September 13th - Dustin Maddox - Empathy

Sep 14, 2026

Devotional

Day 1: Jesus Wept: God’s Tears in Our Grief

When Mary fell at Jesus’ feet grieving Lazarus’ death, Jesus didn’t offer solutions or spiritual platitudes. He entered fully into the raw, messy reality of human loss – sobbing with those who sobbed, his spirit resonating like a tuning fork with their anguish. This moment reveals a God who doesn’t stand above pain but inhabits it, whose tears mingle with ours in the dust of broken dreams. The incarnation means divinity knows the weight of grave clothes and the stench of four-day-old death. [47:51]

“When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, ‘Where have you laid him?’ They said to him, ‘Lord, come and see.’ Jesus wept.”
(John 11:33-35, ESV)

Reflection: When have you hesitated to bring your unfiltered grief to Jesus? How does his weeping at Lazarus’ tomb reshape your understanding of God’s response to your pain?

Day 2: When Empathy Leads to the Cross

Jesus’ choice to resurrect Lazarus wasn’t merely miraculous – it was costly. By entering into Mary’s pain and defying death’s finality, he ignited the religious leaders’ plot to kill him. True empathy often requires vulnerability, risking comfort and control to enter another’s world. Like Jesus standing before Lazarus’ stinking tomb, love sometimes means walking into situations that will leave permanent marks. The path to resurrection life winds through crucifixion. [57:08]

“So the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered the council and said, ‘What are we to do? For this man performs many signs. If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away both our place and our nation.’”
(John 11:47-48, ESV)

Reflection: What relationships or situations are you avoiding because empathy might cost more than you’re willing to pay? How does Jesus’ cross-shaped compassion challenge your limits?

Day 3: Choosing to See What’s on the Other Side of Me

Empathy begins when we stop trying to fix, convince, or manage others’ emotions. Like Jesus asking “Where have you laid him?” it’s about surrendering our agenda to enter another’s reality. This deliberate choice – to see through others’ eyes rather than defend our perspective – transforms strangers into neighbors. It means holding space for stories that make us uncomfortable, questions that unsettle us, and pain that doesn’t fit our theology. [01:03:52]

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
(Philippians 2:3-4, ESV)

Reflection: Where are you listening with solutions instead of solidarity? What would it look like today to “count others more significant” in a specific relationship?

Day 4: Asking Questions That Unwrap Grave Clothes

When Jesus shouted “Lazarus, come out!” he didn’t stop at resuscitation. “Unbind him,” he instructed, inviting the community to participate in liberation. Like the FBI negotiator who spent six hours naming a gunman’s fears, transformative empathy asks more questions than it answers. It’s the slow work of unwrapping others’ grave clothes – the shame, assumptions, and isolation that keep people entombed – through patient curiosity. [01:11:14]

“When he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, come out.’ The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, ‘Unbind him, and let him go.’”
(John 11:43-44, ESV)

Reflection: Who in your life needs you to ask one more question before offering advice? What “grave clothes” might Jesus want you to help remove through patient presence?

Day 5: Empathy Is What Belonging Feels Like

The resurrected Lazarus became living proof that being fully known and fully loved is possible. Jesus models that empathy isn’t agreement but incarnation – making space in ourselves for others’ experiences. When we mirror this, we create communities where the “dead” parts of people can resurrect. This radical belonging transforms churches from theological echo chambers into hospitals where even our stinketh finds healing. [01:14:07]

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.”
(Romans 12:15-16, ESV)

Reflection: Where have you substituted agreement for empathy? How can you make your circle a place where people aren’t fixed but fully felt?

Sermon Summary

Empathy is hard because people often listen in order to fix, power up, shut down, or manage their own feelings instead of actually entering another person’s experience. The tension between facts and feelings is real, because feelings do not make reality disappear, but Jesus shows that truth and deep compassion do not have to compete.

John brings that tension into the grief of Mary and Martha at Lazarus’s tomb. Mary’s question, “If you had been here,” carries the ache behind so many hard questions about pain, loss, and God’s seeming delay. Jesus does not correct her grief, rush past her lament, or offer a tidy answer. Jesus sees her sobbing, feels the weight of death, becomes deeply moved in spirit, and weeps.

Jesus reveals a God who is not grossed out by human emotion or unmoved by human pain. Jesus resonates with the grief around him like a tuning fork, and his anger rises against death because death is not how things are supposed to be. Jesus weeps because he loves, and the depth of grief reveals the depth of love. John records the hard questions because those questions are safe to bring near Jesus.

Jesus then stands before the tomb where Lazarus has been dead four days, where “he stinketh” and all hope is gone. Jesus asks for trust, not because suffering is simple, but because the glory of God is about to be revealed. John defines that glory through the cross, so Lazarus coming out of the tomb points forward to Jesus entering death himself and coming out the other side. Jesus possesses power over death, yet Jesus first stands with people in their sorrow.

Empathy is choosing to see what is on the other side of self. Empathy does not mean agreement, surrendering truth, or doing everything another person wants. Empathy means climbing into another person’s skin long enough to understand why life looks and feels the way it does from there. Jesus gets people, including their fears, frustrations, rough edges, pet sins, and shame.

Empathy becomes practical through moments: ask questions and hold space. The practice resists the impulse to interrupt, assume the worst, offer a fix, or wait for another person to stop talking. Jesus invites ashamed people into fresh starts, welcomes hard questions without fear, and forms transformed people who treat others as they themselves long to be treated. Empathy is what belonging feels like.

Key Takeaways

1. Jesus gets grief before fixing it [49:35] Jesus does not approach Lazarus’s death as a detached problem to solve. Jesus enters the wailing, the confusion, and the anger of those who loved Lazarus. Christ’s power does not make compassion unnecessary. Christ’s compassion reveals what his power is for. [49:35]
2. Hard questions are safe with Jesus [52:37] John preserves the questions about why Jesus did not prevent Lazarus’s death because honest faith does not require neat explanations. Jesus is not threatened by accusations, doubt, or lament. Questions can become a place of encounter when they are brought to the one who knows pain from the inside. [52:37]
3. Empathy chooses another person’s vantage point [01:03:52] Empathy does not call every perspective correct, but it refuses to reduce people to their most confusing opinions or decisions. Love asks what has shaped a person before announcing a verdict about that person. Understanding another’s experience can make room for truth without using truth as a weapon. [63:52]
4. Ask questions and hold space [01:10:12] Empathy grows through a deliberate rhythm of curiosity and patience. Questions slow down the instinct to fix, defend, or make another person’s story about personal discomfort. Holding space communicates that another person’s pain is not an inconvenience to be managed. [70:12]
5. Empathy is what belonging feels like [01:14:07] Belonging takes shape when people know they will not be immediately misunderstood or mischaracterized. Jesus creates that kind of welcome by knowing people fully and moving toward them with compassion. A community becomes believable when its love remains present in the middle of difference, shame, pain, and unanswered questions.

## [74:07]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[30:13] - The Blind Spot of Trying to Fix
[37:26] - What Empathy Really Is
[39:23] - Facts, Feelings, and Following Jesus
[41:33] - Made to Belong Through Empathy
[45:40] - Mary’s Hard Question for Jesus
[47:31] - Jesus Weeps at Lazarus’s Tomb
[53:33] - Take Away the Stone
[56:32] - Glory, the Cross, and Trust
[58:52] - Lazarus, Come Out
[62:08] - Jesus Gets You
[63:52] - Choosing to See What Is Beyond Self
[65:40] - Empathy in a Hostage Negotiation
[70:12] - Ask Questions and Hold Space
[74:07] - Empathy Is What Belonging Feels Like

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

John 11:32–44
Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?” Then Jesus, deeply moved again, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay against it. Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, by this time there will be an odor, for he has been dead four days.” Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” So they took away the stone. And Jesus lifted up his eyes and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me.” When he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out.” The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.” [45:40]

Matthew 7:12
“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” [01:08:50]

Hebrews 4:15
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.”

Observation questions

What words and actions in John 11 show the depth of Mary’s grief and the grief of the people with her? [47:39]
Before Jesus tells Lazarus to come out, how does he respond to the people’s sorrow and questions?
What do the crowd’s comments—“See how he loved him” and “Could not he… have kept this man from dying?”—show about the different ways people interpreted Jesus’ tears and delay? [51:26]
What does Jesus ask the people around the tomb to do, both before Lazarus comes out and after he comes out?

Interpretation questions

Jesus knows that he will raise Lazarus, yet he is still deeply moved and weeps. What does this reveal about the kind of power Jesus has and what he does with it? [49:35]
Mary and the crowd both ask versions of, “Why did Jesus not prevent this?” Why might John preserve those questions instead of giving an immediate explanation? [52:37]
In John’s Gospel, Lazarus being raised points ahead to Jesus’ own death and resurrection. How does this connection shape the meaning of “the glory of God” in this passage? [56:59]
Hebrews says Jesus can sympathize with human weakness, while Matthew calls people to treat others as they themselves want to be treated. How do Jesus’ compassion and the Golden Rule belong together?

Application questions

When someone shares pain, frustration, or a hard opinion, which response is most tempting: trying to fix it, powering up to prove a point, shutting down, or making the conversation about personal discomfort? What might be underneath that response? [36:46]
Is there a hard question, disappointment, grief, or sense of God’s delay that needs to be brought honestly to Jesus? What makes that question difficult to say out loud? [01:12:25]
Think of a recent conversation in which someone felt misunderstood or you felt misunderstood. What question could have helped reveal what the other person was actually experiencing? [01:08:24]
Empathy does not require agreement or giving up truth. Where is there a relationship in which it would help to understand why someone sees things differently before responding to them? [01:05:11]
“Ask questions and hold space” is a simple practice. In one upcoming conversation this week, what might it look like to ask one more question before offering advice, correction, or your own story? [01:13:22]
Jesus meets people in shame with a call toward life and freedom. Is there an area of shame where a fresh start with Jesus feels needed? What would it look like to receive his welcome rather than hide? [01:11:55]
Empathy is what belonging feels like. What small change could help this group, household, workplace, or friendship become a place where people are less likely to be mischaracterized and more likely to be heard? [01:13:58]

Sermon Clips

58s

#JesusCallsYou

“And I know that some of you are probably thinking at this point. Yeah, but like, nobody could get me or my experience or understand the decisions that I've made because they're not great decisions. They're shameful decisions that I don't like people to ask me questions about. And I think what you need to hear is that Jesus, like he did with Lazarus, is calling your name in the midst of your shame. Whatever your experience is, you can come alive again with the questions that Jesus has for you, with the space that Jesus has for you. There's a second chance, a fresh start, a new beginning that's available to you because Jesus gets you.”

51s

#QuestionsWelcome

“And for others of you, you need to hear the invitation that it's okay for you and you are invited to bring your hardest questions to Jesus. Like, being a Jesus follower isn't about having all of the answers neat and tidy and buttoned up. Like, Jesus is not afraid of your questions. Jesus invites them and can handle them and isn't gonna get mad at you for asking them. And my guess is that there's people sitting somewhere around you who could reflect that to you.”

56s

#GodWhoFeels

“And this is, like, radical. Because in in the ancient world, in the ancient mindset and conception of the gods, of ultimate spiritual beings, those gods are unmoved by our plights and circumstances and situations. More and if they are, they're frustrated, they're resentful, they're grossed out by your emotions. And Jesus reveals a fundamentally different kind of god. A god who feels what you are feeling, whatever that is, who understands what it is like to experience your life and your experiences.”

45s

#JesusUnderstands

“Jesus gets experience, your pain, your questions. In other words, Jesus empathizes with you. Jesus knows your fears and your frustrations. Jesus knows your rough edges. Jesus knows your pet sins. Jesus knows your preferences. Jesus and he gets it. Like, gets what it's like to be you and how you got to be you the way that you are. Jesus gets you.”

42s

#AskHoldRepeat

“So when you engage with another person, ask questions, then hold space for them to respond and however they're gonna respond. And then they're probably gonna say something that is going to be confusing to you and that you wanna jump to a conclusion about, but you're not gonna do that because you're gonna ask another question. And then you're gonna hold space for that response. And then you're gonna ask another question. And then you're gonna hold space for that response. And then you're just gonna keep going because that's how transforms people treat people. That's how we exercise empathy towards the end of building a community of belonging.”

44s

#EmpathyTransforms

“Empathy is treating others the way you would like to be treated, which is Jesus' golden rule because empathy is how transformed people treat people. When you've been transformed by somebody listened deeply to you, who understood who you are and why you are the way you are and where you're coming from and what your intentions are. changed you, and it presented you with an invitation to do the same for others.”

45s

#SeeTheOtherSide

“And what do we do with this? How how can we translate this? How do we understand what empathy means for me and you, and how we practice it in our day to day lives of people who are very different, for in our life circumstances that are challenging, that confront us with things that are uncomfortable and that we don't like, there's death and taxes and all sorts of things. I think the best way I know how to capture this is that empathy is choosing to see what's on the other side of me.”

48s

#RaisedToNewLife

“Jesus enters into death and comes out the other side of it, raised by the power of God, launching a movement of people who are captured by a new kind and new quality of life that is not enslaved to death. What is this story about? What does John what does John want us to see as people who are considering joining this movement of Jesus and living it out? Put simply, what John wants us to see is that Jesus gets us.”

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