Do Not Murder: Love Like Jesus, Not Cain

The sixth commandment says, “You shall not murder,” and the word matters because Scripture is not forbidding every kind of killing. Exodus uses a word that points to murder and manslaughter, to taking life through hatred, carelessness, or negligence. God’s law protects life because every person is made in the image of God, and to murder is to disdain someone made by God and, in a sense, like God.

First John 3 takes that commandment deeper than the surface level. John keeps pressing the question of family resemblance. God’s children ought to look like their Father in the ways that matter most, and that means loving brothers and sisters well. The command to “love one another” is old and new at the same time. Leviticus said to love the neighbor as oneself, but Jesus intensified the measure: “as I have loved you.” The standard is no longer self-love, but Christ’s own love.

Cain gives the “how not to” tutorial. Cain brought something to God, but Abel brought the best of the best. Abel’s righteousness exposed the weakness and emptiness of Cain’s offering, and Cain’s hatred grew until it became murder. John uses Cain to show why the world hates righteousness. Quiet righteousness will not satisfy the world, because righteousness shines a light on evil like newly painted walls making the dingy ceiling and carpet look worse.

John also makes murder an issue of the heart. God is not only concerned with the actions of the hands, but also with the intentions of the heart. Hatred, bitterness, and a refusal to forgive are not small private sins. In God’s sight, a heart that harbors hate carries the spirit of murder. There is no middle ground in God’s kingdom, no safe category called halfhearted, lukewarm, or basically fine.

Jesus gives the opposite example. Love is known because Jesus laid down his life, and God’s children are called to lay down their lives for brothers and sisters. That usually looks less like one heroic death and more like “a thousand tiny deaths” of sacrificial love. Love cannot stay in word or talk. Love must show itself in deed and truth, in shared resources, real relationship, church commitment, small groups, and actual knowledge of what a brother or sister needs. The cross finally answers the objection that hatred seems too small to be judged like murder, because Jesus did not suffer only for outward sins. Jesus died because all people, apart from him, are murderers in need of grace.

##

---

Key Takeaways

• 1. Murder begins before the weapon God’s commandment reaches deeper than the hand that strikes. Jesus and John both press the sixth commandment into the hidden places of anger, bitterness, and hatred. A heart can carry murder long before a body acts it out, and God’s holiness sees the inner posture as truly as the outer deed. [42:13]
• 2. Quiet righteousness will not satisfy Cain hated Abel because Abel’s righteousness exposed Cain’s emptiness. The world reacts the same way when Christ’s righteousness is seen in God’s people. Silence and background faithfulness will not remove the offense, because righteousness itself shines a light on what remains dark. [39:07]
• 3. Love dies a thousand small deaths Jesus laid down his life, and that one great sacrifice becomes the pattern for daily sacrificial love. Most love will not feel heroic; it will feel inconvenient, costly, and easy to avoid. John insists that love becomes real when it moves from word and talk into deed and truth. [50:21]
• 4. Brothers must actually be known Sacrificial love requires more than a hallway greeting on Sunday morning. A brother’s burden cannot be carried if his life is never known, and a sister’s need cannot be met if her struggle stays invisible. Small groups and committed church life create the kind of closeness where tiny deaths of love become possible. [56:54]
• 5. Jesus died for murderers God’s standard is high and holy, but the Father placed that standard on his own Son. The cross did not answer only visible sins, but secret hatred, dark thoughts, and hidden intentions too. Jesus died because every sinner needs more than moral improvement; every sinner needs the righteous Brother who stands in the place of murderers.
  
  ## [59:15]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [17:37] - Cain and the Promised Son
• [24:51] - The Sixth Commandment Introduced
• [25:18] - Murder, Not All Killing
• [27:20] - Layers Beneath a Simple Command
• [30:29] - Family Resemblance in First John
• [31:26] - Love One Another From the Beginning
• [35:13] - Cain as the Negative Example
• [39:07] - Why the World Hates Righteousness
• [41:44] - Hatred as Murder in the Heart
• [48:30] - Jesus as the Positive Example
• [50:21] - Love in Deed and Truth
• [55:53] - A Thousand Tiny Deaths
• [58:40] - God’s Justice and the Cross

Bible Reading

1) 1 John 3:11-18
“For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother's righteous. Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you. We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” [25:02] [30:47] [31:29] [35:09] [35:32] [37:40] [39:45] [41:34] [48:43] [49:33] [49:56]

2) Exodus 20:13
“You shall not murder.” [24:51] [25:06] [25:28]

3) Genesis 4:1-11
“Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, ‘I have gotten a man with the help of the LORD.’ And again, she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a worker of the ground. In the course of time Cain brought to the LORD an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. The LORD said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.’ Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him. Then the LORD said to Cain, ‘Where is Abel your brother?’ He said, ‘I do not know; am I my brother's keeper?’ And the LORD said, ‘What have you done? The voice of your brother's blood is crying to me from the ground. And now you are cursed from the ground, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand.’” [17:25] [18:00] [36:24]

4) Matthew 5:21-22
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.”

Observation questions

1. In Genesis 4, what differences are shown between Cain’s offering and Abel’s offering, and how does the passage describe Cain’s response? [36:24]
2. In 1 John 3:11-18, what contrasts does John make between Cain and Jesus?
3. According to 1 John 3, what are the specific actions or attitudes that show the difference between abiding in death and passing into life? [39:45]
4. In verses 17-18, what examples are given of what love should not look like, and what love should look like instead? [49:56]

Interpretation questions

1. Exodus 20:13 says, “You shall not murder,” and Matthew 5 presses that command into anger and insult. Why does God tie the sixth commandment not only to violent actions but also to the heart? [42:13]
2. John says Cain murdered Abel because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous. Why does righteousness provoke hatred in the world rather than peace? [39:07]
3. John says love for the brothers is evidence of having passed from death into life. Why would love for fellow believers be such a strong sign of spiritual life? [40:53]
4. Jesus laying down his life is the pattern for Christian love. What does it mean to say that laying down one’s life usually happens through “a thousand tiny deaths” rather than one dramatic moment? [50:33]

Application questions

1. Is there anyone toward whom anger, bitterness, or refusal to forgive has been allowed to settle in the heart? What would repentance look like in that relationship this week? [47:27]
2. Quiet righteousness does not remove the offense of holiness. Where is there a temptation to hide faithfulness, soften obedience, or blend into the background to avoid disapproval? [39:07]
3. Love must move beyond kind words. Is there a brother or sister whose need is known right now—financial, emotional, practical, or spiritual—and what might love in deed and truth look like? [50:21]
4. Sacrificial love is often more inconvenient than dramatic. What are some small but costly ways life can be laid down for others in an ordinary week? [55:53]
5. Brothers and sisters cannot be loved well if they remain mostly unknown. How known is life in the church right now, really? What tends to keep deeper relationships at a distance? [56:54]
6. John forces a hard comparison: more like Cain or more like Jesus. In conflict, disappointment, or jealousy, which direction does the heart naturally drift, and what does that reveal? [51:45]
7. Jesus died for outward sins and hidden sins alike. When guilt over sinful thoughts or inward hatred rises up, is there a tendency to hide, excuse it, or bring it honestly to Christ? [59:15]