Channeling Anger: Wisdom and Self-Control in Christ
Summary
Proverbs reminds us that wisdom is not just about what we know, but how we live—especially in how we handle our emotions. In a world that seems to be growing angrier by the day, with rage erupting in our streets, our skies, and even our homes, we are called to a different standard. The wisdom of God tells us that patience and self-control are greater than brute strength or the ability to conquer. Anger, while a God-given emotion, is rarely expressed in a godly way and often leads to destruction when left unchecked.
There is a clear distinction between righteous anger, which aligns with God’s justice and truth, and unrighteous anger, which is rooted in pride and selfishness. Unrighteous anger leads to foolish actions, hurtful words, loss of self-control, and always brings harmful consequences. It damages relationships, weakens our character, and distances us from God’s best for our lives.
But we are not left without hope or help. God has given us His Spirit to empower us to respond differently. The key is to submit our emotions to God, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide our responses rather than our flesh. This means recognizing when something other than Christ is sitting on the throne of our hearts—when a “little g god” is driving our reactions. We must train our minds to avoid situations that trigger our anger, choose our companions wisely, communicate our frustrations with grace, and always count the cost before we speak or act in anger.
Ultimately, anger does not have to control us. It can be channeled for good, bringing out the best in us when surrendered to God. The choice is ours: to let anger rule, or to let Christ rule in our hearts, bringing peace, restoration, and wisdom into every relationship and circumstance.
Key Takeaways
- Unrighteous anger is always destructive, no matter how justified it feels in the moment. It leads to foolish actions, hurtful words, and broken relationships, and it never produces the righteousness God desires. The wisdom of Proverbs warns us repeatedly that unchecked anger only brings harm, both to ourselves and to those around us. [40:06]
- The root of sinful anger is often idolatry—allowing something other than Christ to sit on the throne of our hearts. When our desires, comfort, or pride are threatened, we react in anger because our “little g gods” are not being satisfied. Recognizing this dynamic helps us step back and ask what is truly driving our emotions, and to re-center our hearts on Jesus. [54:00]
- Self-control is not just about bottling up anger or pretending it doesn’t exist; it’s about channeling it through the power of the Holy Spirit. We have a choice in every moment to submit our emotions to God, allowing Him to transform our reactions and use even our anger for good. This abiding life is a daily, moment-by-moment surrender that leads to peace and strength. [49:51]
- The company we keep shapes our character and our responses. Proverbs warns us not to associate closely with those who are quick-tempered, because their patterns will become ours. Choosing friends and influences who model patience and grace helps us grow in wisdom and self-control, and protects us from being ensnared by anger. [57:33]
- Before speaking or acting in anger, it is vital to count the cost. Words spoken in anger can destroy families, friendships, and reputations in an instant, leaving wounds that may never fully heal. Wisdom calls us to pause, consider the consequences, and choose the path that honors God and preserves relationships, even when it means swallowing our pride. [01:01:00]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[13:56] - Father’s Day Blessings and Prayer
[33:21] - VBS Thanks and Church Family Updates
[34:58] - Introduction: A World of Anger
[36:31] - The Rise of Rage in Society
[37:25] - Defining Anger: Righteous vs. Unrighteous
[38:51] - The Dangers of Unrighteous Anger
[40:06] - Proverbs on Anger: Wisdom and Warnings
[41:49] - Sinful Anger: Foolish Actions and Words
[43:05] - The Power of Words in Anger
[45:28] - Losing Control: When Anger Rules
[46:51] - The Consequences of Sinful Anger
[48:01] - Three Ways People Handle Anger
[49:51] - Submitting Emotions to God’s Control
[52:00] - Idolatry and the Throne of the Heart
[55:13] - Practical Steps for Channeling Anger
[57:33] - The Influence of Company
[58:36] - Communicating Anger Wisely
[59:56] - Counting the Cost Before Responding
[01:01:33] - A Personal Story: Choosing Grace Over Anger
[01:04:19] - Final Challenge and Prayer
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: Proverbs and Handling Anger
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### Bible Reading
- Proverbs 16:32
"Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city."
- Colossians 3:1-8
(Especially verses 1-2, 5, and 8: Set your hearts and minds on things above; put to death what belongs to your earthly nature, including anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language.)
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### Observation Questions
1. According to Proverbs 16:32, what is considered greater than being a warrior or conquering a city?
2. In Colossians 3:1-2, what are believers instructed to set their hearts and minds on?
3. The sermon described two types of anger: righteous and unrighteous. What is the main difference between them, according to the pastor? [[38:51]]
4. What are some of the consequences of unrighteous anger mentioned in the sermon? [[46:51]]
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### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does Proverbs value patience and self-control above physical strength or outward success? How does this challenge common ideas about what makes someone strong? [[34:58]]
2. The pastor said that the root of sinful anger is often idolatry—letting something other than Christ sit on the throne of our hearts. What does this mean in practical terms? [[52:00]]
3. How does the Holy Spirit help believers respond differently to anger, according to Colossians 3 and the sermon? [[49:51]]
4. The sermon warns about the influence of the company we keep. How can the people around us shape our responses to anger? [[57:33]]
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### Application Questions
1. The pastor shared that anger is a God-given emotion, but it’s rarely expressed in a godly way. Think about a recent time you were angry. Was your response more like righteous anger or unrighteous anger? What was driving your reaction? [[38:51]]
2. The sermon said that when something other than Christ is on the throne of our hearts, we are more likely to react in anger. Is there a “little g god” (like comfort, control, pride, or something else) that tends to trigger your anger? How can you recognize it sooner next time? [[52:00]]
3. Proverbs warns us to choose our companions wisely. Are there people in your life who tend to fuel your anger or impatience? What steps could you take to limit their influence or to seek out relationships that encourage patience and grace? [[57:33]]
4. The pastor encouraged us to “train our brains to contain” by avoiding situations that trigger our anger. What are some practical triggers for you, and what boundaries or changes could you put in place to avoid them? [[56:13]]
5. Before speaking or acting in anger, the sermon challenged us to “count the cost.” Can you think of a time when angry words or actions damaged a relationship? What would it look like to pause and consider the consequences before responding next time? [[59:56]]
6. The pastor shared a story about choosing grace over anger during a stressful situation. Is there a current situation in your life where you need to choose grace instead of anger? What would it look like to surrender your emotions to God in that moment? [[01:03:28]]
7. The sermon said, “Anger doesn’t have to get the best of you, but it can bring out the best in you.” What is one specific way you can channel your anger for good this week, allowing Christ to rule in your heart? [[01:03:28]]
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Close in prayer, asking God to help each person submit their emotions to Him and to bring peace, restoration, and wisdom into every relationship and circumstance.
Devotional
Day 1: The Power of Patience and Self-Control Over Anger
Patience and self-control are greater strengths than outward displays of power or aggression. In a world where anger often feels justified and even celebrated, true wisdom is found in those who can restrain their tempers and respond with calm. The ability to rule your own spirit, to pause before reacting, and to choose patience over retaliation is a mark of real strength. When you practice self-control, you not only protect your relationships but also honor God by reflecting His character. Consider today how you might choose patience in a situation that would normally provoke you, and remember that God values your restraint more than any victory won in anger. [34:58]
Proverbs 16:32 (ESV)
"Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city."
Reflection: Think of a recent situation where you felt your temper rising—how could you have responded with patience and self-control instead, and what difference might it have made in the outcome?
Day 2: The Destructive Consequences of Unchecked Anger
Sinful anger always leads to harm—damaging words, broken relationships, and regretful actions. When anger is left unchecked, it not only hurts those around us but also erodes our own character and distances us from God’s best for our lives. The Bible warns repeatedly that quick tempers and harsh words stir up strife, cause foolishness, and bring lasting consequences. Take time today to reflect on the cost of angry outbursts in your life and the lives of others, and ask God to help you recognize the warning signs before anger takes control. [41:49]
Proverbs 14:17, 29, 15:1, 15:18, 18:21, 19:19, 25:28, 29:11, 29:22 (ESV)
"Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly." (14:29)
"A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention." (15:18)
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (15:1)
"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruits." (18:21)
"A man of great wrath will pay the penalty, for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again." (19:19)
"A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls." (25:28)
"A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back." (29:11)
"An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man commits many sins." (29:22)
Reflection: Is there a relationship or situation in your life that has been damaged by angry words or actions? What step can you take today to begin repairing that damage?
Day 3: Submitting Your Emotions to God’s Control
Lasting victory over anger comes from daily surrender to the Holy Spirit, allowing Jesus to sit on the throne of your heart. When you let anything other than Christ—whether it’s pride, unmet expectations, or personal desires—take first place in your life, anger and frustration are quick to follow. But when you abide in Christ and submit your emotions to Him, He empowers you to respond with grace instead of rage. Take a moment today to examine what might be sitting on the throne of your heart, and invite Jesus to take His rightful place, trusting Him to help you channel your emotions for His glory. [54:00]
Colossians 3:1-8 (ESV)
"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth."
Reflection: What “little g gods” or idols might be fueling your anger or frustration lately, and how can you intentionally surrender those areas to Jesus today?
Day 4: The Influence of Your Company and the Importance of Wise Communication
The people you surround yourself with and the way you communicate in moments of anger have a profound impact on your spiritual health. If you regularly associate with those who are quick-tempered, their attitudes can easily rub off on you, ensnaring you in patterns of anger. Likewise, learning to guard your lips and communicate your feelings with wisdom—whether in speech or writing—can prevent unnecessary conflict and regret. Today, consider the influence of your closest relationships and the words you choose when upset, and ask God for discernment to build up rather than tear down. [57:33]
Proverbs 22:24-25, 21:23 (ESV)
"Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare." (22:24-25)
"Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble." (21:23)
Reflection: Who in your life most influences your attitude and reactions—are they helping you grow in patience, or fueling your anger? What is one practical way you can communicate more wisely the next time you feel upset?
Day 5: Counting the Cost and Choosing Grace Over Retaliation
Before you respond in anger, pause to consider the lasting consequences—on your family, your testimony, your health, and your witness for Christ. Uncontrolled anger can destroy relationships and opportunities in a moment, but choosing to channel your frustration through God’s grace can turn a potential disaster into a blessing. Remember, anger doesn’t have to get the best of you; with God’s help, it can bring out the best in you. Today, before you react, ask yourself: Is it worth it? Choose to respond with wisdom and grace, trusting God to use even your frustrations for good. [01:01:00]
James 1:19-20 (ESV)
"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."
Reflection: The next time you feel provoked, will you pause to count the cost before responding? What would it look like for you to choose grace instead of retaliation in that moment?
Quotes
Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes the city. Let's be honest. We are in a world of hurt with the amount of frustration that goes on and the amount of anger that's displayed in our country. And while anger is a legitimate emotion, it's never good when it's out of control. [00:35:24] (22 seconds)
Anger is a strong emotional response to a perceived threat, injustice, frustration, or hurt that ranges from a mild irritation to an out-of-control, intense rage. And most often, it arises when a person feels like someone or something has wronged them or violated their boundaries. [00:37:49] (21 seconds)
Righteous anger, we get angry about the things that God gets angry about. Unrighteous anger, we get angry about the things that frustrate us. The difference in how we respond. In righteous anger, we're slow to respond, whereas in unrighteous anger, we're quick. The result is, instead of restoration and help, we have destruction and harm. [00:38:46] (24 seconds)
It's not just what you say, it's also the tone in which you say it. And most people, we get ourselves in trouble with our tone, not just with our words. See, more if or not, it's not our actions that get us in trouble when we're angry, it's our words, and angry words when we spout off. [00:42:41] (24 seconds)
Before you speak, think. Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? And maybe most importantly, is it kind? We need to think about what we say before we say it because of the impact that it can have. [00:44:00] (19 seconds)
Behavior is always communication. Words might not be communication. Behavior is always communication. And so when someone gets angry and they blow up, they're communicating that there's something on the throne of their life that doesn't belong there because it's not Jesus. [00:54:07] (19 seconds)
If watching the Atlanta Braves or watching the Atlanta Falcons or watching the Georgia Bulldogs or the Bullpups or watching the Yellow Jackets, if when they start losing or do something stupid, you start getting angry, then stop watching them. Hello? I mean, you don't get near as angry when you look at it in the box score than you do when you watch it. So don't put yourself in those situations where you know that you're going to be angry. [00:56:41] (35 seconds)
Nothing destroys relationships faster than uncontrolled anger. And so when we realize there's a price to be paid when returning anger for anger, we're less likely to get angry when people push our buttons. [01:00:36] (17 seconds)
Anger doesn't have to get the best of you, but it can bring out the best in you. Anger does not have to get the best of you, but it can bring out the best in you. It all depends on how you channel it. You can channel it through the grace of God, or you can bottle it and spew it through your flesh. That's your option. [01:04:13] (24 seconds)
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