Christianity is Counterculture in Relationships and Marriage

Devotional

Day 1: Living Counterculturally in Relationships

Christianity calls us to live in a way that stands out from the culture around us, especially in our relationships. While the world may encourage us to give up easily or to put ourselves first, the call of Christ is to remain faithful, loving, and committed even when things get tough. Your life and your relationships are a testimony to those around you, showing what it means to follow Jesus in real, everyday situations. The way you handle challenges, disagreements, and even disappointments can either draw people toward Christ or push them away. Remember, you may be the only example of Christ that someone sees today—let your actions reflect His love and grace. [09:14]

Titus 2:1-8 (ESV)
But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

Reflection: In what specific way can you choose to respond differently than the culture around you in your closest relationship today, so that your actions point others to Christ?

Day 2: Spoiling Your Mate Through Discipline and Care

To “spoil” your mate in a Christ-like way means to love them with intentionality, discipline, and self-control—not just with gifts, but with your words, actions, and how you carry yourself. This includes being mindful of how you dress, how you speak, and how you contribute to the home, regardless of traditional gender roles. It’s about listening deeply, respecting each other’s wisdom, and being willing to serve one another in practical ways. When you love your mate with this kind of care, you reflect the way God loves and cares for you, making your relationship a living example of His grace. [16:05]

Titus 2:3-5 (ESV)
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Reflection: What is one practical way you can “spoil” your mate or a close loved one today—not with material things, but with your discipline, care, or words?

Day 3: Supporting Your Mate with Integrity and Encouragement

Supporting your mate means more than just being present; it means leading by example, encouraging with your words, and walking in integrity even when no one is watching. Your speech should build up, not tear down, and your actions should reflect the seriousness and dedication you have to your relationship and to God. Sometimes, this means holding yourself accountable, seeking wise counsel, and making sure your home is a place of encouragement and safety. When you support your mate in this way, you create an environment where both of you can thrive and grow in faith together. [27:26]

Titus 2:6-8 (ESV)
Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

Reflection: Is there a habit or pattern in your speech or actions that you need to change today to better support and encourage your mate or a loved one?

Day 4: Saving Each Other Through Commitment and Grace

There will be seasons in every relationship when love is tested—not just by outside pressures, but by the daily realities of life. “Saving” your mate is about being there for them when their confidence is low, when they are struggling, or when life hasn’t turned out as planned. It means speaking life over them, reminding them of God’s promises, and choosing to like and love them even when it’s hard. This kind of commitment is countercultural, but it is what makes a relationship strong and lasting, reflecting the saving grace that Christ has shown to us. [33:42]

Titus 2:9-10 (ESV)
Slaves are to be submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.

Reflection: Who in your life needs to hear words of encouragement or affirmation from you today, especially if they are struggling with self-doubt or disappointment?

Day 5: The Home as God’s First Institution and Your Greatest Witness

God established the home before any other institution, making it the foundation for faith, love, and witness to the world. The way you prioritize, nurture, and protect your home speaks volumes about your relationship with God. Balancing work, family, and personal time is challenging, but making your home a place of prayer, support, and Christ-like love is your highest calling. When your home reflects God’s order and grace, it becomes a powerful testimony that can draw others to Him and strengthen your own faith journey. [30:32]

Genesis 2:18, 21-24 (ESV)
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” ... So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Reflection: What is one intentional step you can take this week to make your home a stronger reflection of God’s love and order?

Sermon Summary

Today’s focus is on how Christianity calls us to live in a way that is countercultural, especially in our relationships. Drawing from Titus 2, we see Paul urging Titus to confront unhealthy leadership and to restore order in the church, which at that time met in homes. The way we live, especially in our homes and relationships, either validates or discredits the faith we profess. Our lives are the clearest testimony to those around us—sometimes the only “Bible” people will read is how we treat each other.

We are not just called to be saved and wait for heaven, but to live Christ-like lives here and now, especially in our relationships. This means loving, supporting, and even “spoiling” our mates in ways that reflect God’s love for us. Spoiling isn’t about material things, but about discipline, respect, and care—being mindful of how we speak, how we listen, and how we share responsibilities. It’s about being disciplined in our actions, not falling into cultural traps or rigid gender roles, but serving one another in love and humility.

Supporting our mates means leading by example, showing integrity, and being serious about our faith. Our words have power; we are called to encourage, not tear down. Sometimes, that means taking a moment to cool off before coming home, so we don’t bring the frustrations of the world into our relationships. Integrity also means having accountability—friends who will tell us when it’s time to go home, and the wisdom to listen.

Saving our mates is about more than just spiritual salvation; it’s about being there for each other when confidence is low, when dreams have faded, or when life gets hard. It’s about liking each other, not just loving each other, and being willing to fight for the relationship when the storms come. Culture may tell us to leave at the first sign of trouble, but the call of Christ is to persevere, to support, and to reflect His love in our homes.

Ultimately, our homes are the first institution God created, and how we live there is a witness to the world. We are called to lead by example, to pray for and with each other, and to make our relationships a place where Christ is seen and honored.

Key Takeaways

1. Lead by Example in Relationships How we live and love in our homes is the most powerful testimony of our faith. Our actions can either validate or discredit the name of Christ. We are called to be the kind of people whose lives make Christianity attractive, not just in public but especially in private. [08:39]
2. Spoil and Support Your Mate with Discipline and Care Spoiling your mate isn’t about gifts, but about discipline, respect, and mutual care. This means being mindful of how we speak, how we listen, and how we share responsibilities. True support is found in serving one another, not in demanding or expecting more than we give ourselves. [16:58]
3. Practice Integrity and Accountability Integrity in relationships means being consistent, trustworthy, and accountable. Sometimes, we need friends who will tell us when it’s time to go home or help us avoid temptation. Accountability is not weakness, but wisdom, and it protects both our relationships and our witness. [28:08]
4. Fight for Your Relationship, Not Just in Good Times It’s easy to love when things are good, but true commitment is shown in how we handle trials and disappointments. Culture may encourage us to leave at the first sign of trouble, but Christ calls us to persevere, to encourage, and to save each other when life gets hard. [36:31]
5. Make Your Home a Place of Prayer and Christ-like Love The home is the first institution God created, and it should be a place where Christ is honored. Praying together, supporting each other, and making time for one another are essential. Our homes should reflect the love, grace, and perseverance of Christ to a watching world. [29:31]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[01:52] - Reading from Titus 2
[03:12] - Context: Paul’s Challenge to Titus
[05:47] - The Impact of Leadership on Homes
[07:33] - Living as a Christian Example
[09:50] - The Weight of Christian Witness
[11:00] - Faithfulness in Relationships
[12:08] - Culture vs. Christian Commitment
[13:36] - Spoiling Your Mate God’s Way
[16:58] - Rethinking Gender Roles and Service
[19:36] - The Power of Listening and Partnership
[22:42] - Knowing and Choosing Your Partner
[23:29] - Supporting Your Mate with Integrity
[29:31] - The Importance of Prayer in the Home
[31:43] - Saving Each Other in Marriage
[36:31] - Fighting for Your Relationship
[39:54] - Closing Prayer and Blessing

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

Titus 2:1-10 (ESV) — But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. Bondservants are to be submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.

Observation Questions

According to Titus 2, what specific qualities does Paul tell Titus to teach to older men, older women, younger women, and younger men?
In the sermon, what does the pastor say about the impact of leadership on the homes and personal lives of people in the early church? [05:05]
What does the pastor mean when he says, “how you live will either discredit or credit the name of the Christians”? [08:39]
How does the sermon describe “spoiling” your mate, and how is it different from the way culture might define it? [16:58]

Interpretation Questions

Why does Paul emphasize living out faith in the home, not just in public? How does this relate to the idea that “our lives are the clearest testimony to those around us”? [08:39]
The pastor says, “Supporting our mates means leading by example, showing integrity, and being serious about our faith.” What does it look like to lead by example in a relationship, according to the sermon? [23:29]
The sermon talks about the importance of accountability and having friends who will “tell us when it’s time to go home.” Why is accountability described as wisdom and not weakness? [28:08]
The pastor says, “Saving our mates is about more than just spiritual salvation; it’s about being there for each other when confidence is low, when dreams have faded, or when life gets hard.” How does this expand the idea of what it means to “save” someone in a relationship? [31:43]

Application Questions

The sermon says, “How we live and love in our homes is the most powerful testimony of our faith.” Think about your own home life—are there ways your actions at home could better reflect Christ to those around you? What’s one specific change you could make this week? [08:39]
The pastor challenges traditional gender roles, saying, “Be careful with those gender roles because you got to understand that sometimes you got to pitch in.” Are there any household responsibilities or expectations in your home that need to be re-examined or shared differently? [16:58]
The sermon encourages us to “spoil” our mates with discipline, respect, and care, not material things. What is one practical way you can show discipline, respect, or care to your spouse or close friend this week? [16:58]
The pastor says, “If you have to sit in the car for 15 minutes to calm down before you go in the house, sit in it so that you can get your heart and mind right after you get off work.” Have you ever brought outside frustrations into your home? What could you do differently next time to protect your relationships? [26:13]
The sermon talks about the need for accountability—friends who will help us avoid temptation or tell us when it’s time to go home. Do you have someone in your life who holds you accountable? If not, what steps could you take to build that kind of relationship? [28:08]
The pastor says, “It’s about liking each other, not just loving each other, and being willing to fight for the relationship when the storms come.” When was the last time you had to “fight” for a relationship? What did you do, and what would you do differently now? [36:31]
The sermon encourages couples to pray together and make their home a place where Christ is honored. If you are married or in a family, what is one way you could start (or improve) praying together this week? If you are single, how can you make your home a place where Christ is seen and honored? [29:31]

Sermon Clips

People say, we need another letter from Paul. We don't need another letter from Paul. We need the church to just read the letters that were already written and follow them, and the church will already get in order. Come on, because to, you know, whether you like it or not, another Paul ain't coming. Let me say that again. We ain't waiting on another Paul. We ain't waiting on another Peter. We are waiting on Jesus to come back. And dear brothers and sisters, if you ain't ready, you better get ready because we don't know when he's coming, but we do know he's coming. [00:07:16] (30 seconds) #FollowTheWord

How you live will either discredit or credit the name of the Christians. How you live, dear brothers and sisters, will either validate being a Christian or it will discredit it. [00:07:52] (15 seconds) #LiveYourFaith

Wisdom is listening to each other and men not dictating every decision. Come on, you got to listen to each other. It is conversation because when you're married, it is a partnership. How do I know? Because God listens to you sometimes. Because God has given some of you stuff that you didn't need, but you asked for it. He gave it to you anyway and said, hey, you know what? Had you listened to me the first place? [00:20:06] (37 seconds) #TrustTakesTime

Every day you should be praying for your family. There is a lot of stuff going on. And you got to be covering your mates and your kids in prayer as much as possible. Because there is a lot going on. And to my couples, listen, the thing that the enemy tries to do most than anything is to destroy marriages. [00:29:54] (27 seconds) #DateNightMatters

I tell every couple, every couple that I count, every couple, every couple, whether I counsel or stand on this pulpit. Listen, y'all got to maintain date night. Because if you're not maintaining it, somebody is looking for the opportunity to come swoop in and start dating your mate. That at-work boyfriend or girlfriend is just waiting. [00:31:13] (20 seconds) #LoveEvenWhenMad

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