Crucifying the Flesh: Embracing Spiritual Freedom

Summary

The story of King David and his son Absalom in 2 Samuel 18 offers a powerful picture of the struggle between our spiritual calling and the persistent pull of our flesh. David, a man after God’s own heart, found himself mourning over a son who had become a threat not only to his throne but to the very kingdom God entrusted to him. Absalom, with his charm, good looks, and influence, represents the part of us that is attractive and appealing, yet rebellious and destructive. The tragedy is that David’s love for Absalom blinded him to the danger his son posed, just as we often cling to attitudes, habits, or relationships that are slowly undermining our spiritual lives.

The flesh, like Absalom, wars against the Spirit. It is not something to be coddled or treated gently, but something that must be confronted and crucified. Jesus’ words in Mark 9—if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off—remind us that radical action is sometimes necessary. We cannot negotiate with the flesh or hope it will simply fade away. Whatever we tolerate in our lives, whatever we refuse to judge or surrender, will eventually dominate us.

God, in His mercy, sends the Holy Spirit—our Joab—to confront us, to rebuke us, and to help us put to death the deeds of the body. Conviction is not rejection; it is the loving discipline of a Father who wants to see us free and whole. Sometimes, this means letting go of relationships, habits, or even cherished parts of our identity that are incompatible with God’s purpose for us. The stakes are high—not just for our own souls, but for the people God has called us to influence and serve. Our sanctification is not just about us; it is about the kingdom, about our families, and about the testimony we bear to the world.

Victory over the flesh is possible—not by our own strength, but by the power of the Spirit who raised Christ from the dead. We are called to stop mourning over what needs to die, to surrender our Absaloms, and to step into the fullness of life and purpose God has for us.

Key Takeaways

- The things we cling to—habits, attitudes, relationships—can become spiritual liabilities if they are not surrendered to God. Like David with Absalom, our emotional attachments can blind us to the destructive power of what we refuse to let go. True spiritual growth requires honest self-examination and the courage to release what is holding us back. [06:23]

- The flesh is not a minor inconvenience but a real enemy to our spiritual life. Scripture teaches that the flesh and the Spirit are at war, and anything we tolerate in our flesh will eventually dominate us. Crucifying the flesh is not a one-time event but a daily, sometimes painful, process of surrender and obedience. [13:54]

- God’s discipline and conviction are signs of His love, not His rejection. When the Holy Spirit confronts us, it is to align us with God’s heart and purpose, not to shame us. Embracing conviction as a gift allows us to experience deeper transformation and freedom. [27:27]

- Our sanctification is not just about personal holiness but about the greater kingdom purpose God has for our lives. The choices we make, the things we surrender, and the victories we win have ripple effects on our families, our church, and the world around us. A divided heart cannot lead a united kingdom; our obedience unlocks breakthrough for others. [31:50]

- Victory over the flesh is possible through the power of the Holy Spirit. We are not left to fight this battle alone; the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead empowers us to crucify our Absaloms and live in freedom. The call is to stop faltering between two opinions and to decisively choose to serve God with our whole hearts. [34:22]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[01:06] - The Lord of the Rings and Smeagol: A Parable of Clinging
[02:10] - The Ring’s Destruction and Our Attachments
[03:24] - David’s Mourning and the Danger of Holding On
[06:23] - Absalom: The Allure and Rebellion of the Flesh
[13:54] - Jesus’ Radical Call to Crucify the Flesh
[17:11] - Aaron’s Sons: When God Says No
[18:54] - Joab’s Rebuke and the Work of the Spirit
[23:13] - Letting Go of Relationships That Hinder
[26:02] - The Spirit’s Confrontation and Conviction
[27:27] - The Loving Discipline of God
[31:50] - The Bigger Picture: Sanctification for the Kingdom
[34:22] - Victory Is Possible: The Spirit Empowers Us
[35:35] - Invitation to Repentance and New Life
[40:35] - Responding to God’s Call at the Altar

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: Surrendering Our Absaloms
*(Based on the sermon: The Struggle Between Spirit and Flesh)*

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### Bible Reading

- 2 Samuel 18:5, 14, 18 (The story of David and Absalom)
- Galatians 5:16-25 (The war between flesh and Spirit)
- Mark 9:43-47 (Jesus’ call to radical action against sin)

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### Observation Questions

1. In 2 Samuel 18, what specific instructions did David give to his generals regarding Absalom, and how did Joab respond? ([03:24])
2. According to Galatians 5, what is the relationship between the flesh and the Spirit? How does Paul describe their interaction? ([06:23])
3. What radical action does Jesus command in Mark 9 for dealing with sin, and how does this compare to David’s approach to Absalom? ([13:54])
4. In the sermon, what are some examples given of things we might cling to that can become spiritual liabilities? ([23:13])

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### Interpretation Questions

1. Why do you think David’s love for Absalom blinded him to the danger his son posed, both to himself and to the kingdom? What does this reveal about the power of emotional attachments? ([03:24])
2. The sermon compares Absalom to the “flesh” in our own lives. In what ways can something attractive or appealing also be destructive to our spiritual health? ([06:23])
3. The pastor said, “Whatever you tolerate will eventually dominate.” How does this principle play out in the story of David and Absalom, and how might it apply to our own lives? ([13:54])
4. The Holy Spirit is compared to Joab, who confronts and rebukes David. How should we respond when the Holy Spirit convicts us about something we need to surrender? ([27:27])

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### Application Questions

1. Is there an “Absalom” in your life—an attitude, habit, relationship, or desire—that you know is pulling you away from God, but you’re still holding onto it? What makes it hard to let go? ([23:13])
2. The sermon says, “Whatever we tolerate in our lives, whatever we refuse to judge or surrender, will eventually dominate us.” Can you think of a time when something you tolerated ended up controlling you? What would it look like to take radical action, as Jesus describes in Mark 9, to deal with it? ([13:54])
3. The pastor shared about having to let go of old friendships that were dragging him back into his old life. Are there relationships in your life that are hindering your walk with God? What steps could you take this week to set healthy boundaries or even say goodbye if needed? ([23:13])
4. When the Holy Spirit convicts you or says “no” to something in your life, do you tend to see it as rejection or as loving discipline? How can you shift your perspective to embrace conviction as a gift? ([27:27])
5. The sermon emphasized that our sanctification isn’t just about us, but about the people God has called us to influence. Who in your life might be affected by your obedience or disobedience? How does this bigger picture motivate you to pursue holiness? ([31:50])
6. The pastor said, “Stop mourning over what needs to die.” Is there something you’ve been grieving or reluctant to surrender, even though you know it’s holding you back? What would it look like to bring this to God in prayer and trust Him with it this week? ([34:22])
7. Victory over the flesh is possible through the Holy Spirit. What is one practical way you can invite the Holy Spirit to help you “crucify your Absalom” and walk in greater freedom this week? ([34:22])

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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Invite the group to spend a few moments in silent prayer, asking God to reveal any “Absaloms” in their lives and to give them the courage and power, by the Holy Spirit, to surrender these things and walk in freedom.

Devotional

Day 1: Letting Go of What Destroys Us
There are things in our lives that, like David’s attachment to Absalom, we hold onto even though they are destroying us spiritually, emotionally, or relationally. These attachments—habits, attitudes, relationships, or desires—may seem precious or even harmless, but if left unchecked, they can dethrone us from the place God intends for us. God calls us to recognize these “Absaloms” and to surrender them, trusting that His will for us is greater than anything we might cling to. The process may be painful, but it is necessary for true freedom and spiritual growth. [03:24]

2 Samuel 18:5, 14, 18 (ESV)
5 And the king ordered Joab and Abishai and Ittai, “Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom.” And all the people heard when the king gave orders to all the commanders about Absalom.
14 Joab said, “I will not waste time like this with you.” And he took three javelins in his hand and thrust them into the heart of Absalom while he was still alive in the oak.
18 Now Absalom in his lifetime had taken and set up for himself the pillar that is in the King’s Valley, for he said, “I have no son to keep my name in remembrance.” He called the pillar after his own name, and it is called Absalom’s monument to this day.

Reflection: What is one thing you are holding onto that you know is hindering your walk with God, and what would it look like to surrender it to Him today?


Day 2: The Flesh Wars Against the Spirit
Every believer faces a daily battle between the flesh and the Spirit. The flesh, like Absalom, is attractive and persuasive, but it is fundamentally rebellious against God and seeks to dethrone His rule in our lives. Scripture teaches that the flesh cannot be negotiated with or tolerated; it must be crucified. The Spirit empowers us to put to death the deeds of the flesh, but we must be willing to confront and deal decisively with those areas that oppose God’s will. [10:45]

Galatians 5:16-17, 24 (ESV)
16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.
24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Reflection: In what area of your life do you sense the strongest pull of the flesh, and how can you invite the Holy Spirit to help you crucify it today?


Day 3: Radical Action Against Sin
Jesus taught that we must take radical action against sin in our lives, not treating it gently or making excuses for it. Just as Joab refused to spare Absalom, we are called to cut off anything that causes us to sin, no matter how precious it seems. This is not about self-hatred but about loving God and valuing the life He offers more than the temporary pleasures or comforts of sin. The Spirit’s conviction is a gift, urging us to take decisive steps toward holiness and freedom. [13:54]

Mark 9:43-47 (ESV)
43 And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with two hands to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire. 45 And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life lame than with two feet to be thrown into hell. 47 And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into hell.

Reflection: What is one practical, even radical, step you can take today to remove a source of temptation or sin from your life?


Day 4: The Spirit’s Loving Rebuke and Conviction
The Holy Spirit, like Joab, sometimes confronts us with a firm “no” to our fleshly desires—not to shame us, but to align us with God’s heart and purpose. Conviction is not rejection; it is evidence of God’s love and His commitment to our transformation. When we feel the Spirit’s rebuke, we are reminded that we are God’s children, and His discipline is for our good. Embracing conviction leads us to deeper freedom and intimacy with God. [26:53]

Hebrews 12:5-6 (ESV)
5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”

Reflection: When was the last time you sensed the Holy Spirit’s conviction? How can you respond with gratitude and obedience rather than shame or resistance?


Day 5: Your Sanctification Impacts Others
Our willingness to let go of the flesh and pursue holiness is not just about our own spiritual health—it affects everyone around us. Like David’s divided heart endangered his kingdom, our choices impact our families, church, and the testimony of Christ in the world. God sanctifies us so that we can be salt and light, unlocking breakthrough for others and reflecting His glory. A united heart is essential for fulfilling our calling and blessing those God has placed in our lives. [31:50]

James 1:8 (ESV)
8 He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

Reflection: Who in your life might be affected by your spiritual choices today, and how can your obedience to God become a source of hope and blessing for them?

Quotes

I want to make the case to all of us this morning that there are things in your life There are attitudes. There are ideas. There are actions. There are decisions that like Absalom. We love them We grasp and hold on to them But if we're not willing to deal with them We will never achieve we will never become the people that God wants us to be as Disciples we have to recognize those parts of us That are carnal and causing us to live as rebels. [00:12:41] (33 seconds)  #RejectRebellion Edit Clip

Here's the point. David was too gentle With what needed to die Now you feel for David and I feel for David as I read this story because Absalom is still his son He still loves his son. He's mourning for his son And that's why in the scripture we read he commanded his generals Be gentle on the boy Deal gently with him and And this is a fatal kindness. What if they would have listened to his his command? What if they would have followed his command?Then Absalom would have remained alive and David would have remained dethroned and I want to make a point to us today that whatever we tolerate whatever carnal ideas and appetites That we fail to judge will become our masters Whatever you tolerate will eventually dominate Whatever you cannot crucify Will become your master. [00:13:15] (68 seconds)  #FatalKindness Edit Clip

You cannot cast out the flesh you have to crucify it we treat our flesh like it's a demon but it's not a demon the devil knows how to inflame our flesh the devil knows how to tempt us but isn't it what in James where he says that that that that sinful desires are born inside of us our carnal desires and the devil simply brings temptation we must be willing to confront our Absalom we must be willing but his dealings with Absalom teach us about ourselves our emotional indulgence can become a spiritual distraction. [00:15:03] (48 seconds)  #CrucifyTheFlesh Edit Clip

That is the issue for many believers trying to serve God trying to be disciples that along the way we begin to love the things that really are our enemies our pride our ego our materialwealth I say it's time to say goodbyeto Absalom today the spirit will execute what we are trying to preserve and so what we need to do then as we close is we must die to our flesh and live according to the spirit because the thing that's at stake here is not just David and the throne it's not just Absalom and his fate what's truly at stake here is the kingdom. [00:29:21] (51 seconds)  #GoodbyeToAbsalom Edit Clip

``Make up your mind who you're going to serve today. Don't mourn over what needs to die.Jesus made it possible for us to live in victory. The same spirit that raised Christ from the dead is alive in you. That's good news.It means if, if the spirit of God can raise a dead body out of the ground, then he can certainly help you to kill your Absalom. [00:34:49] (38 seconds)  #ServeWithPurpose Edit Clip