Chastity: Embracing Freedom and Spiritual Maturity
Summary
In today's reflection, we explored the profound concept of chastity as a spiritual discipline, drawing from the insights of Dallas Willard. Chastity, often misunderstood, is not about repression or denial of our sexuality but about learning to live in freedom from being governed by it. Sexuality, a powerful force in human nature, can become an obsession or a source of suffering if not approached with wisdom and grace. The practice of chastity involves purposefully turning away from dwelling on or engaging in the sexual dimension of our relationships, even within marriage, to cultivate a deeper appreciation for our partners as whole persons.
The ancient rabbis celebrated sexuality as God's idea, with the first command in the Torah being to "be fruitful and multiply." However, the misuse and abuse of sexuality have led to significant human suffering, making it imperative to learn how to possess our bodies in sanctification and honor. This discipline is not about white-knuckling or repressing desires but about transforming our thoughts and desires through spiritual maturity. As we grow in our relationship with God, the thoughts that once obsessed us begin to lose their grip.
Chastity is about making conscious decisions, like Job's covenant with his eyes, to not seek gratification from fleeting sexual indulgences. It involves exercising self-control and redirecting our focus towards God and the person we aspire to be. This practice is not about avoiding attractive people but about seeing them as whole individuals, worthy of love and respect, not objects for gratification. By practicing love and seeking the good of others, we can live in community with deep friendship and joy, honoring the worth of one another.
Key Takeaways:
- Chastity is not about repression but about freedom from being governed by sexual desires. It involves purposefully turning away from dwelling on the sexual dimension of relationships to appreciate partners as whole persons. [03:34]
- Sexuality, while a gift from God, can become an obsession or source of suffering if misused. Learning to possess our bodies in sanctification and honor is crucial to avoid being enslaved by sexual thoughts and addictions. [04:19]
- Spiritual maturity involves transforming our thoughts and desires. As we grow in our relationship with God, the thoughts that once obsessed us begin to lose their grip, allowing us to live in freedom. [07:51]
- Practicing chastity involves making conscious decisions, like Job's covenant with his eyes, to not seek gratification from fleeting indulgences. It requires self-control and a focus on becoming the person we aspire to be. [09:09]
- Chastity is about seeing others as whole individuals, worthy of love and respect, not objects for gratification. By practicing love and seeking the good of others, we can live in community with deep friendship and joy. [11:05]
Youtube Chapters:
[00:00] - Welcome
[00:27] - The Easy Yoke of Jesus
[00:42] - Practices of Abstinence
[00:56] - Introducing Chastity
[01:09] - God's Idea of Sexuality
[01:25] - The First Command
[02:01] - The Problem of Obsession
[02:14] - The Concept of Sex Symbol
[02:44] - The Tragedy of Aging
[03:09] - Defining Chastity
[03:34] - The Discipline of Chastity
[04:04] - Possessing Our Vessel
[04:51] - Abstention in Marriage
[05:29] - Voluntary Abstention
[06:24] - What Chastity is Not
[07:35] - Spiritual Maturity
[08:21] - Developing a Vision
[09:09] - Covenant with the Eyes
[10:20] - Seeing Others as Whole
[11:05] - Practicing Love and Chastity
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: The Discipline of Chastity
Bible Reading:
1. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 - "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor."
2. Job 31:1 - "I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?"
Observation Questions:
1. According to the sermon, how does Dallas Willard define the practice of chastity? What is its purpose? [03:22]
2. What does the sermon suggest about the role of sexuality in human suffering and obsession? [04:19]
3. How does the sermon describe the relationship between chastity and spiritual maturity? [07:35]
4. What example from the Book of Job is used in the sermon to illustrate a conscious decision related to chastity? [09:09]
Interpretation Questions:
1. How does the sermon interpret the biblical command to "possess our vessel in sanctification and honor" in the context of chastity? [04:04]
2. In what ways does the sermon suggest that chastity can lead to a deeper appreciation of others as whole persons? [05:29]
3. How does the sermon propose that spiritual maturity can transform our thoughts and desires, particularly in relation to sexuality? [07:51]
4. What does the sermon imply about the importance of making conscious decisions, like Job's covenant with his eyes, in practicing chastity? [09:09]
Application Questions:
1. Reflect on your own understanding of chastity. How does it align or differ from the perspective shared in the sermon? What steps can you take to align your understanding with the sermon’s teachings? [03:22]
2. Consider a time when sexual thoughts or desires have been a source of struggle for you. How might the practice of chastity, as described in the sermon, help you find freedom from these struggles? [04:19]
3. The sermon emphasizes seeing others as whole individuals. How can you practice this perspective in your daily interactions, especially with those you find attractive? [10:20]
4. What practical steps can you take to develop a vision for yourself as someone who is not enslaved by sexual desires? How can this vision influence your relationships? [08:21]
5. Think about a specific situation where you might need to make a conscious decision, like Job's covenant with his eyes, to avoid seeking gratification from fleeting indulgences. How can you prepare for this situation? [09:09]
6. How can you incorporate the practice of love and seeking the good of others into your daily life, as suggested in the sermon? What changes might this require in your current relationships? [11:05]
7. Identify one area in your life where you feel governed by desires. What is one specific action you can take this week to redirect your focus towards God and the person you aspire to be? [09:57]
Devotional
Day 1: Freedom Through Chastity
Chastity is often misunderstood as a form of repression, but it is actually about achieving freedom from being governed by sexual desires. It involves intentionally turning away from focusing on the sexual aspects of relationships to appreciate partners as whole persons. This practice allows individuals to live in freedom, not being enslaved by their desires, and to cultivate a deeper appreciation for their partners. By doing so, one can experience a more profound connection that transcends physical attraction and fosters genuine love and respect. [03:34]
"For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another." (Galatians 5:13, ESV)
Reflection: In what ways can you shift your focus from physical attraction to appreciating the whole person in your relationships today?
Day 2: Sanctification and Honor in Sexuality
Sexuality is a powerful gift from God, but it can become an obsession or a source of suffering if misused. Learning to possess our bodies in sanctification and honor is crucial to avoid being enslaved by sexual thoughts and addictions. This involves recognizing the sacredness of our bodies and treating them with respect, as well as understanding the impact of our actions on ourselves and others. By doing so, we can prevent the misuse and abuse of sexuality, which has led to significant human suffering throughout history. [04:19]
"For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor." (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, ESV)
Reflection: How can you practice sanctification and honor in your daily life, particularly in how you view and treat your own body?
Day 3: Transforming Thoughts and Desires
Spiritual maturity involves transforming our thoughts and desires. As we grow in our relationship with God, the thoughts that once obsessed us begin to lose their grip, allowing us to live in freedom. This transformation is not about repressing desires but about redirecting them towards a deeper relationship with God. By focusing on spiritual growth, we can experience a shift in our priorities and desires, leading to a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life. [07:51]
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:2, ESV)
Reflection: What is one thought or desire you need to transform today, and how can you invite God into that process?
Day 4: Conscious Decisions and Self-Control
Practicing chastity involves making conscious decisions, like Job's covenant with his eyes, to not seek gratification from fleeting indulgences. It requires self-control and a focus on becoming the person we aspire to be. By exercising self-control, we can resist the temptation to indulge in fleeting pleasures and instead focus on long-term growth and fulfillment. This discipline helps us align our actions with our values and goals, leading to a more intentional and purpose-driven life. [09:09]
"I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?" (Job 31:1, ESV)
Reflection: What is one area where you need to exercise more self-control, and what steps can you take today to strengthen that discipline?
Day 5: Seeing Others as Whole Individuals
Chastity is about seeing others as whole individuals, worthy of love and respect, not objects for gratification. By practicing love and seeking the good of others, we can live in community with deep friendship and joy. This perspective shift allows us to build meaningful relationships based on mutual respect and understanding, rather than superficial attraction. By valuing others for who they are, we can create a supportive and loving community that honors the worth of each individual. [11:05]
"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:4, ESV)
Reflection: How can you practice seeing others as whole individuals today, and what impact might this have on your relationships?
Quotes
In exercising the spiritual discipline of Chastity, we purposefully turn away from dwelling upon or engaging in the sexual dimension of our relationships to others, even our husbands or our wives. [00:03:31]
Sexuality is one of the most powerful subtle forces in human nature and the percentage of humans suffering tied directly to it is horrifying. The human abuse stemming from sex, both outside and within marriage, makes it imperative that we learn how to possess our vessel in sanctification and honor. [00:03:50]
Abstention within marriage by mutual agreement was counseled by Paul as an aid to fasting and prayer. Contrary to much modern thought, it is absolutely vital to the health of any marriage that sexual gratification not be placed at the center of the marriage. [00:04:45]
Voluntary abstention helps us appreciate and love our mates as whole persons, of which their sexuality is but one part, and it confirms in us the practice of being very close to people without sexual entanglements. [00:05:20]
We need to learn how do we appreciate and value our sexuality, our whole body, and not be governed by it. [00:06:15]
The strategy of repression and trying to push it away and manage it by white-knuckling willpower does not work. In Jesus' days, there were rabbis who, in order to avoid any kind of sexual misbehavior, made a commitment that they would never be around a woman. [00:06:31]
One of the things that Dallas would talk about in terms of spiritual maturity is one of the signs of it are the thoughts that no longer occur to us. [00:07:36]
I must begin by developing a vision for myself as a person who is no longer enslaved by that, and thinking that is who I want to be. [00:08:24]
Another part of this practice comes from The Book of Job where Job says at one point, "I have made a covenant with my eyes, not to look on a woman," and the idea is that I make a decision that I'll no longer try to get that gratification. [00:09:05]
To practice Chastity does not mean that we stay away from those people that would be attracted to. It means that we learn to see them and love them as whole people who also have a father and a mother and are not an object for me to use for the gratification of an appetite. [00:10:25]
To practice Chastity then, Dallas writes, we must first practice love, practice seeking the good of those of the opposite sex that we come in contact with at home, work, school, church, or next door, or the same sex if attraction runs that way. [00:11:06]
Then we will be free to practice the discipline of Chastity as appropriate and to gain only positive results from it. [00:11:25]
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