Chasing True Identity Beyond Work and Achievement
Summary
### Summary
Good morning, Rivers Crossing. Today, we delved into the profound wisdom found in Ecclesiastes, focusing on the futility of chasing after work and how it impacts our identity. We began by reflecting on the roles and titles that define us, whether as parents, professionals, or students. Solomon's words in Ecclesiastes reveal the emptiness of laboring for earthly gains, which ultimately leads to despair and a sense of meaninglessness. This morning, we explored how our Western culture, particularly in America, often ties our identity so closely to our careers that we lose sight of who we truly are.
We discussed the concept of enmeshment, where our roles and identities become so intertwined that we struggle to separate our personal lives from our work lives. This enmeshment can lead to poor coping strategies, anxiety, and even substance abuse when our work situation changes. We examined how chasing work can devalue our influence at home and how important it is to model grace, mercy, and rest for our children. Solomon's advice in Ecclesiastes and Proverbs reminds us to teach our children to chase after the heart of God rather than earthly achievements.
We also touched on the importance of living in the tension between work and spiritual commitments. It's crucial to find a balance and not let work or extracurricular activities completely overshadow our spiritual lives. By modeling this balance, we can teach our children the importance of prioritizing their relationship with God.
Finally, we concluded with a call to stop chasing after meaningless earthly pursuits and instead focus on chasing the heart of the Father. We took communion together, remembering the sacrifice of Jesus, who modeled a life of purpose and sacrifice rather than striving and chasing. As we sang a closing song, we were reminded that our true identity is found in being children of God, and that is the one thing worth chasing.
### Key Takeaways
1. Identity and Work: Chasing after work can cost you your identity. In our culture, we often tie our self-worth to our careers, leading to a fragile sense of self that can be easily shaken by job changes or failures. Instead, our identity should be rooted in being children of God, which is unchanging and eternal. [06:04]
2. Enmeshment and Boundaries: The blurring of lines between work and personal life can lead to enmeshment, where roles and identities become indistinguishable. This can cause anxiety and poor coping strategies. It's essential to set clear boundaries and ensure that our identity is not solely defined by our work. [07:09]
3. Modeling for the Next Generation: What we model for our children significantly impacts their understanding of work, rest, and spiritual priorities. If we chase after work and neglect spiritual commitments, our children will likely do the same. Teaching them to chase after the heart of God is the most valuable lesson we can impart. [15:41]
4. Living in Tension: Balancing work, family, and spiritual commitments requires living in tension. This tension is not inherently bad; it can hold our lives in balance. Prioritizing church and spiritual activities, even amidst busy schedules, teaches our children the importance of their relationship with God. [17:32]
5. The Futility of Earthly Pursuits: Solomon's wisdom in Ecclesiastes highlights the futility of chasing after earthly achievements. These pursuits are ultimately meaningless and will be left to others. Instead, we should focus on chasing the heart of God, which brings true fulfillment and purpose. [23:27]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[00:50] - Interactive Exercise: Defining Roles
[01:45] - Introduction to Ecclesiastes
[02:31] - Solomon's View on Work
[03:46] - The Futility of Labor
[04:24] - Chasing Work and Identity
[05:27] - The Cost of Chasing Work
[06:04] - Identity Tied to Career
[07:09] - Enmeshment and Blurred Roles
[08:16] - Evaluating Your Roles
[09:13] - Personal Testimony
[09:50] - Re-reading Ecclesiastes
[10:50] - Reflecting on Roles and Titles
[11:34] - Rating Your Roles
[12:53] - Doug Fields on Chasing Work
[13:33] - The Importance of Hard Work
[14:22] - Influence at Home
[15:41] - Teaching the Next Generation
[16:25] - Solomon's Conclusion
[17:32] - Living in Tension
[18:21] - Balancing Church and Activities
[19:04] - Empathy for Busy Parents
[19:57] - The Importance of Church
[21:02] - Modeling for Children
[21:47] - Personal Examples
[22:37] - Avoiding Legalism
[23:27] - Solomon's Strong Words
[24:25] - The Chase Only Ends When You Stop
[25:14] - Justin's Testimony
[25:59] - Amanda Knox's Epiphany
[28:11] - Evaluating Your Life
[29:25] - Jesus' Words in John
[30:15] - Communion
[31:26] - Closing Song and Final Thoughts
[32:01] - Final Quote and Call to Worship
Study Guide
### Bible Reading
1. Ecclesiastes 2:18-23 (NIV)
2. Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)
3. John 6:63 (NIV)
### Observation Questions
1. According to Ecclesiastes 2:18-23, what does Solomon say about the results of his hard work and labor? [03:04]
2. What does Proverbs 22:6 instruct parents to do, and how does this relate to the sermon’s message about modeling for the next generation? [15:41]
3. In John 6:63, what does Jesus say gives life, and how does this contrast with earthly pursuits? [29:25]
4. What are some of the negative consequences mentioned in the sermon that result from enmeshment between work and personal life? [07:09]
### Interpretation Questions
1. How does Solomon’s view on the futility of labor in Ecclesiastes 2:18-23 challenge our modern understanding of work and success? [03:04]
2. What does the concept of enmeshment reveal about the potential dangers of not setting boundaries between work and personal life? [07:09]
3. How can Proverbs 22:6 be applied in the context of teaching children to prioritize their relationship with God over earthly achievements? [15:41]
4. What does Jesus’ statement in John 6:63 imply about the source of true fulfillment and purpose in life? [29:25]
### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your own life: Are there any roles or titles that you have allowed to define your identity too closely? How can you begin to shift your identity to being rooted in being a child of God? [06:04]
2. Have you experienced enmeshment between your work and personal life? What steps can you take to set clearer boundaries and ensure your identity is not solely defined by your work? [07:09]
3. Think about the way you model work, rest, and spiritual priorities for your children or those around you. What changes can you make to better teach them to chase after the heart of God? [15:41]
4. How do you currently balance work, family, and spiritual commitments? Are there specific areas where you need to create more tension to prioritize your relationship with God? [17:32]
5. Solomon highlights the futility of chasing after earthly achievements. What are some earthly pursuits you find yourself chasing, and how can you refocus on chasing the heart of God? [23:27]
6. Reflect on a time when you felt your self-worth was tied to your career or achievements. How did that impact your mental and emotional well-being? What can you do to prevent this in the future? [08:16]
7. How can you practically model grace, mercy, and rest for your children or those you influence, especially in a culture that often values hard work and achievement above all else? [14:54]
Devotional
Day 1: Identity Beyond Work
Our culture often ties self-worth to careers, leading to a fragile sense of self that can be easily shaken by job changes or failures. Solomon's wisdom in Ecclesiastes reveals the emptiness of laboring for earthly gains, which ultimately leads to despair and a sense of meaninglessness. Instead, our identity should be rooted in being children of God, which is unchanging and eternal. This shift in perspective can bring true fulfillment and purpose, freeing us from the constant chase for validation through work. [06:04]
Ecclesiastes 2:22-23 (ESV): "What has a man from all the toil and striving of heart with which he toils beneath the sun? For all his days are full of sorrow, and his work is a vexation. Even in the night his heart does not rest. This also is vanity."
Reflection: Think about a recent time when a work-related issue affected your sense of self-worth. How can you remind yourself today that your true identity is as a child of God?
Day 2: Enmeshment and Boundaries
The blurring of lines between work and personal life can lead to enmeshment, where roles and identities become indistinguishable. This can cause anxiety and poor coping strategies, especially when work situations change. It's essential to set clear boundaries and ensure that our identity is not solely defined by our work. By doing so, we can maintain a healthier balance and a more stable sense of self, grounded in our relationship with God rather than our professional achievements. [07:09]
Psalm 127:2 (ESV): "It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep."
Reflection: Identify one boundary you can set today to separate your work life from your personal life. How can this boundary help you maintain a healthier balance?
Day 3: Modeling for the Next Generation
What we model for our children significantly impacts their understanding of work, rest, and spiritual priorities. If we chase after work and neglect spiritual commitments, our children will likely do the same. Teaching them to chase after the heart of God is the most valuable lesson we can impart. By prioritizing our relationship with God and modeling this balance, we can guide the next generation towards a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life. [15:41]
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (ESV): "And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."
Reflection: Reflect on your daily routine. What is one way you can model a balanced life that prioritizes spiritual commitments for your children today?
Day 4: Living in Tension
Balancing work, family, and spiritual commitments requires living in tension. This tension is not inherently bad; it can hold our lives in balance. Prioritizing church and spiritual activities, even amidst busy schedules, teaches our children the importance of their relationship with God. Embracing this tension can help us lead more balanced lives and set a positive example for those around us. [17:32]
Matthew 6:33 (ESV): "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
Reflection: Consider your current schedule. What is one spiritual activity you can prioritize this week to better balance your commitments?
Day 5: The Futility of Earthly Pursuits
Solomon's wisdom in Ecclesiastes highlights the futility of chasing after earthly achievements. These pursuits are ultimately meaningless and will be left to others. Instead, we should focus on chasing the heart of God, which brings true fulfillment and purpose. By shifting our focus from earthly gains to spiritual growth, we can find lasting peace and contentment. [23:27]
Ecclesiastes 1:14 (ESV): "I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind."
Reflection: Think about a recent goal or achievement you have been pursuing. How can you reframe this pursuit to focus more on spiritual growth and less on earthly gains?
Quotes
1. "Chasing work will cost you your identity. And again, we might unpack some of these things about having hard work or a good work ethic or being lazy. And this morning, it's going to apply to wherever you're at in life. If you are a student and you're chasing after those grades, if you're an entrepreneur, a business person, a stay-at-home parent. What's like defining your career is what I want to talk about this morning." [05:27] (20 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "If you tie your self-worth to your career, the successes and failures you experience will directly affect your self-worth. Has anyone ever heard the word enmeshment before? My wife's a therapist, so it's like being married to a word-of-the-day calendar sometimes. I just learn all these big words, and I just kind of nod along and pretend I know what she's saying, and then I'm Googling later to figure out what half of what she said was." [06:04] (25 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "Chasing work, chasing after it, wraps your identity up so closely into it that your self-worth is given away. You're giving your self-worth to something. And if that something shakes, so does your self-worth. I'm still telling people when they ask me what I do for a living that I was an engineer for 20 years before I quit and became a pastor. That was a little over two years ago. Why am I telling people that? They're not asking for my resume. They just want to know what I do for a living." [09:13] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "How about we stop chasing after earthly things under the sun and that pursuit that we just leave for someone and instead we chase after the heart of God and that's what we give to our kids? And I get it. don't think I would love for Malachi to chase after the heart of God while also being a second baseman for the Cleveland Guardians or middle linebacker for the Green Bay Packers? I would love it. Those are passions that he has, but I want him chasing the heart of God and our calendar reflects that." [24:25] (39 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "The chase only ends when you stop. There are people in this room, I know you've convinced yourself that the work chase ends at the next promotion. It does not. It doesn't end when the kids get back to school. It doesn't end when the next sports season is over. It just doesn't end until eventually you say, I'm done chasing. That's when it stops." [24:25] (24 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
6. "All titles and roles are fleeting, except for being a child of God. Life can change in a moment. and take one of those roles from us. So if any of those titles are where you're finding your identity, you're in trouble because that whole sheet of titles is chasing the wind. Church, our identity is found in this moment. It is found in being a child of the one true king. And at the end of the day, it's the one thing we should chase. We don't need anything else." [32:01] (26 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
7. "If you teach your kids, it's okay to miss church and for you also to miss church for three months to go chase this sport, don't be surprised if in 10 years you're back here asking for someone to pray over your now adult kid because for some reason, church just doesn't seem important to them. Why would it be? You taught them to chase something else. If they see you chasing work, they're going to chase. If your expectation for them is to go chase, go be the best shortstop, go be the best middle linebacker, go be the best actor. Go be the best gymnast." [19:57] (38 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
8. "Chasing your identity or chasing work devalues your influence in your home. My father's dad passed away when he was like eight or nine. And then he lived with different family. He didn't have any family members until he bought his first house at 16 or 17. Hardest working man I've ever known in my entire life. Had a good job at GM. Good job at GM. Still worked at night preparing taxes for people. Had two jobs. Didn't need them. Didn't need it. Still chose to work two jobs. Hard work was the language spoken in the household that I grew up in." [14:22] (32 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
9. "So what are you teaching the little ones in your lives? Because no one in our next gen wing can tell them about grace and mercy and forgiveness and rest. You can't even tell them about it. You have to model it for them. You have to show it to them. Solomon writes Ecclesiastes. In the book before Ecclesiastes, Proverbs, he says this about kids, teach a youth the way he should go. And even when he is old, he will not depart from it. The teaching part there is not an option. You are doing it whether you want to or not." [15:41] (37 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
10. "If you tie your self-worth to your career, the successes and failures you experience will directly affect your self-worth. Has anyone ever heard the word enmeshment before? My wife's a therapist, so it's like being married to a word-of-the-day calendar sometimes. I just learn all these big words, and I just kind of nod along and pretend I know what she's saying, and then I'm Googling later to figure out what half of what she said was." [06:04] (25 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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