Discipleship: A Journey of Relationship, Not Rules
Summary
Today, we explored what it truly means to be a called disciple of Jesus. Many people hear the word “disciple” and immediately think of a long list of disciplines, rules, and exhausting efforts. But the heart of discipleship is not about striving or checking off boxes—it’s about relationship. Jesus invites us to walk with Him, to let Him fill us, and to allow His energy and presence to shape our lives. The story of the rich young man in Matthew 19 reminds us that even the most disciplined, well-behaved person can still sense something is missing if their heart is not surrendered to Christ.
The world often wants a simple formula for eternal life—one good deed, one habit, one rule to follow. But Scripture is clear: none of us are capable of earning our way to God. It is God who awakens our hearts, who calls us by name, and who invites us into relationship. The rich young man’s problem wasn’t his possessions, but his love for them. Jesus’ challenge was not about living without things, but about loving nothing more than Him. We cannot serve two masters; our love for Christ must come first, above family, hobbies, or wealth.
Following Jesus is not about religion or rule-keeping, but about a living, growing relationship. Just as a healthy marriage is built on knowing and loving one another, so our walk with Christ is about knowing Him through His Word and prayer, and letting the Holy Spirit lead us. We need both truth and the Spirit—Scripture grounds us, and the Spirit guides us. When we live in step with the Spirit, Jesus will always be first in our lives.
The invitation is simple but profound: do you love Jesus enough to go deeper? Are you willing to let go of anything that keeps you from following Him wholeheartedly? This is not a call to guilt, but to growth—a call to become vibrant followers, to invest in our relationship with Christ, and to let Him shape every part of our lives.
Key Takeaways
- Discipleship is not about effort, but about relationship. The energy to follow Jesus comes from Him, not from our own striving. When we focus on walking with Christ, He empowers us to live as vibrant followers, making the journey less about what we do and more about who we are with Him. [26:04]
- We are incapable of earning our way to God. No amount of good deeds or rule-keeping can secure eternal life. It is God who awakens our hearts and calls us by name, inviting us into a relationship that we could never achieve on our own. [33:22]
- The true test of discipleship is what we love most. Jesus does not demand that we live without possessions or relationships, but He does require that nothing comes before Him. Our priorities—revealed by our time, money, and attention—show whether Christ is truly our King. [37:47]
- Following Jesus is a relationship, not a religion. Rules and disciplines have their place, but they flow from a living relationship with Christ. Just as we grow in understanding and love in human relationships, so we grow as disciples by knowing Jesus through His Word and by listening to His Spirit. [49:04]
- Growth as a disciple requires both truth and the Spirit. Immersing ourselves in Scripture grounds us in truth, while prayer and the Spirit’s leading keep us in step with Jesus. Only by combining both can we become vibrant followers who put Christ first in every area of life. [54:05]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[26:04] - Discipleship: Not About Effort
[27:04] - Jesus Wants to Fill You
[28:16] - The Rich Young Man’s Question
[29:26] - Keeping the Commandments
[30:45] - The World’s Search for One Good Deed
[33:22] - Our Inability and God’s Call
[34:34] - Awakening to God’s Call
[35:20] - The Real Issue: The Heart, Not Possessions
[37:47] - Loving Nothing More Than Jesus
[41:18] - Modern Distractions and Priorities
[45:57] - Serving One Master
[49:04] - Relationship Over Rules
[54:05] - Growing Through Scripture and Prayer
[56:01] - The Need to Be Spirit-Led
[58:48] - Invitation to Disciple Huddles
[01:01:11] - Closing Prayer and Commitment
Study Guide
Small Group Bible Study Guide: Called Discipleship—Relationship Over Rules
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### Bible Reading
Matthew 19:16-22 (ESV)
> And behold, a man came up to him, saying, “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?” And he said to him, “Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.” He said to him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “You shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The young man said to him, “All these I have kept. What do I still lack?” Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.
Romans 3:10-12 (ESV)
> As it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.”
Galatians 5:24-25 (ESV)
> And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.
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### Observation Questions
1. What question does the rich young man ask Jesus, and how does Jesus respond? (Matthew 19:16-19)
2. According to the sermon, what was the real issue for the rich young man—his possessions or something deeper? [[37:19]]
3. What does Romans 3:10-12 say about our ability to do good or seek God on our own?
4. In Galatians 5:24-25, what does it mean to “keep in step with the Spirit”?
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### Interpretation Questions
1. Why do you think the rich young man went away sad after Jesus’ invitation? What does this reveal about his heart and priorities? [[37:47]]
2. The sermon says, “We are incapable of earning our way to God.” How does this challenge the way people often think about being “good enough” for God? [[33:22]]
3. The pastor compared following Jesus to a marriage relationship, not a list of rules. What does this analogy help us understand about discipleship? [[49:04]]
4. What does it look like in real life to “keep in step with the Spirit” and let Jesus be first in every area? [[54:05]]
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### Application Questions
1. The rich young man’s love for his possessions kept him from following Jesus wholeheartedly. Is there anything in your life—possessions, hobbies, relationships—that you might be loving more than Jesus? How can you tell? [[41:18]]
2. The sermon said, “You give me your calendar and your checkbook and I’ll tell you the priorities in your life.” If someone looked at your time and spending, what would they say you love most? Is there anything you want to change? [[41:18]]
3. The pastor shared about missing family events because of his call to ministry. Have you ever had to put Jesus first, even when it cost you something? What was that like? [[45:57]]
4. The sermon emphasized that discipleship is about relationship, not just rules. What are some practical ways you can invest in your relationship with Jesus this week? (For example: time in prayer, reading Scripture, listening for the Spirit’s leading.) [[54:05]]
5. The pastor said, “If the Spirit leads me, Jesus will always be first.” Are there areas where you struggle to let the Spirit lead? What would it look like to surrender those areas to God? [[56:01]]
6. The invitation was not to guilt, but to growth. What is one step you can take this week to go deeper in your walk with Jesus? [[01:01:11]]
7. The sermon asked, “Do you love Jesus enough to go deeper?” What does “going deeper” look like for you right now? Is there something you sense God inviting you to let go of or pick up? [[01:01:11]]
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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Ask God to help you love Him above all else, to show you anything that is getting in the way, and to give you the desire and strength to follow Jesus wholeheartedly.
Devotional
Day 1: Eternal Life Is Not Earned by Good Deeds
Many people seek assurance of eternal life through good behavior or religious rule-keeping, but Jesus teaches that entering into life is not about checking off a list of good deeds; it is about responding to God’s call and following Him wholeheartedly. The rich young man in Matthew 19 had kept all the commandments, yet still sensed something was missing, revealing that salvation is not about our efforts but about a relationship with Christ. [28:16]
Matthew 19:16-22 (ESV)
And behold, a man came up to him, saying, “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?” And he said to him, “Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.” He said to him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “You shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The young man said to him, “All these I have kept. What do I still lack?” Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.
Reflection: Is there an area of your life where you are relying on your own good works or religious habits for assurance, rather than trusting in Jesus’ invitation to follow Him?
Day 2: We Are Incapable of Saving Ourselves
Scripture makes it clear that no one is righteous or able to do enough good to earn God’s favor; our salvation begins with God’s initiative, not our own, as He awakens our hearts and calls us by name. Recognizing our inability to save ourselves humbles us and opens us to receive the grace and power that only Christ can provide, shifting our focus from self-effort to dependence on Him. [33:22]
Romans 3:10-12 (ESV)
As it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.”
Reflection: In what ways do you need to surrender your self-reliance and ask God to awaken your heart to His calling today?
Day 3: Nothing Should Be Loved More Than Jesus
Jesus calls His followers to love Him above all else, refusing to let possessions, hobbies, or even family take first place in our hearts; anything we love more than Christ becomes an obstacle to true discipleship. The challenge is not to give up all we have, but to examine our priorities and be willing to let go of anything that competes with our devotion to Jesus, making Him our one true King. [37:47]
Matthew 6:24 (ESV)
“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.”
Reflection: What is one thing—whether a possession, relationship, or pursuit—that you are tempted to love or prioritize above Jesus, and how can you intentionally put Him first today?
Day 4: Following Jesus Is a Relationship, Not a Religion
Being a disciple is not about rigidly following rules or religious routines, but about cultivating a living, growing relationship with Jesus, where the Spirit guides and transforms us from the inside out. Just as a healthy marriage grows through intimacy and communication, so our walk with Christ deepens as we spend time with Him, listen to His voice, and respond to His love, rather than simply performing religious duties. [50:07]
John 15:4-5 (ESV)
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”
Reflection: How can you shift your focus from religious performance to deepening your personal relationship with Jesus this week?
Day 5: Growing as a Disciple Requires Scripture, Prayer, and the Spirit
A vibrant follower of Jesus grows by immersing themselves in God’s Word, engaging in prayer, and staying in step with the Holy Spirit, allowing both truth and Spirit to shape their life. When we are led by the Spirit and grounded in Scripture, we are empowered to put Jesus first and live out our calling as disciples, experiencing transformation and fruitfulness in every area of life. [57:26]
Galatians 5:24-25 (ESV)
And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.
Reflection: What practical step can you take today to grow in both God’s Word and prayer, inviting the Holy Spirit to lead you more fully?
Quotes
``Because some of you may have been lying to yourself for a lot of years. We are incapable of doing good. The Bible says so. Listen to what it says in Romans chapter 3. As it is written, none is righteous, no, not one, no one understands, no one seeks for God. All have turned aside, together they have become worthless, no one does good, not even one. We are so lost, so depraved, so out of touch, that we don't even have enough good in us to seek the Lord. [00:32:45] (50 seconds)
No, we woke up one day because we recognized God calling us by name, the Scripture says. God reaches to us and He awakens us. That's hope's mission. To awaken hearts to Jesus. Every day. Everyone. Everywhere. To awaken. This young man had followed a bunch of rules. He had all kinds of good behavior in his life. But he needed to awaken. He needed to recognize God's call on his life. There was more that he was missing. [00:34:01] (54 seconds)
And so Jesus says to him, if you would be perfect, and that doesn't mean without sin, that just means you want to get this completely right? You go, sell what you possess, and give to the poor. And you will have treasure in heaven, and come, follow me. When the young man heard this, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. Now I've heard many a message on this passage of Scripture, on this story. I've heard many examples that included this young man. [00:34:55] (55 seconds)
He's talking to him about his heart. He's saying to him, you go, get rid of that stuff, and follow me. Give it to the poor. You don't need it if you're going to follow God. Me. Now the man went away sorrowful. Have you ever asked why? He said, well, yeah, he didn't want to get rid of his stuff. That could be part of it. But I think another part of it is he loved that stuff. He loved it too much to part with it. [00:36:58] (49 seconds)
He loved too much to give it to the poor. And if he had to do that, he couldn't follow Jesus. What's the punchline here? We cannot love anything more than Jesus. That would have been a hearty amen in some places. There it is. We can't love anything, anybody. That's what Jesus said. Jesus doesn't preach about living without possessions. He preaches about the fact that you can't love more than one king in your life. [00:37:47] (43 seconds)
We love way too many things more than we love Jesus. We spend time on way too much more than we do on Jesus. We spend way more money on stuff than we do on Jesus. Heard a preacher say one time and I think it's right. You give me your calendar and your checkbook and I'll tell you the priorities in your life. I don't even have to know you. But you give me those two things and I'll know what you love the most. [00:41:21] (45 seconds)
You don't have to worry about all the disciplines in your life. The Spirit in you will help you live in relationship to Christ. You'll get it right if you just stay in relationship with Jesus. It's not rules. It's relationship. You see that little graphic in your bulletin? Looks like this. See that? Why don't you take a look at that real quick? There are four quadrants that we could land in. This is just a little measurement for yourself. Well, this is for you to take a little gut check this morning. [00:50:34] (52 seconds)
To have the word in my life and the Holy Spirit indwelling me, speaking to me, leading me. This is our goal. This is where vibrant followers live. And number four tells us this. We grow in relationship through scripture and prayer. We can grow in relationship as we come to know Jesus. We need to know him. We need to know what Jesus says. I grew up in church my whole life and college was a real awakening for me because I got serious about Bible study. I got serious about what God's word says. [00:53:50] (60 seconds)
Number five, we must be Spirit -led. We have got to stay in the Spirit. Let me give you a clue. If you walk in the Spirit, if the Spirit indwells you and gives you guidance, you will always put Jesus first. You can't tell me you could be purple in the face. You would never convince me. That the Holy Spirit would ever put something earthly ahead of Jesus Christ. Won't happen. Can't happen. So if the Spirit leads me, Jesus will always be first. [00:56:28] (52 seconds)
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