Cosmic Mystery #3: Hurt, Betrayal, and Disappointment

Advent invites us to look again at the Incarnation—God stepping into our world as a human—and ask what it reveals about who God is and how we live with pain, betrayal, and disappointment. In a week marked by tragic shootings, I asked where the arrival of Jesus meets us in grief and confusion. I shared a season from my own story—graduating from Bible college with hopes for ministry, only to find closed doors, an unwanted retail job, and a hollow ache of comparison. In that space of delay and uncertainty, I had to wrestle with who God is when life doesn’t make sense—and what He asks of me when I don’t have answers.

Matthew 1:18–25 brings us to Joseph, a teenager building a home for Mary, only to discover she’s pregnant—and not by him. Before Joseph knows anything about angels or miracles, he chooses to protect her dignity. He doesn’t retaliate; he quietly seeks her good. That reflex didn’t arise from naivety; it came from a life steeped in the character of God. Joseph’s faith led him to act with mercy before he had clarity.

When the angel finally speaks, he doesn’t explain everything; he confirms enough and comforts Joseph’s fear. God’s presence meets Joseph, not with a detailed map, but with sufficient light for the next step. Joseph obeys—like Abram stepping out before he knew the destination. Faith often lives in the tension between what God has said and what we still don’t understand. In my Calgary season, honesty before God became the place where He nudged me forward, opened an unexpected door to Lethbridge, and proved that He doesn’t call and then abandon. He goes ahead. He stays with us.

Joseph’s life is largely unnoticed in Scripture—no recorded words, no spotlight—but God saw him. God entrusted His Son to a carpenter’s home and a quiet faith. Joseph’s adoption of Jesus points us to the gospel: through Christ we are adopted, received, and named as God’s own. If God worked world-changing purposes through an ordinary, faithful life, He can work through yours. The Incarnation meets our disappointments with a call: seek God for the formation you need, trust Him without full explanations, and choose obedience that protects the dignity of others. Hidden faithfulness is never hidden from God.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. Faith honors others amid confusion. Joseph protects Mary’s dignity before he understands the story. Mercy becomes his first reflex not because circumstances are clear, but because his heart is anchored in God’s character. Choosing honor in the dark is a profoundly theological act—it says God is trustworthy even when people aren’t. [10:38]
• 2. God comforts, not fully explains. The angel confirms the moment and calms Joseph’s fear; he doesn’t give a full report of God’s plan. We often want reasons, but God gives presence, strength, and enough light for the next step. Comfort is not a consolation prize—it’s the power to obey when answers are partial. [16:01]
• 3. Obedience thrives in holy tension. Joseph acts without seeing the whole path, much like Abram leaving without a destination in hand. Discipleship is often consent to live between revelation and mystery. In that space, obedience is not passive; it’s the concrete expression of trust. [18:38]
• 4. Seek formation, not mere imitation. The goal isn’t “be like Joseph,” but “seek the God who formed Joseph.” We ask God to reshape our instincts, heal our inner scripts, and supply love for those who hurt us. Formation is slow, but it’s how God gives us the responses we do not naturally possess. [14:07]
• 5. Ordinary lives carry eternal weight. Joseph’s quiet carpentry and adoptive fatherhood shaped the very human life of Jesus. In adopting a son not his own, he pictures the gospel that adopts us in Christ. Hidden faithfulness can carry history on its back because God sees, chooses, and multiplies what the world overlooks. [25:04]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [00:25] - Advent: Incarnation and our pain
• [01:40] - Tragedies and the question of hope
• [02:50] - Training, hopes, and expectations
• [04:38] - Calgary, unemployment, and disappointment
• [06:50] - Matthew 1:18–25 read
• [08:53] - Betrothal customs and Joseph’s toil
• [10:06] - Joseph protects Mary in confusion
• [11:53] - Why Joseph could respond like this
• [14:07] - Formation over imitation
• [16:01] - Angel comforts; not all answers
• [18:38] - Obedience in the unknown
• [20:28] - Honest prayer leads to Lethbridge
• [23:17] - Unnoticed life, adopted Son, adopted us

Bible Reading
- Matthew 1:18–25

Observation questions
- In Matthew 1:18–19, what is Joseph called, and what plan does he form about Mary? What does that plan tell you about his first instinct?
- In verses 20–21, 24–25, what commands are given to Joseph, and how does he respond to each one?
- Where in the passage do you see Joseph’s fear noticed and addressed? What words show this?
- “Before Joseph knows anything about angels or miracles, he chooses to protect her dignity.” What, according to the text, did Joseph actually know in that moment? [10:38]

Interpretation questions
- Joseph protects Mary’s dignity before he understands the full story. What does this reveal about a heart formed by God’s character rather than by circumstances? [11:53]
- The angel comforts Joseph and confirms enough, but does not explain everything. Why might God give comfort and presence more than reasons? What does that teach about God’s heart toward us in pain? [16:01]
- Joseph obeys without seeing the whole path, similar to Abram leaving without knowing the destination. What does this teach about the nature of faith and trust? [18:38]
- Joseph’s quiet, ordinary life and his adoption of Jesus point to the gospel of our adoption in Christ. How does that reshape the way we think about “unnoticed” faithfulness? [25:04]

Application questions
- Honor in confusion: Who is one person whose dignity you need to protect this week, even if you feel wronged or confused? What would a quiet, honoring response look like by Tuesday? [10:38]
- Comfort over explanations: Where are you currently asking God for reasons? What would it look like to receive His comfort and take one faithful next step this week, even with partial answers? [16:01]
- Holy tension: Name one decision where you do not have the full map. What specific next step of obedience will you take in the next 48 hours? Who will you tell for accountability? [18:38]
- Formation, not imitation: Which inner script, disappointment, or family story makes trusting God hard? What practice of seeking God (daily prayer, Scripture, confession, or a weekly check-in with a friend) will you commit to for the next 3 weeks to let God reshape your reflexes? [14:07]
- Honest prayer: Try a simple, honest sentence prayer: “God, either move me or change me here.” What would your honest sentence be today, and where do you sense a gentle nudge to act? [20:28]
- Hidden faithfulness: Where in your life do you feel unnoticed—at home, at work, or in ministry? If God sees you there, what is one small act of faithfulness you will do quietly this week? [23:17]
- Adoption identity: Where are you comparing your life to others and feeling behind? How does your adoption in Christ speak to that, and what is one practice (gratitude list, memorizing a promise, serving someone unseen) that will help you live from that identity this week? [25:04]