Embracing Authentic Fatherhood: Strength, Grace, and Community

 

Summary

Fatherhood is a calling that carries both great joy and deep responsibility, and it’s a role that is often misunderstood or even maligned in our culture. Today, we celebrate the men in our lives—fathers, grandfathers, spiritual fathers, and mentors—recognizing that while none of us are perfect, God’s grace is more than enough to cover our shortcomings. Our stories are filled with both triumphs and mistakes, but what matters most is how we allow God to shape us through each season.

Masculinity, as God designed it, is not toxic or harmful. While people can act in toxic ways, true manhood is about strength, courage, and a willingness to love and serve others. The world often swings between extremes, but God calls us to a balanced, authentic life. David’s charge to Solomon—“Be strong, act like a man, and obey God”—reminds us that real strength is found in both courage and humility, in fighting battles and in worshiping with abandon. David was a warrior and a worshiper, a man after God’s own heart, and his life shows us that being a man means being fully alive to God, not suppressing our emotions or hiding our failures.

We are shaped by the generations before us, but we are not bound by their limitations. God’s grace can break cycles of pain and set new legacies in motion. Our obedience to God includes believing what He says about us, receiving His forgiveness, and refusing to live in the shadow of past mistakes. There is a time to get up, wash off the ashes, and move forward in faith.

God has designed us for relationship and community. We need encouragement, and we need to give it as well. Isolation is a choice, and it’s not God’s best for us. Like Moses, who needed Aaron and Hur to hold up his arms, we need others to stand with us in our battles. We are called to live intentionally, to think generationally, and to invest in those coming after us. Whether we see the fruit of our efforts or not, our role is to plant seeds, speak life, and trust God with the harvest.

Today, let’s honor the men among us, encourage one another, and step into the new season God has for us. It’s never too late to start living with purpose, to receive God’s love, and to become the fathers and mentors He’s called us to be.

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Key Takeaways

- Authentic Masculinity Reflects God’s Heart
True masculinity is not about suppressing emotions or projecting a tough exterior. It’s about being strong and courageous, but also tender, humble, and open to God. David’s life shows that a man can be both a mighty warrior and a passionate worshiper, fully alive to God and others. This balance is what God desires for every man, and it’s what brings life to families and communities. [17:32]

- God’s Grace Redeems Our Mistakes and Failures
No one is perfect, and every father or leader has moments they regret. The key is not to remain stuck in shame or self-condemnation, but to receive God’s forgiveness and move forward. Like David, who repented and then rose to worship, we are called to let go of the past and embrace the newness God offers, trusting that He can turn our messes into something beautiful. [20:07]

- Generational Impact Requires Intentional Living
Our choices today shape the legacy we leave for future generations. David’s willingness to prepare for Solomon’s success, even when he couldn’t fulfill his own dream, models a generational mindset. We are called to plant seeds, invest in others, and trust God with the outcome, knowing that some of our greatest contributions may be realized in the lives of those who come after us. [25:45]

- Community and Vulnerability Are Essential for Growth
God never intended for us to walk alone. We need relationships where we can both give and receive encouragement, correction, and support. Like Moses needing Aaron and Hur, we all have moments when we need others to lift our arms. Choosing to open up, seek out mentors, and invest in others is vital for spiritual health and maturity. [28:54]

- It’s Never Too Late to Start Again or Make a Difference
No matter how many mistakes we’ve made or how much time has passed, God’s invitation to live with purpose and intentionality remains open. Whether as fathers, mentors, or friends, we can always begin anew—encouraging others, speaking life, and stepping into the roles God has for us. Our value is not in our perfection, but in our willingness to keep growing and loving. [36:35]

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Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:30] - Donuts and Father’s Day Opener
[01:43] - A Not-So-Fine Parenting Moment
[05:14] - Dads on Duty: Changing a School
[07:45] - The Power of a Father’s Presence
[08:24] - Solomon’s Wisdom from David
[09:41] - David’s Final Charge to Solomon
[11:00] - Examples of Strength and Courage
[14:54] - What Does It Mean to Be a Man?
[16:16] - Generational Growth and God’s Grace
[17:32] - David: Warrior and Worshiper
[18:52] - The Danger of Complacency
[20:07] - Receiving God’s Forgiveness
[23:14] - Seasons of Activation and Purpose
[25:45] - Thinking Generationally
[28:54] - The Need for Encouragement and Community
[32:40] - Living with Intentionality
[36:35] - It’s Never Too Late
[38:08] - Seeing the Gift in Each Other
[42:16] - A Father’s Blessing and Closing Prayer

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: “Fatherhood, Authentic Masculinity, and Generational Impact”

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### Bible Reading

1. Proverbs 4:1-7
“Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching. For I too was a son to my father, still tender, and cherished by my mother. Then he taught me, and he said to me, ‘Take hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands, and you will live. Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them.’”

2. 1 Kings 2:1-4
“When the time drew near for David to die, he gave a charge to Solomon his son. ‘I am about to go the way of all the earth,’ he said. ‘So be strong, act like a man, and observe what the Lord your God requires: Walk in obedience to him, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and regulations, as written in the Law of Moses. Do this so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go…’”

3. 2 Samuel 12:20
“Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.”

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### Observation Questions

1. In Proverbs 4, what does Solomon say he received from his father, and how does he describe the importance of those teachings? ([08:24])
2. According to David’s final charge to Solomon in 1 Kings 2, what are the specific instructions David gives about being a man and following God? ([09:41])
3. After David’s failure with Bathsheba, what actions does he take in 2 Samuel 12:20, and what does this show about his response to failure? ([20:07])
4. The sermon mentions the story of Moses needing Aaron and Hur to hold up his arms. What does this story illustrate about the need for community and support? ([28:54])

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### Interpretation Questions

1. Why do you think David’s advice to Solomon included both “be strong” and “act like a man” alongside “obey God”? What does this combination suggest about biblical masculinity? ([09:41])
2. The sermon talks about how God’s grace can break cycles from previous generations. How does this idea challenge or encourage someone who feels stuck because of their family history? ([16:16])
3. David’s response after his failure was to get up, clean himself, and worship. What does this teach about how to handle regret and shame in our own lives? ([20:07])
4. The sermon highlights the importance of both giving and receiving encouragement in community. Why is it sometimes hard to receive encouragement, and what might be the consequences of always trying to “go it alone”? ([27:34])

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### Application Questions

1. The sermon says, “True masculinity is not about suppressing emotions or projecting a tough exterior.” Are there ways you’ve felt pressure to hide your emotions? How could you practice being more open and authentic this week? ([15:35])
2. David was both a warrior and a worshiper. Which side comes more naturally to you—strength/courage or humility/worship? What’s one step you could take to grow in the area that’s harder for you? ([17:32])
3. Is there a past mistake or failure that you’re still holding onto, even though you’ve asked God for forgiveness? What would it look like for you to “get up, wash off the ashes, and move forward in faith” like David did? ([20:07])
4. The sermon says, “We are shaped by the generations before us, but we are not bound by their limitations.” Are there any negative patterns from your family or past that you want to break? What’s one practical way you can start a new legacy? ([16:16])
5. Who are the “Aarons and Hurs” in your life—people who support you when you’re tired or struggling? If you don’t have anyone like that, what’s one step you could take to build those relationships? ([28:54])
6. The sermon encourages us to “think generationally” and invest in others, even if we don’t see the results. Is there someone younger or less experienced you could encourage or mentor this month? What’s a simple way to start? ([25:45])
7. “It’s never too late to start again or make a difference.” Is there a role—father, mentor, encourager—that you feel God is inviting you to step into now, even if you feel unqualified or it’s later in life? What’s holding you back, and what’s one thing you could do this week to move forward? ([36:35])

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Closing Thought:
Let’s honor the men among us, encourage one another, and step into the new season God has for us. Whether you’re a father, mentor, or friend, God’s grace is enough for you to live with purpose and make a difference—starting today.

Devotional

Day 1: The Power of a Father's Presence and Influence
A father's presence can transform environments, bring peace, and foster a sense of safety and belonging. When men show up with love, encouragement, and intentionality, their influence can shift the atmosphere, as seen in the story of the dads who volunteered at a troubled school and brought about real change. This presence is not about dominance or control, but about being available, learning names, sharing laughter, and offering support. The simple act of showing up, being present, and caring deeply can have a profound impact on those around you, especially the next generation. [07:40]

Proverbs 4:1-6 (ESV)
Hear, O sons, a father's instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching. When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, he taught me and said to me, "Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live. Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth. Do not forsake her, and she will keep you; love her, and she will guard you."

Reflection: Who in your life needs your presence and encouragement today, and what is one practical way you can intentionally show up for them this week?


Day 2: Strength, Courage, and Authentic Manhood
True strength and courage are not just about physical might or bravado, but about living with integrity, obedience, and authenticity before God. David's charge to Solomon was to "be strong, act like a man, and observe what the Lord your God requires," reminding us that real manhood is found in walking faithfully, being courageous in the face of challenges, and living out God's commands. This includes embracing both the warrior and the worshiper within, being willing to fight battles and also to express deep emotion and devotion to God. [10:22]

1 Kings 2:1-4 (ESV)
When David's time to die drew near, he commanded Solomon his son, saying, "I am about to go the way of all the earth. Be strong, and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the Lord your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes, his commandments, his rules, and his testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn, that the Lord may establish his word that he spoke concerning me, saying, 'If your sons pay close attention to their way, to walk before me in faithfulness with all their heart and with all their soul, you shall not lack a man on the throne of Israel.'"

Reflection: What does authentic strength and courage look like for you right now, and how can you step into it in your relationship with God and others?


Day 3: Grace After Failure—Letting Go of the Past
God’s grace is greater than our failures, and He calls us to move beyond our past mistakes. Like David, who after his sin and repentance rose up, washed, and worshiped, we are invited to receive God’s forgiveness and not remain stuck in shame or regret. The Lord remembers our sins no more, and part of our obedience is to align our thinking with His, letting His grace define our identity rather than our shortcomings. It is never too late to start again, to be renewed, and to walk forward in freedom. [20:47]

2 Samuel 12:20 (ESV)
Then David arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his clothes. And he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. He then went to his own house. And when he asked, they set food before him, and he ate.

Reflection: Is there a past mistake or regret you are still holding onto? What would it look like to let God’s grace wash over you and move forward today?


Day 4: The Importance of Generational Vision and Intentional Living
Living with a generational mindset means sowing seeds and building for a future you may never fully see, trusting God with the harvest. David prepared for Solomon to build the temple, even though he would not see it completed himself, modeling how we can invest in the next generation. Children, spiritual or natural, are a heritage from the Lord, and our intentionality in relationships, encouragement, and mentorship can shape destinies far beyond our own lives. [25:45]

Psalm 127:3-5 (ESV)
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Reflection: What is one way you can intentionally invest in the next generation—whether your own children or someone you can mentor—this week?


Day 5: The Necessity of Community and Mutual Encouragement
We are not meant to walk alone; God designed us for relationship, both to give and receive encouragement. Like Moses, who needed Aaron and Hur to hold up his arms, we all need others to support us in times of weakness, and we are called to be that support for others as well. Choosing isolation is a choice, but stepping into community brings healing, strength, and the ability to both pour into others and be poured into. Healthy relationships are a two-way street, and living intentionally means seeking out both mentors and those we can encourage. [28:54]

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (ESV)
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Reflection: Who are the “Aarons and Hurs” in your life, and who might need you to come alongside them this week? How can you take a step toward deeper community today?

Quotes

It's amazing the presence of a father or or the presence of men when they show up it's it's amazing um and and I get it like so it it's just amazing you know how many of you know one of the girls mentioned in the interview she says you know they have this look you you know like the dad look how many of you know the dad look right we have this situation sometimes in in our house sometimes where you know Laura can say a few times I can come in and say it one time it's not fair but I like it i like it. [00:07:13]
When the time drew near for David to die he gave a charge to Solomon his son he said "I'm about to go the way of all the earth so be strong act like a man and observe what the Lord your God requires walk in obedience to him and keep his decrees and commands his laws and regulations as written in the law of Moses do this so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go and that the Lord may keep his promise to me that if your descendants watch how they live and if they walk faithfully before me with all their heart and soul you will never fail to have a successor on the throne of Israel. [00:09:41]
And I would say that you know a lot of boys are taught to get rid of their feelings and their emotions because that's not manly and what ends up happening is all that is suppressed it's underneath but it isn't going away and what ends up happening is it's going to come out at some point it just is going to come out probably different than if they would have just dealt with it in the moment and so I think what you have sometimes is you have generations that are improving upon previous generations right. [00:15:44]
I think what you have sometimes is you have generations that are improving upon previous generations right i know dad shared his story and you know his father was an amazing man World War II all the stuff right but how many of you know that like back then they came out of the great depression it comes out of fighting a world war comes out of poverty all these things all those things played a part how many of you realize like back then you fought in the war and then you go home and you get busy right but nobody dealt with PTSD nobody dealt with the trauma that they had experienced on the battlefield and so what ends up happening well you're suppressing that you're shoving aside what ends up happening it's gonna come out but for God but for the grace of God right and so we witness that like God grips his heart he changes dad gets saved through a a summer camp right that has an impact on the family they come to know God and and things just begin to change and that changed dad right and then that changed the way that he led our generation and hopefully we've taken that and we continue that right so when we talk about like being a man it's not this macho image you know. [00:16:10]
David gives us a great example of what it probably looks like to be a man in a relationship with God david wasn't perfect we know that right but David was courageous he was mighty he could fight the battles he could do all the stuff but he was also a radical worshiper of God he had a deep relationship with God that he could dance and sing wildly and he could fall and weep before the Lord and he was all those things i I I think that's kind of maybe a a balanced picture of what being a man is is that we can we can wildly express our love for the Lord and be in that relationship and hear his voice and all that and yet do all of the courageous stuff too it it isn't that you're compartmentalized it's it's that's just being authentically you and so David could do all those things and still end up being the apple of God's eye a man for his heart and then the encouragement goes on to obey God. [00:17:38]
And again this is a man that is speaking from experience right i I find this story about the story about Basheba kind of interesting and I think we look at this story a lot of ways and and who knows how how you look at it you know you could look at this and you know some people I've heard you know they blame Basheba because what's she doing up on the roof i I don't know the the culture and all the things that were happening there i I think the clue that we get is right here in 2 Samuel 11:1 it says "In the spring at the time when kings go off to war David sent Joab out with the king's men and the whole army and they destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabba but David remained in Jerusalem." And that's where it goes wrong where was he supposed to be he was supposed to be with his men and it says at the time when kings go to war. [00:18:41]
And I I think the point I want to make here is like I think sometimes we are the hardest on oursel like we know when we've messed up we know when we've made a mistake and the the reality is is can we allow God's grace to actually wash over us there there comes a a moment like when you get up you wash yourself off you change from the old clothes and it's time to eat again and even just during worship this morning I was just feeling like some of that like there's some people in this room like you know you struggle because you've made mistakes in the past and you're still holding yourself to that standard and it's not where God is holding you you God forgave you you've repented and yet you're still living in the past past mistakes and and here's if you really want to get a a glimpse of how God works and how he sees us and how he operates all you have to do is Hebrews 11. [00:20:15]
It's interesting because sometimes you know we're thinking about the law and the all the things i think part of our obedience to the Lord is that we actually believe what he said and we follow him and that when he says that he has forgiven you when he's he's forgetting those things and he remembers them no more part of our our obedience our aligning with him is to begin to align with the way he thinks and so part of being a man part of being courageous part of all this is that that we are obeying God and the reality is is that when and if you mess up there comes a point where you've made things right and it's time to stand up take off the ashes change the clothes and eat again. [00:21:54]
Like understanding that like we we have seasons in our life but sometimes the the frustration that we feel is because we're we haven't become activated in that season this was a time when he should have been with his men he should have been off to war and he wasn't he was complacent he was sitting at home and there's a time of of this activation and I would say there's some of you in this room that you've experienced some battles you've experienced what feel like losses feels like things aren't going and and there's this thing where something has to rise up within you that you go back to what was the word of the Lord i've been doing that a lot lately like what is the word of the Lord that's been speaking to me in my life and like am I at that place where I begin to believe it again it's it's like sometimes you feel like life has gone so far the other direction that it must be dead and you have a choice in that like you can just stay home and give up or you can get back in the fight a little bit and be you begin to war with those words that he's given you and to say no he spoke it he's not a liar what are the steps that I need to take and so it's time to to engage I think for for many of us. [00:23:46]
It's interesting with David he had such a generational mindset he was a dreamer a visionary he had some things in his heart he wanted to do for the Lord he wanted to build a temple god says "No you're not the one." And David could have pouted he could have said "That's not fair God look all that I've done for you." Do you know what he did he said "You know what i'm going to pass on that vision then to another and I'm going to help him out i'm going to do everything in my power while I'm still alive to provide him all the materials he needs so that he can do it he thought generationally and that is the the privilege of in the kingdom that we we're a generational people it's Abraham and Isaac and Jacob right that we think generationally and and when we do that there's going to be things that are in your heart things that you started seeds that you planted that you may never see the fruit of and that's okay you've planted the seeds and we know that God comes he waters it and he's responsible for the harvest. [00:25:14]
It's hard to admit quite honestly because I think we're we're raised to be self-sufficient non-emotional not to be needy all the stuff and yet God has put all of us in connection in relationship i mean it's the only way that it works and I think we I I don't know if it's a pride thing a false pride a false humility where you know it's okay that I give encouragement but it's hard for me to receive that but in in the body of Christ it's body ministry that means that we are giving and we are receiving we are giving and we're receiving and and when you have somebody that is only giving and has trouble receiving that's usually a a place of brokenness that needs to be healed. [00:27:02]
And so you know just like David I think relationship is a two-way street i think you know for all of us we need to find our mighty men in our life we need to find our Jonathan and we need to find our Paul or Timothy you know Paul and Timothy have this amazing relationship and all of us should have a Paul in our life that's somebody that's speaking life into us i am so thankful for not only having amazing parents that that saw a vision for our life and and led us in the ways of the Lord but we had so many supporting cast members as well in the church and and so many men that would take an interest in us in Paul and I and speak into our life and invite us over to their home and shoot hoops with us and do different things that we were surrounded by a community both family and church that spoke into our life and times when we were messing up you know they became like uncles that would that would speak truth into our life it's like I'd be thinking like how do you know that's going on like I thought I did a pretty good job keeping that secret but they knew right and they weren't they weren't afraid to love us and part of their loving us was to to speak life into us and just kind of say like "Hey buddy i don't I don't know about that that may not be the best for you right. [00:31:18]
And so having these relationships I think are are so important and then it's so important that we also have Timothies in our life people that that we are speaking life into we're encouraging them and we're we're calling them out how many of you know like if it wasn't for people in my life going here's what I see in your life like and giving me opportunity and all those things who knows what would have happened all of us need to both have people that are speaking into our life and people that we are speaking into their life as well and then the last thing is just living intentionally one of the things I was thinking about. [00:31:50]
One of the things though I'm noticing with this next generation of fathers and I'm speaking to you is that you are living with such intentionality that you're thinking generationally it's like you've taken what has been imparted uh from fathers and mothers who've loved you both family and church and you're taking the ball and you're running with it i'm watching the way that you are balancing your life you're And again you're probably not doing it perfectly but you're living with such intention i want balance in my life and in my family i'm I'm working hard but I want to be there for my kids you're living with intentionality to speak things into them right that you're being present you're thinking generationally even in the way that you handle your finances and I just want to commend you i I really want to commend all of the generations really and and so I'm thankful for grandfathers and fathers and the the fact that we get to do it and now we we're watching another generation do it and it's beautiful it's living with intentionality. [00:33:19]
But when you understand part of your purpose you understand you're not responsible for what they do with it you're not responsible for the outcome you're just loving you're sewing identity you're speaking life and there's something when somebody actually sees you notices you values you that speaks life into a person especially in this day and age when so much is coming at people there's so much noise right now right there's so much coming against people especially our students and so I I just this morning I just want to commend you i I know we're you know ladies you had your day this is for the guys today. [00:35:10]
You belong in this company and And here's the thing it it isn't about the amount of money that you amass it isn't about the number of people that you have impact on it's just that you're a lover of God that you are a son and that you're obedient i didn't say perfect in any of that right it's just I'm learning and growing in my sunship in my identity and learning to just go and move and again you may have have just ministered to one person in your life and and how do you know that that person doesn't go on and have this amazing impact how do you know that you're not discipling the next president of the United States or Billy Graham or a revivalist or whatever the the the kids that you're raising in your home and and for those of you that maybe you don't you don't have natural kids you still as part of the body of Christ are a father in the house. [00:39:47]

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