Choosing Love: Embracing the Difficult to Love
Summary
### Summary
Good morning, Southwest Church! Today, we delved into the profound and challenging topic of loving those who are difficult to love, guided by 1 Corinthians 13:1-13. This passage, often referred to as the "Love Chapter," is a cornerstone of Christian teaching on love. We began by celebrating National Grandparents Day, acknowledging the vital role grandparents play in passing down the legacy of the gospel.
The core of our discussion centered on the question: "How are you doing at loving the people in your life that you don't like?" This is a crucial question because it challenges us to reflect on our ability to love unconditionally, as God loves us. We explored the idea that love is not merely a feeling but a choice and a commandment. Love, as described by Paul, is patient, kind, and not self-seeking. It does not envy, boast, or rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
We also discussed the metaphor of an egg as an emulsifier, which brings together oil and water, elements that naturally repel each other. Similarly, love acts as an emulsifier in our relationships, bringing unity where there is division. This metaphor underscores the transformative power of love in our lives and communities.
Paul's message in 1 Corinthians 13 emphasizes that without love, all our spiritual gifts and good deeds amount to nothing. Love is the supreme ethic of God, the foundation from which all other virtues emanate. It is a divine power that God Himself helps us to manifest. Therefore, loving those who are difficult to love is not something we can do on our own; it requires God's help.
We concluded by acknowledging that while we may never love perfectly, we are called to make adjustments in our lives to better align with God's definition of love. This involves being patient, kind, and not easily angered, even with those who test our patience the most.
### Key Takeaways
1. Love as a Choice, Not a Feeling: Love is not about feeling good towards someone but making a conscious decision to act in love, even when it’s difficult. This is why Jesus calls love the greatest commandment, not the greatest feeling. Our actions should reflect God's love, which is unconditional and non-transactional. [47:28]
2. The Emulsifying Power of Love: Just as an egg can bring together oil and water, love has the power to unite people who are naturally at odds. This metaphor illustrates that love can create harmony and unity in our relationships, even when it seems impossible. [34:14]
3. The Supreme Ethic of God: Love is the supreme ethic from which all other virtues flow. It is the wellspring of patience, kindness, and all other fruits of the Spirit. Without love, our spiritual gifts and good deeds are meaningless. [44:38]
4. Realignment with God's Definition of Love: Our understanding and expression of love often need realignment with God's definition. 1 Corinthians 13 serves as a guide to recalibrate our love, ensuring it is patient, kind, and not self-seeking. This realignment helps us love even those we find difficult to love. [53:58]
5. Making Adjustments in Love: Loving difficult people requires us to make adjustments in our attitudes and actions. This involves being patient, kind, and not easily angered. These adjustments are not about achieving perfection but about striving to love more like Jesus each day. [01:04:23]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[25:53] - Celebrating Grandparents Day
[27:10] - Grandparent Ministry at Southwest
[27:56] - Introduction to 1 Corinthians 13
[28:53] - Loving Difficult People
[29:42] - Unity and Spiritual Gifts
[30:45] - The Importance of Love
[31:41] - Characteristics of Love
[32:28] - Love Never Ends
[33:11] - Acting Like Eggs
[34:14] - The Emulsifying Power of Love
[36:51] - What is Love?
[38:07] - Defining Love
[39:19] - The Necessity of Love
[40:48] - Love in Action
[47:28] - Love as a Choice
[53:58] - Realignment with God's Love
[01:04:23] - Making Adjustments in Love
[01:08:10] - Closing Prayer and Blessing
Study Guide
### Bible Reading
1 Corinthians 13:1-13 (ESV)
### Observation Questions
1. According to 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, what does Paul say about the value of spiritual gifts and good deeds without love?
2. What are the characteristics of love as described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7?
3. How does Paul describe the permanence of love in 1 Corinthians 13:8-10?
4. What metaphor did Pastor Ricky use to illustrate the unifying power of love, and how does it relate to the characteristics of love described by Paul? [34:14]
### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does Paul emphasize that love is more important than spiritual gifts and good deeds? How does this align with the sermon’s message about the supreme ethic of God? [44:38]
2. How can the metaphor of an egg as an emulsifier help us understand the role of love in difficult relationships? [34:14]
3. What does it mean to realign our understanding of love with God's definition, as discussed in the sermon? How does 1 Corinthians 13 guide this realignment? [53:58]
4. How does the concept of love as a choice rather than a feeling challenge or change your understanding of how to love difficult people? [47:28]
### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you struggled to love someone who was difficult to love. How can the idea of love as a choice help you approach this relationship differently? [47:28]
2. Pastor Ricky mentioned that love is patient and kind, even with those who test our patience the most. Identify one person in your life who tests your patience. What specific actions can you take to show them patience and kindness this week? [56:19]
3. The sermon discussed making adjustments in our attitudes and actions to better align with God's definition of love. What is one specific adjustment you can make in your behavior towards someone you find difficult to love? [01:04:23]
4. How can you apply the metaphor of an egg as an emulsifier in your own relationships to bring unity where there is division? Think of a specific relationship where this could be applied. [34:14]
5. Pastor Ricky emphasized that love is the supreme ethic from which all other virtues flow. How can you cultivate a deeper sense of love in your daily interactions to enhance other virtues like patience, kindness, and self-control? [44:38]
6. Reflect on the idea that people in your life don’t need you to fix them as much as they need you to love them. How can this perspective change the way you interact with someone you are trying to help or change? [59:33]
7. Pastor Ricky mentioned that we should not go to guilt and shame when we fall short of loving perfectly. How can you practice self-compassion and rely on God's grace as you strive to love more like Jesus each day? [01:01:17]
Devotional
Day 1: Love as a Deliberate Choice
Love is not about feeling good towards someone but making a conscious decision to act in love, even when it’s difficult. This is why Jesus calls love the greatest commandment, not the greatest feeling. Our actions should reflect God's love, which is unconditional and non-transactional. Love is a choice that requires intentionality and commitment. It is about deciding to be patient, kind, and forgiving, even when our emotions tell us otherwise. This kind of love mirrors the love God has for us, a love that is steadfast and unwavering despite our flaws and failures.
In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul emphasizes that love is the foundation of all virtues and spiritual gifts. Without love, our actions and achievements are meaningless. This passage challenges us to examine our motives and actions, urging us to choose love in every situation. By making love a deliberate choice, we align ourselves with God's will and reflect His character to those around us. [47:28]
1 John 4:20-21 (ESV): "If anyone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother."
Reflection: Think of a person in your life who is difficult to love. What specific actions can you take today to show them love, even if you don't feel like it?
Day 2: The Emulsifying Power of Love
Just as an egg can bring together oil and water, love has the power to unite people who are naturally at odds. This metaphor illustrates that love can create harmony and unity in our relationships, even when it seems impossible. Love acts as an emulsifier, bridging gaps and healing divisions. It brings together people of different backgrounds, opinions, and personalities, fostering a sense of community and belonging.
In our daily interactions, we often encounter situations where differences and conflicts arise. It is in these moments that the emulsifying power of love becomes crucial. By choosing to love, we can overcome barriers and build stronger, more unified relationships. This kind of love requires humility, patience, and a willingness to see beyond our differences. It is a love that seeks to understand, to forgive, and to reconcile. [34:14]
Colossians 3:14 (ESV): "And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."
Reflection: Reflect on a recent conflict or disagreement you had with someone. How can you apply the emulsifying power of love to bring unity and reconciliation in that situation?
Day 3: The Supreme Ethic of God
Love is the supreme ethic from which all other virtues flow. It is the wellspring of patience, kindness, and all other fruits of the Spirit. Without love, our spiritual gifts and good deeds are meaningless. Love is the highest standard by which we are called to live. It is the essence of God's character and the foundation of His commandments.
In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul underscores the importance of love, stating that even the most impressive spiritual gifts and acts of service are worthless without love. This passage calls us to prioritize love in all that we do, ensuring that our actions are motivated by genuine care and compassion for others. By embracing love as the supreme ethic, we align ourselves with God's heart and purpose, allowing His love to flow through us and impact those around us. [44:38]
1 Peter 4:8 (ESV): "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."
Reflection: Consider your daily actions and interactions. Are they motivated by love? How can you ensure that love is the driving force behind everything you do?
Day 4: Realignment with God's Definition of Love
Our understanding and expression of love often need realignment with God's definition. 1 Corinthians 13 serves as a guide to recalibrate our love, ensuring it is patient, kind, and not self-seeking. This realignment helps us love even those we find difficult to love. God's definition of love is selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. It is a love that goes beyond mere emotions and is demonstrated through actions.
In our human nature, we often fall short of this standard, allowing selfishness, impatience, and resentment to taint our love. However, by continually realigning our understanding of love with God's definition, we can grow in our ability to love others as He loves us. This process requires humility, self-reflection, and a willingness to change. It involves seeking God's guidance and strength to love in ways that reflect His character. [53:58]
Ephesians 4:2-3 (ESV): "With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
Reflection: Reflect on your current understanding of love. How does it align with God's definition in 1 Corinthians 13? What changes can you make to better reflect His love in your relationships?
Day 5: Making Adjustments in Love
Loving difficult people requires us to make adjustments in our attitudes and actions. This involves being patient, kind, and not easily angered. These adjustments are not about achieving perfection but about striving to love more like Jesus each day. Loving difficult people is one of the greatest challenges we face, but it is also one of the most powerful ways to demonstrate God's love.
In our interactions with difficult individuals, we are called to exhibit the characteristics of love outlined in 1 Corinthians 13. This means choosing to be patient when we are frustrated, kind when we are hurt, and forgiving when we are wronged. These adjustments require intentionality and reliance on God's strength. By making these adjustments, we can reflect the love of Christ and be a witness to His transformative power in our lives. [01:04:23]
Romans 12:18 (ESV): "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."
Reflection: Identify a specific adjustment you need to make in your attitude or actions towards a difficult person in your life. How can you rely on God's strength to make this adjustment and show them His love?
Quotes
1. "How are you doing at loving the people in your life that you don't like? I ain't asking you how you're loving the people you love. I'm asking. I'm asking the people, how are you doing at loving the people in your life that you don't like right now? Because honestly, I think that's what our passage is concerning. How do we show up for people who are difficult to get along with?" [28:53] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "Paul says, be careful, church, because if you get unity wrong, you'll never get spiritual gifts right. And so that ends up being what we have to hang our hat on. What does it mean to walk in unity with people, especially when they are hard to love?" [30:45] (18 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "I submit to you that the world is going to become a much better world if you and I learn to start acting like eggs. Let me come around and say this. I love mayonnaise. I love mayonnaise. It is the king of the condiments, okay? I love mayonnaise. Now, you've got to have them all, right? You've got to have ketchup, and you've got to have mustard. If you're having a hot dog, you better have some relish with you. Can I get a barbecue sauce witness out there?" [34:14] (60 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "Paul's saying it don't matter Christian what you do for Jesus. If you don't have Jesus's love, you don't have Jesus and how you're showing up for him. So it's incumbent upon us to discover whatever it is that Paul means when he says, I've gotten nowhere. Look at how he says it further. So no matter what I say, no matter what I believe, no matter what I do, look at this words. He says, I'm bankrupt without love." [40:48] (60 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "Love is not a feeling. Love is a choice. Now, this should be some relief because God is already saying, ain't trying to make you love or trying to make you feel good about somebody who's stupid in your life. Amen. Okay. Email me later. But God is saying it's a decision. That you make. And that's why we got to define it because most people, they think of love, they think of feelings. They think of emotions. They think of butterflies and, you know, and tweebers and oh, you know, they just think, they just go crazy." [47:28] (32 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
6. "Love means, go to the next slide, fellas, that people in your life don't need you to fix them nearly as much as they need you to love them. Everyone look at this way. I can hear your little spirit. I can hear you. Rick, if you knew this idiot in my life that I got to deal with, if you knew how jacked up they were, you don't even understand what they need. This joker ain't got the sense. God gave dirt. And right now, you're canceling the message because of the dysfunction of that person in your life." [59:33] (44 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
7. "So how do we love from here? First things first. Everyone look at this way. Don't go to guilt and shame. That's the first thing you do. Don't go to guilt and shame. Because when you read 1 Corinthians 13, guilt and shame comes, right? No one in here is looking at 1 Corinthians 13 and saying, yep, got that one. Oh, perfect. No one's sitting here checking every box. There's a line here that all of us are like, but don't hang your head down." [01:01:17] (31 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
8. "So for the people in your life you don't like, what are the adjustments that God is calling you to make? So you've been entrusted with a difficult to like boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe God is saying, will you make some adjustments in that for me? So when you're in a marriage and the other one's acting like a knucklehead and God's saying, I know, I know, but will you make some adjustments for me? Some of you got a kid that you know good and well and lost their beloved one. In the meantime, will you make some adjustments for me?" [01:06:30] (46 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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