The "I" Problem: Choosing God Over Selfishness

The eye problem sits right in the middle of sin. Selfishness says, “I like that,” “I want that,” “I’ll do it my way,” and often never thinks what it does to the other person. The trouble goes right back to Adam and Eve, where God gave one clear direction, “Don’t eat from that tree,” and the fruit looked good enough for disobedience. Sin entered the world through that selfish act, not because fruit was evil, but because God had said no and the human heart still wanted to be satisfied on its own terms.

Genesis 13 shows the same old problem in Lot. Abram and Lot had been blessed by God with great possessions, so much so that the land could not hold all their flocks together. Abram acted as the older uncle who should have been respected, yet he said, “Lot, you choose.” Lot looked up, saw the well watered plain, chose for himself, and tried to take the lot. His eyes saw what looked best, but his choice took him toward Sodom and Gomorrah.

The story of Israel keeps showing the same thing. Judges ends with everyone doing what was right in his own eyes. Saul did what he wanted and grew jealous of David. David did what he wanted when he saw Bathsheba, and his selfish desire ended with another man dead. The rich fool in Luke 12 had crops and barns, but every sentence was full of “I” and “my.” Laodicea said, “I am rich,” yet the Lord said they were wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked.

The eye problem still turns up in ordinary life. Selfishness blocks driveways, takes the best bit of cake, refuses to pass the ball, and wants to be the important person even in church. Good things become wrong when they are grasped without thought for others.

Satisfaction comes when the I is crossed out. The “O” points to others, and still more, the Son points to Jesus. Philippians 2 shows the Son who did not hold tightly to status, but humbled himself and served others. God gave Abram the land after Lot chose for himself. God told David that more would have been given if what he had was too little. Psalm 34 says those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing. Satisfaction comes not from grabbing what self wants, but from waiting for what God gives.

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Key Takeaways

• 1. The eye problem starts early Selfishness is not a small bad habit added on late in life. Genesis shows the “I” already at work in the garden, where what looked good became more important than what God had said. The heart’s first move toward sin is often not open hatred of God, but quiet trust in its own appetite. [18:50]
• 2. Lot looked, then chose himself Lot’s trouble began with his eyes, because the well watered plain looked like the best thing available. His choice was not merely practical, it was self-centred, because Abram’s generosity became Lot’s opportunity to grab. The best-looking road can still carry a soul toward Sodom when God and neighbour are left out of the reckoning. [27:10]
• 3. Selfish choices wound other people David’s desire did not stay private, and the rich fool’s barns did not make him wise. The “I want that” spirit always spills over, costing others dignity, safety, mercy, or life itself. Sin flatters the self with satisfaction, but it leaves a trail that the self often refuses to look back and see. [29:25]
• 4. The Son crosses out self Jesus stands as the answer to the big I in the middle. Philippians 2 shows the Son refusing to clutch status, choosing humility, and serving others rather than himself. The cross does not merely forgive selfishness, it exposes a whole different way of being human before God. [40:51]
• 5. Satisfaction waits on God’s gift Psalm 34 gives a better promise than self-grabbing can offer: those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing. God’s gifts may come later than desire wants, but they come cleaner than anything seized by selfishness. Waiting on the Lord is not passive emptiness, but trust that the giver knows both the need and the time. [46:13]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [16:47] - The Eye Problem
• [18:50] - Adam and Eve’s First Selfish Choice
• [22:12] - Abram and Lot Face a Problem
• [25:32] - Lot Chooses the Best for Himself
• [28:21] - Everyone Did What Was Right
• [30:11] - The Rich Fool and His Barns
• [32:04] - Laodicea’s Blind Wealth
• [33:10] - Everyday Examples of Selfishness
• [38:53] - The Consequences of Selfish Choices
• [40:04] - From Selfishness to Satisfaction
• [40:51] - The Son Who Served Others
• [42:11] - God Gives What Grabbing Misses
• [45:43] - Let the I Be Crossed Out
• [47:25] - Waiting for the Lord’s Gift

Bible Reading

Philippians 2:5-8
“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” [41:26]

Psalm 34:10
“The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.” [46:13]

Genesis 13:8-12
“Then Abram said to Lot, ‘Let there be no strife between you and me, and between your herdsmen and my herdsmen, for we are kinsmen. Is not the whole land before you? Separate yourself from me. If you take the left hand, then I will go to the right, or if you take the right hand, then I will go to the left.’ And Lot lifted up his eyes and saw that the Jordan Valley was well watered everywhere like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, in the direction of Zoar. (This was before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) So Lot chose for himself all the Jordan Valley, and Lot journeyed east. Thus they separated from each other.” [27:10]

Luke 12:16-21
“And he told them a parable, saying, ‘The land of a rich man produced plentifully, and he thought to himself, “What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?” And he said, “I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, ‘Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.’” But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.’” [30:43]

Revelation 3:17
“For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.” [32:22]

Observation questions

1. In Genesis 13, what did Abram offer Lot, and what details are given about how Lot made his choice? [27:10]
2. In Luke 12, what words keep appearing in the rich man’s thinking, and what does that show about where his mind is fixed? [30:43]
3. In Revelation 3:17, how did Laodicea describe itself, and how did the Lord describe it instead? [32:22]
4. What ordinary examples show how selfishness can appear in everyday life, even in small things that may seem harmless at first? [33:10]

Interpretation questions

1. Lot saw land that looked like the best option and chose for himself. What does that suggest about the danger of making decisions by appearance alone, especially when another person is affected? [27:10]
2. The rich fool’s problem was not simply that he had a good harvest or large barns. Why does Scripture treat his attitude as foolish rather than wise? [30:11]
3. Philippians 2 says that Christ did not grasp at status, but humbled himself and served. How does Jesus expose what is wrong with the heart that always says, “I want that” or “I’ll do it my way”? [41:26]
4. Psalm 34:10 says that those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. How does that promise challenge the fear that letting go of self-interest will leave a person empty or overlooked? [46:13]

Application questions

1. Where does the “I” tend to show up most strongly in daily life right now—at home, at work, on the road, with money, or in church—and what usually brings it out? [16:47]
2. Has there been a recent choice where something looked good, reasonable, or deserved, but taking it would have ignored the good of someone else? How was that tension handled? [27:53]
3. Selfishness often harms other people more than first appears. Is there any past action that seemed satisfying at the time but later proved costly to someone else? What would repentance or repair look like now? [30:02]
4. Jesus did not cling to status, but took the form of a servant. In what relationship or situation would it look like to choose a lower place, serve quietly, or let another person be honoured first? [41:36]
5. Some good things become wrong when they are grasped without thought for others. Are there good desires—comfort, recognition, security, possessions, even ministry roles—that are in danger of becoming self-centred? [36:07]
6. “Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.” Where is there a temptation to grab now instead of wait—whether for provision, recognition, companionship, or a particular outcome? What might trusting the Lord’s timing look like in that area? [47:25]
7. If the “I” is to be crossed out and replaced with attention to others and trust in the Son, what is one practical change that could be made this week so that another person is served rather than self being satisfied? [45:43]