Confronting Marriage and Morality in Today's Church

Summary

### Summary

In today's sermon, we delved into the often-avoided yet crucial topics of marriage, sexual morality, and the divisive issues that have plagued the Christian community over the past 60 years. Reflecting on my own journey into ministry, I recalled a promise I made to always address the tough issues head-on. This commitment led us to explore passages that are often omitted from the lectionary, yet are vital for understanding the complexities of our faith and society.

We discussed the significant debates around sexual orientation, leadership within the church, and the institution of marriage. These issues have caused considerable conflict within denominations and ecumenically. I shared personal experiences from my time in university and ministry, highlighting the fierce debates and the emotional toll they took on congregations.

We then shifted our focus to the Apostle Paul's response to the breakdown of social mores in Corinth, particularly concerning marriage. Drawing from Brad Wilcox's book "Get Married," we examined the sociological, economic, and psychological benefits of marriage. Despite the exceptions and challenges, the underlying argument remains that strong marriages are essential for strong families and communities.

We also touched on the growing anti-marriage and anti-children movements in our culture, emphasizing the profound emptiness that comes from excessive self-centeredness. Paul’s teachings offer a balanced view of marriage, advocating for mutual respect and commitment between spouses. He also provides a hopeful perspective on navigating differences within a marriage, whether they be of faith or opinion.

Finally, we acknowledged the difficulties and complexities of maintaining a marriage, stressing the importance of compassion and understanding. While not condemning those whose marriages have dissolved, we reaffirmed the value of the institution of marriage in building strong families and communities. Paul's message remains relevant today, urging us to celebrate and uphold the sanctity of marriage.

### Key Takeaways

1. Addressing Tough Issues: It's essential to confront difficult topics like marriage and sexual morality head-on, rather than avoiding them. These issues have caused significant conflict within the Christian community, and addressing them openly can lead to greater understanding and unity. [01:29]

2. Historical Context of Paul's Teachings: Understanding the context in which Paul wrote his letters is crucial. He was responding to a breakdown in social mores in Corinth, advocating for strong marriages as a foundation for stable communities. This historical perspective helps us apply his teachings to our modern context. [06:28]

3. The Benefits of Marriage: Strong marriages contribute to strong families and communities. Despite the challenges and exceptions, the sociological, economic, and psychological benefits of marriage are well-documented. This underscores the importance of upholding the institution of marriage in our society. [08:19]

4. Navigating Differences in Marriage: Paul offers a hopeful perspective on dealing with differences within a marriage, whether they be of faith or opinion. He encourages spouses to hold on to their commitment and work through their differences, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and support. [13:23]

5. Compassion and Understanding: Maintaining a marriage is challenging, and it's important to approach this topic with compassion and understanding. While not condemning those whose marriages have dissolved, we must recognize the value of marriage in building strong families and communities. [14:59]

### YouTube Chapters

[0:00] - Welcome
[01:29] - Addressing Tough Issues
[03:00] - Divisive Issues in the Church
[04:41] - Personal Experiences and Debates
[06:28] - Historical Context of Paul's Teachings
[08:19] - The Benefits of Marriage
[09:49] - Anti-Marriage and Anti-Children Movements
[11:43] - Challenges of Marriage and Parenthood
[13:23] - Navigating Differences in Marriage
[14:59] - Compassion and Understanding
[16:39] - Paul's Balanced View on Marriage
[18:36] - Relevance of Paul's Message Today
[20:38] - Closing Prayer

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1 Corinthians 7:1-16 (NIV)
> "Now for the matters you wrote about: 'It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.' But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?"

#### Observation Questions
1. What are the key issues Paul addresses in 1 Corinthians 7:1-16 regarding marriage and sexual morality?
2. How does Paul describe the mutual responsibilities of husbands and wives in marriage? ([13:23])
3. What does Paul say about the relationship between a believing spouse and an unbelieving spouse? ([13:23])
4. According to the sermon, what are some of the sociological, economic, and psychological benefits of marriage mentioned by Brad Wilcox? ([08:19])

#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does Paul emphasize mutual respect and commitment between spouses in 1 Corinthians 7:1-16? How does this relate to the sermon’s discussion on the importance of strong marriages? ([13:23])
2. How does the historical context of Corinth's social mores help us understand Paul's teachings on marriage and sexual morality? ([06:28])
3. In what ways does the sermon suggest that the anti-marriage and anti-children movements reflect a broader cultural shift towards self-centeredness? ([09:49])
4. How does Paul's hopeful perspective on navigating differences within a marriage apply to modern relationships, especially those with significant differences in faith or opinion? ([13:23])

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you had to address a tough issue in your own life or within your community. How did you approach it, and what was the outcome? ([01:29])
2. How can understanding the historical context of Paul's teachings help you apply his advice on marriage and sexual morality in your own life? ([06:28])
3. What steps can you take to strengthen your own marriage or support the marriages of those around you, considering the sociological, economic, and psychological benefits discussed in the sermon? ([08:19])
4. How do you handle significant differences of opinion within your relationships, whether they are of faith or other important matters? What strategies can you adopt from Paul's teachings to navigate these differences more effectively? ([13:23])
5. In what ways can you show compassion and understanding towards those whose marriages have dissolved, while still upholding the value of the institution of marriage? ([14:59])
6. How can you counteract the cultural pressures that devalue marriage and having children in your own life and community? ([09:49])
7. What practical steps can you take to ensure that your marriage, or the marriages you support, are built on mutual respect, commitment, and self-giving love? ([16:39])

Devotional

Day 1: Confronting Difficult Topics
Addressing tough issues like marriage and sexual morality is essential for fostering greater understanding and unity within the Christian community. These topics have historically caused significant conflict, but avoiding them only perpetuates division. By openly discussing these matters, we can create a space for healing and reconciliation. It's important to remember that these conversations should be approached with grace and a willingness to listen, as they often touch on deeply personal and emotional aspects of people's lives.

In the context of the church, addressing these issues head-on can lead to a more robust and resilient faith community. It allows us to confront our differences and work towards a common understanding rooted in love and respect. This approach not only strengthens individual relationships but also fortifies the church as a whole, making it a more welcoming and inclusive place for all. [01:29]

1 Corinthians 5:12-13 (ESV): "For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. 'Purge the evil person from among you.'"

Reflection: Think of a difficult topic you have been avoiding in your personal life or within your community. How can you approach this issue with grace and a willingness to listen, fostering greater understanding and unity?

Day 2: Historical Context of Paul's Teachings
Understanding the historical context in which Paul wrote his letters is crucial for applying his teachings to our modern lives. In Corinth, Paul was addressing a breakdown in social mores, particularly concerning marriage. His advocacy for strong marriages was not just a personal preference but a response to the societal issues of his time. By grounding his teachings in the realities of his context, Paul provided timeless principles that remain relevant today.

Paul's emphasis on strong marriages as a foundation for stable communities is a reminder that our personal relationships have broader social implications. When we invest in our marriages and family relationships, we contribute to the overall health and stability of our communities. This perspective encourages us to view our personal commitments not just as private matters but as integral parts of a larger social fabric. [06:28]

1 Corinthians 7:2-3 (ESV): "But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband."

Reflection: How does understanding the historical context of Paul's teachings change your perspective on marriage and its role in society today? What steps can you take to strengthen your own relationships in light of this understanding?

Day 3: The Benefits of Marriage
Strong marriages contribute significantly to the well-being of families and communities. Sociological, economic, and psychological research consistently shows that stable marriages provide numerous benefits, including emotional support, financial stability, and a nurturing environment for children. These benefits underscore the importance of upholding the institution of marriage in our society, despite the challenges and exceptions that may arise.

Marriage is not without its difficulties, but the rewards of a committed partnership far outweigh the struggles. By investing in our marriages, we create a foundation for strong families and communities. This investment requires effort, patience, and a willingness to grow together, but the long-term benefits are profound and far-reaching. [08:19]

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (ESV): "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken."

Reflection: Reflect on the benefits that marriage brings to individuals and communities. How can you actively contribute to the strength and stability of your own marriage or support the marriages of those around you?

Day 4: Navigating Differences in Marriage
Paul offers a hopeful perspective on dealing with differences within a marriage, whether they be of faith or opinion. He encourages spouses to hold on to their commitment and work through their differences with mutual respect and support. This approach fosters a deeper understanding and a stronger bond between partners, even in the face of significant challenges.

Navigating differences in marriage requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to see things from your partner's perspective. It's important to remember that differences can be a source of growth and enrichment rather than division. By embracing these differences and working through them together, couples can build a more resilient and fulfilling relationship. [13:23]

Ephesians 4:2-3 (ESV): "With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

Reflection: Think about a recent disagreement or difference of opinion in your marriage or a close relationship. How can you approach this situation with humility, gentleness, and a commitment to mutual respect and support?

Day 5: Compassion and Understanding
Maintaining a marriage is challenging, and it's important to approach this topic with compassion and understanding. While not condemning those whose marriages have dissolved, we must recognize the value of marriage in building strong families and communities. Compassion and understanding are essential in supporting those who are struggling in their marriages or who have experienced the pain of divorce.

By fostering a culture of compassion and understanding, we create a supportive environment where individuals feel valued and cared for, regardless of their marital status. This approach not only helps those in difficult situations but also strengthens the overall fabric of our communities. It's a reminder that we are all in this together, and our collective well-being depends on our ability to support and uplift one another. [14:59]

Colossians 3:12-14 (ESV): "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."

Reflection: Reflect on how you can show compassion and understanding to those around you, especially those who are struggling in their marriages or have experienced divorce. How can you be a source of support and encouragement in their lives?

Quotes

### Quotes for Outreach

1. "Let's create some space where we can recognize that we are all human and that we are that mistakes are a reality of who we are that's essential to our theology so it's important to step in with some humility into this conversation that we can always find exceptions but the but the underlying argument is still there the strong marriage is essential to a strong family and from there the correlation to strong communities and neighborhoods is pretty is pretty there it's pretty strong." [08:19]( | | )

2. "Being a father and a husband is the most demanding challenging frustrating and amazing thing you can ever do in life this idea somehow that happiness is only associated with just the hedonistic values that paul's responding to or this excessive self-centeredness there's an emptiness in that that is so profound and that for those of you who are parents and grandparents i mean it." [11:43]( | | )

3. "A strong marriage is one in which the the the two people involved in that marriage can literally lean on each other and when that when it's when their own personal lives may be faltering and and it's that's that's a strong marriage you can just save the other person what you're really talking about here is is just being present being loving being committed being self-giving towards your spouse." [16:39]( | | )

4. "Strong marriages result in strong healthy vibrant children who in turn grow on grow up to do wonderful things and when they do that the rest of the community the rest of the neighborhood the rest of the world also grows stronger." [18:36]( | | )

### Quotes for Members

1. "One of the members of that committee, one day, I'll never forget this, he said to me, I want you to promise something to me. The finger was really pointed. I want you to promise something to me, that you'll never be like all those ministers that never talks about the tough stuff. You're not going to be like these ministers that never really says what they believe. I want you to promise me that. And he did. That was his voice. He was, I think it was ex-army, too. That explained a lot. I said, oh, I promise. I promise. And I've kept that promise, all these years later." [01:29]( | | )

2. "Well, marriage has been extremely divisive issue over the last 60 years. And I guess the third I would, would, would offer would be abortion, would be a third issue that has been extremely divisive in the last 60 years. And so we have two of the three issues that are, are, are the most divisive. pronounced in terms of creating conflict both within churches within denominations and and ecumenically and yet the the structure by which we approach preaching doesn't even bring a lot of these core texts to the surface to be talked about so i think we have to talk about these questions and my goodness there have been such egregious and pathetic use of scripture around the issues particularly of sexual morality but marriage i mean i i've had situations where i've had congregants standing and yelling things and leaving you know around issues of of god loving all people well apparently not for some folks." [03:00]( | | )

3. "I think we became so selfish about marriages that it is drastic impact it has had horrible impacts in so many different ways in our society and the anti the anti-marriage movement also now has an anti-children movement you know you can be so much happier apparently if you don't have kids i would challenge that obviously you know being a father and a husband is the most demanding challenging frustrating and amazing thing you can ever do in life this idea somehow that happiness is only associated with just the hedonistic values that paul's responding to or this excessive self-centeredness there's an emptiness in that that is so profound and that for those of you who are parents and grandparents i mean it." [11:43]( | | )

4. "Paul offers this incredibly hopeful idea he says look hold on to that within the within the institution of marriage hold on to the idea that there's there's going to be differences and you got to navigate and work your way through those and the marriage is the best institution of marriage and the best institution of marriage and the best institution of marriage is the best institution to try and make that work but it doesn't always so we have to sit here and it's important for me to state to state this very categorically that i am not offering a a judgmental condemnation of those whose marriage dissolves or breaks down i've worked with lots of couples over the year years you know so far i was thinking back all the marriages and counseling you know i i can't think of any any that have collapsed yet that i'm aware of certainly i know within a lot of my friends and the marriages have dissolved and collapsed for a whole host of reasons and there have even been times where in a counseling situation i don't profess to be a marriage counselor but i've certainly suggested that in certain circumstances particularly where abuse is is prevalent that that marriage needs to dissolve it is toxic and unhealthy and not the grounds for a strong family so we have to step into this with profound sense of compassion for how difficult it is to hold a marriage together." [14:59]( | | )

5. "Paul what paul is really saying is that for that society in that time making a commitment to a marriage was in the spent was essential in building not only strong families a place for children to to grow into and to be nurtured and loved and supported but also to hold that society together which at that time was really very splintered and headed in a wrong way that's what i think paul's doing and i think that message is still important today it's still an institution of marriage it's still worth us celebrating and i believe it is worth us pushing back against those who somehow seem to think that it's it's an old archaic idea no strong marriages result in strong healthy vibrant children who in turn grow on grow up to do wonderful things and when they do that the rest of the community the rest of the neighborhood the rest of the world also grows stronger." [18:36]( | | )

Chatbot

Transcript

What was the most surprising thing in this sermon?

Were there any personal stories shared?