Cultivating Self-Control: Tuning Our Hearts to Christ

Today, we gathered in the presence of God, reminded that no matter how we arrived or what our week held, there is joy, community, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit available to us. Our hearts were called to worship with gratitude, remembering the faithfulness of God and the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ. As we reflected on communion, we were challenged to shift our focus from our own worthiness to the work and person of Jesus, who gave His life not to condemn, but to save. This act of remembrance is not about our failures, but about His grace, mercy, and the new life He offers.

We continued our journey through the fruits of the Spirit, focusing on self-control. Rather than viewing self-control as mere behavior modification or willpower, we explored a deeper, Spirit-formed reality. Drawing from the stories of Ulysses and Orpheus, we saw that true transformation is not about tying ourselves down with rules, but about having our hearts captivated by a more beautiful song—the melody of heaven. The Holy Spirit tunes our hearts to the beauty of Christ, reorienting our desires and longings away from the empty promises of the world and toward the fullness of life in Jesus.

Self-control, then, begins with what we love. Like the psalmist who thirsts for God, our desires drive our actions. If our hearts are set on the things of the world, we remain unsatisfied and broken. But when we long for God, the Spirit empowers us to resist lesser loves and to be filled with peace and wholeness. This fruit of the Spirit grows through daily surrender and intentional practice. It is not a passive drift, nor a magical transformation, but a daily choice to walk by the Spirit, to crucify our old desires, and to allow God to shape us from the inside out.

Practical steps were offered: pausing before acting, honestly naming our desires before God, practicing small daily disciplines, fixing our focus on the things of heaven, and beginning each day with a prayer of surrender. The invitation is to give the Holy Spirit access to every part of our lives, allowing Him to form in us a melody of grace that drowns out the stale songs of the world. May our lives be shaped not by restraint alone, but by a deep longing for the way of Jesus, so that we become Spirit-shaped followers who reflect His love and self-control in all we do.

Key Takeaways

• 1. Self-control is not about behavior modification, but about desire transformation. The Spirit cultivates in us holy longings that redirect our hearts from the empty promises of the world to the fullness found in Christ. When our love is rightly ordered, self-control becomes a natural outflow of a heart captivated by God. [31:28]
• 2. The stories of Ulysses and Orpheus illustrate two approaches to temptation: mere restraint versus being captivated by a better song. True freedom from the world’s “sirens” comes not from tying ourselves down with rules, but from allowing the Holy Spirit to fill us with a greater love for Jesus, making the world’s temptations lose their appeal. [29:53]
• 3. Our desires and longings are the soil from which self-control grows. If we are honest about what we thirst for and bring those desires before God, the Spirit can transform and reorder them. This honest self-examination is the starting point for real spiritual growth and lasting change. [40:29]
• 4. Self-control matures through daily surrender and intentional practice. The Spirit does not force obedience but forms it over time as we repeatedly lay down our desires, habits, and strongholds at the cross. This process requires active participation—naming, surrendering, and practicing new habits in cooperation with the Spirit. [49:33]
• 5. Practical steps for cultivating self-control include pausing before acting, naming desires honestly, practicing small disciplines, fixing our focus on heavenly things, and daily surrender. These practices create space for the Spirit to work, tuning our hearts to the melody of heaven and forming us into people who reflect Christ’s self-control. [54:51]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [03:57] - Call to Worship and Psalm 95
• [07:24] - God’s Faithfulness in Song
• [08:40] - Communion: Remembering Jesus
• [09:44] - John 3 and the Gift of Salvation
• [12:13] - Open Communion Invitation
• [18:44] - Remembering Christ’s Sacrifice
• [24:14] - Community Announcements
• [25:32] - Introduction to Self-Control
• [27:44] - The Sirens: Restraint vs. Desire
• [29:53] - The Better Song: Orpheus and the Spirit
• [32:47] - Galatians 5: The Fruit of the Spirit
• [35:06] - Self-Control Begins with What We Love
• [45:40] - Self-Control Grows Through Surrender and Practice
• [54:19] - Practical Steps for Cultivating Self-Control
• [59:58] - Closing Prayer and Invitation

Bible Reading

Galatians 5:22-25 (ESV) — > But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.

Observation Questions

1. According to Galatians 5:22-25, what are the “fruits of the Spirit” and how is self-control described as part of this list?
2. In the sermon, what is the difference between “behavior modification” and “desire transformation” when it comes to self-control? [[31:28]]
3. The pastor shared two stories from Greek mythology—Ulysses and Orpheus. What did each do to deal with the sirens, and how do these stories illustrate different approaches to temptation? [[29:53]]
4. What practical steps did the pastor suggest for cultivating self-control in our daily lives? [[54:51]]

Interpretation Questions

1. The sermon says self-control is not just about willpower or following rules, but about having our hearts “captivated by a more beautiful song”—the melody of heaven. What does it mean for the Holy Spirit to “tune our hearts to the beauty of Christ”? [[31:28]]
2. The pastor said, “Self-control begins with what we love.” How does what we desire or long for shape our actions and choices, according to both the sermon and Galatians 5? [[35:06]]
3. The message emphasized that self-control grows through “daily surrender and intentional practice.” What does it look like to “walk by the Spirit” instead of just trying harder on our own? [[49:33]]
4. The sermon mentioned that the Holy Spirit doesn’t force obedience but forms it over time. How does this process of formation differ from simply trying to be a “well-behaved Christian”? [[50:24]]

Application Questions

1. The pastor challenged us to pause before acting and to create “holy space” between impulse and response. Can you think of a recent situation where you acted on impulse? How might pausing and inviting the Holy Spirit in have changed your response? [[54:51]]
2. One practical step was to “honestly name our desires before God.” Is there a desire or longing in your life right now that you need to bring into the light with God? What would it look like to do that this week? [[55:47]]
3. The sermon encouraged practicing small daily disciplines, like not starting the day with social media or limiting certain habits. What is one small discipline you could try this week to help cultivate self-control? [[56:42]]
4. The message said, “Self-control is not just restraint, but the formation of our souls toward the way of Jesus.” Is there an area of your life where you’ve been relying on rules or willpower instead of inviting the Spirit to transform your desires? What would it look like to surrender that area? [[51:46]]
5. The pastor asked, “What are you thirsting for today?” and “What do your choices reveal about what you love the most?” Take a look at your calendar, spending, or habits—what do they say about your deepest desires? Is there anything you want to reorient toward God? [[43:35]]
6. The sermon suggested starting each day with a prayer: “Spirit, would you direct my desires? Would you reorder my loves and teach me to walk in your way today?” Would you be willing to pray this each morning this week? How might this change your day? [[58:37]]
7. The pastor said, “We don’t want to just be well-behaved Christians, but spirit-shaped Christians.” What’s one area where you want to move from just “behaving” to being truly transformed by the Spirit? [[01:00:48]]