Confronting Emotions: Love Beyond Comfort Zones

 

Summary

Taking a deep breath, I reflect on the journey we've been on together in this series, "You're Not the Boss of Me." Today, we conclude by focusing on the emotions that disguise themselves as virtues, such as fear, discomfort, and indifference, which often masquerade as sensitivity and concern. These emotions can control us, preventing us from doing what love requires. Jesus teaches us that true love sometimes demands uncomfortable actions, like confronting someone we care about when they are on a destructive path.

Jesus emphasized the importance of monitoring our hearts, as what resides within us eventually manifests outwardly. He warned against allowing unresolved issues to grow stronger within us, likening them to demons lifting weights in the cellar of our souls. To prevent this, we must pay attention to the emotions that vie for control over our moods and words.

In our relationships, fear of rejection and discomfort with conflict can prevent us from acting in love. Jesus calls us to confront these emotions and not let them be the boss of us. He challenges us to step out of our comfort zones and engage with those we care about, even when it feels uncomfortable. Indifference, too, is a dangerous emotion, as it leads to a lack of concern where there should be care.

Jesus' teachings remind us that love is not silent. It requires us to speak up and act, even when it's difficult. He calls us to confront those who are stumbling, not out of judgment, but out of love and concern for their well-being. This is not about being nosy or intrusive, but about being a true friend and follower of Christ, willing to do the hard things for the sake of others.

Key Takeaways:

- Monitor Your Heart: Jesus teaches that what is inside us will eventually come out. We must develop the habit of monitoring our hearts to prevent unresolved issues from growing stronger and affecting our relationships with God and others. [01:19]

- Confront Fear and Discomfort: Fear of rejection and discomfort with conflict can disguise themselves as sensitivity. Jesus calls us to recognize these emotions for what they are and not let them control us. True love sometimes requires uncomfortable actions. [05:26]

- Beware of Indifference: Indifference is a lack of concern where there should be care. It often hides behind the guise of sensitivity. Jesus challenges us to confront indifference and act in love, even when it feels uncomfortable. [06:06]

- Love Requires Action: Jesus instructs us to confront those we care about when they are on a destructive path. This is not about judgment, but about love and concern for their well-being. Love is not silent; it speaks up and acts. [23:30]

- Follow Jesus' Example: Jesus' love for us was not passive. He acted, even when it was uncomfortable. We are called to do the same for others, loving them as He has loved us. This is the essence of being a follower of Christ. [34:35]

Youtube Chapters:

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:12] - Introduction to the Series
[00:36] - Monitoring Our Hearts
[01:44] - Dealing with Internal Demons
[02:43] - Emotions Competing for Control
[03:12] - Destructive Emotions Disguised as Virtues
[04:45] - Fear and Discomfort in Relationships
[05:26] - Recognizing and Confronting Fear
[06:06] - The Danger of Indifference
[09:04] - Jesus' Call to Confrontation
[11:15] - The Importance of Not Causing Others to Stumble
[14:15] - Taking Extreme Measures to Avoid Stumbling
[19:33] - The Parable of the Lost Sheep
[23:30] - Our Role in Helping Others
[34:35] - Following Jesus' Example of Love

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
1. Matthew 18:15-17 - "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector."

2. Matthew 18:12-14 - "What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish."

Observation Questions:
1. What does Jesus instruct us to do if a brother or sister sins against us? How does this process escalate if they do not listen? (Matthew 18:15-17)
2. In the parable of the lost sheep, what action does the shepherd take when one sheep wanders away? What does this reveal about the shepherd's priorities? (Matthew 18:12-14)
3. According to the sermon, what are some emotions that disguise themselves as virtues, and how do they affect our actions? [03:12]
4. How does Jesus describe the consequences of causing someone to stumble, and what imagery does he use to emphasize the severity of this action? [12:04]

Interpretation Questions:
1. Why might Jesus emphasize the importance of confronting a brother or sister who sins? What does this say about the nature of love and community? [23:30]
2. How does the parable of the lost sheep illustrate God's love and concern for those who have wandered away? What implications does this have for how we should treat others who have strayed? [19:33]
3. In what ways can fear, discomfort, and indifference prevent us from acting in love, according to the sermon? How can recognizing these emotions help us overcome them? [05:26]
4. What does the sermon suggest about the relationship between monitoring our hearts and our ability to love others effectively? [01:19]

Application Questions:
1. Reflect on a time when you allowed fear or discomfort to prevent you from speaking up in a situation. What could you have done differently, and how might you approach a similar situation in the future? [05:26]
2. Identify someone in your life who may be on a destructive path. How can you lovingly and sensitively approach them to express your concern, following Jesus' example? [23:30]
3. Consider the emotions that often control your actions. What steps can you take to monitor your heart and ensure these emotions do not become the "boss" of you? [01:19]
4. How can you actively combat indifference in your relationships and ensure that you are genuinely caring for those around you? [06:06]
5. Think of a situation where you might need to confront someone out of love. What practical steps can you take to prepare for this conversation, and how can you ensure it is done with the right intentions? [23:30]
6. Reflect on the parable of the lost sheep. Is there someone in your life who has wandered away from faith or community? How can you reach out to them and show them they are valued and missed? [19:33]
7. How can you apply the principle of "love is not silent" in your daily interactions? Identify one specific relationship where you can practice this principle this week. [31:16]

Devotional

Day 1: Monitor Your Heart
In our daily lives, the emotions and thoughts we harbor within us have a profound impact on our actions and relationships. Jesus teaches us the importance of monitoring our hearts, as unresolved issues can grow stronger and manifest outwardly, affecting our interactions with others and our relationship with God. By being vigilant about what resides within us, we can prevent negative emotions from taking control and ensure that our actions are guided by love and compassion. This practice requires self-awareness and a commitment to addressing internal struggles before they influence our behavior. [01:19]

Proverbs 4:23-24 (ESV): "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you."

Reflection: What unresolved issues or emotions are you currently harboring in your heart? How can you begin to address them today to prevent them from affecting your relationships?


Day 2: Confront Fear and Discomfort
Fear of rejection and discomfort with conflict often disguise themselves as sensitivity, preventing us from acting in love. Jesus calls us to recognize these emotions for what they are and not let them control us. True love sometimes requires us to take uncomfortable actions, such as confronting someone we care about when they are on a destructive path. By confronting our fears and stepping out of our comfort zones, we can engage more authentically with those we love and fulfill the call to love as Jesus did. [05:26]

2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV): "For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

Reflection: Identify a situation where fear or discomfort is holding you back from acting in love. What steps can you take today to confront these emotions and act courageously?


Day 3: Beware of Indifference
Indifference is a dangerous emotion that often masquerades as sensitivity, leading to a lack of concern where there should be care. Jesus challenges us to confront indifference and act in love, even when it feels uncomfortable. By recognizing and addressing indifference in our hearts, we can ensure that our actions are motivated by genuine concern for others' well-being. This requires us to be proactive in our relationships, seeking to understand and support those around us rather than remaining passive. [06:06]

James 4:17 (ESV): "So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin."

Reflection: In what areas of your life have you allowed indifference to take root? How can you actively show care and concern for someone in need today?


Day 4: Love Requires Action
Jesus instructs us to confront those we care about when they are on a destructive path, not out of judgment, but out of love and concern for their well-being. Love is not silent; it speaks up and acts, even when it's difficult. By taking action in love, we demonstrate our commitment to the well-being of others and fulfill the call to be true friends and followers of Christ. This requires courage and a willingness to engage in difficult conversations for the sake of those we love. [23:30]

Galatians 6:1-2 (ESV): "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

Reflection: Think of someone in your life who may be on a destructive path. How can you lovingly and gently confront them today to help guide them back to a healthier path?


Day 5: Follow Jesus' Example
Jesus' love for us was not passive; He acted, even when it was uncomfortable. We are called to do the same for others, loving them as He has loved us. This is the essence of being a follower of Christ. By following Jesus' example, we can demonstrate His love to those around us and make a meaningful impact in their lives. This requires us to be intentional in our actions, seeking to embody the love and compassion that Jesus showed during His time on earth. [34:35]

1 John 3:18 (ESV): "Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."

Reflection: How can you actively follow Jesus' example of love in your daily interactions? What specific actions can you take today to demonstrate His love to someone in your life?

Quotes


Jesus said that what's on the inside of us eventually comes on the outside of us and consequently we need to not simply monitor what's going on with our behavior, because all of us are pretty good at monitoring our behavior. We need to develop the habit, we need to develop the habit of monitoring our hearts. [00:18:52]

If you don't deal with your demons, those things on the inside of you, not literal demons but the stuff that just kinda, got inside of you because of something that happened in your childhood or something that happened in your high school, or something that happened to you, and you're just dealing with that stuff. [00:12:35]

Fear of rejection. Discomfort with conflict, some of you are conflict-adverse. Apprehension around confrontation. These are emotions that basically disguise themselves as what. As sensitivity and concern. When in fact they're just fear, discomfort and apprehension. [00:04:45]

In order to love other people, in order to be for other people what other people need us to be for them, as we're gonna see in a second. In order to be for other people what Jesus actually calls and commands us to be, we have to recognize fear for what it is, discomfort for what it is, our fear of engaging in things that are uncomfortable for what it is. [00:05:26]

It's not so much a feeling, it's not so much an emotion, as a lack of a feeling or a lack of emotion, where there should be one. It's a lack of concern where there should be concern. And the thing is, we rarely spot indifference in our lives because it's so embarrassing. [00:06:06]

When you need someone, and you will if you haven't already, when you need someone to mind your business because you're not doing such a good job minding your business, are you going to want those people, those friends, to give in to fear and discomfort. Give in to indifference? [00:07:34]

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault. To which you may conclude, you know what, that's reason enough right there to never ever follow Jesus because I'm not ever ever gonna do that, right. I mean let me ask you a question. Who does that? People who care. [00:08:56]

If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me, to stumble, that is to fall down, to get tripped up, to go out of bounds, to get thrown off course. In other words, if anyone who comes along and causes one of these people who are just beginning to believe in me, just beginning to get their life together, just beginning to refocus and recenter their life around me. [00:11:42]

If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off, here's the key word, and throw it away. It's like okay, literally no. Don't leave early. Not literally. Now, the interesting thing was hundreds of years later there would be a group of Jesus followers who began to take some of these teachings literally. He didn't mean it literally. [00:14:19]

If there's anything in your life that has the potential to get you off course. To create a regret. To create a season of your life that you'll wish you could go back to and relive. If there's anything you have control over right now that could potentially trip you up or is tripping you up, he says get rid of it, and the reason he uses such extreme measures is because God loves you so much. [00:14:56]

Love is not silent when there's something that needs to be said. Fear is silent. Discomfort is silent. Indifference is silent. Love isn't silent. And I've gotta tell you, we've done this so many times, together and separately. It rarely works out well. It rarely goes well, rarely. [00:31:18]

Love forbids me, love forbids me to remain silent. Love forbids me from minding my own business when I notice somebody else needs somebody to mind their business, especially when it's somebody I know. So here's what I wanna say to you, and then we're gonna close. [00:33:14]

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Transcript
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