Choosing Presence Over Performance: The Mary and Martha Lesson

In the home of Martha, Mary, and Lazarus in Bethany, Jesus is welcomed as a guest. Martha, eager to serve and make everything perfect for such an important visitor, becomes distracted and overwhelmed by her many tasks. Meanwhile, Mary chooses to sit at Jesus’ feet, listening intently to His words. This contrast between Martha’s busyness and Mary’s devotion highlights a tension many of us feel: the pull between doing for God and simply being with Him.

It’s easy to sympathize with Martha. When someone important comes to visit, we want everything to be just right. Martha’s actions are not wrong in themselves—serving is good and necessary. But the problem arises when service becomes a distraction, pulling us away from the presence of Jesus. Mary recognizes the unique opportunity before her and chooses to prioritize adoration over activity, listening over labor.

Jesus responds to Martha with tenderness, repeating her name to draw her close and speak intimately. He gently points out that she is worried and troubled about many things, but only one thing is truly needed. Mary has chosen that “good part,” and it will not be taken from her. The lesson is not to devalue service, but to recognize that worship and time at Jesus’ feet must come first. When we neglect this, our work becomes a source of worry and frustration rather than joy and strength.

The invitation is to examine our own lives: Are we so encumbered by our “kitchen duties”—our busyness and responsibilities—that we miss encountering Christ? True strength for service comes from time spent in His presence. When our relationship with God is vibrant and prioritized, our relationships with others and our service flow from a place of love and peace. Begin each day sitting at Jesus’ feet, so you can stand strong in whatever comes.

Key Takeaways

• 1. The tension between serving and sitting is not about choosing one over the other, but about establishing the right order. Service is important, but it must flow from a heart that has first spent time in adoration and listening to Jesus. When we reverse this order, our work becomes burdensome and our hearts anxious. [02:12]
• 2. Jesus’ intimate repetition of Martha’s name reveals His desire for closeness, even when we are distracted or overwhelmed. He invites us to draw near, not with condemnation, but with compassion, reminding us that our worth is not in our performance but in our relationship with Him. [03:50]
• 3. Work without worship leads to worry, and action without adoration leads to aggravation. The spiritual life is sustained not by constant activity, but by regular, intentional time in God’s presence. This is the “one thing needed” that anchors us in every season. [05:01]
• 4. Our ability to stand strong in trials is directly connected to our willingness to sit at Jesus’ feet. Just as Isaiah promises renewed strength for those who wait on the Lord, so too do we find resilience and peace when we prioritize time with Him above all else. [05:17]
• 5. When our relationship with God is neglected, our relationships with others and our service become strained. The vertical relationship with Christ must be the foundation for all horizontal relationships and ministry. Begin each day in quiet fellowship with Him, and everything else will find its proper place. [06:49]
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Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [00:19] - Setting: Bethany and the Home of Martha
• [00:31] - Introducing Mary, Martha, and Lazarus
• [00:47] - Martha’s Distraction and Complaint
• [01:22] - The Pressure of Hosting God
• [01:51] - Martha’s Service vs. Mary’s Adoration
• [02:26] - The Importance of Sitting at Jesus’ Feet
• [03:00] - Martha’s Honest Question to Jesus
• [03:50] - Jesus’ Intimate Response: “Martha, Martha”
• [04:43] - Work Without Worship Produces Worry
• [05:17] - The Power of Waiting on the Lord
• [05:49] - Are You Encumbered or Encountering Christ?
• [06:03] - The Danger of Losing First Love
• [06:17] - The Root of Our Struggles
• [06:49] - Begin Each Day Sitting at His Feet

Bible Reading

Luke 10:38-42 (ESV) — Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

Isaiah 40:31 (ESV) — …but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Observation Questions

1. What are the different actions and attitudes of Mary and Martha when Jesus visits their home? (Luke 10:38-42)
2. How does Jesus respond to Martha’s complaint about Mary? What does He say is “needed”? [01:04]
3. According to the sermon, what does Jesus’ repetition of Martha’s name (“Martha, Martha”) communicate? [03:50]
4. What does Isaiah 40:31 promise to those who “wait for the Lord”?

Interpretation Questions

1. Why do you think Martha became “distracted with much serving”? What might have been going on in her heart? [01:51]
2. What does it mean that Mary “has chosen the good part”? How is this different from Martha’s choice? [05:01]
3. The sermon says, “work without worship produces worry.” In what ways can serving God become a source of anxiety if it’s not rooted in time with Him? [04:43]
4. How does Jesus’ gentle response to Martha show us about His character and how He relates to us when we are overwhelmed? [03:50]

Application Questions

1. When you think about your own life, do you relate more to Martha (busy, distracted, serving) or Mary (sitting, listening, adoring)? Why? [01:51]
2. Are there “kitchen duties” or responsibilities in your life that are keeping you from spending time at Jesus’ feet? What are they? [05:49]
3. The sermon says, “Begin each day sitting at Jesus’ feet, so you can stand strong in whatever comes.” What would it look like for you to practically start your day this way? [06:49]
4. Have you ever felt like your service for God became a burden or source of frustration? What was missing in those times? [04:43]
5. Jesus responds to Martha with compassion, not condemnation. How does this change the way you think about coming to God when you feel overwhelmed or inadequate? [03:50]
6. The sermon mentions that when our relationship with God is neglected, our relationships with others and our service become strained. Can you think of a time when this was true for you? What changed when you reconnected with God? [06:17]
7. What is one specific step you can take this week to prioritize “sitting at Jesus’ feet” before jumping into your daily tasks? [06:49]