criticism or misunderstanding. [54:10]

- The contrast between worldly values and God's standards is starkly presented in the Chans' critique of society's focus on external adornment. They advocate for the cultivation of inner beauty, characterized by a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's eyes. This pursuit of inner transformation aligns with the biblical exhortation to prioritize eternal virtues over fleeting physical attractiveness. [46:10]

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. Ephesians 5:22-33 (ESV)
> Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

2. 1 Peter 3:1-7 (ESV)
> Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

#### Observation Questions
1. What does Ephesians 5:22-33 say about the roles of husbands and wives in marriage?
2. According to 1 Peter 3:1-7, what qualities are considered precious in God's sight for women?
3. How does Francis Chan describe his initial feelings towards the biblical teaching on wives submitting to their husbands? ([54:10])
4. What example does Lisa Chan give to illustrate the power of prayer in the midst of marital conflict? ([38:29])

#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the biblical instruction for wives to submit to their husbands and husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church challenge contemporary cultural views on marriage? ([54:10])
2. In what ways does Francis Chan's personal growth reflect the transformative power of scripture in shaping one's character and priorities? ([52:17])
3. How does Lisa Chan's experience of turning to prayer during a heated argument demonstrate the sufficiency of God's grace in resolving conflicts? ([38:29])
4. What does it mean to have a "gentle and quiet spirit" and why is it considered precious in God's sight according to 1 Peter 3:4? ([46:10])

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your own marriage or relationships. How can you align your actions and attitudes more closely with the biblical teachings on marriage roles as described in Ephesians 5:22-33? ([54:10])
2. Think about a recent conflict you had with your spouse or a close family member. How might turning to prayer in that moment have changed the outcome? ([38:29])
3. In what ways can you cultivate a "gentle and quiet spirit" in your daily interactions? What specific steps can you take this week to focus on inner beauty rather than external appearance? ([46:10])
4. How can you, as a husband, show honor and understanding to your wife, recognizing her as a "weaker vessel" in a way that is respectful and loving? ([48:14])
5. For those who feel embarrassed or hesitant about certain biblical teachings, how can you find the courage to uphold and embrace these truths in your life and community? ([54:10])
6. How can you shift your ultimate life goal from seeking personal or familial perfection to becoming more like Christ, as Francis Chan describes? ([52:17])
7. Identify one area in your marriage or relationship where you can practice humility and gentleness this week. How will you hold yourself accountable to this commitment? ([41:48])

Devotional

Day 1: Truth Transcends Cultural Shifts
The enduring nature of biblical teachings on marriage reminds us that truth remains constant, even as society evolves. As believers, we are called to uphold these truths, particularly as we anticipate Christ's return. This steadfastness in the face of cultural shifts is a testament to our faith and commitment to God's word. [50:20]

James 1:17 - "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."
Reflection: How can you uphold biblical truths in your marriage or relationships, even when they seem countercultural?

Day 2: Transformation Through Scripture
Scripture has the power to reshape our character and priorities, guiding us to embody gentleness, honor, and humility like Christ. This transformation is a journey that challenges our natural inclinations and redirects our focus towards spiritual maturity and Christlikeness. [52:17]

Romans 12:2 - "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
Reflection: What natural tendencies do you need to surrender to God to become more Christlike in your character and relationships?

Day 3: Prayer's Power in Conflict
In moments of marital strife, turning to prayer can lead to peace and reconciliation. This act of crying out to God is a practical application of faith that can transform anger into grace and understanding within the relationship. [38:29]

Philippians 4:6-7 - "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Reflection: Recall a recent conflict where you could have turned to prayer. How might prayer have changed the outcome?

Day 4: Embracing Divine Order in Marriage
The divine order outlined in Ephesians 5 calls for wives to submit and husbands to love sacrificially. Embracing these roles without shame can lead to a harmonious and God-honoring marriage, reflecting Christ's love for the church. [54:10]

1 Peter 3:7 - "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."
Reflection: How can you more fully embrace your role in marriage as outlined in Ephesians 5, and what practical steps can you take to do so?

Day 5: Inner Beauty Over Worldly Values
The pursuit of inner beauty, characterized by a gentle and quiet spirit, is of great worth in God's eyes. This stands in stark contrast to society's focus on external appearance, challenging us to cultivate eternal virtues over fleeting physical attractiveness. [46:10]

1 Peter 3:3-4 - "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."
Reflection: In what ways can you focus more on developing the hidden person of the heart rather than conforming to societal pressures regarding appearance?

Quotes

1) "I naturally wouldn't have thought of God that way... I would naturally think of Lisa... why can't you do this... But scripture says no, honor, be like Jesus and Jesus was gentle and lowly." [52:17] (Download)

2) "I want to end strong and I want to... be more intimate with you Lord than ever... I don't want to sit back on Wow we've had some great times haven't we." [59:31] (Download)

3) "I'm just saying and God's word I'm not going to back off on it because the world is more against it now... you preach the word of God you will be canceled." [01:00:42] (Download)

4) "There is something very beautiful and precious about women who will conduct themselves with a gentle and quiet spirit... God created men and women... we need to celebrate that and embrace it." [44:24] (Download)

5) "We're so about external adornment... God is like when's the last time you adorned the inside like Adorn the hidden person of the heart... it's precious to the Lord." [46:10] (Download)

6) "I want God to look at me and see me as beautiful... the gentle and quiet Spirit... is very precious in God's sight." [47:06] (Download)

7) "Husbands live with your wives in an understanding way showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel... there's a way of showing honor." [48:14] (Download)

8) "I cried out to the Lord and... I just start praying like God you have to help us right now we need your grace... that's only the grace of God." [38:29] (Download)

9) "I can't live without a close relationship with God... I can't live just the brevity of life I'm just like God I just always want to be right with you." [32:57] (Download)

10) "I am to be the head of the home and God created me to do this and I will be this and I will do this... but I don't feel like it a lot of times I'm tired." [58:51] (Download)

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Transcript
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