Formed by Others: How Community Shapes Us

Jan 19, 2025

Devotional

Day 1: The Crucible Where Holiness Meets Human Annoyances

Community isn’t a spiritual accessory but a refining fire. Just as metals are purified in intense heat, our character is shaped through gritty, face-to-face relationships. The New Testament assumes following Jesus will involve rubbing shoulders with people who irritate, challenge, and expose our hidden flaws. These interactions aren’t distractions from holiness—they’re the forge where patience, kindness, and love are hammered into reality. Growth happens not in theoretical solitude but in the mess of shared tables and awkward conversations. [12:13]

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (Romans 12:10, NIV)

Reflection: Which relationship in your life currently feels most like a “crucible”? How might God be using that friction to shape Christlike character in you?

Day 2: Words That Create Worlds Over Coffee Breaths

Human speech holds nuclear potential—to resurrect hope or detonate despair. Every Sunday foyer chat, group text, or dinner table remark is a choice: bless with life-giving words or curse with careless ones. The early church earned nicknames like “son of encouragement” because their speech defibrillated weary souls. In a culture addicted to cynicism, Christians wield language as holy building materials, constructing communities where “ugly sweater banter” gives way to prophetic affirmations of others’ God-given gold. [24:49]

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21, NIV)

Reflection: What destructive phrase do you need to stop rehearsing about someone? What true, beautiful word is God prompting you to speak over them today?

Day 3: Neighbor Love That Can’t Be Zoomed From Canada

Jesus’ command to love neighbors uses “placion”—love anchored to physical places and actual people. Digital discipleship and long-distance community can’t replicate the formative power of shared geography. Like Jerusalem’s church sharing homes and hummus, we’re shaped by the particular humans in our streets, workplaces, and pews. Spiritual formation requires showing up—not just to events, but to the mundane mess of babysitting swaps, hospital visits, and borrowing lawnmowers from the saint next door. [17:13]

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart… and love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:30-31, NIV)

Reflection: Who are three “placion neighbors” (literal or church family) you’re avoiding investing in? What’s one practical step toward them this week?

Day 4: From “Whenever” to Devotion—Burning the Casual Calendar

Early Christians didn’t “fit in” church around brunch plans—they reordered lives around radical togetherness. Modern individualism tricks us into treating community like a buffet: sampling relationships when convenient. But “devoted” in Romans 12:10 implies the grit of marriage vows, not dating app swipes. Spiritual growth demands showing up—not just when the worship band impresses or the sermon topic titillates, but when the room feels full of strangers and the coffee tastes burnt. [20:11]

“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, to fellowship, to breaking of bread, and to prayer.” (Acts 2:42-44, NIV)

Reflection: What one commitment (attendance, serving, group participation) have you been treating as optional? How would prioritizing it transform your spiritual growth?

Day 5: Becoming Barnabas in a Burn-them-All World

Barnabas didn’t just give compliments—he staked his reputation on seeing people’s buried potential. When others feared Saul the persecutor, he championed Saul the apostle. This “son of encouragement” modeled speech that doesn’t flatter but fortifies—calling out kingdom destiny over people’s failures. In an age of hot takes and cancel culture, Christians get to be restorers: speaking hope to the shrapnel-wounded, whispering “you’re Paul-in-waiting” to every Saul. [33:44]

“Barnabas took [Saul] and brought him to the apostles… He told them how Saul had seen the Lord.” (Acts 9:26-27, NIV)

Reflection: Who needs you to be their Barnabas this week? What specific, bold affirmation can you speak to call out their God-given potential?

Sermon Summary

Community begins with a searching question, who gets the most time, the most table space, the most ordinary access to a person’s life? The people who sit at the table, share the sport, join the prayers, and fill the week are not neutral background noise. Community forms opinions, thought life, speech, behaviour, and, in the end, character.

Paul’s words, “be devoted to one another in love,” land in a world that is radically individualised, lonely, and fractured. The New Testament refuses the idea of a solo Christian life. Spiritual formation happens in the space between people, in long term relationships that act like a crucible. Crucibles are hard, but they purify. People who stay also grow.

The culture of “me, myself, and I” easily gets transposed onto faith. The language of a private spiritual life with worship on Spotify, podcasts from somewhere else, better coffee elsewhere, and no awkward foyer conversations sounds attractive, but the New Testament never gives a picture of an unchurched Christian. Jesus loves the one personally and fiercely, but the Shepherd does not find the one and build a little fence around it. Christ carries the one back into the fold.

The New Testament’s “one another” commands assume close fellowship and real difficulty. The quiet time can feel holy until actual people appear. Theoretical kindness often finds itself unprepared for very real annoyances. Holiness is not proven in a vacuum. The fruit of the Spirit grows in the company of wondrous, glorious, restraining, and sometimes offensive people.

Paul’s vision takes flesh in sincere love, sacrificial giving, spiritual support, and sanctified speech. Sincere love is agape, not gushy emotion, but a direction of the will toward the good of another. Neighbor love is plesion, love with a place and a person, not a grand vague feeling toward everybody. The place matters, Newtonards matters, the actual people in front of the church matter.

Devotion means more than preference. Devotion means intensity, frequency, faithful commitment, open tables, open hands, shared resources, and the Spirit working through gifts given for others. Sanctified speech means blessing rather than cursing, speaking the intention of God over people. Words create worlds. Criticism shrinks souls, but encouragement can act like spiritual adrenaline, putting courage in, on, and around someone. Barnabas, the son of encouragement, saw Paul inside Saul and made space for him to become it. The community of Christ becomes visible when one another love shows the world the person and love of Jesus.

Key Takeaways

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:36] - Who Is Forming Character?
[02:42] - Devoted To One Another In Love
[03:30] - Community As The Crucible
[05:03] - Paul Speaks Into Individualism
[06:13] - The Myth Of Solo Christianity
[08:46] - The New Testament One Anothers
[10:13] - People Expose Real Holiness
[14:09] - Four Practices Of Community
[15:08] - Agape And Neighbor Love
[20:11] - Devotion Over Preference
[22:06] - Sacrificial Giving And Open Hands
[23:19] - Spiritual Support And Gifts
[24:01] - Blessing Instead Of Cursing
[29:29] - Encouragement As Spiritual Adrenaline
[32:25] - Barnabas, Son Of Encouragement

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading
Romans 12:10 (ESV)
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Acts 2:42-47 (ESV)
And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.

Observation questions

What specific actions does Romans 12:10 associate with loving others? How does this differ from passive or theoretical kindness?
In Acts 2:42-47, what four practices did the early church prioritize, and what was the result of their devotion to these practices?
The sermon mentions that "words create worlds" ([25:17]). How does Proverbs 18:21 ("Death and life are in the power of the tongue") reinforce this idea?

Interpretation questions

Why might the New Testament compare Christian community to a "crucible" ([03:30])? What does this metaphor reveal about the purpose of difficult relationships in spiritual growth?
How does the command to "love your neighbor" (Mark 12:31) shift when "neighbor" is understood as plesion—a specific person in a specific place ([17:13])?
The early church in Acts 2 shared resources and time sacrificially. Why might this level of generosity have been essential to their witness and unity?

Application questions

Reflect on the people who occupy the "most table space" in your life ([00:36]). How might their influence be shaping your character, and how could you intentionally invest in relationships that challenge you to grow in Christlikeness?
Agape love is described as a choice to act for another’s good, not a feeling ([15:08]). What is one practical way to demonstrate this kind of love to someone in your church or neighborhood this week, even if it feels awkward or inconvenient?
The sermon warns against letting preferences (like better coffee or podcasts) replace devotion to a local church ([21:37]). Where have you prioritized convenience over commitment in your spiritual life? What step could you take to deepen your presence in your church community?
Think of a time when someone’s words either "shrunk your soul" or acted as "spiritual adrenaline" ([29:29]). How can you intentionally speak blessing—God’s intention—over someone in your circle who needs courage this week?
Barnabas "saw Paul inside Saul" and advocated for him ([33:23]). Who in your community might need someone to see their potential and create space for them to step into it? How could you actively encourage them?

Sermon Clips

46s

#LifeReleasingCommunity

“``Not a sweet word like a cherry on the top of their life, but like a defibrillator to their heart. Your encouragement can actually bring them back to life. And what could God release in this community? How many people in this church are carrying just breathtaking potential? And all it needs is for someone to just come alongside them, run alongside them, and say, you can do this or tell me more about that, or let me create space for you to lead in that way. Let's be a community that releases life and blessing. Our culture in the world right now is more cynical and more critical than ever. We, as the alternative community of Christ, need to exist in the opposite spirit.”

48s

#ChurchOfEncouragement

“If criticism shrinks our souls, encouragement can restore them. In a world of cynicism and criticism, we are called to be an alternative community of encouragement and life. What if Hoist Church, Newton Ards, developed a reputation for being the most encouraging church that you could ever walk into? Like, what if that was our thing? There's so much power in encouragement. It has a disproportionate effect on us. One author actually wrote a book called Spiritual Adrenaline, and his argument was that what adrenaline does to the body, you know, when it gives you that kind of momentary superpower, encouragement actually does it to the soul.”

56s

#ChooseAgape

“If Jesus was talking about that real gushy type of love, you know, the like, no, you hang up. You hang up. You know, that kinda you know, that kinda, like, gush. If Jesus was talking about that or that, you know, that, like, really just that feeling when you haven't seen your best friend in a while and you see them, if Jesus was talking about that, this command would be utterly exhausting. Like, how are we supposed to feel that for other people all the everyone that we meet? It'd be impossible. But, no, Jesus is talking about agape, which is not an emotionally driven they it's it's a direction of the will. It's a choice to make, to move in the direction of love, faithfulness, and willing the absolute best for others, even those others that we don't like, and serving their needs.”

59s

#WordsCreateWorlds

“There is an exponential amount of power housed within the human voice. Proverbs 18 says, the tongue has the power of life and death, or to use Paul's language, the power to bless or curse. In Genesis one, we see God call forth creation into existence with the words, let there be light. And then the first task he gives humanity is to name the animals, to speak words over them, to call them by names, to give them identity. We are made in the image of our creator God, and just as his words carry power to create the world, our words hold power to shape and define the world around us. Or as Adam often says in our house, as we're trying to raise our kids to be kind, he says to them, words create worlds. Words create worlds.”

62s

#BornIntoFamily

“So you're saved by Christ, but then you're immediately born into the family of God, where you have one father and many, many, many brothers and sisters. Now I don't say all of this to undermine your personal relationship with God or your individuality before him. He loves you personally and fiercely. He knows your name. He numbers the hairs on your head. He loves you personally. And in the Bible, we do read about Jesus, you know, the good shepherd when he leaves the 99, and he goes after the one. He does seek you or you as a person. You are personally, richly, deeply loved by Jesus. But here's the thing, when he goes out and he seeks the one and he finds them, he doesn't sort of build a little fence around that shape and then stay nearby. What does he do? He picks him up, brings him back into the fold.”

67s

#DevotionOverPreference

“And the truth is, church, if we wanna be formed in community, we have to be guided by devotion and commitment, not just preference. And how this sincere love then gets outworked is in sacrificial giving. Again, we see this played out in Acts two. So devotion looks like giving our time and sharing our resources. It looks like offering our tables and occupying other tables. It looks like treating our finances with open hands instead of closed fists, always being ready to give generously in our tithes and offerings to church and also to meet needs when they arise. Money is one of Jesus' most repeated warnings in the New Testament because of the way it gets a hold of us. But part of living in community is learning to live lightly and generously. And God takes our little offering, and he does something beautiful with it amongst us.”

40s

#WordsMatterAlways

“Life and death are in the power of our tongue. And you know what, guys? I think we think the middle ground between those two is a lot bigger than it actually is. You know? I think we think there's this huge middle ground that we sometimes call banter. And I'm not saying banter is wrong, but sometimes it can strike a little closer. You know, when someone is actually they're really they've had a tough week, we just make that one joke that pushes them into feeling a bit of despair when really we could have, in that moment, brought life. The middle ground is closer than we might like to believe.”

46s

#CommunityCrucible

“Christian community is crucible for Christian growth. But the problem that we face is well, crucibles are hard for one thing. Right? Like, we don't like to be in a crucible. But secondly, the problem that we face is that we live in a culture of individuals. Right? We understand life based on the society, the Western context that we're born into. We very much understand life as me, myself, and I. That's the world that we live in. That's the air that we breathe. Sociologists say that Western culture today is the most radically individualized culture to exist in human history.”

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