Embodying Compassion: Presence in Suffering Together

Summary

### Summary

In our time together, we explored the profound and challenging task of engaging our neighbors, especially those who are suffering, with meaningful compassion. Compassion, as defined by Christ, is about co-suffering and bearing burdens with others, recognizing their inherent value as bearers of God's image. This stands in stark contrast to societal definitions that often seek to eliminate suffering by eliminating sufferers. The Church's role is to bear witness to true compassion through our actions and community life.

I shared my personal journey, from growing up with a physician father who instilled in me a deep respect for the human body and its care, to my own vocational struggles between medicine and theology. This journey led me to a unique intersection of roles as a physician, ethicist, and teacher, where I now work primarily at St. Paul's Hospital, a place deeply connected to the opioid crisis and the suffering community of Vancouver's Downtown Eastside.

We reflected on the biblical story of Job and his friends, emphasizing the importance of presence over words when comforting those who suffer. Job's friends initially did the right thing by simply being with him, recognizing his suffering without trying to explain it away. Similarly, Jesus' disciples in Gethsemane were asked to stay awake and be present with Him in His anguish. This teaches us that our presence is often the most significant gift we can offer to those in pain.

I also shared practical advice on what to say and what not to say to those who are suffering, drawing from Kate Bowler's book, "Everything Happens for a Reason and Other Lies I've Loved." The importance of physical touch and presence was highlighted, as well as the need to affirm the dignity of those we care for. We discussed the concept of dignity therapy, which helps suffering individuals recognize their inherent worth and engage in meaningful activities.

Finally, I encouraged you to sustain your own spiritual health through prayer and specific practices that align your vocational tasks with God's will. The Lord calls us to deep compassion, but also to a place of rest and trust in Him, knowing that our ultimate hope lies in His promise of a future where all suffering will be wiped away.

### Key Takeaways

1. True Compassion Defined by Christ: Compassion, as exemplified by Christ, means co-suffering and bearing burdens with others. It is about recognizing the inherent value of every person as an image-bearer of God, contrasting sharply with societal definitions that often seek to eliminate suffering by eliminating sufferers. This understanding calls us to a deeper, more sacrificial form of love and presence. [03:29]

2. The Power of Presence: The story of Job and his friends teaches us that the most significant gift we can offer to those who suffer is our presence. Before they spoke, Job's friends sat with him in silence for seven days, acknowledging his pain without trying to explain it away. This act of presence is a profound witness to the mystery of suffering and the importance of simply being with those in pain. [22:38]

3. Physical Touch and Recognition: Jesus' healing of the leper in Mark 1 shows the transformative power of physical touch and presence. By touching the leper, Jesus broke societal norms and demonstrated that holiness can invade and heal woundedness. This act teaches us the importance of physical closeness and the faith that our co-suffering presence can have a profound impact on those we care for. [35:30]

4. Affirming Dignity Through Suffering: The concept of dignity therapy emphasizes the importance of helping suffering individuals recognize their inherent worth and engage in meaningful activities. This approach counters societal narratives that equate dignity with independence and autonomy, affirming instead that every person has immutable dignity as an image-bearer of God, regardless of their suffering or dependence. [55:08]

5. Sustaining Spiritual Health: Engaging in deep compassion and co-suffering with others requires sustaining our own spiritual health through prayer and specific practices. Jesus calls us to pray for more workers for the harvest, reminding us that our first task is to operate from a place of union and trust in the Lord. Developing specific prayers for our vocational tasks can help align our actions with God's will and sustain us in our compassionate work. [01:00:58]

### YouTube Chapters

[0:00] - Welcome
[02:53] - Introduction and Personal Journey
[03:29] - Defining True Compassion
[05:35] - Influence of My Father
[06:57] - University and Vocational Struggles
[08:14] - Transition to Theology
[09:27] - Medical and Theological Integration
[11:03] - Work at St. Paul's Hospital
[12:35] - The Purpose in Challenging Work
[14:04] - Honoring the Dignity of Patients
[15:30] - The Temptation to Not Care
[16:46] - Knowing What We Are For
[18:17] - Reflecting on Job and His Friends
[19:37] - The Temptation of Suffering
[21:01] - Recognizing the Suffering Other
[22:38] - Presence Over Words
[24:08] - The Task of Recognition
[25:41] - Encountering Christ in Others
[26:46] - A Story from St. Paul's
[28:02] - The Power of Prayer
[29:29] - The Dignity of Suffering Persons
[31:02] - The Inversion of Societal Values
[32:37] - Christ's Example of Humility
[34:13] - Jesus Heals the Leper
[35:30] - The Power of Physical Touch
[37:04] - Loneliness and Addiction
[38:03] - The Impact of Presence
[39:50] - A Story of Hope and Recovery
[41:17] - The Importance of Presence
[42:55] - Book Recommendation: Kate Bowler
[44:20] - What Not to Say to the Suffering
[46:47] - Theological Reflections on Suffering
[48:05] - The Nature of Evil
[49:15] - Practical Advice for Pastoral Care
[50:32] - Breaking Bad News
[51:51] - Offering Practical Help
[53:13] - Affirming the Value of Others
[54:21] - Dignity Therapy
[55:08] - Understanding Dignity
[56:40] - Dignity-Conserving Traits
[57:56] - Resources for Dignity Therapy
[58:51] - Book Recommendations
[01:00:03] - Sustaining Spiritual Health
[01:00:58] - The Importance of Prayer
[01:01:48] - Developing Specific Prayers
[01:03:08] - Harm Reduction Debate
[01:10:05] - The Role of Christians in the Downtown Eastside
[01:16:06] - Addressing Assisted Suicide
[01:24:20] - Formation and Suffering
[01:32:03] - Alternatives to MAID
[01:33:26] - Christians in the Downtown Eastside

Study Guide

### Bible Reading
1. Job 2:11-13 - "When Job's three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was."
2. Mark 1:40-42 - "A man with leprosy came to him and begged him on his knees, 'If you are willing, you can make me clean.' Jesus was indignant. He reached out his hand and touched the man. 'I am willing,' he said. 'Be clean!' Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cleansed."
3. Galatians 6:2 - "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

### Observation Questions
1. What actions did Job's friends take when they first saw him in his suffering? (Job 2:11-13)
2. How did Jesus respond to the leper's request for healing in Mark 1:40-42?
3. According to Galatians 6:2, what are Christians called to do for one another?
4. In the sermon, what was highlighted as the most significant gift we can offer to those who suffer? [22:38]

### Interpretation Questions
1. Why is the presence of Job's friends significant in the context of his suffering? How does this relate to the concept of co-suffering? (Job 2:11-13)
2. What does Jesus' act of touching the leper teach us about the importance of physical touch and presence in ministry? (Mark 1:40-42)
3. How does the societal view of suffering contrast with the biblical view of bearing each other's burdens as described in Galatians 6:2? [03:29]
4. Reflecting on the sermon, why is it important to affirm the dignity of those who are suffering? [55:08]

### Application Questions
1. Think of a time when you were suffering. How did the presence of others impact your experience? How can you be that presence for someone else now? [22:38]
2. Jesus touched the leper despite societal norms. Is there someone in your life who is "untouchable" or marginalized that you can reach out to this week? How will you do it? (Mark 1:40-42)
3. How can you practically carry someone else's burden this week, fulfilling the law of Christ as stated in Galatians 6:2? Be specific.
4. The sermon mentioned the importance of physical touch and presence. How can you incorporate these elements into your interactions with those who are suffering? [35:30]
5. Reflect on the concept of dignity therapy. How can you help someone recognize their inherent worth and engage in meaningful activities? [55:08]
6. The sermon emphasized sustaining spiritual health through prayer. What specific prayer or spiritual practice can you commit to this week to align your actions with God's will? [01:00:58]
7. How can you create a space of recognition and presence for someone in your community who is suffering? What steps will you take to ensure they feel seen and valued? [24:08]

Devotional

Day 1: True Compassion Defined by Christ
True compassion, as exemplified by Christ, involves co-suffering and bearing burdens with others. It is about recognizing the inherent value of every person as an image-bearer of God, contrasting sharply with societal definitions that often seek to eliminate suffering by eliminating sufferers. This understanding calls us to a deeper, more sacrificial form of love and presence. In a world that often prioritizes convenience and self-preservation, true compassion requires us to step into the messiness of others' lives, offering our presence and support without seeking to fix or explain away their pain. This kind of compassion is transformative, both for the one who suffers and for the one who offers their presence.

Jesus' life and ministry provide the ultimate example of this kind of compassion. He did not shy away from those who were suffering; instead, He moved towards them, offering healing, comfort, and His very presence. As followers of Christ, we are called to do the same. This means being willing to sit with others in their pain, to listen without judgment, and to offer our support in tangible ways. It is through these acts of compassion that we bear witness to the love of Christ and the inherent worth of every person.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYni1SjoI3s&t=209s

Isaiah 58:10 (ESV): "If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday."

Reflection: Think of someone in your life who is currently suffering. How can you offer your presence and support to them in a way that reflects Christ's compassion?

Day 2: The Power of Presence
The story of Job and his friends teaches us that the most significant gift we can offer to those who suffer is our presence. Before they spoke, Job's friends sat with him in silence for seven days, acknowledging his pain without trying to explain it away. This act of presence is a profound witness to the mystery of suffering and the importance of simply being with those in pain. In our fast-paced world, we often feel the need to fill silence with words or solutions, but sometimes the most loving thing we can do is to simply be there.

Presence over words means valuing the person in front of us more than our need to provide answers or comfort. It means recognizing that our presence alone can be a powerful source of comfort and support. This is especially true in times of deep suffering, where words often fall short. By being present, we communicate that the person’s pain is seen and acknowledged, and that they are not alone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYni1SjoI3s&t=1358s

Romans 12:15 (ESV): "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep."

Reflection: Reflect on a time when someone’s presence made a significant difference in your life during a difficult period. How can you offer that same gift of presence to someone else today?

Day 3: Physical Touch and Recognition
Jesus' healing of the leper in Mark 1 shows the transformative power of physical touch and presence. By touching the leper, Jesus broke societal norms and demonstrated that holiness can invade and heal woundedness. This act teaches us the importance of physical closeness and the faith that our co-suffering presence can have a profound impact on those we care for. In a society that often isolates those who are suffering, physical touch can be a powerful reminder of their inherent worth and dignity.

Physical touch, when appropriate and welcomed, can communicate love, acceptance, and solidarity in ways that words cannot. It breaks down barriers and creates a sense of connection and belonging. Jesus' example challenges us to move beyond our comfort zones and to reach out to those who are marginalized or suffering, offering them the healing touch of Christ's love.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYni1SjoI3s&t=2130s

Matthew 8:3 (ESV): "And Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, 'I will; be clean.' And immediately his leprosy was cleansed."

Reflection: Consider how you can use physical touch to communicate love and acceptance to someone in your life. How can you follow Jesus' example in breaking down societal barriers through your actions?

Day 4: Affirming Dignity Through Suffering
The concept of dignity therapy emphasizes the importance of helping suffering individuals recognize their inherent worth and engage in meaningful activities. This approach counters societal narratives that equate dignity with independence and autonomy, affirming instead that every person has immutable dignity as an image-bearer of God, regardless of their suffering or dependence. In a culture that often values productivity and self-sufficiency, it is crucial to affirm the worth of those who may feel diminished by their suffering.

Dignity therapy involves listening to the stories and experiences of those who are suffering, helping them to see the value and meaning in their lives. It is about recognizing and affirming their contributions, their relationships, and their unique identity as beloved children of God. By doing so, we help to restore a sense of purpose and hope, even in the midst of pain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYni1SjoI3s&t=3308s

Psalm 139:14 (ESV): "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."

Reflection: Think about someone you know who is currently suffering. How can you affirm their dignity and worth in a tangible way today?

Day 5: Sustaining Spiritual Health
Engaging in deep compassion and co-suffering with others requires sustaining our own spiritual health through prayer and specific practices. Jesus calls us to pray for more workers for the harvest, reminding us that our first task is to operate from a place of union and trust in the Lord. Developing specific prayers for our vocational tasks can help align our actions with God's will and sustain us in our compassionate work. It is essential to nurture our own spiritual well-being so that we can continue to pour out love and compassion to others.

Sustaining spiritual health involves regular practices of prayer, reflection, and rest. It means taking time to connect with God, to seek His guidance, and to find strength in His presence. By doing so, we ensure that our compassionate actions are rooted in a deep relationship with God, allowing us to serve others with genuine love and grace.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYni1SjoI3s&t=3658s

Matthew 9:37-38 (ESV): "Then he said to his disciples, 'The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.'"

Reflection: Reflect on your current spiritual practices. How can you incorporate specific prayers for your vocational tasks to align your actions with God's will and sustain your compassionate work?

Quotes

### Quotes for Outreach

1. "The task of compassion is one of the core responsibilities of the Christian life. And indeed, one of the big questions, one of the big debates in our society, around many medical ethical issues today is what compassion is, how to define compassion. For Christians, compassion, of course, finds its home and its right definition in Christ. And Christ who suffers with us. Compassion, of course, being a word that literally means co-suffering, co-burden bearing with a brother or sister, a person who is inherently valuable because they bear the image of God." [03:29]( | | )

2. "Sometimes in medicine and sometimes when we care and caring hurts, we can aspire to not caring. We can say, oh, it would be so much easier if we could have some kind of a distance or boundaries or, you know, especially in professional context, professional distance that would save me from the sorrow and the grief of feeling the way I feel. But that is a temptation that is both undercutting of the dignity of the other person, but also deeply misleading. That temptation to not care, to become unfeeling will produce what people in medicine often call burnout, which is the inability to feel at all. The inability to feel the good things as well as the bad things. And that is not worth it. That is not the deeply human way. And it is certainly not the Christian way." [15:30]( | | )

3. "One of the key tasks of the Christian, I believe, when we encounter others, when we seek to care for others, is the task of recognition. Mother Teresa used to say when she was training nuns to work in hospices in Calcutta, she used to say to them, when you see someone being carried in from the street, before you go and address them or care for them, you should always say to yourself, here comes Jesus in his most distressing disguise. Here comes Jesus in his most distressing disguise. I find this image to be, this language to be very beautiful. The language of experiencing distress at the suffering of the other, but of the other person as Christ in disguise." [24:08]( | | )

4. "Our society says your value is proportionate to your autonomy, your independence, your capacity. And your dignity is tied to how independent, to how self-possessed you are. And when you become dependent, you become a burden. And this is the motto of suffering people in our time, right? I don't want to be a burden because they live in a society that has told them either you are fully independent or you become a burden. And then we wonder why our society is so individualistic and why people are so lonely because we have worshipped autonomy." [31:02]( | | )

5. "Christ came to us first as a deeply dependent member of the human community, the most dependent possible member of the human community, a tiny helpless baby. And Christ in his dying was willing to give himself over to the care of the Father, to go lower and lower and lower, like the great hymn of Philippians 2 says, to give himself over to death, even death on a cross. Not to count his height, equality with the Father, something to be clung to or seized, but to allow himself to come lower and lower and lower and lower for us." [32:37]( | | )

### Quotes for Members

1. "And a key task of the Church is not only to seek a clarity intellectually in our minds of what compassion really is, but much more importantly than that, to build personal community spiritual resources such that we can bear witness to what co-suffering compassion means, what it looks like, because that is the thing that is so potentially transformative, is when the Spirit of God is at work in us as individuals and communities to bear witness of what that looks like." [04:16]( | | )

2. "Suffering is a mystery that compels or demands a presence. Suffering is not a question to be answered. It is not a failure to be mastered through technology. Suffering is a profound mystery and what it should compel from us is a presence, a drawing close to the other. And the first task is not to try to find the right words to say, to find silver linings or to find the right lens from which this suffering can be seen as part of a beautiful tapestry. Or something like that. Because if we follow Augustinian theology, evil is not a thing. It is the absence of the thing. It is the opposite of God. It is itself not morally intelligible." [22:38]( | | )

3. "So Job's friends, they do something that I think is the first word for any conversation about what it means to be close to those who suffer, is to learn to be present with them and to believe that often our presence is our doing. To believe that our presence is our doing. Our presence is our doing with the other more than anything we could say or do or offer through our words or actions. The act of drawing close, sitting with the other person, standing with them even in the dark is the most important first thing we can do." [22:38]( | | )

4. "So often if you're doing pastoral care for someone who's suffering or who's dying or who's disabled it can feel like you have so little to offer it can feel like there's so little of the situation that you can change but I think it is important for us to grow our roots down into the truth that our presence is our doing our willingness to sit quietly with the other to touch them to be with them does more than it does it does so much more than it seems to do." [38:03]( | | )

5. "Finally, very briefly, I just want to encourage you that the Lord's will for you is not to be burned out and is not to try and try to help other people to the point where you are sapped of joy and resources or overwhelmed by the suffering of others. That is not the Lord's good purpose for your own lives as you engage in pastoral care. Rather, the Lord does want you to be laid bare, to weep with those who weep, to suffer with those who suffer, to mourn with those who mourn, but to do so in good cheer that a day of peace is coming, that one day all tears will be wiped away, that all will be well and all manner of things shall be well." [01:00:03]( | | )

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Transcript

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