Choosing Joy: Overcoming Offense Through Forgiveness

The joy of the Lord is our strength, and it is this deep, abiding joy that sustains us even in the midst of pain, disappointment, and offense. Life is full of moments where we are tempted to take offense—sometimes intentionally, sometimes without anyone even realizing it. The reality is, offense is a trap set by the enemy, designed to wound us and hinder our walk with God. It is subtle, like carbon monoxide—colorless, tasteless, and odorless—yet it can be spiritually fatal if left unchecked. Even the greatest men and women of God, like John the Baptist, have found themselves in places of discouragement and offense, questioning God’s plan when circumstances seem overwhelming.

We must recognize that offense is inevitable. Jesus Himself said that it is impossible for offenses not to come. The church is not a fantasy island where everyone is perfect and nothing ever goes wrong. We are called to be soldiers in the army of God, prepared to endure hardship and misunderstanding. Our expectations must be rooted in the truth that people will fail us, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not, but our response is what matters most.

Being offended is ultimately a choice. We can choose to let the seeds of offense take root, leading to bitterness and spiritual stagnation, or we can choose to reject offense, refusing to let it hinder our relationship with God and others. The enemy knows exactly what bait to use to ensnare us, but we must be vigilant, refusing to take the bait. Forgiveness is not about making the other person right; it is about setting ourselves free from the bondage of offense. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting it to harm our enemy, but when we forgive, we experience the true freedom that Christ offers.

God’s blessing rests on those who choose not to be offended. Our promotion and effectiveness in the kingdom are directly tied to how we handle offense. Like David, who could have been offended by being overlooked, we must keep our hearts pure and focused on God’s purpose, trusting that He will exalt us in due time. Today, let us lay down every offense, every wound, and every grudge at the feet of Jesus, allowing Him to heal and set us free.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. Offense is a Spiritual Trap, Not Just a Human Emotion Offense is more than just hurt feelings; it is a spiritual snare designed by the enemy to wound and hinder believers. Like carbon monoxide, it is often undetected but can be deadly to our spiritual health. Recognizing offense as a spiritual attack helps us to be vigilant and intentional in resisting it, rather than simply reacting emotionally. [53:12]
• 2. Even the Strongest Believers Face Moments of Doubt and Offense John the Baptist, a man of great faith and purpose, found himself in a place of discouragement and offense when his expectations of Jesus were unmet. Our circumstances can cloud our faith and cause us to question what we know to be true. Yet, God’s ability to use us is not diminished by our struggles; His grace is sufficient even in our moments of doubt. [62:35]
• 3. Misguided Expectations Set Us Up for Offense Many are caught off guard by offense because they expect the church or Christian community to be free of conflict and hurt. Jesus made it clear that offenses will come, and our spiritual maturity is measured by how we respond, not by the absence of offense. Adjusting our expectations to align with biblical reality prepares us to endure and overcome rather than be derailed. [68:09]
• 4. Choosing Not to Take the Bait of Offense is a Path to Blessing Being offended is a choice, and refusing to take the bait is an act of spiritual warfare. When we purpose in our hearts not to be offended, we break the cycle of bitterness and open ourselves to God’s blessing. The Holy Spirit empowers us to reject offense and maintain unity and love within the body of Christ. [76:19]
• 5. Forgiveness Sets Us Free, Even if Others Never Apologize Holding onto offense and unforgiveness is self-destructive, like drinking poison and expecting it to harm someone else. Forgiveness does not excuse the wrong or make the offender right, but it liberates us from bondage and allows us to walk in the freedom Christ purchased for us. True freedom is found in letting go and trusting God with our wounds. [84:12]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [28:07] - The Promise of Beulah Land
• [32:26] - Lessons from Ecuador: Blessings and Gratitude
• [33:28] - The Cajon and Worship in Simplicity
• [44:12] - John the Baptist’s Question: Are You the One?
• [48:04] - The Age of Offense: A Cultural and Churchwide Issue
• [51:29] - The Trap of Offense in the Church
• [53:12] - Offense as a Spiritual Snare
• [55:47] - The Origin and Nature of Offense
• [60:42] - Biblical Examples: Even the Great Struggle
• [62:35] - John the Baptist’s Doubt and Discouragement
• [66:29] - How Offense Grows in Difficult Circumstances
• [68:09] - Misguided Expectations and the Reality of Offense
• [73:04] - The Church as God’s Army: Enduring Hardness
• [74:36] - Offense is a Choice: Don’t Take the Bait
• [76:19] - The Blessing of Not Being Offended
• [77:33] - David’s Story: Overlooked but Not Offended
• [83:27] - Letting Go: Forgiveness and Freedom
• [86:21] - Invitation to Prayer and Healing

Bible Reading

Luke 7:19-23 (NIV) — 19 Calling two of them, he sent them to the Lord to ask, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?”
20 When the men came to Jesus, they said, “John the Baptist sent us to you to ask, ‘Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?’”
21 At that very time Jesus cured many who had diseases, sicknesses and evil spirits, and gave sight to many who were blind.
22 So he replied to the messengers, “Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor.
23 Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.”

Luke 17:1 (NIV) — Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come.”

2 Timothy 2:3 (NIV) — Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.

Observation Questions

1. In Luke 7:19-23, what question did John the Baptist send his disciples to ask Jesus, and how did Jesus respond?
2. According to the sermon, what does Jesus say about the reality of offense in Luke 17:1? [01:08:09]
3. What example from the Old Testament did the pastor use to show how someone could have been offended but chose not to be? [01:17:33]
4. How does the sermon describe the nature of offense, using the analogy of carbon monoxide? [53:12]

Interpretation Questions

1. Why might John the Baptist, a man of great faith, have struggled with doubt and offense while in prison? What does this tell us about the experience of even strong believers? [01:02:35]
2. The sermon says that offense is like a spiritual trap or snare. What are the two main purposes of this trap, according to the message? [53:12]
3. How do misguided expectations about church and Christian community set people up for offense? [01:08:09]
4. The pastor said that being offended is a choice. What does it mean to “not take the bait” of offense, and how does this relate to spiritual maturity? [01:15:28]

Application Questions

1. The sermon compared offense to carbon monoxide—something that can go undetected but is deadly. Can you think of a time when you were offended and didn’t realize how much it was affecting your heart or actions? How did you become aware of it? [53:12]
2. John the Baptist doubted Jesus when his expectations weren’t met. Have you ever felt disappointed with God or others in the church because things didn’t go as you hoped? How did you respond, and what helped you move forward? [01:02:35]
3. The pastor said, “The church is not a fantasy island where everyone is perfect and nothing ever goes wrong.” How do your expectations of church or Christian friends line up with this reality? Have you ever been surprised or hurt by conflict in the church? [01:08:09]
4. The message taught that being offended is a choice, and that we can choose to reject offense. What are some practical steps you can take this week to “not take the bait” when someone says or does something hurtful? [01:15:28]
5. Forgiveness was described as “setting ourselves free,” even if the other person never apologizes. Is there someone you need to forgive, even if they haven’t said sorry? What would it look like to let go of that offense? [01:24:12]
6. The story of David being overlooked by his family was used as an example of not letting offense take root. Have you ever felt overlooked or unappreciated? How did you handle it, and what could you do differently next time? [01:17:33]
7. The pastor said that our promotion and effectiveness in God’s kingdom are tied to how we handle offense. Is there an area in your life where holding onto offense might be holding you back from what God wants to do through you? What step can you take to move forward? [01:16:19]