Choosing the Path of Forgiveness: A Spiritual Journey

Devotional

Day 1: Forgiveness Is a Command, Not an Option

Jesus teaches that offenses and opportunities to be hurt are inevitable in life, but He commands His followers to forgive those who repent, even if it happens repeatedly in a single day. This call to forgiveness is so challenging that the disciples immediately ask Jesus to increase their faith, recognizing the difficulty of truly letting go of hurt. The reality is that forgiveness is not a suggestion or a feeling, but a command that requires faith and obedience, even when it feels impossible. [01:25]

Luke 17:1-5 (ESV)
And he said to his disciples, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin. Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”

Reflection: Who is someone you struggle to forgive, and what would it look like to ask God for the faith to begin forgiving them today, even if it feels impossible?

Day 2: Offense Is the Bait—Don’t Take It

Jesus warns that stumbling blocks and offenses are guaranteed in life, using the Greek word "skandalon," which refers to the bait in a trap. Just as a mouse is ensnared by the bait, so too can we be trapped by offense if we take the bait of bitterness and resentment. The good news is that while offense is inevitable, taking the bait is not—you have the choice to refuse it and walk in freedom. [04:38]

Luke 17:1 (ESV)
And he said to his disciples, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come!"

Reflection: What is one recent situation where you felt the “bait” of offense—how can you choose today not to take it and instead respond with grace?

Day 3: Forgiveness Is Not Reconciliation

Forgiveness does not mean pretending the hurt never happened, nor does it require reconciliation or restoring a relationship with someone who is unsafe or unrepentant. Forgiveness is about releasing the debt you feel is owed to you, letting go of the expectation that the other person will pay for what they did, and entrusting the matter to God. This act is not about the other person, but about your own relationship with God and your freedom from the trap of bitterness. [08:20]

Matthew 6:12,14-15 (ESV)
“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Reflection: Is there someone you need to forgive without seeking reconciliation or an apology—can you release the expectation of repayment and entrust them to God today?

Day 4: Unforgiveness Harms You More Than Anyone Else

Holding onto unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer; in reality, it only harms you. Studies have shown that bitterness negatively affects your health, raising blood pressure and weakening your immune system, but more importantly, it blocks the flow of God’s forgiveness and grace in your life. Choosing to forgive is not a one-time event but a continual path that brings healing and freedom to your own soul. [07:13]

Hebrews 12:15 (ESV)
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.

Reflection: What is one way unforgiveness has affected your well-being or focus—how can you take a step today toward releasing it for your own healing?

Day 5: Love and Pray for Those Who Hurt You

Jesus calls us to love our neighbors as ourselves, which means desiring for them the same grace and growth we desire for ourselves, even when they have hurt us. Praying for those who have wronged us is not about denying the pain, but about asking God to heal and transform them, so that they too may know His grace and no longer hurt others. This kind of love and prayer is a practical way to walk the path of forgiveness and to move beyond the trap of offense. [19:34]

Matthew 5:43-44 (ESV)
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

Reflection: Who is someone who has hurt you that you can pray for today—can you ask God to help them know Him better and to bring healing to their life?

Sermon Summary

Forgiveness is one of the most challenging commands Jesus gives. In Luke 17, Jesus makes it clear that offenses and opportunities to be hurt are inevitable in this life. He uses the Greek word “skandalon,” which refers to the bait in a trap, to describe these offenses. The reality is that we will all encounter situations where we are tempted to take the bait of offense, but we are not required to let it ensnare us. The call to forgive is not about excusing the wrong or reconciling with those who have hurt us, but about releasing the debt they owe us and refusing to let bitterness take root in our hearts.

Forgiveness is not a one-time event or a feeling, but a path we choose to walk, sometimes daily. It is not about the other person, nor does it require their participation or even their awareness. Forgiveness is about our relationship with God and our own spiritual health. When we hold onto unforgiveness, it becomes a poison that harms us far more than the person who hurt us. Even secular studies confirm that bitterness is one of the most damaging things for our physical and emotional well-being.

Jesus teaches us to love our neighbors as ourselves, not because they are perfect, but because we recognize our own imperfections and still desire good for ourselves. In the same way, forgiveness means letting go of the expectation that others will pay for what they’ve done and instead praying for their healing and growth. This does not mean pretending the hurt didn’t happen or that it doesn’t still affect us. Rather, it means asking God to help us see those who hurt us as people who are themselves wounded, and to pray for their transformation.

Ultimately, forgiveness is about keeping the flow of God’s grace open in our lives. As we have been forgiven much, we are called to forgive much. This is not easy, and like the disciples, we may need to ask God to increase our faith. But as we choose the path of forgiveness, we find freedom for ourselves and become channels of God’s mercy to others.

Key Takeaways

1. Offenses Are Inevitable, But Taking the Bait Is Not Jesus promises that stumbling blocks and opportunities for offense will come to everyone. The Greek word “skandalon” refers to the bait in a trap, reminding us that while we cannot avoid being hurt, we do not have to let offense ensnare us. The real test is not whether we encounter offense, but whether we allow it to take hold of our hearts. [03:08]
2. Forgiveness Is Not Reconciliation or Excusing the Wrong Forgiveness does not mean pretending the hurt didn’t happen, excusing the offender, or restoring the relationship. It is a decision to release the debt and stop expecting repayment, even if the other person never acknowledges the wrong. This distinction frees us from the burden of waiting for others to change before we can be free ourselves. [08:20]
3. Unforgiveness Is a Poison That Harms Us Most Holding onto bitterness and unforgiveness damages us spiritually, emotionally, and even physically. Studies show that bitterness is more harmful to our health than many other negative habits. When we refuse to forgive, we block the flow of God’s grace in our lives and allow the offense to become our focus, robbing us of peace and joy. [07:13]
4. Forgiveness Is a Path, Not a One-Time Event Choosing to forgive is not a single act but an ongoing journey. Old wounds may resurface, and we must continually remind ourselves to walk the path of forgiveness. This process requires intentionality and prayer, asking God to help us release the offense each time it tries to take root again. [23:04]
5. Loving Others as Ourselves Means Praying for Their Healing Jesus calls us to love our neighbors as ourselves, not because they are perfect, but because we recognize our own need for grace. True forgiveness involves praying for those who have hurt us—not for their punishment, but for their healing and transformation. In doing so, we reflect the heart of Christ and keep ourselves open to the ongoing work of God’s grace. [18:55]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:33] - Reading Luke 17:1-5
[01:25] - The Challenge of Forgiveness
[02:00] - Offenses Are Inevitable
[03:08] - The Meaning of “Skandalon”
[04:11] - The Bait of Offense
[05:15] - The Seriousness of Unforgiveness
[06:28] - The Health Cost of Bitterness
[07:53] - Misunderstandings About Forgiveness
[08:20] - Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation
[09:13] - Forgiveness and Our Relationship with God
[11:22] - The Focus of Unforgiveness
[13:02] - Practical Steps to Forgive
[15:08] - What Forgiveness Really Means
[16:23] - Loving Others as Ourselves
[18:55] - Praying for Those Who Hurt Us
[21:05] - Understanding Hurt People
[23:04] - Forgiveness as a Lifelong Path
[24:50] - Walking in Freedom
[25:19] - The Universal Struggle with Offense
[27:17] - Responding to God’s Call to Forgive
[30:24] - Closing Prayer

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

Luke 17:1-5 (ESV) — And he said to his disciples, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin. Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”

Observation Questions

In Luke 17:1-2, what does Jesus say about the inevitability of offenses and temptations?
According to the sermon, what does the Greek word “skandalon” mean, and how does it relate to the idea of offense? [[03:08]]
What is the disciples’ immediate response to Jesus’ command to forgive repeatedly in Luke 17:5?
How does the sermon describe the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation? [[08:20]]

Interpretation Questions

Why do you think Jesus uses such strong language about causing others to stumble or be offended? What does this reveal about the seriousness of our actions toward others?
The disciples ask Jesus to “increase our faith” after hearing about forgiveness. What does this suggest about the difficulty of forgiveness and our need for God’s help? [[01:25]]
The sermon says that forgiveness is not about excusing the wrong or pretending it didn’t happen. Why is this distinction important for understanding biblical forgiveness? [[08:20]]
The pastor mentions that holding onto unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. What does this metaphor help us understand about the effects of unforgiveness? [[24:14]]

Application Questions

The sermon says that offenses are inevitable, but taking the bait of offense is a choice. Can you think of a recent situation where you were tempted to take offense? How did you respond, and what could you do differently next time? [[03:08]]
Forgiveness is described as releasing the debt someone owes you, not waiting for them to apologize or change. Is there someone in your life you are still expecting to “pay” for what they did? What would it look like to release that expectation? [[15:08]]
The pastor shared that forgiveness is a path, not a one-time event. Are there old wounds or memories that keep resurfacing for you? How can you remind yourself to keep walking the path of forgiveness when those memories come up? [[23:04]]
The sermon encourages us to pray for those who have hurt us, not for their punishment but for their healing and transformation. Is there someone you struggle to pray for in this way? What specific prayer could you start with for them? [[18:55]]
The message says that unforgiveness harms us more than the person who hurt us, even affecting our physical and emotional health. Have you noticed any ways that holding onto bitterness has affected your well-being? What steps could you take this week to let go? [[07:13]]
Jesus calls us to love our neighbors as ourselves, recognizing our own imperfections. How does remembering your own need for grace help you extend forgiveness to others? [[16:23]]
The disciples asked Jesus to increase their faith in response to the challenge of forgiveness. What would it look like for you to ask God for more faith in this area? Is there a specific situation where you need to pray this prayer? [[01:25]]

Sermon Clips

When Jesus talks about forgiving people, we often separate those into two conversations. Jesus says, you need to forgive, and if they sin against you seven times a day, you got to forgive them seven times a day. And then we act like the conversation stop, stopped. And we start over with a new conversation of the disciples saying, lord, increase our faith. And we don't realize that's in response. That's how hard forgiveness is, isn't it? That when Jesus tells his disciples to forgive, all of them said, ugh, give me more faith to do that, Lord, because that's tough. [00:01:04]

It is impossible that you will live this life without getting the opportunity to be offended. The Word in your verse may say, stumbling block. It's impossible that you're not going to encounter a stumbling block. Good news is you don't actually have to stumble over it. But we do, don't we? We do that a lot. [00:02:13]

He is guaranteeing that you're going to have this opportunity to stumble. I had somebody show me this years ago, and it changed the way I read this scripture. When you look at that word, what is bound to come? If it is impossible that these things will not come, if it is guaranteed that you're going to have this in your life, what are these offenses or stumbling blocks that Jesus is referring to? When you look in the Greek, there's a word used there for that is scandalon. The scandalon. It is impossible that there would be no skandalons in your life. You are guaranteed to have skandalons in your life. Reasons to be offended. [00:02:52]

Skandalon refers to the bait that's put in a trap. Hmm. The bait. The thing that entices you in to picking up that thing. What happens if you take the bait in a trap? You're stuck in it, right? That's what Jesus is saying must come. That it is guaranteed that you're going to have opportunities to be offended at other people. But the good news is, you don't have to take the bait. [00:04:11]

What does Jesus say happens when we refuse to forgive someone? He says, if you don't forgive those that have wronged you, my Father in heaven cannot forgive you. That sounds harsh, doesn't it? Yet every one of you asked God to treat you that way. This morning, you remember when you did that in the Lord's Prayer, you said, father, forgive me of my sins, but do so to the same level that I forgive others that have sinned against me. [00:05:15]

Because forgiveness is something that flows through us. And when you stop the flow, when you dam up the flow and don't let it out of you, how can you receive more? How can more pass through you? We've got to forgive. [00:06:06]

Bitterness is worse for your health than anything else. It raises your blood pressure. It weakens your immune system. Just physiologically, just looking from a purely humanistic point of view, we recognize how harmful unforgiveness is, but we then want to withhold forgiveness so often. [00:07:09]

I think the reason we do that as Christians, knowing that we should forgive is not because we don't want to forgive, but because we misunderstand what forgiveness is. And it seems impossible. When we put a label on forgiveness that is not what God has put on it, then it seems impossible and we can't do it. [00:07:34]

Forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation. It doesn't mean that the person didn't hurt you. It doesn't mean that what they did wasn't wrong. It doesn't mean that you now have repaired your relationship with that person. They may not be a safe person for you to be around. Forgiveness is not about them. It's not about your relationship with another person. Forgiveness is about Your relationship with God. [00:08:31]

Me learning to forgive them has nothing to do with sin. It's not going to affect them. It's not going to affect their lives. It's going to affect me. Right? And why does God demand that we forgive others? There's two reasons for that. One, if you notice, our whole relationship with Jesus Christ is one built on forgiveness. That's pretty important. [00:09:52]

You've been set free so that you can share that freedom with other people, not so you can put other people in bondage. And so it's very important with our relationship with God that we understand that it's based on forgiveness. And so God expects us to act accordingly and give forgiveness to others. [00:10:48]

The more you hold on to unforgiveness, the more it becomes your focal point. You ever had a boo boo? Anybody in here ever had a splinter? I used to work building houses for a couple summers, and I got a splinter and everything I own. I got splinters all the time. And we had a rule about splinters at work. If you got a splinter, the boss will give you an ink pen and you are to draw a circle around it and deal with it on your own time. Don't sit there trying to pick it out while you're working. We got work to do. You ever had a splinter that stays for a day or so and you can't get it out? It's the tiniest little sliver that when you get it out, you can't even see it. Sometimes I've had a piece of broken glass I get out of my foot or something. I'm holding it up to the light. I can feel it in my hands, but I can't even see it. It's that tiny. And my eyes are old, but it's that tiny. It's that tiny little thing. But somehow life got to a place where I couldn't see or think about anything else in this world other than that splinter. Ever had a boo boo like that? It's not a real big deal, but the longer it stays, the more your focus just sets upon it. That's the way Unforgiveness is. It has a way of drawing our focus into it. [00:11:29]

You don't need to talk to the other person for it to be forgiveness. You don't have to call them and tell them that you forgave them. I strongly encourage that in situations where it would be helpful. That's not most situations. Most situations it's not helpful. All you're going to do is stir up a hornet's nest because they didn't think they needed forgiven in the first place. And they're going to tell you that might not be safe to be around the person. And forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation. You don't ever have to have a relationship with them again. [00:13:17]

All it means when you forgive someone is it doesn't mean you like them. It doesn't mean that you want to be Rosie best friends with them. It doesn't mean that you just want to go on a weekend trip with them and sit and talk all night with them. It doesn't mean that you ever want to see them again. It simply means you don't expect them to pay. That you're not expecting an apology one day, that you're not expecting them to own it. You're not expecting them to somehow change their mind about things and and come to you and apologize. You're not expecting anything from them. That's the first step. [00:15:00]

The way you love yourself is like this. You recognize all the evil that's within you. You recognize your bad habits and all of that. But still, regardless of all of that, you want better for yourself tomorrow than you had today. You want yourself to be in a better position tomorrow. Hopefully that means that you want to know Jesus better tomorrow, that you want to grow in the grace of God, beginning and each and every day to continue to know God better. [00:17:56]

So when Jesus says to pray for your enemies, how do you pray for someone? Especially if they're actively harming you, if it's still going on, whatever it might be. The way I've learned to pray for my enemies is to pray, Lord. Help them to know you better. Help to root out everything in them that caused them to behave this way so that they might be a shining trophy of your grace, and they might lead other people to know you and no one will ever have to experience what I experienced at their hands. Because you touched their lives. [00:18:59]

When people have hurt me, I can normally see that it comes from a place of hurt in themselves. You've heard the expression before, probably hurt people hurt people, right? So we taught our kids when they were young and we said we were teaching our kids. I think we were trying to teach ourselves to believe it rather than just say it. But we taught our kids that when they would go to school and someone would say hurtful things and mean things to them to recognize that that person is hurting. Something's probably going on with them outside of school, and that's why they're behaving the way they are. They're hurt. [00:20:26]

Every one of you that have been hurt by other people in your life, I promise you those people were hurting. Those people were hurt by someone else and never healed from it. And they let it fester. What God calls us to is to give it to him, to recognize that they're his child. He's directed and leading and guiding them. So let's pray to him to lead and guide them to him, closer to him, to help them to find the freedom to live apart from those actions. [00:22:00]

Also, forgiveness is not a one time thing. I'm not asking you to pray after our service today and say, lord, I forgive this person for this particular thing they did and think that that is somehow a magic pill. I have to remind myself often that I'm choosing forgiveness. Because forgiveness is not an attitude of my mind. It's not even an attitude of my heart. It's a path I'm choosing to walk. [00:22:39]

The closer the person is to you that hurt you, the deeper the wound. I've had strangers do stuff, I forget it pretty quick. But people that I poured into, people that I've given my life for, people that I love dearly and closely, they can cut me deeper down and quicker than anybody. And we tend to choose to hold on to those things in ways that bring us down. [00:23:37]

You've probably heard the saying before, holding unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. I think I read it the other day. Unforgiveness is the punishment that we give ourselves for other people's actions. It's only affecting us. [00:24:04]

We all deal with obstacles that come in our way in the form of bait. It's not just something to fall over a stumbling block to fall over and then lay there and think, oh, I wish I had seen that. But it is bait asking you to take a hold of it. Because when you do, it'll take a hold of you and pull you off of what God has called you to. [00:26:08]

I want to ask you to ask God that when those thoughts come in and encourage you to pick up that bait, that you would ask God to speak into your life and remind you what you've been forgiven, of that you might. He who has been forgiven much might forgive much more. [00:27:04]

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