Confronting Self-Deception: The Path to a Healthy Heart
Summary
### Summary
Good morning, everyone. It's a joy to be together today, and I believe God has a divine appointment for each of us. I want to start with a question: When you lie, who do you lie to the most? Research shows that we lie to ourselves more than anyone else. We tell ourselves we're fine when we're not, or that something isn't a big deal when it is. Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that the human heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. This is why we often fail to grow spiritually; we focus on external behaviors rather than the condition of our hearts.
As we enter the summer season, it's a good time to reflect and let God work on our hearts. We're starting a new series called "Habits of a Healthy Heart," and today we'll focus on the habit of self-examination. Psalm 139:23-24 is a prayer of David that says, "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." David prayed this because he understood the deceitfulness of his own heart.
David's life is a prime example of self-deception. In 2 Samuel 11, we see that David stayed behind in Jerusalem when kings normally go to war. He rationalized his decision, thinking he deserved a break. This led to a series of sins, including adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband, Uriah. David deceived himself at every step, thinking his actions were justified.
Self-deception manifests in various ways, such as addiction to distraction, manic cheeriness, judgmentalism, defensiveness, and cynicism. We often rationalize our sins, saying things like, "It's not a big deal," or "I'm not hurting anyone." But the more convinced we are that we don't have a problem, the more likely it is that we do. We cannot change what we won't confront.
David's prayer in Psalm 51:10-12 is a model for us: "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." David understood that having a heart after God doesn't mean being sinless; it means being aware of our sins and confessing them to God.
We need to be brutally honest with ourselves and ask God to reveal our hidden sins. This involves listening to what others have tried to tell us, watching what we rationalize, and noticing where we are most defensive. Asking for help is not a weakness; it's a sign of wisdom. We need to confess our sins to God and to each other to be healed.
Jesus died and rose again to set us free from the power of sin. His resurrection power is available to us, enabling us to live a life that is not defined by our sins but by our identity as beloved children of God. So, let's run to God, confess our sins, and allow His truth to set us free.
### Key Takeaways
1. Self-Deception and the Human Heart: We lie to ourselves more than anyone else, often telling ourselves we're fine when we're not. Jeremiah 17:9 highlights the deceitfulness of the human heart, which is why we often fail to grow spiritually. We focus on external behaviors rather than addressing the root cause, which is the condition of our hearts. [16:49]
2. The Habit of Self-Examination: David's prayer in Psalm 139:23-24 is a model for us to follow. He asked God to search his heart and reveal any offensive way in him. This habit of self-examination is crucial for spiritual growth. It involves being brutally honest with ourselves and inviting God to reveal our hidden sins. [21:03]
3. David's Example of Self-Deception: David's life in 2 Samuel 11 shows how self-deception can lead to a series of sins. He rationalized his actions, thinking he deserved a break, which led to adultery and murder. This story teaches us the importance of confronting our sins and not rationalizing them away. [27:05]
4. Manifestations of Self-Deception: Self-deception can manifest in various ways, such as addiction to distraction, manic cheeriness, judgmentalism, defensiveness, and cynicism. We often rationalize our sins, saying things like, "It's not a big deal," or "I'm not hurting anyone." The more convinced we are that we don't have a problem, the more likely it is that we do. [30:24]
5. Confession and Healing: Confessing our sins to God and to each other is essential for healing. David's prayer in Psalm 51:10-12 shows that having a heart after God doesn't mean being sinless; it means being aware of our sins and confessing them. Jesus' resurrection power sets us free from the power of sin, enabling us to live a life defined by our identity as beloved children of God. [47:04]
### Youtube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[15:25] - Who Do You Lie to the Most?
[16:49] - The Deceitfulness of the Human Heart
[19:30] - Introduction to Habits of a Healthy Heart
[21:03] - The Habit of Self-Examination
[22:52] - David's Self-Deception in 2 Samuel 11
[27:05] - The Consequences of David's Sins
[30:24] - Manifestations of Self-Deception
[37:57] - The Impact of Hidden Sins
[39:45] - Asking for Help and Confession
[47:04] - Confession and Healing
[53:58] - The Power of Jesus' Resurrection
[56:59] - The Lord's Prayer and Closing
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. Jeremiah 17:9 - "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
2. Psalm 139:23-24 - "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
3. Psalm 51:10-12 - "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
#### Observation Questions
1. According to Jeremiah 17:9, what is the nature of the human heart?
2. In Psalm 139:23-24, what does David ask God to do, and why is this significant?
3. How did David deceive himself in 2 Samuel 11, and what were the consequences of his actions? ([27:05])
4. What are some manifestations of self-deception mentioned in the sermon? ([30:24])
#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why is self-deception particularly dangerous for spiritual growth, according to the sermon? ([17:55])
2. How does David's prayer in Psalm 51:10-12 reflect his understanding of his own sinfulness and need for God's intervention? ([48:18])
3. What does the sermon suggest about the importance of confessing sins to both God and others? ([47:04])
4. How can the habit of self-examination prevent us from falling into deeper sin, as illustrated by David's story? ([36:15])
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you lied to yourself about something significant. How did it affect your spiritual growth? ([16:49])
2. David's prayer in Psalm 139:23-24 is a model for self-examination. How can you incorporate this prayer into your daily routine to invite God to reveal hidden sins? ([21:03])
3. The sermon mentions various ways self-deception manifests, such as addiction to distraction and defensiveness. Which of these do you recognize in your own life, and how can you address it? ([30:24])
4. What steps can you take to be more open to feedback from others about areas where you might be deceiving yourself? ([40:19])
5. How can you create a safe environment in your small group or community for confessing sins and seeking healing? ([47:04])
6. Think about a specific sin or issue you have been rationalizing. What practical steps can you take this week to confront and confess it? ([43:42])
7. How can you remind yourself of your identity as a beloved child of God, especially when you feel defined by your sins? ([49:59])
Devotional
Day 1: The Deceitfulness of the Human Heart
We often lie to ourselves more than anyone else, convincing ourselves that we are fine when we are not. Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that the human heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. This deceitfulness is a significant barrier to spiritual growth because it causes us to focus on external behaviors rather than addressing the root cause, which is the condition of our hearts. By acknowledging the deceitfulness of our hearts, we can begin to seek God's help in transforming us from the inside out. [16:49]
Jeremiah 17:9-10 (ESV): "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? 'I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.'"
Reflection: In what areas of your life have you been telling yourself that you are fine when you are not? Ask God to reveal the true condition of your heart today.
Day 2: The Habit of Self-Examination
David's prayer in Psalm 139:23-24 is a model for us to follow. He asked God to search his heart and reveal any offensive way in him. This habit of self-examination is crucial for spiritual growth. It involves being brutally honest with ourselves and inviting God to reveal our hidden sins. By regularly practicing self-examination, we can become more aware of our shortcomings and seek God's guidance in overcoming them. This process is not about condemning ourselves but about allowing God to transform us. [21:03]
Psalm 139:23-24 (ESV): "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!"
Reflection: When was the last time you asked God to search your heart? Take a moment today to pray Psalm 139:23-24 and invite God to reveal any hidden sins in your life.
Day 3: The Consequences of Self-Deception
David's life in 2 Samuel 11 shows how self-deception can lead to a series of sins. He rationalized his actions, thinking he deserved a break, which led to adultery and murder. This story teaches us the importance of confronting our sins and not rationalizing them away. When we deceive ourselves, we open the door to further sin and its devastating consequences. By acknowledging our sins and seeking God's forgiveness, we can prevent the destructive cycle of self-deception. [27:05]
2 Samuel 12:7-9 (ESV): "Nathan said to David, 'You are the man! Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, "I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you out of the hand of Saul. And I gave you your master's house and your master's wives into your arms and gave you the house of Israel and of Judah. And if this were too little, I would add to you as much more. Why have you despised the word of the Lord, to do what is evil in his sight?"'"
Reflection: Are there any areas in your life where you have been rationalizing your actions? Ask God to help you confront these sins and seek His forgiveness.
Day 4: Recognizing Manifestations of Self-Deception
Self-deception can manifest in various ways, such as addiction to distraction, manic cheeriness, judgmentalism, defensiveness, and cynicism. We often rationalize our sins, saying things like, "It's not a big deal," or "I'm not hurting anyone." The more convinced we are that we don't have a problem, the more likely it is that we do. Recognizing these manifestations is the first step toward addressing them. By being honest with ourselves and seeking God's help, we can overcome these patterns of self-deception. [30:24]
Proverbs 21:2 (ESV): "Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart."
Reflection: What are some ways you might be deceiving yourself? Take a moment to reflect on any patterns of distraction, cheeriness, judgmentalism, defensiveness, or cynicism in your life and ask God to help you see the truth.
Day 5: Confession and Healing
Confessing our sins to God and to each other is essential for healing. David's prayer in Psalm 51:10-12 shows that having a heart after God doesn't mean being sinless; it means being aware of our sins and confessing them. Jesus' resurrection power sets us free from the power of sin, enabling us to live a life defined by our identity as beloved children of God. By confessing our sins and seeking God's forgiveness, we can experience true healing and transformation. [47:04]
James 5:16 (ESV): "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."
Reflection: Is there a sin you need to confess to God or to someone else? Take a step of faith today and confess your sin, trusting that God will bring healing and transformation.
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "When you lie, who do you lie to the most? When I love this group I tell you man I just give you the answer right off the bat right yes we're gonna get there let me get there a little bit okay that's a good answer like like who is this raise your hand be bold honest who's told a lie here raise your hand look around if somebody doesn't have their hand up point at them say liar liar hands on fire all right all right all right i mean who's lied to their boss yeah i'm sick today yeah right sure okay all right maybe who's lied to their kids right no i'm just thinking about it kids i'm just stalling i'm not thinking about it at all uh you know and so who's lied to their parents yeah yeah lied to your parents told me you're someplace where you weren't maybe it's on a lie to your friends yeah i saw i can't help you move i got stuff going on don't feel too good uh you know and so uh you know you said it's interesting uh we think about lies and who do we lie to most uh research has been very very very clear about this we lie to ourselves it's you that's you lie to most in fact experts say you will lie dozens of times even hundreds of times in one day in one day that's today and then you'll do it again tomorrow and you'll do it again the next day" [15:25]
2. "The problem is, we see, man, the grass looks greener. It looks greater. This is going to be fun. This is going to be pleasurable, and we just get in that moment. We rationalize ourself, and soon enough, we're there. I know this is wrong, but it's not really that bad. It's not okay. It's just me. And we get there. So David says, search me, God. Watch for other people trying to tell you. Watch for rationalization. C, watch for where they're most defensive. Watch where you push back the easiest and the most. Watch where somebody touches something, and it gets a nerve, and it makes you angry. It gets you sensitive, and you just want to say, this is none of your business. This is my life." [42:28]
3. "You cannot change what you won't confront. The habit of self-examination, it's a habit of being brutally honest with yourself. And that's hard. But that creates the God moment. Because you have to name it to deal with it. You can't just say, oh, I know I need to be better. Better what? I know this should change. Change what? You need to name it. You need to confront it. David was asking God, I know I got this weak spot. I know I'm prone to sin. I know my heart's a mess. God, you gotta show it to me. You gotta show it to me. Search me. Reveal it to me." [44:17]
4. "David prayed that because he was an unrighteous person. David prayed that because he sinned against God. I mean, David sinned big time. Not just once, but multiple times. And yet, what does the Bible say about David? David was a man after God's own heart. Having God's own heart doesn't mean you're sinless. It means you're aware of your sin. And you go to Him. And you confess it. And you come to Him and say, God, you're the one who can create in me a pure heart. I cannot make a pure heart. I can't change His heart. My heart by His own is set with evil desires. That's my sinful nature. I need your intervention. I need your interruption. I need you to confront me with the Word of God. And I need you to bring it to me so you can make a new heart in me. You can restore the joy of your forgiveness." [48:53]
5. "The more convinced you are that you don't have a problem, the more likely it is that you do. So usually when somebody presses in, what happens is the story you're repeating in your head starts to come out loud. And if you were really not being deceived by it, you'd be listening to yourself going, I'm an idiot. But it works for you. It won't work for someone outside of you." [43:01]
### Quotes for Members
1. "We don't become vibrant, we become dim. And God's presence doesn't show. It doesn't mean, like, God has forsaken you. It's just your fellowship and closeness is not there because you're, you got this sin in your life. And you got this deception lie to yourself. And so you're a dim follower of Jesus. And if you fall into temptation, man, you can become a prideful follower of Jesus because that's what David, David was prideful. I'm a good king. I'm a great king. Everything's okay. I can do this. And so you give yourself license to sin. Or you become a very shameful follower of Jesus. Because you know of this sin and you know what you're doing, but you keep on doing it anyway. So what we want to do is we need to address this so we can be vibrant followers of Jesus. So what is that secret sin? What is that pet sin that you keep saying it's okay to have? That it's just you. It just affects you. It doesn't affect anybody else. I mean, what is it that you're flirting with? What is it you're playing with? What is it that you blame others? It's not my fault. It's just others do it. I can't help myself. Maybe you're, you got some addiction to things you don't even realize it's going on. Or you're addicted to overeating. You make jokes about it. You're addicted to overspending. Just pretend it's just okay. It's fine. I can overspend. It's not a problem. I don't need to honor God by money. Are you numbing yourselves consistently with TV? Social media, entertainment, doing something that just numbs and pulls that reality away and gives you a place to escape so you don't have to deal with it? Where is it that you really need help? You see, asking for help is not a weakness. It is always a sign of wisdom. Your body's present, but your heart is far from God." [39:10]
2. "David heard this story, and he said, that's the worst thing I ever heard. That person ought to be executed. They put to death. And Nathan looked at him, and if you translate the Hebrew, it's this. You are the man. You are that man. You're the one judging someone else in a story that you're guilty of. You're guilty of the same thing. You're the one, who's been defensive and pushed back and made excuses and rationalized. You've done the very same thing, David. See, the habit of self-examination, like I said, it's not easy, but it is necessary. Because if we don't do it, we can allow ourselves to get into very bad places. So this habit keeps us from going down a road. It stops us before we start making a path that leads to greater and greater consequences. And so David says, search me, God. Search my heart. Show me. Is there any offensive way? Is there anything sinful in me that is against you? Show me what I don't see. Show me so I can change. And so if you would pause and slow it down enough to say, okay, God, I'm going to really invite you into my heart to search me and to show me. Here are some questions you could ask. Some questions for self-examination. A, what problem are you denying? Like, what problem are you consistently denying? What sin are you rationalizing? B, what sin are you rationalizing? And C, what issue are you hiding? I mean, it's really getting at, like, okay, God, what is it that God, I want you to work in my life. So I can be a vibrant follower of Jesus. Like, I want to be a vibrant follower of Jesus. Like, I want to be filled with your presence. I want to be confident of your presence and your grace. I want it, like, to be evident in my life. But if we're falling into sin," [35:03]
3. "So what you need to do is you need to run to God. You need to confess Him. You need to confess to people and to God. You need to have people, like a life group that you need to have close friends or as I say, that 2 a.m. friend that you have in your life who has this boundless love and love to the end that gives you this grace place that says, look, I can confess anything to you and you will just pour that forgiveness in me and you'll help me hold accountable and you'll love me through it. We have to remember we're in a spiritual battle. We're not in a neutral place. And a spiritual battle is in this heart. And God has brought you into the family to have people around you to support you and encourage you to walk through it and to not let you stay caught and bound to it. There's two types of confessions in Scripture. In Scripture we confess our sins to God. And the Bible said He is faithful and just to forgive your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness. There's also another confession. The confession we have is we confess our sins to one another. It says you confess your sins to one another, pray for each other that you may be healed. I think what's lacking in the church today is that we know to confess our sins to God. But we don't confess to each other and we don't get healed. And some of us why we've been forgiven are carrying around the wounds of our sins. Because we haven't confessed to each other. We haven't let someone speak to us those words of forgiveness that we've named. And allow us to love us in our sin that we named. So we feel healed. Because when someone knows our dirt and still loves us that helps us understand God's grace. That takes it from the head and puts it in the heart. And then it can come out in our life." [46:31]
4. "David prayed, he confessed, because his heart is deceitful above all things. He prayed Psalm 5110, he says, create in me a pure heart, O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation. And grant me a willing spirit to sustain and seek. Like, I want you to, permission to do work in my heart. I'm going to take an honest and a real honest look of my heart with self-examination. B is going to be the habit of simplicity. We want more and more and more, and often what we need is less. And we're going to learn a little bit about the habit of simplicity. And then the habit of solitude. You know, we just really need to learn how to slow down and how to really hear God's voice and let God's voice lead and guide us. And then we're going to talk about E, the habit of sorrow. It's not earthly sorrow because that would be really sad, right? But this is about godly sorrow. And godly sorrow means that our heart becomes in line with God's heart. And when we have a contrite heart, it leads to repentance, which leads to salvation, which leads to new life. And then E is the habit of slowing. And we're going to look at, like, how do we have a God-honoring day of Sabbath that we really are honoring Him with that day? So today, the habit of self-examination, and God's Word tells us in Psalm 139, it says, this is a prayer that David prayed. He said, Just look at these words. Search me, God, and know my heart. Why? Because the heart is deceptive. It is sinful, ugly, it's deceitful, it's willing to rebel. Test my anxious thoughts. Is it anything offensive? This is a prayer of David. Why is David praying this prayer? Why would David, and this is like a well-known prayer, right? I mean, search me, God, know my heart. Test me, I mean, that's like squeeze me, allow some pain in my life, right? So I can be purified, and what is good can come out, or whatever is bad comes out, so it's exposed. I mean, it's a pretty intense prayer. Why would David pray this prayer? Well, as we watch David's life over time, David started to understand the same thing, I hope you understand, by this message, that we have a propensity to lie to ourselves. David was a master at lying to himself. He nailed the skill of self deception. And we can see it in 2 Samuel chapter 11." [48:18]
5. "The problem is that we're simply focused on those things that are outside the external behaviors. But where is the actual behavior? The actual behavior is born in our hearts. It's been said, look in your notes, this one, if you want to change your life, change your habits. If you want to change your habits, this is the next one, then let God change your heart. We're entering into summer. We're entering into that new season, and summer is a kind of time where we kind of recreate, recreate. We get into a different rhythm. We step back. Maybe we take some more relaxations or stuff like that, but it's a time to, as we recreate, to make sure that we are, as we're recreating, that we reflect, and that maybe we slow down in a different rhythm because there's so many tourists, we don't want to go out anyway, and we develop, and we let God work on our hearts to awaken our hearts to Him. And so we're going to be... in this series for the next five weeks is called Habits of a Healthy Heart. And so this week we're going to talk about the first habit, so the five different habits we're going to talk about. This is going to be the habit of self-examination. So what the purpose of today is really to say, God, I want to give you permission to come into my heart." [19:30]
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