Deepening Intimacy: The Journey of Knowing Each Other

Devotional

Sermon Summary

Sermon Clips

"I've always been impressed by the fact that when the Old Testament speaks of intimacy and of sexual intimacy it frequently uses the verb 'to know.' For example, the Bible might say that Abraham knew his wife, and she conceived; or Adam knew his wife, and she conceived. And we hear that expression, and I've wondered why is it? Is it because the biblical writers are embarrassed to say the word that they go to euphemisms, circumlocution, ways of getting around being graphic or sexually explicit?" [00:17:08]

"It's using that verb 'to know' to communicate the deepest level of human intimacy, and that's because for intimacy to happen, whether it's physical or emotional or spiritual, knowledge has to take place. You cannot really experience intimacy with a stranger." [00:82:90]

"Now that's a natural thing to have happen in a dating relationship, but what creates the kind of love that builds permanent marriage is when that process of knowing one another deepens and continues and continues and continues because that is absolutely necessary for intimacy to take place." [00:292:52]

"So the principle is this: that if we are to experience intimacy we have to get to know our partners. It's that simple. Knowledge is a requirement. Marriage cannot be continued and sustained on feelings alone. Knowledge has to happen. I must know my wife. She must get to know me, but for us to learn anything, to know anything in depth, we have to study." [00:351:40]

"We have bought into a myth that tells us that happy marriages come from doing what comes naturally -- that somehow we will learn to know our mate through osmosis. Now there are certain things that we can learn about people just from being around them. We may begin to notice their little habits of how they walk and how they dress and how they react." [00:636:69]

"We can know a lot about God from looking at creation. Creation gives us clues as to the identity of God and the character of God, but we don't really know God intimately until God speaks, until God chooses to reveal himself and tell us what's inside." [00:767:48]

"And so if you want to know your husband and you want your husband to know you, you have to talk, and you have to talk about stuff besides the weather. You've got to talk about what's going on down there. We have to get to what I call the second level of communication, not just commonplace reactions, but down into how we feel about things. That's when intimacy starts to take place." [00:793:69]

"What I call 'My Mail Order Partner' game. You know when you go into a car -- car lot -- and you want to buy a new car, you walk into the dealership, and first thing they tell you is that they have seven or eight different models, and you have to figure that out. And then each model comes with 150 possible factory options, and so that the combinations that you can order for a car just boggle the mind -- all the different things." [00:910:74]

"What five would you choose? Now when I ask my wife that question, 'What five would you choose if you could have the perfect husband? What five options would you want? What are you looking for?' What she is doing when she answers that question is expresses to me her felt needs." [00:1023:10]

"We need to know what those felt needs are, and as much as is within us, we have to endeavor to meet the needs of our partners, and that's where communication is absolutely vital. I joke about this and laugh about this, but if you want to test how well you're communicating your feelings and your needs to your partner, look at your Christmas presents." [00:1347:99]

"But there is no more variety, nothing more provocative, nothing more fascinating than a human soul. We can say that people look like each other, but every single person has a unique personality, and there is no such thing under God's heaven as a dull person once we get beneath the surface." [00:1589:70]

"And so it's fun to learn to know another person intimately. It enriches their life, and it enriches our lives." [00:1626:58]

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