Choosing Freedom: Overcoming Offense and Embracing Joy
Summary
Living without offense is a calling to freedom, not a life sentence in the “rage cage” of hurt, anger, and disappointment. God has not called us to be prisoners of our pain or to let offense dictate our actions and attitudes. While anger is a natural emotion, it must be slowed down and managed with wisdom, so it doesn’t control us or lead us to make impulsive decisions that have lasting consequences. Overlooking offense is not a sign of weakness or naivety; it is a courageous choice to pursue peace and refuse to let others’ actions rob us of our joy and purpose.
Offense is a trap, a “scandalon”—a bait set by the enemy to keep us stuck, rehearsing our hurts and justifying our misery. The longer we dwell in offense, the more we lose out on the life God intends for us. Hurt is a thief, robbing us of moments, relationships, and opportunities to participate in the goodness around us. The enemy’s agenda is to steal, kill, and destroy, but Christ came to give us abundant life. We must refuse to let anyone or anything have that much power over us.
To break free from the cage of offense, three spiritual disciplines are essential: look ahead, look up, and look around. Looking ahead means recognizing that our present troubles are temporary and that God is using even our pain as preparation for greater things. Focusing on God’s promises rather than our problems shifts our perspective and produces hope. Looking up reminds us that our help comes from the Lord, who sends strength and even angels to protect and guide us, even when we’re unaware. God’s presence is with us in every circumstance, and He is actively working on our behalf. Looking around cultivates gratitude for what we still have and who is still with us. Like Naomi, we can become so blinded by loss that we miss the blessings and loyal people God has placed in our lives. Gratitude breaks the power of offense and opens our eyes to God’s faithfulness.
Freedom from offense is possible when we choose to focus on God’s truth, trust His process, and practice gratitude. This is how we reclaim our lives, relationships, and joy, refusing to let the enemy’s trap define our story.
Key Takeaways
- Anger is not something we can eliminate, but it must be managed with wisdom and self-control. When anger is in control, we are out of control, and our decisions become impulsive and destructive. Slowing down anger is a spiritual discipline that protects us from making choices we’ll regret and keeps us aligned with God’s will. [02:22]
- Overlooking offense is an act of strength, not weakness. It is a conscious decision to choose peace over chaos, refusing to let others’ actions dictate our emotional state. True courage is found in letting go, not in retaliating or holding onto resentment, and this is how we honor God and ourselves. [03:34]
- Offense is a spiritual trap designed to keep us stuck in cycles of hurt and victimhood. The more we rehearse our pain and focus on what others have done, the longer we remain imprisoned by our own bitterness. Freedom comes when we stop justifying our misery and decide that no one is worth losing our life and joy over. [06:31]
- Looking ahead is a powerful antidote to offense. Our present troubles are temporary, and God is using them to produce something greater in us. When we shift our focus from our pain to God’s promises, we discover that what feels like punishment is often preparation for the next level of our calling. [13:44]
- Gratitude is a weapon against offense and bitterness. When we look around and recognize the blessings, relationships, and provisions God has given us, our perspective shifts from what we’ve lost to what we still have. Practicing gratitude breaks the hold of offense and opens our hearts to God’s ongoing faithfulness. [26:23]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[01:26] - Proverbs 19:11 and Series Recap
[02:22] - Slowing Down Anger
[03:34] - Overlooking Offense: Strength, Not Weakness
[04:24] - The Trap of Expectations and Disappointment
[05:24] - Offense as a Spiritual Trap (“Rage Cage”)
[06:31] - The Language of Offense and Victimhood
[09:55] - Hurt as a Thief of Life
[11:14] - Three Keys to Freedom: Look Ahead
[13:44] - Focusing on God’s Promises, Not Problems
[18:37] - Look Up: Help Comes from the Lord
[21:21] - God’s Protection and Angelic Covering
[24:33] - Look Around: Cultivating Gratitude
[26:23] - Appreciating Blessings and Relationships
[33:00] - Naomi’s Story: Missing the Blessing Beside You
[34:47] - A Call to Gratitude and Next Steps
[38:30] - Invitation to Salvation, Rededication, and Membership
[41:34] - Prayers for New Commitments
[43:07] - Next Steps and Closing
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: Living Without Offense
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### Bible Reading
- Proverbs 19:11
“Good sense and discretion make a man slow to anger, and it is his honor and glory to overlook a transgression or an offense, without seeking revenge and harboring resentment.” [01:26]
- 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
“For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever. So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” [13:44]
- Ruth 1:19-21
(Naomi’s story: “Don’t call me Naomi… call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very sad.”) [33:00]
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### Observation Questions
1. According to Proverbs 19:11, what is considered honorable when someone is wronged or offended? [01:26]
2. In 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, what does Paul say about our present troubles and how should we view them? [13:44]
3. In the story of Naomi (Ruth 1:19-21), what did Naomi fail to see because of her pain? [33:00]
4. The sermon describes offense as a “trap” or “rage cage.” What are some signs that someone is living in that “cage”? [06:31]
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### Interpretation Questions
1. Why might God call it “honor” to overlook an offense, even when it feels like letting someone off the hook? How does this challenge our natural reactions? [03:34]
2. The sermon says, “Whatever you focus on gets bigger.” How does focusing on God’s promises instead of problems change a person’s outlook? [13:44]
3. Naomi was so focused on her losses that she missed the blessing of Ruth’s loyalty. What does this teach about the danger of letting pain define our perspective? [33:00]
4. The pastor said, “Hurt is a thief… it will rob you of life.” In what ways can holding onto offense steal from someone’s relationships and opportunities? [09:55]
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### Application Questions
1. The sermon says, “When anger is in control, you are out of control.” Think of a recent time when anger got the best of you. What could you have done to “slow it down” in that moment? [02:22]
2. Overlooking offense is described as an act of strength, not weakness. Is there a situation right now where you need to choose peace over chaos? What would it look like to let it go? [03:34]
3. The pastor talked about the “language of offense and victimhood.” Are there phrases or thoughts you catch yourself repeating that keep you stuck in hurt? How can you start to change that self-talk? [06:31]
4. “Look ahead” is one of the keys to freedom. Is there a current trouble in your life that feels overwhelming? How might God be using it to prepare you for something greater? [13:44]
5. The sermon challenged us to “look around” and practice gratitude. Name three specific blessings or people in your life that you may have overlooked recently. How can you show appreciation for them this week? [26:23]
6. Naomi missed the blessing right beside her because she was focused on what she lost. Is there someone in your life who has been loyal or supportive, but you haven’t acknowledged them? What’s one way you can express gratitude to them? [33:00]
7. The pastor suggested going on a “complaining fast.” What would it look like for you to catch yourself every time you complain this week and replace it with a word of thanks? [34:47]
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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Ask God to help you let go of offense, to see His blessings around you, and to give you the courage to choose peace and gratitude each day.
Devotional
Day 1: Overlooking Offense Is Strength, Not Weakness
Choosing to overlook offense is not a sign of weakness or naivety, but a courageous act that brings honor and peace. When you let go of resentment and refuse to seek revenge, you are not being passive—you are actively choosing to live above the trap of offense, refusing to let anger control your actions or rob you of your joy. This is a deliberate decision to pursue peace, even when others push your buttons or seem to deserve your anger, because holding onto offense only prolongs your pain and keeps you trapped. [03:34]
Proverbs 19:11 (AMP)
"Good sense and discretion make a man slow to anger, and it is his honor and glory to overlook a transgression or an offense, without seeking revenge and harboring resentment."
Reflection: Who is someone you’ve been holding a grudge against? What would it look like today to honor God by letting go of that offense and choosing peace instead of payback?
Day 2: Hurt Is a Thief—Don’t Let It Rob You of Life
Hurt and offense are like a cage that can trap you, stealing your joy, your purpose, and your participation in life. The enemy uses offense as bait, hoping you’ll stay stuck in anger, disappointment, or sadness, missing out on the blessings and relationships around you. The longer you hold onto hurt, the more of your life you lose, but God has called you to freedom, not to live imprisoned by what others have done. [09:55]
John 10:10 (ESV)
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."
Reflection: Is there a hurt or disappointment that’s been robbing you of joy or keeping you from fully engaging with your family or friends? What step can you take today to reclaim your life from that “thief”?
Day 3: Look Ahead—Your Trouble Is Temporary
When you’re stuck in offense or pain, it’s easy to become a prisoner of the present, but God calls you to look ahead and see that your current troubles are small and temporary compared to the glory He is producing in you. Focusing on your problems only makes them bigger, but shifting your gaze to God’s promises and the future He has for you brings hope and perspective. Your pain is not punishment—it’s preparation for what God is building in you, and this season will one day become your testimony. [15:29]
2 Corinthians 4:17-18 (ESV)
"For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."
Reflection: What is one area of your life where you’ve been focused on the pain of the present? How can you intentionally look ahead and trust that God is using this season to prepare you for something greater?
Day 4: Look Up—Help Is Coming from the Lord
When you feel weighed down by hurt or offense, don’t just look at your circumstances—look up to God, your source of help and strength. Even when you feel alone or overwhelmed, God is present, sending help from heaven, surrounding you with His protection, and ordering His angels to watch over you. Lifting your eyes to Him brings renewed strength and reminds you that you are never abandoned in your struggle. [18:37]
Psalm 121:1-2 (ESV)
"I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth."
Reflection: In what situation do you need to stop looking down in discouragement and start looking up to God for help? Take a moment today to lift your eyes and ask Him for the strength you need.
Day 5: Look Around—Practice Gratitude for What Remains
It’s easy to focus on what you’ve lost or who’s against you, but God invites you to look around and see the blessings and people He’s placed in your life. Like Naomi, you may feel empty or bitter, but if you look closely, you’ll see that God has not left you alone—He’s given you relationships, provision, and reasons to be grateful. Practicing gratitude breaks the power of offense and shifts your heart from complaint to praise, helping you see that you are never truly alone. [27:52]
1 Thessalonians 5:18 (ESV)
"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
Reflection: What is one specific thing or person in your life that you’ve overlooked because of pain or disappointment? How can you express gratitude for them today, even in the midst of your struggle?
Quotes
Overlooking offense, letting stuff go, doesn't mean you're soft. It doesn't mean you're weak. It doesn't mean you're passive. It doesn't mean you're actually naive either. You can be brave, courageous, you can be assertive, and you can be woke and completely aware and still overlook an offense. Because you're choosing peace over pandemonium. [00:03:29] (25 seconds)
Whatever you focus on gets bigger. Ooh, y 'all missed that right there. If you got a camera in your hand and got a lens, the more you focus, the bigger it gets. The more prominent it gets. That's why some of y 'all got to stop focusing on the Washington Post and on the New York Times and on Huffington Post and on the Shade Room and on CNN and on Fox News. Because every time you focus on that, problems get bigger and bigger and bigger. Somebody needs to learn how to focus on God's Word. [00:14:16] (28 seconds)
Sometimes you just got to say, you know what? A year or two from now, watch this. This test will be my testimony. This thing that got me up all night, tossing and turning. One day I'm going to sit down at lunch and tell people how I got over. How the Lord worked it out. [00:17:39] (20 seconds)
You got to look up because help is coming. Help is coming. Give me that song. Psalm 57. 57 -3, I think it is, yeah. David was in war, and he was being chased by Saul's soldiers. And this is what he said. He said, God will send help from heaven to rescue me. Somebody say, look up. Help is coming from heaven. [00:19:33] (21 seconds)
Look ahead. This too shall pass. Look up. Help is on the way. In fact, it ain't on the way. He's present. Jehovah Shammah, the Lord is here. Emmanuel, God is with us. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil because you're... [00:24:45] (24 seconds)
I want to break up something. I'm trying to break you up with this relationship you have with your trouble. All you keep looking at is what's wrong. Look around. If you look around, you'll see what's right. [00:25:24] (17 seconds)
You keep looking at who's against you and you forget who's for you. Thank you, Lord. Thank you. If God be for me, he's more than the world against me, don't forget who's for you. [00:25:48] (19 seconds)
The problem with too many of y 'all is you don't appreciate who's still with you. You so focused on who's against you. That's why you're lonely. People sick and tired of being around you always talking about what you lost. What they taking from me. And they did this. And they did that. That's why nobody won't be around you. You don't see us? We here with you, ride or die. [00:34:07] (24 seconds)
Some of y 'all need to go on a complaining fast right now. I'm putting y 'all on a fast. You part of my church, we going on a fast right now. We going on a complaining fast. You will not be allowed to complain. Till next Sunday. Every time you complain, catch yourself. Oops, but I got running water in the house. Oops, I got a toilet in the house. Oops, got food to eat. Oops, the Lord is still with me. Oops, in my right mind. Oops, the same God who brought me through before will bring me through again. Catch yourself complaining and learn how to be grateful. [00:34:33] (34 seconds)
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