Dating with Purpose: A Theological Approach to Love

 

Summary

Love is a profound and sometimes daunting journey, exposing the deepest parts of ourselves that we often wish to keep hidden. Yet, we are inherently designed for connection, and this is especially true when it comes to dating in the light of Jesus Christ. Today, we explore what it means to date with a theological perspective, integrating our romantic pursuits with our discipleship to Jesus.

Dating is not merely a pursuit for those who are single and searching; it is a journey for everyone, whether married, single, or in a long-term relationship. The Church often elevates marriage as the ultimate form of connection, but the fullness of God can be equally expressed through singleness. Jesus himself, who was single, never provided a detailed model for dating. Instead, the Bible offers insights into who God is and how we should date in light of Him.

Our view of dating should be theological, meaning it should reflect the virtues and realities of scripture. Dating is not isolated from our walk with Christ; it is an integral part of it. As we follow Jesus, we are called to love God and our neighbor, embodying Christ's nature in our relationships. This love is not about saying the "L-word" on the first date but about seeing others through the eyes of Christ, treating them with respect, care, and grace.

Dating with Jesus involves letting values lead. It requires humility and a willingness to learn from others, recognizing that dating is an opportunity for growth and maturity. Conversations about values are crucial, as they provide a foundation for how we orient our relationships.

Moreover, dating with Jesus should be purposeful, not pressured. It should be marked by joy, discovery, and friendship, rather than unrealistic expectations and stress. The joy of the Lord should infuse every area of our discipleship, including dating.

Ultimately, dating as a follower of Christ is about stepping into love with courage, embracing the journey with Jesus, and allowing Him to sanctify all our relationships through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Key Takeaways:

- Theological Perspective on Dating: Dating should be viewed through a theological lens, integrating our romantic pursuits with our discipleship to Jesus. It is not isolated from our walk with Christ but is an integral part of it. [04:12]

- Loving Your Neighbor in Dating: Dating with Jesus involves loving your date as your neighbor, seeing them through the eyes of Christ, and treating them with respect, care, and grace. This shift in focus changes the way we approach dating. [15:24]

- Letting Values Lead: Dating with Jesus requires letting values lead, engaging in conversations about shared values, and recognizing dating as an opportunity for growth and maturity. [19:49]

- Purposeful, Not Pressured: Dating should be purposeful and marked by joy, discovery, and friendship, rather than unrealistic expectations and stress. The joy of the Lord should infuse every area of our discipleship, including dating. [22:00]

- Stepping into Love with Courage: Dating as a follower of Christ is about stepping into love with courage, embracing the journey with Jesus, and allowing Him to sanctify all our relationships through the power of the Holy Spirit. [29:06]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [04:12] - Dating in Light of Christ
- [08:40] - The Call to Follow Jesus
- [10:44] - Compartmentalizing Our Faith
- [13:03] - Loving God and Neighbor
- [15:24] - Seeing Dates as Neighbors
- [19:49] - Letting Values Lead
- [22:00] - Purposeful, Not Pressured
- [26:14] - Joy in Dating
- [29:06] - Stepping into Love with Courage

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: Dating in Light of Christ

Bible Reading:
1. Matthew 4:18-22
2. Mark 12:28-31
3. Philippians 2:3-5

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Observation Questions:

1. In Matthew 4:18-22, what actions did the disciples take when Jesus called them, and how might this relate to the concept of following Christ in all areas of life, including dating? [08:40]

2. According to Mark 12:28-31, what are the two greatest commandments, and how do they relate to the idea of loving your date as your neighbor? [13:03]

3. How does Philippians 2:3-5 describe the attitude we should have towards others, and how can this be applied to dating with Jesus? [19:49]

4. What humorous biblical models for dating were mentioned in the sermon, and what point was the pastor trying to make with these examples? [04:12]

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Interpretation Questions:

1. How does the call to follow Jesus in Matthew 4:18-22 challenge the way we approach our relationships, including dating? What might it mean to "drop everything" in the context of dating? [08:40]

2. In what ways does loving your neighbor as yourself, as described in Mark 12:28-31, transform the way we view and treat our dating partners? [13:03]

3. How can the values of humility and considering others more significant than ourselves, as mentioned in Philippians 2:3-5, influence the dynamics of a dating relationship? [19:49]

4. The sermon suggests that dating should be purposeful and joyful rather than pressured. How does this perspective align with the biblical passages discussed, and what implications does it have for our dating lives? [22:00]

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on your current or past dating experiences. How have you integrated your faith into these relationships, and what changes might you make to align more closely with the idea of dating with Jesus? [10:44]

2. Consider a time when you felt pressured in a dating relationship. How can you shift your focus to make dating more about joy, discovery, and friendship, as suggested in the sermon? [22:00]

3. Identify a specific value that is important to you in a relationship. How can you initiate conversations about this value with your current or future dating partner to ensure alignment and growth? [19:49]

4. Think about someone you are currently dating or considering dating. How can you practice seeing them through the eyes of Christ, treating them with respect, care, and grace? [15:24]

5. The sermon encourages stepping into love with courage. What is one courageous step you can take in your dating life this week, whether it's asking someone out, having a difficult conversation, or setting a boundary? [29:06]

6. How can you support friends who are dating, especially those who might feel pressured by societal or church expectations? What practical steps can you take to encourage them in their journey with Christ? [29:06]

7. Reflect on the idea of dating as part of your discipleship journey. What specific actions can you take to ensure that your dating life is integrated with your walk with Christ, rather than compartmentalized? [10:44]

Devotional

Day 1: Dating as Discipleship
Dating is not separate from our spiritual journey; it is a part of our discipleship to Jesus. When we view dating through a theological lens, we integrate our romantic pursuits with our walk with Christ. This perspective encourages us to see dating as an opportunity to grow in our faith and to express the virtues and realities of scripture in our relationships. By aligning our dating life with our spiritual values, we ensure that our actions and intentions reflect our commitment to following Jesus. This approach transforms dating from a mere social activity into a meaningful expression of our faith. [04:12]

"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." (Ephesians 2:10, ESV)

Reflection: How can you intentionally integrate your faith into your dating life today, ensuring that your actions reflect your commitment to following Jesus?


Day 2: Seeing Others Through Christ's Eyes
Dating with Jesus involves loving your date as your neighbor, seeing them through the eyes of Christ, and treating them with respect, care, and grace. This shift in focus changes the way we approach dating, moving from self-centered desires to a Christ-centered love. By embodying Christ's nature in our relationships, we honor the inherent dignity and worth of the other person. This approach not only enriches our dating experiences but also deepens our understanding of what it means to love as Jesus loves. [15:24]

"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:4, ESV)

Reflection: Think of a recent interaction with someone you are dating or interested in. How can you better see and treat them through the eyes of Christ today?


Day 3: Values as the Foundation
Dating with Jesus requires letting values lead, engaging in conversations about shared values, and recognizing dating as an opportunity for growth and maturity. When values guide our relationships, we create a strong foundation that supports mutual respect and understanding. These conversations about values are crucial as they help us align our lives with our faith and ensure that our relationships are built on principles that honor God. By prioritizing values, we open ourselves to growth and maturity, both individually and as a couple. [19:49]

"Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet?" (Amos 3:3, ESV)

Reflection: What are the core values that you want to prioritize in your dating life, and how can you initiate a conversation about these values with someone you are dating?


Day 4: Purposeful and Joyful Dating
Dating should be purposeful and marked by joy, discovery, and friendship, rather than unrealistic expectations and stress. The joy of the Lord should infuse every area of our discipleship, including dating. When we approach dating with a sense of purpose and joy, we allow ourselves to experience the beauty of discovery and the richness of friendship. This perspective helps us to release the pressure of unrealistic expectations and to embrace the journey with an open heart. By focusing on joy and purpose, we create a dating experience that is both fulfilling and spiritually enriching. [22:00]

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." (Proverbs 17:22, ESV)

Reflection: How can you bring more joy and purpose into your dating experiences, ensuring that they are marked by discovery and friendship rather than stress and unrealistic expectations?


Day 5: Courageous Love
Dating as a follower of Christ is about stepping into love with courage, embracing the journey with Jesus, and allowing Him to sanctify all our relationships through the power of the Holy Spirit. This courageous love requires us to be vulnerable and open to the transformative work of the Spirit in our lives. By embracing this journey with Jesus, we invite Him to shape and sanctify our relationships, making them a reflection of His love and grace. This approach to dating not only deepens our connection with others but also strengthens our relationship with God. [29:06]

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9, ESV)

Reflection: What is one area of your dating life where you need to step into love with courage, and how can you invite Jesus to sanctify this area through the power of the Holy Spirit?

Quotes

"Love exposes those parts of ourselves we hope no one would have to encounter. But though love is risky, we were made for it. We were made for connection. Today, we're diving into what does it mean to date in light of the love of Jesus Christ." [00:00:02] (18 seconds)


"If you're single and not planning on dating, but living a celibate lifestyle, you should still understand how our relationship with God helps us understand romantic love so that you can cheer on healthy and godly romantic relationships." [00:04:37] (15 seconds)


"The Church can quickly pedestal human marriage as the end-all, be-all of connection when in reality the fullness of God can be expressed just as much through singleness. After all, God himself was single when he roamed the earth in human flesh." [00:05:13] (17 seconds)


"Following Jesus costs us something. Not just something, everything. When we respond to a call, to walk with him in this life, everything that we have, who we are, even our relationships are suddenly wrapped up in this journey alongside him." [00:10:01] (21 seconds)


"When we say yes to Jesus, we're not saying yes to a compartmentalized God for our convenience, but to an all-encompassing God who is with you in all things. Peter in Acts 10 reminds us that Christ is Lord of all, even the Lord of your romantic relationships." [00:11:38] (23 seconds)


"Loving your date as your neighbor is an imitation of Jesus. And let me be clear, they are your neighbor. And when this shift of focus takes hold within us, it will change the way we go about dating." [00:15:16] (15 seconds)


"Dating with Jesus is learning to love our neighbor. Dating with Jesus is also letting values lead. Paul says in Philippians 2, 3, through 5 do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." [00:17:11] (21 seconds)


"Dating with purpose says, let's learn, let's grow, let's enjoy each other, let's grow together. It's the direct antithesis of a performative, pressured, based relationship. When you step into the joy of following Jesus and let the simple fidelity of life with him enter your dating relationships, there's no guarantee." [00:25:37] (26 seconds)


"God does not promise you a spouse or that the next date is the one. But when you abide in him with dating, you discover the joy and fidelity with Christ himself. May we all long for a simple and purposeful faith in and out of dating relationships." [00:26:23] (23 seconds)


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Transcript
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