Discipleship at Home: The Father's Vital Role
Summary
Today’s focus is on the God-given responsibility of parents—especially fathers—to disciple their children, shaping not only their minds but their hearts and worldviews in accordance with Christ. The family is not just a social unit, but the primary training ground for the next generation of believers. The strength of the church is directly tied to the strength and faithfulness of our families. While the world often separates academic education from spiritual formation, Scripture calls us to see all of life—including education—as discipleship. Every subject, every conversation, every moment is an opportunity to point our children to Jesus.
Ephesians 6:4 and Deuteronomy 6:6-7 make it clear: parents are commanded to bring up their children in the discipline (paideia) and instruction (nouthesia) of the Lord. This is not a casual suggestion, but a divine mandate. Discipline here means the comprehensive formation of a child—morally, intellectually, spiritually—while instruction is about shaping their thinking and discernment through a biblical lens. Fathers, in particular, are called to lead in this, not passively outsourcing the spiritual and academic formation of their children to schools, churches, or culture. If we are not intentional, something or someone else will disciple our children in our place.
Education is never neutral. Every curriculum, every teacher, every environment is imparting a worldview—either one that honors Christ or one that subtly (or overtly) pulls hearts away from Him. The myth of neutrality is just that—a myth. If Christ is not at the center, then the formation is not spiritually harmless; it is, in fact, rebellion against God’s design. Our children are sponges, absorbing the values and beliefs of those who teach them, whether in the classroom, on the field, or at home.
The ultimate goal is not simply to raise well-behaved, successful, or talented children, but to raise followers of Jesus who will stand firm in their faith, proclaim the gospel, and advance God’s kingdom. This calling is weighty, and none of us do it perfectly. Yet, the gospel reminds us that Christ has done what we could not—He forgives, empowers, and equips us by His Spirit to fulfill this calling. Whether you are a parent, grandparent, teacher, or part of the church family, we are all called to invest in the next generation, supporting one another in this sacred task.
Key Takeaways
- Discipleship Begins at Home
The primary responsibility for shaping a child’s heart, mind, and worldview belongs to parents, especially fathers. This is not a task to be outsourced to schools, churches, or culture, but a divine mandate to be lived out intentionally in daily life. Every moment—at the dinner table, during bedtime, in everyday conversations—is an opportunity to disciple our children toward Christ. [52:02]
- Education Is Never Neutral
Every form of education, whether academic or spiritual, is shaping our children’s values and beliefs. There is no such thing as a spiritually neutral environment; every teacher and curriculum imparts a worldview. If Christ is not the foundation, then the formation is not harmless, but subtly (or overtly) opposed to God’s truth. [01:04:13]
- The Goal of Parenting and Education Is Discipleship
Our aim is not merely to raise successful, polite, or talented children, but to raise followers of Jesus who will stand firm in their faith and advance the gospel. Every subject—math, science, history, art—should be taught as part of God’s world, pointing children to His glory and sovereignty. What we prioritize today will shape what our children care about tomorrow. [01:11:21]
- Fathers Must Lead with Intentionality and Humility
Fathers are called to be the spiritual leaders of their homes, modeling a life surrendered to Christ. Passivity or neglect in this area leads to generational consequences, as children often inherit not only our faith but also our struggles and sins. The example set by a father deeply impacts the spiritual trajectory of the family. [01:13:31]
- The Gospel Empowers Our Calling
None of us fulfill this calling perfectly, but Christ has accomplished what we could not. Through repentance and faith, we are forgiven, made new, and empowered by the Spirit to disciple our children and serve the church. The Great Commission begins in our homes, and God’s grace is sufficient for our failures and our fears. [01:21:52]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[37:04] - Introduction and Announcements
[38:37] - God’s Design for Family and Marriage
[41:34] - The Spiritual Battle for the Next Generation
[44:56] - Reading Ephesians 6:4 and Deuteronomy 6
[49:30] - The Meaning of Discipline and Instruction
[52:02] - The Father’s Responsibility in Discipleship
[54:17] - The Danger of Outsourcing Spiritual Formation
[55:29] - The Call for Intentional Parenting
[57:56] - The Biblical Mandate for Parental Education
[59:18] - Education Is Never Neutral
[01:02:12] - The Influence of Worldview in Teaching
[01:04:13] - The Myth of Neutrality
[01:10:04] - The Goal of Education: Raising Disciples
[01:13:31] - The Power of a Father’s Example
[01:21:52] - Responding to the Call and Communion Preparation
[01:25:46] - Communion and Closing Prayer
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide
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### Bible Reading
- Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
- Deuteronomy 6:6-7
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
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### Observation Questions
1. In Ephesians 6:4, what two things are fathers commanded to bring their children up in? What do these words mean according to the sermon? [[49:30]]
2. According to Deuteronomy 6:6-7, when are parents supposed to teach their children about God’s commands? [[44:56]]
3. The sermon says, “Education is not separate from discipleship.” What examples did the pastor give to show how education shapes a child’s heart and worldview? [[49:30]]
4. What does the pastor say about the myth of neutrality in education? [[01:04:13]]
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### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does Paul specifically address fathers in Ephesians 6:4, and what does this suggest about their role in the spiritual life of the family? [[52:02]]
2. The sermon says that “every form of education is shaping our children’s values and beliefs.” How does this challenge the idea that school or other environments are spiritually neutral? [[59:18]]
3. According to Deuteronomy 6, what does it look like for discipleship to be woven into everyday life? How might this differ from only teaching children about God at church? [[55:57]]
4. The pastor mentions that if parents are not intentional, “something or someone else will disciple our children in our place.” What are some examples of this happening in today’s world? [[52:02]]
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### Application Questions
1. The sermon says, “The home is the God-ordained training ground for shaping hearts and minds.” What are some specific ways you can make your home a place where discipleship happens daily? [[52:02]]
2. Are you aware of what your children (or grandchildren) are being taught at school, in church, or online? What steps can you take this week to be more involved in their education and spiritual formation? [[53:09]]
3. The pastor warns against “outsourcing” spiritual formation to schools, churches, or culture. In what areas have you been tempted to let others take the lead in discipling your children? How can you reclaim that responsibility? [[54:17]]
4. The sermon says, “Education is never neutral.” How can you help your children (or those you influence) process what they learn through a biblical lens? [[59:18]]
5. Fathers are called to lead with intentionality and humility. If you are a father (or a spiritual father figure), what is one area where you need to be more intentional in leading your family spiritually? If you are not a father, how can you support or encourage the fathers and parents in your church? [[01:13:31]]
6. The pastor shared that children often inherit not only our faith but also our struggles and sins. What is one struggle or habit you want to break so it is not passed on to the next generation? What step can you take this week toward change? [[01:14:35]]
7. The sermon ends by reminding us that “the gospel empowers our calling.” When you feel like you have failed or are overwhelmed by this responsibility, how can you turn to Christ for forgiveness, strength, and a fresh start? [[01:21:52]]
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Devotional
Day 1: Discipleship Begins at Home
The foundation of a child’s spiritual and moral formation is laid within the home, not in the classroom or even the church. Parents, and especially fathers, are given the divine responsibility to intentionally shape their children’s hearts, minds, and souls in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. This is not a casual suggestion but a clear command from God, calling parents to be actively involved in every aspect of their children’s upbringing—academically, morally, and spiritually. If parents are not leading in this, someone or something else will fill that void, and the consequences will be seen in the next generation’s faith and worldview. [52:02]
Ephesians 6:4 (ESV)
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Reflection: In what specific ways can you become more intentional about leading your children or those in your care in both spiritual and everyday conversations this week?
Day 2: All of Life Is a Discipleship Opportunity
Discipleship is not limited to formal teaching moments; it is woven into the fabric of daily life. Every conversation, every routine, and every shared experience is an opportunity to point children toward God. Parents are called to teach diligently, integrating God’s Word into the rhythms of sitting at home, walking along the way, lying down, and rising up. This kind of training is intentional and persistent, shaping children’s understanding of who God is and how to follow Him in every circumstance. [55:57]
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (ESV)
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Reflection: What is one daily routine where you can intentionally incorporate conversations about God and His Word with your family?
Day 3: Education Is Never Neutral
Every form of education—whether academic, social, or spiritual—shapes a child’s worldview and values. There is no such thing as a neutral education; every lesson, every teacher, and every curriculum imparts a perspective about truth, purpose, and meaning. As parents, it is vital to be aware of what is being taught to your children and to ensure that Jesus is the foundation and center of all instruction. When God is removed from the foundation of knowledge, the result is not neutrality but rebellion, and parents must be the most vocal and involved influence in their children’s lives. [01:04:13]
Colossians 2:8 (ESV)
See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.
Reflection: What is one area of your child’s education or media intake that you need to examine more closely to ensure it aligns with a biblical worldview?
Day 4: The Goal of Education Is Discipleship
The ultimate purpose of all education and upbringing is not merely to produce successful adults, but to raise up followers of Jesus Christ. Every subject, every activity, and every pursuit should be ordered under the Lordship of Jesus, with the goal of forming hearts that love and serve Him. Parents are not called to simply raise polite or accomplished children, but to prepare them to stand firm in faith, proclaim the gospel, and advance God’s kingdom. What you allow your children to prioritize today will shape what they care about tomorrow. [01:11:21]
Proverbs 9:10 (ESV)
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.
Reflection: How can you reframe your family’s priorities so that every pursuit—academic, athletic, or artistic—serves the greater goal of discipleship in Christ?
Day 5: The Power and Grace of the Gospel for Families
No parent is perfect, and all of us have failed in some way to fulfill our God-given responsibilities. Yet the gospel reminds us that Jesus has done what we could never do—He lived a perfect life, died for our sins, and rose again to empower us by His Spirit. Through repentance and faith, we are forgiven, made new, and equipped to disciple our children and serve in the church. No matter your past, it is never too late to surrender your life and your family to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and to reclaim your role in shaping the next generation for His glory. [01:21:52]
2 Corinthians 5:21 (ESV)
For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
Reflection: Where do you need to receive God’s grace and power today so you can lead your family or community more faithfully in following Jesus?
Quotes
Discipleship begins at home. Again, just flip back over with me to Ephesians. Again, chapter 6, verse 4. I'm going to read it one more time. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Now, there's a lot of things that you could kind of highlight in this verse, but what I want to focus on first is fathers, the word fathers. And I really want to dig into what the Bible says the role of the father is in this passage. We see here their responsibility, the fathers. It's to bring up their children in the discipline and in the instruction of the Lord. Now, the word discipline, a lot of times when we think about that, we think about things like behavioral correction, right? Or like when you got a spanking when you were little, right? That kind of word discipline, that's how we think about it in a physical way. But the word discipline in the Greek is the word paideia. And paideia, it literally means the whole education of a child. That's what the Greek word means, the whole education of the child. So that includes morals. It includes character development. It includes the intellect of the mind, right? And so in classical Greek, this word, even when it was used outside the Bible, but of course inside the Bible, it was discussing the education as a whole. [00:46:31] (77 seconds)
And first, we have to see that discipleship of our kids, it's our primary calling. You have to understand that. You have to believe that. You have to be rooted in that. You have to be devoted to that. You are primary. You are the primary discipler of your kids. And then second, you have to see that their education, including academics, it is a tool that shapes their discipleship. [00:51:06] (18 seconds)
Listen, I want to be clear because the home is the primary means for a person's discipleship. If you're not doing that in the home, dads, if you're not leading in that, and again, I mean in all areas of education, someone else or something else is discipling your kids in your place. [00:52:15] (17 seconds)
You create the environment where discipline and instruction of the Lord either flourishes or it doesn't. In the end, you'll be held accountable when you stand before your heavenly father. He's not going to go to first grade teacher and say, Well, why did you do a bad job in the discipleship of John Doe? No, he's going to go to daddy. [00:52:47] (18 seconds)
Discipleship, again, the whole education of your children, it starts in the home, not in the classroom, not even in the church. It starts in your home, around the dinner table, during bedtime, everyday conversations. I hope you're talking to your kids, right? It's your responsibility to build your family rhythm around Jesus. That's the first point. Point number two, education is never neutral. Every form of education, you have to remember, it's all discipleship, right? It's all shaping the heart. It's all forming values. It's all building a certain worldview and the lives of your kids. And listen, remember, Paul, he's not just commanding parents to raise their children. [00:58:31] (41 seconds)
It's exactly why discipline and instruction, it begins at home. That's why dads are responsible for it. You're called to love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your might, right? Our memory verse. First, you do those things first yourself so that you can directly impact your kids in every way when it comes to the biblical worldview that you are giving them. But you can't have that if you've not been impacted first, if you're not loving the Lord with all of yourself. You're not meant to be neutral. The Bible commands you to do those things of the Lord with a biblical worldview. And here's the reality. Nothing is neutral. I heard a pastor say this once. Those who control education in this generation, they'll control the nation in the next. [01:03:29] (44 seconds)
Everything that your kid is involved in, it should be to make them a better follower of Jesus Christ. If it doesn't do that, you're wasting your time. I'm telling you. I can't tell you how many kids, how many young adults I have sat across from, how many parents as a youth minister and as a college minister, you think you got it figured out until they walk through life as an adult. [01:09:43] (22 seconds)
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