Confronting Pride and Celebrating Faithfulness in the Church

Summary

As we gather today, we find ourselves at the close of our journey through the Letters of John, focusing on 3 John as a window into the early church and a mirror for our own. The passage reveals two essential dynamics for a healthy church: challenging the proud and celebrating the fruit. In the first century, just as now, pride threatened the unity and mission of the church. John names Diotrephes as an example of someone who put himself first, resisted authority, and sought control—reminding us that unchecked pride is not just a personal issue but a danger to the whole body. Scripture is clear: God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Gospel-centered living is fundamentally incompatible with self-promotion, because the story is not about us, but about Jesus and His grace.

We are all susceptible to elevating people—leaders, personalities, even ourselves—beyond their rightful place. The world celebrates charisma, confidence, and control, but the church is called to a different standard. True leadership in the church is marked by humility, service, and a willingness to confront pride, both in ourselves and in others. If a church does not challenge pride, it risks becoming a fan club rather than the body of Christ. Jesus alone is worthy of our worship and surrender.

But the church is not just about rooting out pride; it is also about celebrating the visible, verifiable fruit that God produces in and through His people. John commends Demetrius as an example of someone whose life bears good testimony, and encourages us to honor and encourage those who are faithfully serving. Fruit in the Christian life is not hidden; it is seen, confirmed by others, and brings joy to the community. We are called to outdo one another in showing honor, to encourage and build up those around us, and to recognize the work of God in ordinary acts of service and love.

As we reflect, let us ask God to reveal any pride in our hearts and give us the courage to surrender it. Let us also make it a habit to encourage others, celebrating the fruit we see in their lives. In doing so, we follow the example of Jesus, who humbled Himself for our sake and delights in the fruit His Spirit produces in us. May our church be known as a place that challenges the proud and celebrates the fruit, all for the glory of Christ.

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Key Takeaways

- Pride is a Subtle but Deadly Threat to the Church
Pride often masquerades as confidence or leadership, but it undermines the very foundation of gospel-centered community. When individuals or leaders seek to elevate themselves, control outcomes, or resist accountability, they place themselves in opposition to God’s design for His church. True spiritual growth requires that we allow the truth to confront our pride, recognizing that we are who we are only by the grace of God, not by our own merit or status. [36:37]

- Gospel-Centered Living Demands Humility
The gospel reminds us that we have received a gift we do not deserve, and that our identity is rooted in Christ’s work, not our own. Humility is not self-deprecation, but a right understanding of our place in God’s story—one part of a much larger body. When we fix our eyes on Jesus and His sacrifice, it becomes impossible to cling to pride, and we are freed to serve others with grace and joy. [37:27]

- The Church Must Resist the Temptation to Idolize Leaders
There is a cultural pull to equate charisma, popularity, or success with spiritual authority, but the church is called to a different standard. Leadership in the body of Christ is not about domination or self-promotion, but about being examples and servants. When churches elevate prideful leaders, they risk becoming personality-driven rather than Christ-centered, and the mission of the church is compromised. [39:34]

- Fruit in the Christian Life is Visible and Verifiable
Spiritual fruit is not merely internal change; it is outwardly visible and confirmed by the community. The testimony of others, not just self-assessment, is a key marker of genuine fruit. As we see in the example of Demetrius, the church is called to recognize, honor, and encourage those whose lives bear witness to God’s work, fostering a culture of affirmation and gratitude. [44:09]

- Celebrating the Fruit Encourages and Multiplies Faithfulness
When we intentionally honor and encourage those who are bearing fruit, we not only affirm God’s work in them but also inspire others to pursue faithfulness. Simple acts of encouragement—whether a word, a text, or public recognition—can have a profound impact, especially in a world that often overlooks quiet service. Let us make it our goal to outdo one another in showing honor, building up the body and magnifying Christ. [54:40]

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Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:45] - Windshake Week and Announcements
[02:30] - Looking Through the Window of 3 John
[04:10] - Introduction to Church Work: Part Two
[06:00] - Prayer and Preparing Our Hearts
[07:30] - The Challenge of Pride in the Church
[10:00] - Diotrephes: A Cautionary Tale
[13:00] - The Danger of Elevating Prideful Leadership
[16:00] - Gospel-Centered Living vs. Pride
[19:00] - Why We Idolize Leaders
[22:00] - Confronting Pride and Protecting the Church
[25:00] - Demetrius: Celebrating the Fruit
[28:00] - What Spiritual Fruit Looks Like
[31:00] - Honoring and Encouraging One Another
[34:00] - Practicing Encouragement in Community
[36:00] - Communion, Baptism, and Closing Prayer
[01:06:19] - Baptisms and Final Blessing

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: 3 John – Challenging the Proud, Celebrating the Fruit

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### Bible Reading

3 John 9-12 (ESV)
9 I have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority. 10 So if I come, I will bring up what he is doing, talking wicked nonsense against us. And not content with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers, and also stops those who want to and puts them out of the church. 11 Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God. 12 Demetrius has received a good testimony from everyone, and from the truth itself. We also add our testimony, and you know that our testimony is true.

James 4:6 (ESV)
But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

Romans 12:10 (ESV)
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

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### Observation Questions

1. According to 3 John, what specific behaviors did Diotrephes display that were harmful to the church?
*(see [34:43])*

2. What does John say about Demetrius, and how does the church confirm his character?
*(see [43:10])*

3. In James 4:6, what is God’s response to pride and to humility?

4. According to Romans 12:10, what are believers encouraged to do for one another?

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### Interpretation Questions

1. Why does John publicly call out Diotrephes by name in his letter? What does this tell us about the seriousness of pride in the church?
*(see [35:44])*

2. The sermon mentioned that pride is “antithetical to gospel-centered living.” Why is pride so incompatible with the message of Jesus?
*(see [36:37])*

3. What does it mean that spiritual fruit is “visible and verifiable” and not just an internal feeling or change? How does this shape our understanding of what it means to follow Jesus?
*(see [44:09])*

4. Why is it important for the church to “outdo one another in showing honor”? What effect does this have on the church community?
*(see [45:59])*

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### Application Questions

1. The sermon challenged us to let God reveal any pride in our hearts. What is one area of your life where you might be tempted to “put yourself first” or resist accountability? How can you surrender that to God this week?
*(see [56:30])*

2. Have you ever seen or experienced a situation where a leader (or even a regular church member) was elevated for their charisma or confidence, rather than their Christlike humility? How did that affect the church or group?
*(see [39:34])*

3. The world often celebrates self-promotion, but the church is called to humility and service. What is one practical way you can serve someone this week without expecting recognition?
*(see [37:27])*

4. Think of someone in your life (in church, family, or elsewhere) whose life shows visible fruit of following Jesus. How can you encourage or honor them this week? Be specific—will you send a text, write a note, or tell them in person?
*(see [54:40])*

5. The sermon encouraged us to “outdo one another in showing honor.” What would it look like for our small group to make this a regular habit? How could this change the atmosphere of our group or church?
*(see [45:59])*

6. When was the last time you received encouragement for something God was doing in your life? How did it impact you? How can you be that encourager for someone else?
*(see [47:47])*

7. If you struggle to see fruit in your own life, who could you ask for honest feedback or encouragement? Are you open to hearing both affirmation and gentle challenge from others?
*(see [44:59])*

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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Ask God to reveal any pride in your heart, to give you courage to surrender it, and to help you see and celebrate the fruit He is producing in others. Pray for a spirit of humility and encouragement to fill your group and your church.

Devotional

Day 1: Church Work Challenges the Proud

Pride is a dangerous force that can infiltrate the church, leading to self-promotion, control, and a loss of focus on Christ as the true head of the church. When pride goes unchecked, it not only damages individuals but also the entire community, as it elevates human leaders above their rightful place and distracts from the mission of the gospel. Scripture warns us repeatedly about the perils of pride, reminding us that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Being part of the church should make us more humble, more gracious, and more like Jesus in every way. Let the truth of the gospel challenge any pride in your heart, and remember that the church exists for Christ alone, not for the elevation of any person. [36:37]

Proverbs 16:18 (ESV)
Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

Reflection: Where in your life do you sense pride creeping in—perhaps in your opinions, your need for control, or your desire for recognition—and how can you invite God to humble you in that area today?


Day 2: Confronting and Restoring with Humility

When pride or sin arises within the church, Jesus calls us to address it directly but with humility and grace. Confrontation is not about shaming or elevating ourselves, but about restoring one another to sound faith and unity in Christ. The process Jesus outlines is personal, loving, and always aimed at growth and reconciliation, not division. If you sense pride or wrongdoing in yourself or others, ask God for the courage to address it in a way that reflects His heart—seeking restoration, not retribution. [41:29]

Matthew 18:15-17 (ESV)
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”

Reflection: Is there someone you need to lovingly confront or restore today—either by seeking forgiveness or by gently addressing an issue—and what would it look like to do this with humility and grace?


Day 3: Celebrating Visible and Verifiable Fruit

True spiritual fruit is visible and verifiable, not just an internal change but an outward expression of God’s work in our lives. The church is called to honor and celebrate the fruit God produces in and through His people, encouraging one another and building each other up. When we see evidence of God’s grace—acts of service, generosity, faithfulness, or transformation—we should acknowledge and affirm it, just as John did with Demetrius. This practice not only encourages those who are bearing fruit but also inspires the whole community to pursue Christlikeness. [44:09]

John 15:8 (ESV)
By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.

Reflection: Who in your life have you seen bearing spiritual fruit recently, and how can you specifically encourage or honor them today for the way God is working through them?


Day 4: Outdoing One Another in Showing Honor

The church is designed to be a place where we outdo one another in showing honor, building each other up, and expressing genuine love. Rather than promoting pride or competition, we are called to recognize and esteem those who labor among us, celebrating their contributions and the ways God is using them. This culture of encouragement strengthens the body of Christ and helps each member flourish in their calling. Make it a goal to intentionally encourage someone each day, letting them know how you see God at work in their life. [45:59]

Romans 12:10 (ESV)
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Reflection: What is one specific way you can honor or encourage someone in your church, family, or community today—perhaps with a text, a note, or a word of affirmation?


Day 5: Surrendering Pride and Embracing Christ’s Humility

At the heart of the gospel is the most humble act in history: Jesus laying down His life for us. We are called to lay down our pride—the desire to fix ourselves, save ourselves, or make ourselves good enough—and instead surrender to Christ, trusting in His finished work. This surrender is not just a one-time event but a daily posture, asking God to reveal and remove any pride in our hearts and to help us walk in humility. As we do, we celebrate the fruit of His sacrifice through communion, baptism, and lives transformed by His grace. [56:30]

Philippians 2:5-8 (ESV)
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Reflection: What is one area of your life where you are still trying to “fix yourself” or prove your worth, and how can you surrender that to Jesus today, embracing His humility and grace?

Quotes

There's a reason that John writes this warning, naming this guy to this church. And it's in line with what Scripture warns about. Because pride is dangerous to the individual. Here's what Scripture says, Proverbs 16, pride goes before destruction. Could it be any more clear? And a haughty spirit before a fall. James said, God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. There's not many things that we are overtly told that God opposes. Pride is one of them. [00:36:03] (41 seconds)  #PrideLeadsToFall Edit Clip

We are who we are only by the grace of God. For His glory, for His glory, for His fame, and I am part of an entire body, one part of many. I am not the central focus of this story and neither are you. Church work should challenge the proud. Being part of the church should make us more humble, more gracious, more like Jesus in every way. [00:37:42] (28 seconds)  #GraceInCommunity Edit Clip

I believe, here's my hypothesis. It is because we are all drawn to elevate man above his rightful place. Because in doing so, it lures us into believing that we can be in control too. We're culturally conditioned to worship celebrities to make kings and idols. We love our democracies and so we view popularity as truth and assume that bigger and greater means more right. [00:39:23] (26 seconds)  #IdolatryOfControl Edit Clip

We equate charisma with calling and confidence with certainty. We love winning more than we love. So the church often ends up with leaders like Diatra face. And that's one of the things I've loved in 19 years at PBC. It is that we, that it's what drew me and what I pointed out in that, yes, prideful quip I made. But I still love that we have leaders who have all different opinions on important but non -essential issues. Rather than all aligning to one person's opinion on things that don't essentially matter. [00:39:51] (36 seconds)  #UnityInDiversity Edit Clip

Too often in church, we not only neglect to confront pride, but we elevate it. We say, look at it. Look how great it is. Instead, when outlining what leadership should look like in the church, we're told by Peter, it ought to be not domineering, but being examples. That's what leadership is. That's what church work looks like. It challenges the pride and exalts the humble. [00:42:12] (23 seconds)  #HumbleLeadership Edit Clip

Fruit in scripture is visible. It shows. It isn't a faith where we have it deep down and there's no outward change or fruit. Jesus said we would know his followers by their fruit. He said it twice for emphasis. [00:44:13] (19 seconds)  #VisibleFruit Edit Clip

Scripture over and over again encourages us to be in the context of community for many reasons. But this is one. In fact, what John is doing here is exactly this. He is verifying Demetrius so that we can know who can be trusted. It's a reference check. It's a first century reference check. That, hey, this isn't fake fruit, spoiled fruit, or fruit of the loom. This is legit fruit that can be trusted. That's how church works. [00:45:26] (27 seconds)  #HonorTheFruit Edit Clip

Maybe one thing you could do with today's sermon is celebrating the fruit is like make it a goal. You usually think this would be a good thing. Make it a goal to encourage somebody every day about some fruit you see in their lives. How many of you think your kids would blossom underneath that kind of encouragement? Maybe that's where you need to start. Just tell your kids something you see in them. Yeah? It encourages people to keep following the Lord even when they don't know if it's working. [00:55:44] (27 seconds) Edit Clip