Choosing True Love: Lessons from Samson and Delilah

 

Summary

In reflecting on the story of Samson and Delilah, we are reminded of the profound lessons about love, strength, and vulnerability. Samson, despite his immense physical strength, was ultimately undone by his inability to control his emotions and discern true love from manipulation. Delilah's quest was not to discover the secret of Samson's strength but rather his weakness, illustrating how love that seeks to exploit is not love at all. This narrative serves as a cautionary tale, urging us to recognize that true love is not merely a feeling but a deliberate choice. Just as faith is a choice, so is love. It requires commitment, especially when the initial passion fades and challenges arise.

Our feelings, particularly fear, can be significant obstacles in our pursuit of love. Fear of vulnerability, of being hurt, or of opening ourselves up again can bind us, preventing us from experiencing the fullness of love. Yet, God's love, unlike the world's, is perfect and casts out fear. It is a love that redeems, refines, and restores. The story of the teacher and the stolen watch beautifully illustrates this kind of love—one that protects dignity and fosters transformation without condemnation.

Moreover, our focus can also hinder our ability to love fully. When love is self-serving, as seen in the relationship between Samson and Delilah, it leads to destruction. True love, as exemplified by Christ's sacrifice, is selfless and unconditional. It demands something from us but offers everything in return. Our focus should be on this kind of love, one that mirrors God's eternal perspective.

Finally, the story of Billy Graham on the golf course reminds us of the power of living a life so focused on God that it naturally reflects His light to others. Even without words, our lives can testify to the love and presence of God. To love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength remains the greatest commandment, calling us to a life of profound devotion and reflection of His love.

Key Takeaways:

1. True Love vs. Manipulation: Delilah's actions highlight the difference between love and manipulation. True love does not seek to exploit weaknesses but rather supports and uplifts. We must discern and choose love that is genuine and selfless. [12:38]

2. Love as a Choice: Love, like faith, is a choice that requires commitment beyond feelings. When passion wanes and challenges arise, choosing to love is when love matures and deepens. [14:53]

3. Overcoming Fear with Perfect Love: Fear can bind us and prevent us from experiencing true love. God's perfect love casts out fear, offering redemption and restoration without condemnation. [19:49]

4. Selfless Love's Cost and Reward: True love is selfless and unconditional, as demonstrated by Christ. It demands sacrifice but offers everything in return, contrasting with self-serving love that leads to destruction. [21:06]

5. Reflecting God's Love in Everyday Life: A life focused on God naturally reflects His love to others, even without words. Our actions and presence can testify to God's love, as seen in the story of Billy Graham. [24:11]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [12:38] - The Secret of Weakness
- [14:53] - Love as a Choice
- [15:30] - Love and Faith Connection
- [15:52] - Confronting Fear
- [16:41] - The Nature of Love
- [19:49] - Perfect Love Casts Out Fear
- [21:06] - Selfless Love's Cost
- [23:16] - Focus and Love
- [24:11] - Reflecting God's Love
- [25:27] - The Greatest Commandment

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
1. Judges 16:4-22 - The story of Samson and Delilah.
2. 1 John 4:18 - "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
3. Luke 11:21-22 - "When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are safe. But when someone stronger attacks and overpowers him, he takes away the armor in which the man trusted and divides up his plunder."

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Observation Questions:

1. What was Delilah's true intention in her relationship with Samson, and how did it differ from genuine love? [12:38]

2. How does the story of the teacher and the stolen watch illustrate the concept of love that protects dignity and fosters transformation? [19:49]

3. In what ways did Samson's inability to control his emotions contribute to his downfall? [14:53]

4. How does the story of Billy Graham on the golf course demonstrate the power of living a life focused on God? [24:11]

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Interpretation Questions:

1. How does the narrative of Samson and Delilah serve as a cautionary tale about the dangers of manipulation in relationships? [12:38]

2. What does it mean to choose love as a deliberate decision, especially when initial feelings fade? How does this relate to the concept of faith? [15:30]

3. How can fear act as a barrier to experiencing true love, and how does God's perfect love address this fear? [16:41]

4. What are the implications of living a life that naturally reflects God's love to others, as seen in the story of Billy Graham? [24:11]

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on a time when you may have confused manipulation for love. How can you discern genuine love in your relationships moving forward? [12:38]

2. When faced with challenges in your relationships, how can you practice choosing love as a commitment rather than relying solely on feelings? [15:30]

3. Identify a fear that might be preventing you from fully experiencing love. How can you invite God's perfect love to cast out that fear? [16:41]

4. Consider a relationship where you have been self-serving. What steps can you take to shift towards a more selfless and unconditional love? [21:06]

5. How can you focus more on God in your daily life so that your actions naturally reflect His love to others, even without words? [24:11]

6. Think of a situation where you felt bound by fear or past hurt. How can you allow God's love to redeem and restore you in that area? [19:49]

7. What practical steps can you take this week to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, as the greatest commandment calls us to do? [25:27]

Devotional

Day 1: Discernment in Love
True love is characterized by its selflessness and support, contrasting sharply with manipulation, which seeks to exploit vulnerabilities. In the story of Samson and Delilah, Delilah's actions serve as a stark reminder of the dangers of confusing manipulation with genuine love. Samson's downfall was not due to his lack of strength but his inability to discern Delilah's true intentions. This narrative urges us to be vigilant in our relationships, ensuring that our love is genuine and not self-serving. True love uplifts and supports, seeking the best for the other person without hidden agendas. [12:38]

"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." (Romans 12:9-10, ESV)

Reflection: Think of a relationship where you may have confused manipulation with love. How can you begin to foster genuine love in that relationship today?


Day 2: Commitment Beyond Feelings
Love, much like faith, is a deliberate choice that extends beyond fleeting emotions. When the initial passion fades and challenges arise, the decision to continue loving is where true love matures. This commitment requires us to actively choose love, even when it is difficult. It is in these moments that love deepens and becomes more profound. By choosing to love, we align ourselves with a love that is steadfast and enduring, mirroring the commitment that faith demands. [14:53]

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8, ESV)

Reflection: Identify a situation where your feelings have waned. How can you choose to act in love despite your emotions today?


Day 3: Overcoming Fear with God's Love
Fear can be a significant barrier to experiencing true love. It binds us, preventing us from opening ourselves up to others and to God. However, God's perfect love casts out fear, offering redemption and restoration without condemnation. This divine love invites us to embrace vulnerability, knowing that we are safe in God's hands. By trusting in God's love, we can overcome the fears that hold us back and experience the fullness of love that He offers. [19:49]

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." (1 John 4:18, ESV)

Reflection: What fear is currently holding you back from experiencing God's love fully? How can you invite God into that fear today?


Day 4: The Cost and Reward of Selfless Love
True love is selfless and unconditional, demanding sacrifice but offering everything in return. This is exemplified by Christ's sacrifice, which contrasts with self-serving love that leads to destruction. Selfless love requires us to put others before ourselves, seeking their well-being above our own. In doing so, we reflect the love of Christ, which is transformative and life-giving. This kind of love may cost us, but the rewards are immeasurable, leading to deeper relationships and a more profound connection with God. [21:06]

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13, ESV)

Reflection: Consider a recent opportunity where you could have shown selfless love. What held you back, and how can you choose selflessness in a similar situation today?


Day 5: Reflecting God's Love in Daily Life
A life focused on God naturally reflects His love to others, even without words. Our actions and presence can testify to God's love, as seen in the story of Billy Graham. By living a life devoted to God, we become beacons of His love, drawing others to Him through our example. This reflection of God's love is not just about grand gestures but is evident in our everyday interactions and choices. To love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength is the greatest commandment, calling us to a life of profound devotion and reflection of His love. [24:11]

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16, ESV)

Reflection: How can your actions today reflect God's love to someone who may not know Him? What specific step can you take to be a light in their life?

Quotes

"we don't want to be like them because they are they are some of the the best of the worst if you know what i'm saying like their their story their story is one of the best it is one of the the greatest anti -examples of all time i mean even even here the delilah's unsubtle uh uh maneuvering because i am convinced that here delilah isn't actually trying to figure out the secret of samson's strength no no right here i think delilah is actually trying to figure out the secret of his weakness how he could be bound how he could be tied how he would become like anybody else and y 'all that isn't love that looks that tries to manipulate our weakness that's not love that's actually the very opposite of love that wants to plunder us um jesus would say as much jesus in the gospel of luke would say that no one can enter" [00:10:48]

"Three things that get in the way, three things that, bind us up in our pursuit of love, in our pursuit of love as spouses and as singles and as families and as friends and as followers of Jesus too. Because if we don't get this right, if we don't get this love right, then all the other loves in our lives will suffer. Three things for us this morning." [00:12:43]

"this what gets in the way of love number one our feelings and that's probably kind of strange to hear it's strange to say but oftentimes one of the biggest obstacles one of these strongest foes that we have to face in our pursuit of love it's it's our feelings and we we see it right here that is samson's story because here he is he is this big macho passionate emotional sort of fellow he is the strongest person to have ever lived but even samson wasn't strong enough to control his emotions samson wasn't strong enough to control his own feelings he gets aggravated he's irritating he's vexed to the point that he wears down and he tells all you see it's this it's this cautionary tale it's a warning it's meant to say yeah just because we might be gifted just because we might be physically strong and just because we might be mentally strong it does not mean it is no guarantee that we are emotionally strong and woe be unto us if we don't understand that difference because here's the thing about love love" [00:13:11]

"Real love, just like real and true faith. Love is not a feeling. It's a choice. Love, like faith, is a choice. Love, like faith, is a decision. Because hard times are going to come. There are going to be problems. There are going to be challenges. There's going to be a chill. All that passion, all that burning passion that we once enjoyed. There's going to be seasons. There are going to be times when it's going to cool down." [00:14:30]

"And maybe we won't feel it like we once did. And there are going to be times whenever we are tempted to walk away. And that's when we have to dig deep. That's when we have to choose. I choose to love. I choose to stick. I choose to stay. Because, y 'all, that's whenever love, grows up. That's whenever it stops being just like the high of hormones. That's whenever love becomes love." [00:15:12]

"Maybe one of the scariest, one of the hardest, maybe one of the heaviest feelings of them all, maybe the most binding feeling that we have to confront is fear. A couple of years ago, it was actually back in the mid -90s, there was this play, it was this kind of rom -com musical that debuted up in New York City. And it was called, I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change." [00:16:02]

"the fear I can understand why we may just be a little hesitant to open ourselves up again I get it I get why we might be scared to trust again or to be vulnerable again or to commit again or go deeper again especially especially if we think that God's love is like the world's but God's love is perfect God's love is the perfect reflection of that first Corinthians 13 sort of love that pastor John was talking about a love that keeps no record of wrongs and thank God for that because like the the psalmist said if you Lord kept a list of sins who could stand but with you there's forgiveness so that's the thing about love that's the thing about real love that's the thing about perfect love perfect love casts out fear it's kind of like it's kind of like the story that good buddy of mine sent this past week story says a an old man met a young man who asked him do you remember me unfortunately no son I don't remember you the old man replied I was one of your students the young man said oh how nice" [00:17:07]

"the older man said and tell me now what do you do I'm a teacher a teacher how wonderful like me yes like you in fact I became a teacher because you inspired me to be like you and the old man then curious asked the young man at what point he decided to become a teacher and the young man told him his tale he said one day a friend of mine also a student came in with a nice new watch and I decided I wanted it so I stole it I took it out of his pocket but shortly after my friend noticed that his watch was missing and complained to our teacher he complained to you then you addressed the class saying the students watch was stolen during classes today whoever stole it please return it but I didn't give it back because I didn't want to so you closed the door and you told us to stand up and form a circle you you were going to search our pockets one by one until the watch was finished but you told us to close our eyes because you would only look for the watch if we all had our eyes closed and so we did as instructed and you went from pocket to pocket and when you went through my pocket you found the watch and you took it but you kept searching everyone else's pockets and when you were done you said open your eyes the watch has" [00:18:26]

"being found, but you didn't tell on me. You never mentioned the episode. You never shared who stole the watch. That day you saved my dignity forever. It was the most shameful day of my life, but it changed me. You never said anything, nor did you even scold me or take me aside to moralize. Do you remember this episode, professor?" [00:19:45]

"Friends, when it comes to God, there's no need to fear. Because even though he doesn't close his eyes, he's opened his heart. He's opened his heart with a love that wants to redeem us and wants to refine us and wants to revive us and wants to restore us. Don't let love be bound by fear. And then finally, what gets in the way of love? Our focus." [00:20:24]

"a couple of weeks ago I was I was reading in time used to be time magazine I don't know what it is now but I was reading in time and and there was this article that I ran across and the title of the article was love doesn't have to be unconditional and I read it with with great interest and y 'all it was just close your ears students it was just malarkey it's pretty strong word in church don't you think it was just drivel and self -justifying rot because y 'all love that is love true love it's gonna cost us something it's gotta cost us something but in return it offers us everything it's it's that love that we see in Christ it's that love that we see on Calvary and there was there was nothing self -serving about that it was not a selfish. It was selfless and unconditional and focused on us. And there wasn't an ounce of that selfless sort of love in Samson and Delilah here." [00:21:06]

"Could it be possibly that Billy Graham so loved the Lord, that his focus was so on Jesus, that it affected every area of his everyday life, even out on the golf course? And I don't have to tell you, it's hard to shine the light of Jesus on a golf course. But to love God like that, to love God with all of our heart, and with all of our soul, and with all of our mind, and yes, with all of our strength, to love God like that, this is the first and greatest commandment still," [00:25:08]

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Transcript
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