Embodying Christ: The Call to Peacemaking

 

Summary

In today's message, we explored the profound teachings of James 3:18, which emphasizes the importance of being peacemakers in a world rife with conflict. The verse reminds us that those who plant seeds of peace will reap a harvest of goodness. In our journey through life, we encounter conflicts daily due to our inherent differences. Therefore, mastering the skills of de-escalating, resolving, and reconciling conflicts is crucial for a fulfilling life. Unfortunately, these skills are rarely taught, yet they are essential for maintaining harmonious relationships in every sphere of life.

We delved into the misconceptions about peacemaking, clarifying that it is neither about avoiding nor appeasing conflicts. True peacemaking involves confronting issues directly and constructively, as exemplified by Jesus Christ. We then explored ten biblical steps to diffuse tense situations, starting with lowering our voice, which helps maintain rational thinking and prevents escalation. The power of mirror neurons in our brains means that our emotional responses are often mirrored by others, making it vital to approach conflicts with calmness and understanding.

Listening more than speaking is another key step, as it allows us to understand the emotions behind words, leading to more empathetic and effective communication. We are encouraged to pray for calmness and seek to understand others before seeking to be understood ourselves. This Christ-like approach requires us to look beyond our interests and consider the perspectives of others. By asking God for a clear picture of ourselves, we can identify and admit our part in conflicts, paving the way for genuine reconciliation.

Ultimately, choosing our words carefully can transform our interactions, turning potential conflicts into opportunities for healing and growth. As peacemakers, we are called to embody the love and peace of Christ, striving to bring harmony to our relationships and communities.

Key Takeaways:

1. Peacemaking is Active, Not Passive: True peacemaking involves confronting conflicts directly rather than avoiding or appeasing them. It requires courage and a willingness to engage constructively, following the example of Jesus Christ, who never shied away from legitimate conflicts. [04:13]

2. The Power of a Gentle Response: Lowering your voice in a conflict can prevent escalation and maintain rational thinking. Proverbs 15:1 teaches that a gentle response can calm anger, highlighting the importance of controlling our tone to foster understanding and peace. [06:11]

3. Listen for the Emotion Behind Words: Effective communication in conflicts involves listening for the emotions behind words rather than just the words themselves. By understanding the underlying feelings, we can respond with empathy and address the real issues at hand. [17:09]

4. Seek to Understand Before Being Understood: Prioritizing the understanding of others' perspectives before expressing our own is a Christ-like approach to conflict resolution. This requires humility and a genuine interest in the experiences and feelings of others. [22:51]

5. Prayer as a Tool for Calmness: In moments of conflict, praying for calmness can help us lower our defenses and approach the situation with a clear mind. By inviting God to calm our fears, we can better manage our emotions and respond with grace. [19:56]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:09] - Introduction to the Series
- [00:25] - The Importance of Peacemaking
- [01:02] - Essential Life Skills
- [02:00] - The Lack of Conflict Resolution Education
- [02:38] - Current Events and the Need for Peace
- [03:17] - Understanding Peacemaking
- [04:13] - What Peacemaking is Not
- [05:34] - Jesus as a Model for Peacemaking
- [06:11] - Step 1: Lower Your Voice
- [11:24] - Step 2: Breathe and Slow Down
- [14:37] - Step 3: Listen More Than You Talk
- [17:09] - Step 4: Listen for the Hurt
- [19:56] - Step 5: Pray While Listening
- [22:51] - Step 6: Seek to Understand First
- [26:25] - Step 8: Ask God for Self-Insight
- [28:25] - Step 9: Admit Your Part in the Conflict
- [30:15] - Step 10: Choose Words Carefully
- [32:24] - Are You a Peacemaker?
- [33:11] - Invitation to Know Jesus

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: Peacemaking in a World of Conflict

Bible Reading:
- James 3:18: "Those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and they will reap a harvest of goodness."
- Proverbs 15:1: "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
- Matthew 5:9: "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God."

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Observation Questions:

1. According to James 3:18, what is the outcome for those who are peacemakers? How does this relate to the concept of planting and harvesting? [00:25]

2. What are the two misconceptions about peacemaking mentioned in the sermon, and why are they considered incorrect? [04:13]

3. How does Proverbs 15:1 illustrate the impact of our tone of voice during conflicts? [06:11]

4. What role do mirror neurons play in our interactions during conflicts, as explained in the sermon? [09:02]

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Interpretation Questions:

1. How does the concept of being a peacemaker in James 3:18 align with the teachings of Jesus in Matthew 5:9? What does this suggest about the identity of a peacemaker? [03:39]

2. In what ways does lowering one's voice during a conflict, as advised in Proverbs 15:1, contribute to de-escalating the situation? [06:11]

3. The sermon emphasizes listening for the emotions behind words. How might this practice change the way conflicts are typically handled? [17:09]

4. How does seeking to understand before being understood reflect a Christ-like approach to conflict resolution? [22:51]

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on a recent conflict you experienced. How could you have applied the principle of lowering your voice to change the outcome? [06:11]

2. Think of a relationship where you often find yourself in conflict. How can you practice listening for the emotions behind the words in your next interaction? [17:09]

3. Identify a situation where you tend to avoid or appease conflict. What steps can you take to confront the issue constructively, following the example of Jesus? [04:13]

4. Consider a time when you were quick to speak and slow to listen. How can you reverse this pattern in future interactions to foster understanding and peace? [14:55]

5. In moments of conflict, how can you incorporate prayer to calm your fears and approach the situation with a clear mind? [19:56]

6. Reflect on a conflict where you may have contributed to the problem. What part of the conflict can you admit to, and how can this admission lead to reconciliation? [28:25]

7. Choose a specific relationship or community where you want to be a peacemaker. What practical steps can you take this week to plant seeds of peace and embody the love of Christ? [32:24]

Devotional

Day 1: Peacemaking Requires Courageous Engagement
True peacemaking is an active process that involves directly confronting conflicts rather than avoiding or appeasing them. It requires courage and a willingness to engage constructively, following the example of Jesus Christ, who never shied away from legitimate conflicts. Peacemaking is not about passivity; it is about actively seeking resolution and reconciliation. This approach demands a deep understanding of the issues at hand and a commitment to addressing them with honesty and integrity. By embracing this active role, individuals can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth and healing, fostering a more harmonious environment. [04:13]

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." (Matthew 5:9, ESV)

Reflection: Think of a conflict you are currently facing. How can you actively engage in resolving it with courage and integrity today?


Day 2: The Power of a Gentle Response
In moments of conflict, the way we respond can significantly impact the outcome. Lowering your voice during a disagreement can prevent escalation and help maintain rational thinking. Proverbs 15:1 teaches that a gentle response can calm anger, highlighting the importance of controlling our tone to foster understanding and peace. This approach not only helps in de-escalating tense situations but also encourages others to respond in kind, creating a more conducive environment for resolution. By choosing gentleness over aggression, we can transform potential conflicts into opportunities for constructive dialogue and mutual understanding. [06:11]

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1, ESV)

Reflection: In your next disagreement, practice lowering your voice and observe how it affects the conversation. What changes do you notice in the dynamics of the interaction?


Day 3: Listening for the Emotion Behind Words
Effective communication in conflicts involves listening for the emotions behind words rather than just the words themselves. By understanding the underlying feelings, we can respond with empathy and address the real issues at hand. This requires patience and a willingness to look beyond the surface to grasp the true essence of what is being communicated. By focusing on the emotions, we can better connect with others and foster a deeper level of understanding and compassion. This empathetic approach not only helps in resolving conflicts but also strengthens relationships by building trust and mutual respect. [17:09]

"Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger." (James 1:19, ESV)

Reflection: Think of a recent conversation where you focused more on the words than the emotions. How might the outcome have been different if you had listened for the underlying feelings?


Day 4: Seek to Understand Before Being Understood
Prioritizing the understanding of others' perspectives before expressing our own is a Christ-like approach to conflict resolution. This requires humility and a genuine interest in the experiences and feelings of others. By seeking to understand first, we demonstrate respect and empathy, which can open the door to more meaningful and productive conversations. This approach not only helps in resolving conflicts but also fosters a sense of community and connection. By putting others' needs and perspectives first, we can create an environment where everyone feels heard and valued, paving the way for genuine reconciliation and peace. [22:51]

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." (Philippians 2:3, ESV)

Reflection: Identify a relationship where you often prioritize your perspective. How can you practice seeking to understand the other person's viewpoint first?


Day 5: Prayer as a Tool for Calmness
In moments of conflict, praying for calmness can help us lower our defenses and approach the situation with a clear mind. By inviting God to calm our fears, we can better manage our emotions and respond with grace. Prayer serves as a powerful tool to center ourselves and seek divine guidance in navigating difficult situations. It allows us to pause, reflect, and gain a broader perspective, enabling us to approach conflicts with a spirit of peace and understanding. By relying on prayer, we can cultivate a sense of inner calm that positively influences our interactions with others, leading to more harmonious relationships. [19:56]

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (Philippians 4:6, ESV)

Reflection: In a current conflict, take a moment to pray for calmness and clarity. How does this practice change your approach to the situation?

Quotes

Those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and they will reap a harvest of goodness. Those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness. James 3:18. Now in our last session I explained the six seeds of peace that James tells us in the verses right before that, that we're to plant. [00:29:36]

Three of the most important life skills that you have to learn in life are how to deescalate a conflict, how to resolve a conflict, and how to reconcile after a conflict, a strained or a broken relationship. If you don't learn these three skills, you're gonna spend a lot of your life miserable. [00:68:43]

First, peacemaking is not avoiding. And number two, peacemaking is not appeasing. It's not avoiding and it's not appeasing. Avoiding, some people think, "I keep the peace in my marriage by just avoiding everything. I don't rock the boat. I sweep everything under the rug. I swallow it. I grin and I bear it. [00:54:57]

Proverbs 15, verse 1 says, a gentle response, that's lowering your voice will calm a person's anger, but harsh words stir up intense fury. Now you know this is true, that the louder you get, the louder the other person gets in an argument. When you start yelling or they start yelling, then you're both gonna do the same thing. [00:78:37]

The more I raise my voice, the more I lower my intelligence. The more I raise my voice, the more I lower my intelligence. When you're yelling, you're not in the cortex part of your brain, you're not in the smart thinking, rational human part. You're down in the instinctual gut part. [00:85:10]

Listen more than I talk. Listen more than I talk. We keep coming back to this verse in James chapter 1, verse 19 because it has so many applications. James 1:19 says be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. If you do the first two, the third is automatic. [00:87:74]

Stop listening to the words and start listening for the emotions behind the words. What they're saying is not nearly as important as the emotion they're communicating. Are they afraid? They may not be saying I'm afraid, but they may be afraid. They may be depressed. They may be jealous. They may be anxious. [00:1040:44]

Pray while I'm listening. Yeah, while you're pausing, and being quiet, and you're just listening, and you listen for the hurt, you pray while you are listening. I ran across a verse the other day I loved in Judges chapter 6, verse 24. It says this. Gideon built an altar for worshiping the Lord and he called it The Lord Calms Our Fears. [00:1185:11]

Seek to understand before seeking to be understood. Seek to understand before seeking to be understood. Try to figure out what they're thinking and they're saying, before you start trying to convince them about what you wanna say. Don't worry about them understanding you until you fully understand them. [00:1365:59]

Ask God to give me a clear picture of myself. That's one of the scariest things to do. God, I want you to give me a clear perspective, a clear photograph, a clear portrait of me. One of the verses I memorized in college and I've used it literally tens of thousands of time in my life as a prayer is Psalm 139:24 and 24. [00:1585:62]

Admit any part of the conflict that I caused. I'm responsible for my part. You're responsible for your part. Whether you own up to your part or not is none of my business. That's your business between you and God, but my business is to admit any part of the conflict that I caused because of my bias, because of my background. [00:1695:16]

Choose my words carefully. Choose my words carefully. If you're gonna deescalate words have the power to set a forest on fire, the power to destroy a life, we're gonna actually come back to this. I don't have to go into it, because there's a major section in the Book of James on the power of the tongue, and we're gonna cover this in detail. [00:1812:12]

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Transcript
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