Craving God's Presence: A Journey to Intimacy

and it's so cool just to hear people's story we've had just thinking about all the different stories that people have shared up here that are so randomly different right like that was just I had no idea about some of your upbringing and didn't know how blessed you are to pee now that just there's just so much though right you know that that's the thing is you show up here and everyone looks kind of like oh yeah well doing great and then you figure okay here's a doctor an oncologist is like you just assume certain things right and then you hear a story and you go you've got to be kidding me but that's the truth of all of us here right if we all just got up here and shared our stories and that's that's why we get together in our smaller gatherings every we that's what we don't do this every week because we can't hear all of the stories here and the Bible talks about how everyone's got a gift to the body and so then those smaller gatherings you get an opportunity to exercise that [00:00:08]

and some of you guys know last Wednesday night I kind of announced a that's our last one and and then because we wanted to get back into homes because I didn't want it to be like an event where people just want to show up when there's a big group of people I want to be able to pray because God is there we should be excited to pray when we're alone we should be excited to pray in a home with with ten people I wanted the object of our worship to be what excites us not look at this crowd here and I just was so maybe overly cautious and the pastor's were saying the same thing and so we kind of announced it and then for those who didn't hear like so Wednesday night I just started coughing like crazy in the middle of the night you know I'm drinking nyquil doing everything that I'm supposed to do just try calm down prank you know and I I just couldn't stop coughing and so I left my hat my room and went to my prayer room and just asked god I go what's going on like everything happens for a reason why can I not sleep why are you trying to get my attention and the first thing I came my mind was the prayer me like that I wasn't supposed to cancel it and I go is that it Lord like I don't know that's just a weird thought in my head you know I I just I just thought of the right thing to do that would give you the most honour and I said if this is you then don't have me coughs not even once the rest the night and not even one more time from this moment on and that's exactly what happened you know which I just thought that's you know when you get in those fits where you're like I'm not going to sleep tonight I'm just going to cough all night and it's a big boom just I woke up I was like okay we're gonna keep praying together and it's not like I wanted to end it like I loved it I just didn't want to dishonor God in any way and I thought gosh I want to make sure we really love him and that's that's all I really want a real briefly talk about here is just that desire for him [00:03:27]

or Moses is talking to God but there's just this phrase in verse 17 where it says the Lord said to Moses this very thing that you have spoken I will do for you have found favor in my sight and I know you by name that is the coolest thing that any of us could receive I mean think about God the creator of everything and he says to Moses this very thing you have spoken I'll do for you for you have found favor in my sight and I know you by name is there anything on earth that you want more than this Jers they think about this then for the creator god almighty say you have found favor in my sight and I know you by name I was praying to God and God goes oh yeah I'm actually going to do that as you found favor in my sight and I know you by name God looking at me thank Francis I heard your prayer and I'm going to do it because you found favor in my sight and I know you Francis Francis I've known you from the began you when you were in that little Hospital in San Francisco in Chinatown I knew when your mom died I knew when I sent you to Hong Kong right after you were born saw you there Macau and Hong Kong and brought you back I've known you I know you Francis you found favor in my sight why do I care about anything else why do I care what you think of me much money I have I think the church kids whatever for me to be so satisfied to go it's a god with having this earth spin around that ball of fire that's 93 million miles away we're singing it's your breath in my lungs so I'll pour out my praise I'll pour out my praise as you're thinking every time every time we breathe in that's God giving it to us and I was just thinking as we're singing that song God as I exhale I just want to use every single breath to tell you how great you are if you give me another one you gave me another one I just want to tell you how awesome you are like that's what's from you right okay God you gave me another one and this one's for you also like that's a way like it's your breath you understand it's a gift from him and then for him to say perhaps if you found favor in my sight and I know you by name I just got my cups overflowing I can't take any more I'm so stinking happy I can't even believe it that joy that Mike was talking about it's like all the time [00:03:49]

and you know because because Satan can speak to us we can hear voices our own minds can speak to us weird memories can speak to us so you don't just go oh I got a word from the Lord you don't you don't just say that okay that you'll be very very cautious with this and so when I even think that maybe the Lord is impressing something on my mind I test it and as I'm praying for these people but the Lord brought to mind the idea of addiction but he wanted people to be addicted to him a lot of us in this group understand addiction okay you know what addiction is when it doesn't matter where you are your mind is on one thing and it doesn't matter what you have to sacrifice the addiction too strong so even though you say you love your wife or you love your kids at that moment that addiction is too strong it overpowers even that you could be starving and you could be so hungry but still your mind is not on I got to get some food it's on that drug right you're thinking I've got had a guy and I i I don't understand it I've never been addicted but maybe the dumplings I love have you ever been to a dumpling kitchen on terrible anyways um so I don't I don't understand that but I've watched people go through it where I'm going do you understand what you're giving up like you can see you understand like this is killing you I even remember a guy who was so addicted as a mile just to video games I'm a grown man and and his wife was leaving him because he couldn't stop playing and I'm like you're kidding me you're you're like 30-something years old you've got a wife and kids and and you don't go to work because you want to play this game like I don't get that like it's a game it's not really not really shooting things like I guess just like what in the world but that's what addiction does and and then what I believe where the Lord was saying and I believe I'm confirmed all through scripture is that God wants us addicted to him and that's that's what David was right he was in a dry and weary land where he couldn't find water what it is soul thirsts for God I want you I can't even find water I'm about to die of thirst and all I can think about is you like I love you that's why Paul says for me to live is Christ so I actually kind of want to die because dying would give me more of Christ and that's good that sounds like an addict to me doesn't it like I want this more than life itself that's why Paul says you could pile up everything I ever accomplished like you said about your trophies you know because it's just a big pile of dung he says compared to the surpassing value of knowing Christ [00:08:39]

and my concern for us and the people we minister to and some of you here don't assume I'm talking about someone else is we can fall in love with doing good things we can fall in love with resisting sin we can fall in love with caring for the poor we can fall in love with memorizing Scripture but it's about falling in love with Jesus like something happens for some of us here where we are truly addicted to him is Christ your addiction and make sure you understand what I said I said addiction not addition because everyone wants to add Jesus to their pile of blessings everyone wants to add Jesus to their lives only yeah I'll take him yeah Buddha Jesus I'll take some of that I'm not talking about addition and I believe this is what the church has been preaching for years is ADD Jesus to your life you'll make some things a little bit better then some of you came into a program here it's like okay yeah give me that because I want to get my life together I want to get off drugs I want to get my family together yeah I want Jesus also but know what this is about Jesus is not in addition the goal of this is that you are and with him not that you're willing to accept him and add him to your life but you understand addiction you understand what something consumes you and it's not like something you can measure but you see it in a person right like for example and understand this is about a person a person a person or you love that person not the idea of God but literally the person of God you go I love you like Romans 8 says my spirit cries out back Abba Father it's personal we cry that's why I don't want to have a group of people that are doing all of these things and avoiding other things but at the end of our lives we realize we don't really know him and love him [00:12:10]

and ever since I became a Christian remember one of the first things I was told to me this is not a religion it's a relationship but then my whole subsequent church experience kind of to emphasize everything but relationship and I just don't want to end up with a group of people that are doing good things but at the end of the day you don't really crave him you're not satisfied by him you're not obsessed with him the person we've seen obsession you know when someone's obsessed with their kid right you met people who are obsessed with their kids where no matter what you're talking about all that's just like my son like all right yeah whatever you know like you know everything goes back it's like ooh would you stop you know and I'll look my kids throwing a tantrum is a adorable yes I know but you can tell I can tell you think he is I can tell you're obsessed right you can tell when someone's obsessed and I just was thinking I've only met a few people that I go well here she is obsessed with Jesus it doesn't matter what you say they always bring it back to Jesus and how great their life is because of Jesus and that's what God wants of us right isn't that what he wanted have Adam just walk in the garden you know with Adam that's what we're reading about Moses he loved when Moses says I don't want the Promised Land not without you right number in Exodus 33 that's what God says you know his look I'll send an angel I'll Drive out I'll chase away all of your problems and put you in a perfect land and Moses goes you're not going I'm not going that's obsession that's that's Abraham known as a friend of God generally I don't want to be known as a teacher a good teacher a good leader or you know some visionary or a prophet or whatever I'm just going on I want to be known as a guy that is just addicted to you that is obsessed with you that loves you and I hope that's the goal of your life where you go god I adore you and I understand that's the center of this book that's why David there's only one thing I asked for I just want to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life and just a gaze upon his beauty just sit at the temple and stare at him that's what I was praying this last week Justin in my little prayer room with God him to love god this is all I want please God if I could have one thing could you make it so every single day at least for a few moments I get it and I understand how much better you are than everything else and I just enjoy being with you the person of God is you and me in this room or wherever I am like can I just get it every day and see you every day that's my number one prayer that's what I want God everything else whatever I can make you I got to know you yeah at that passage in Matthew 7 where there's so many people at the end of the Lord didn't we do this didn't we do this didn't we do this and Jesus depart from me I never knew you and I say this because for some of us we grew up in a home like me you grew up in a home like Mike or something where you just it's about performance do this do this do this rather than knowing a person rather than having your spirit cry out Abba Father and you get it rather than what John says in first John where he says it comes from our fellowship you know he's like he's trying to put words to it right he goes that which was from beginning I actually heard him I saw him I touched him and now I have fellowship with God like I'm connected with them I abide in him and it was the only thing that would make me happier right now is that if you would have fellowship with us you know like somehow you had that connection you get it like that's my only joy right now is when I go someone else gets it someone else gets it more people are addicted to him the person of him and then you get to the book of Revelation at the very end and what's it about first he tells the church an emphasis he goes man you got this right you got this right you guys are standing against false teachers you guys are working yourself to the bone you guys suffer for the kingdom it goes but I got this one thing against you you lost your first love remember that's the greatest commandment love the Lord your God with all your heart soul mind and strength because you laughed and he says and if you don't repent he goes I'm just going to remove the church I don't even want this church if they don't love me I don't care if you do all this stuff do you desire me do crave me there any love in there it's like my my five-year-old you know this last week when I walk her to her class or her kindergarten class most mornings and she makes me carry her you know and I kind of like it anyways you know I'm the only guy on the playground still carrying his kids ILDA till the bell rings right and I'm like hey honey I need the bell ring the bell rang and she's just holding on tight daddy daddy just one more second just one more second and I'm like all right all right all right hey why don't we just cut class and what is cuddle you know it's just wine cuz as a father it's like oh that's the badge that's a fast you know like Rachel was 21 now we don't really cuddle anymore but God Justin and and but I remember you know like at night you know when I put her to bed you know like sometimes lay in the bed with her and and she would just put her hand on me and I would always try to slip away because I want to go back to my own you know I don't and and she'd wake up no no no no no no no no as I all right I kind of want to be here anyway you know that's what being a dad what makes it so awesome is the desire from your children where they desire you and that's why God looks at his children goes man do you love me do you want me that's that's all I want it's a relationship and that's why at the end the end of all things in Revelation 21 what's the great promise it says that God will dwell with us again like we're all just gone oh my gosh could you imagine like there's no see there's no gap between God and us and he's right here and we can see him and I called man I've wanted to see you all my life man it's like talking to you on the phone and or email or texting you and here you are and you're right here and now I've got nothing to fear you're the one that that has told me that I found favor with you you're the one that's called me your son and now right now that I see you I have nothing to fear it's like who's going to go who's going to come up against me and I kind of knew this but I saw it kind of dimly I wanted to see you face to face and now it's forever and you're gonna wipe away every tear from my eye like him he is the prize that's why Jeremiah's like what are you doing why would you leave these Springs of living water why would you leave me and dig cisterns and what are you doing it's me it's about me it's about me and so I gotta just ask you know you get that because I know some of you are listening to me and this is new for you and you're going okay I've heard about Christianity before I've even been in church all my life but that thing he's talking about where he actually loves the person of God I don't have that that's been dudes or don't I feel good when I don't sin feel good when I help the poor I check off a list when I read the Bible that morning I feel good so there's never about relationship you and him we're you know him he knows you and you can't wait for him to return and I can't make that happen it drives me crazy you know it's just kind of happened and now your eyes just have to be open and you realize you're telling me the Creator God all the garbage that I did and was storing up wrath for me but he also loved me so much that he was willing to send his son to take all of that rat these are righteous God that's what we read yesterday he does not leave the guilty unpunished exodus 34:7 i have to punish I'm I'm a good judge a good judge can't just say okay you did this but I'm going to let it go now there has to be a punishment because I'm pouring all my wrath out on my son my son whom I love more than anyone I'm pouring my rap out on him so that you can be forgiven he's going to rise from the dead to show you that he really was the son of God and to show you that there's going to come a day when you rise again to be with me forever and some of us hear that message and are you kidding me he he not it not this concept he did this for me he watched his son well then I want him and I don't ever want to leave him and I don't want to go anywhere unless he is with me and you can take everything else away because it's all garbage compared to knowing him the surpassing value of him and I'd rather starve to death I'd all be in a dry and thirsty land and I will think about being with him and if there's one thing I want it and a dwell in his house stared his beauty that you for were you raised with religion even in a Christian Church I want to pray for you right now because we're about to take communion and don't you understand if you're crazy about him then you take that piece of bread and going whoa this represents his body and what he did on that cross and there's a sense in which I commune see communion I commune with him where it's like I believe it his flesh becomes my flesh his blood and you know it is my blood like he's my lifeline like you start to love communion you don't love Church oh because there's a great speaker all because there's a great band no because I'm going to commune with him I'm excited to take the bread I'm excited take the cup beat why because I'm fanatic I'm obsessed I'm addicted to him and so I want to pray for you for those of you who've never just by yourself longed for him that's why we emphasized it along with the scriptures because a lot of people man they'll just come to church and these gatherings but it's not really him because if it's him then when you're alone you're excited to be with him I'm going to pray that miracle takes place in your heart right now and maybe you would get what he did for you and right now say God I want you in my life I'm asking you to fix my marriage Maxine you fixed my health my job my finances I just want you let me pray father I pray that you would open people's eyes right now the eyes of their heart give them the mind of Christ help them to see how beautiful Christ is now people have come here depressed angry thirsty their cups are not overflowing God because you're not their Shepherd and they're trying to find life and broken cisterns rather than the spring of living water I prayed you would open their eyes to this but this is not a place where we come to get rich or get our life together or get anything this is a place we come to get you you fulfill all of our needs and I pray that you make us a church that is addicted to you in love with you that you will always be our first love Jesus name we pray [00:19:30]

and some of us hear that message and are you kidding me he he not it not this concept he did this for me he watched his son well then I want him and I don't ever want to leave him and I don't want to go anywhere unless he is with me and you can take everything else away because it's all garbage compared to knowing him the surpassing value of him and I'd rather starve to death I'd all be in a dry and thirsty land and I will think about being with him and if there's one thing I want it and a dwell in his house stared his beauty that you for were you raised with religion even in a Christian Church I want to pray for you right now because we're about to take communion and don't you understand if you're crazy about him then you take that piece of bread and going whoa this represents his body and what he did on that cross and there's a sense in which I commune see communion I commune with him where it's like I believe it his flesh becomes my flesh his blood and you know it is my blood like he's my lifeline like you start to love communion you don't love Church oh because there's a great speaker all because there's a great band no because I'm going to commune with him I'm excited to take the bread I'm excited take the cup beat why because I'm fanatic I'm obsessed I'm addicted to him and so I want to pray for you for those of you who've never just by yourself longed for him that's why we emphasized it along with the scriptures because a lot of people man they'll just come to church and these gatherings but it's not really him because if it's him then when you're alone you're excited to be with him I'm going to pray that miracle takes place in your heart right now and maybe you would get what he did for you and right now say God I want you in my life I'm asking you to fix my marriage Maxine you fixed my health my job my finances I just want you let me pray father I pray that you would open people's eyes right now the eyes of their heart give them the mind of Christ help them to see how beautiful Christ is now people have come here depressed angry thirsty their cups are not overflowing God because you're not their Shepherd and they're trying to find life and broken cisterns rather than the spring of living water I prayed you would open their eyes to this but this is not a place where we come to get rich or get our life together or get anything this is a place we come to get you you fulfill all of our needs and I pray that you make us a church that is addicted to you in love with you that you will always be our first love Jesus name we pray [00:26:55]