Choosing Forgiveness Over Revenge: A Christian Perspective

 

Summary

In today's message, we explored the profound concept of justice and revenge through the lens of our Christian faith. We began with a light-hearted story about a college prank war, which served as a metaphor for the cycle of revenge that can easily ensnare us. This cycle, while often starting in good fun, can escalate and lead to unintended consequences. We are reminded that as beings created in the image of God, we have an inherent sense of justice. This divine fingerprint compels us to make wrong things right, but it can also be twisted by the world into a desire for personal revenge.

We delved into Romans 12:17, where Paul instructs us not to repay evil with evil but to live honorably. Paul, who endured immense suffering for his faith, including imprisonment and physical abuse, speaks from a place of deep experience. His life exemplifies the call to rise above the natural inclination for revenge and instead reflect the character of Christ, who forgave even as He was crucified.

We also examined the real-life story of Victoria Ruvolo, who chose forgiveness over vengeance after a traumatic incident. Her decision to show compassion to the young man who caused her harm exemplifies the transformative power of grace. This story challenges us to consider how we can respond to those who wrong us with love and forgiveness, rather than seeking retribution.

In practical terms, we discussed two steps to help us live out this call to forgiveness: slowing down to think and plan our responses, and praying for our enemies. These steps require intentionality and a commitment to embodying the teachings of Jesus in our daily lives. By doing so, we not only honor God but also become a testament to His grace and mercy in a world that often seeks revenge.

Key Takeaways:

1. The Cycle of Revenge: The cycle of revenge is a natural human response, but it is not the way of Christ. We are called to break this cycle by choosing forgiveness and grace, reflecting the character of God who forgives us despite our transgressions. [08:04]

2. Justice vs. Revenge: Our innate sense of justice is a reflection of God's character, but it can be distorted into a desire for personal revenge. True justice is about making wrong things right in alignment with God's will, not seeking personal retribution. [15:48]

3. Forgiveness as a Testimony: The story of Victoria Ruvolo illustrates the power of forgiveness as a testimony to God's grace. By choosing to forgive, we not only free ourselves from the burden of bitterness but also demonstrate the transformative power of Christ's love. [22:47]

4. Practical Steps to Forgiveness: To live out the call to forgive, we must intentionally slow down and plan our responses to those who wrong us. This involves thoughtful reflection and prayer, allowing us to respond with grace rather than react in anger. [28:10]

5. Praying for Our Enemies: Praying for those who have wronged us is a powerful act of obedience and love. It aligns our hearts with God's and opens the door for healing and reconciliation, both for ourselves and for those we pray for. [32:33]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [02:00] - Introduction to Justice and Revenge
- [04:30] - College Prank War Story
- [08:04] - The Cycle of Revenge
- [10:45] - God's Image and Justice
- [13:30] - The Real Story of Hugh Glass
- [15:48] - Justice vs. Revenge
- [19:10] - Biblical Teachings on Revenge
- [22:47] - Victoria Ruvolo's Story
- [25:30] - Two Steps to Forgiveness
- [28:10] - Slowing Down and Planning
- [30:27] - Praying for Our Enemies
- [32:33] - Practical Prayer Exercise
- [35:00] - The Biltmore Hotel Story
- [37:00] - Invitation to Follow Jesus

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
- Romans 12:17
- Matthew 5:44
- Proverbs 25:21-22

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Observation Questions:

1. What does Romans 12:17 instruct us to do when faced with evil? How does this align with the sermon’s message on revenge? [08:04]

2. In the sermon, how did the story of Victoria Ruvolo illustrate the concept of forgiveness over vengeance? [22:47]

3. What are the two practical steps mentioned in the sermon to help us live out the call to forgiveness? [28:10]

4. How does the sermon describe the difference between justice and revenge, and what biblical examples are used to illustrate this? [15:48]

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Interpretation Questions:

1. How does the sermon suggest that our innate sense of justice can be distorted into a desire for personal revenge? What role does our faith play in correcting this distortion? [15:48]

2. In what ways does the sermon suggest that praying for our enemies can transform our hearts and relationships? [28:10]

3. How does the story of Paul’s experiences with suffering and persecution provide a model for responding to injustice and evil? [08:04]

4. What does the sermon imply about the impact of choosing forgiveness over revenge on both the individual and the community? [22:47]

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on a time when you were caught in a cycle of revenge. How did it affect you and those around you? What steps can you take to break that cycle in the future? [08:04]

2. Consider the story of Victoria Ruvolo. How can you apply her example of forgiveness in a current or past conflict in your life? [22:47]

3. The sermon suggests slowing down and planning our responses to those who wrong us. What practical steps can you take to implement this in your daily interactions? [28:10]

4. Praying for our enemies is a challenging task. Identify someone you struggle with and commit to praying for them this week. How might this change your perspective or relationship with them? [30:27]

5. How can you ensure that your sense of justice aligns with God’s will rather than personal retribution? What role does prayer and scripture play in this process? [15:48]

6. The sermon highlights the importance of living honorably in the face of evil. What specific actions can you take to reflect the character of Christ in difficult situations? [08:04]

7. How can you incorporate the teachings of Romans 12:17 into your interactions at work, home, or in your community? What challenges do you anticipate, and how can you overcome them? [08:04]

Devotional

Day 1: Breaking the Cycle of Revenge
The cycle of revenge is a natural human response, but it is not the way of Christ. We are called to break this cycle by choosing forgiveness and grace, reflecting the character of God who forgives us despite our transgressions. Revenge often begins with small acts, like a college prank, but can quickly escalate into something much more damaging. As Christians, we are reminded that our actions should reflect the teachings of Jesus, who calls us to forgive and love our enemies. By choosing forgiveness over revenge, we not only break the cycle but also demonstrate the transformative power of God's love. [08:04]

Romans 12:19-21 (ESV): "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.' To the contrary, 'if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Reflection: Think of a situation where you have been wronged. How can you actively choose to break the cycle of revenge and respond with forgiveness today?


Day 2: True Justice Reflects God's Will
Our innate sense of justice is a reflection of God's character, but it can be distorted into a desire for personal revenge. True justice is about making wrong things right in alignment with God's will, not seeking personal retribution. This understanding calls us to examine our motives when we feel wronged. Are we seeking to restore and heal, or are we driven by a desire to see others suffer as we have? By aligning our sense of justice with God's will, we can act in ways that promote healing and reconciliation rather than division and pain. [15:48]

Micah 6:8 (ESV): "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"

Reflection: Consider a time when you felt a strong sense of injustice. How can you align your response with God's will for true justice rather than personal revenge?


Day 3: Forgiveness as a Testimony to Grace
The story of Victoria Ruvolo illustrates the power of forgiveness as a testimony to God's grace. By choosing to forgive, we not only free ourselves from the burden of bitterness but also demonstrate the transformative power of Christ's love. Victoria's decision to forgive the young man who harmed her was not just an act of personal healing but a powerful witness to the world of what grace looks like in action. Her story challenges us to consider how our own acts of forgiveness can serve as a testimony to the grace we have received from God. [22:47]

Colossians 3:12-13 (ESV): "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."

Reflection: Reflect on a person you need to forgive. How can your act of forgiveness serve as a testimony to God's grace in your life?


Day 4: Intentional Steps Toward Forgiveness
To live out the call to forgive, we must intentionally slow down and plan our responses to those who wrong us. This involves thoughtful reflection and prayer, allowing us to respond with grace rather than react in anger. By taking the time to consider our actions and seek God's guidance, we can ensure that our responses are in line with the teachings of Jesus. This intentionality not only helps us to forgive but also strengthens our relationship with God as we rely on Him for wisdom and strength. [28:10]

James 1:19-20 (ESV): "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."

Reflection: Identify a situation where you need to respond with forgiveness. How can you intentionally slow down and plan your response to align with God's grace?


Day 5: Praying for Our Enemies
Praying for those who have wronged us is a powerful act of obedience and love. It aligns our hearts with God's and opens the door for healing and reconciliation, both for ourselves and for those we pray for. By lifting our enemies up in prayer, we invite God's presence into the situation and allow His love to transform our hearts. This act of prayer not only changes our perspective but also has the potential to bring about change in the lives of those we pray for. [32:33]

Matthew 5:44-45 (ESV): "But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust."

Reflection: Think of someone who has wronged you. How can you begin to pray for them today, asking God to work in both their life and yours?

Quotes

"Until four weeks later, I'm walking down in the commons area of the dorm where everybody comes in and out. And for four weeks, I hadn't seen it. But on a bulletin board was a sign that said Brett Levi's underwear and had underwear tacked up to the bulletin board. I thought we had won for four weeks. And I took it down, and then it was officially over. I quit. I was like, I tap out. Y 'all win. Like, now all of that was all, like, good nature. Nobody was mad. Nobody was ever had hurt feelings, was angry about it. But it does give us a picture of what the revenge cycle looks like, right? Like someone wrongs you, and then you wrong them, and then they wrong you, and the cycle goes back and forth." [00:02:36] (45 seconds)


"One part of what that means is that God, whose character and his nature is just, he defines by his character what justice is, because we were created in that image. It's like the fingerprint of God is on us, and we have in us inherently a draw towards making wrong things right. Justice. Like, we have that in us." [00:03:39] (24 seconds)


"Paul was put in prison for talking about Jesus. Now, again, those are just words, but think about what that means. In those days, locked away in a cold, damp prison, not knowing when you're gonna get out, away from your friends, away from your family, because you preached Jesus. Like none of us in this room, I think, have been to prison for Jesus. If you have, I guarantee you can't check the other boxes." [00:12:41] (24 seconds)


"Victoria Ruvolo was given the title of, oh, what was it? Most Impressive Woman of the Year. I can't remember what the title was. But she had an incredible story several years ago. She's driving her niece to lessons, voice lessons. And her paths crossed with a 19 -year -old guy named Ryan Cushing. Ryan and a bunch of his buddies had stolen some credit cards, and they'd gone on a credit card spending spree with stolen credit cards. One of the things they bought was a 20 -pound frozen turkey." [00:22:27] (32 seconds)


"That's where this idea of slowing down and thinking comes from. Because Paul says, hey, don't repay evil for evil, but give thought. Carefully consider how you're going to do the right thing. Listen, in the midst of someone wronging you, in the midst of someone paying evil forward to you, your emotions get a little bit hot. Like you get angry a lot quicker." [00:26:17] (30 seconds)


"And that moment is not the easiest moment to think through how to live honorably. It's not the easiest moment to think through what does the Christian distinctive look like. Like think about it. Like if you're in the car with Victoria Rubelov and the turkey goes through the windshield and she crashes the car and that car full of boys stops to see what happens. And you're in the car and you're related to Victoria and you're not injured, but you see what happens and you see those boys. In that moment, your first thought is probably not like, those are the ones we should pray for." [00:26:55] (35 seconds)


"Your thought is, they better drive faster than I can run. Right? Like that's because it's the heat of the moment. So think now. We plan now. When evil happens to you, when someone wrongs you, how do I respond? We just came out of our series hated. That's why this was a great segue into it. Wrapping up this, that series and launching two -step. Think now and listen, you won't do it unless you do it." [00:27:40] (25 seconds)


"What I mean is, if you don't go home tonight and carve out some time, if you don't have some conversations with a small group, if you don't have some conversation with a spouse or a friend, hey, what does it look like? If someone wrongs us, if someone hurts us, let's make a plan now of how we'll respond. Because you'll be more likely, you may not be perfect, but you'll be more likely if you've thought carefully, as Paul would say, into how to respond." [00:28:25] (25 seconds)


"And here's the second thing. Your second, step number two. Pray for your enemies. Boy, man, that's easy to write. That's really hard to do. One of the things that we do, one of the things that we purposefully do here at City Church is try to craft a service for you that you're in like this with someone who's maybe coming for the first time in mind. So there's a lot of things that we don't do in our church during this hour that other churches do because if it's your first time, we don't want you to come in and go like, I'm an outsider here and they're all insiders. One of the things that churches do that we don't traditionally do is have times of like corporate prayer where the church might just go, hey, take five minutes and pray for such and such. We just don't do that because if you're a guest or if you brought a friend with you and they've never prayed before in their life, they don't know how to pray. And we're like, all right, everybody bow your heads and close your eyes. And you just spend five minutes talking to the Lord. That person who doesn't know God or doesn't feel like they know how to pray is like, this is weird, like for me, I'm an outsider." [00:28:55] (65 seconds)


"And we don't ever want you to feel like an outsider because the kingdom of God is reaching out to people all the time to say, hey, come be inside. But as we were talking to our message series team that helps us think through what we do in a series, someone on our message series team, we're talking about praying for your enemies. And they said this, this is a believer, what does that even look like? What does that even look like? How do we pray for, how do we pray for our enemies?" [00:30:54] (26 seconds)


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Transcript
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