Games We Play // The Change Game

Mar 09, 2026

Devotional

Day 1: The Danger of a Critical Spirit

We are remarkably skilled at identifying the changes we believe others need to make. This tendency often surfaces in our closest relationships, where we feel justified in offering "helpful" correction. However, this approach, even when our information is correct, can damage the relationship. Winning the argument often means losing connection. The critical spirit focuses on being right rather than being compassionate. [03:55]

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:1-2, NIV)

Reflection: Think of a recent situation where you felt the urge to correct someone. In that moment, were you more motivated by a desire to be right or by a genuine compassion for the other person?

Day 2: Judging Actions vs. Judging Intentions

We often fall into the trap of judging others by their actions while judging ourselves by our intentions. We might label someone else as rude, while justifying our own behavior as simply being tired. We see others as controlling, while we are just being responsible. This double standard creates a plank in our own eye, blinding us to our own shortcomings and fueling a judgmental attitude. [11:05]

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3-4, NIV)

Reflection: Where have you recently excused your own behavior based on your good intentions, while being critical of someone else for a similar action?

Day 3: The Mirror of Self-Examination

The tool we are called to pick up first is not the magnifying glass for others, but the mirror for ourselves. This mirror is the truth of Scripture, which provides an honest reflection of our own heart before God. It forces self-examination and accountability, not in comparison to others, but in light of God’s holiness. This practice removes any illusion of moral high ground. [15:11]

“Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.” (James 1:23-24, NIV)

Reflection: What is one area of your life where God’s word is currently acting as a mirror, revealing something He wants to address within you before you address anyone else?

Day 4: From Prosecution to Compassionate Care

The goal of self-examination is not to wallow in guilt but to cultivate compassion. The more aware we are of what God is still doing in us, the less judgmental we become about what He has yet to do in others. This shifts our posture from that of a prosecutor to a fellow patient who has found a good physician. Our correction is then born out of care, not condemnation. [17:37]

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1, NIV)

Reflection: How might approaching a friend’s struggle with a humble acknowledgment of your own need for grace change the tone of that conversation?

Day 5: Modeling Repentance Before Seeking Change

True influence is not gained by winning arguments but by modeling repentance and humility. The change game says, "They need to go first." Jesus says, "You go first." This means pausing before we speak, text, or post, choosing to leave one critical comment unsaid, and asking what God is fixing in us. This is how we create space for real, grace-filled change. [19:36]

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24, NIV)

Reflection: What is one practical step you can take this week to “go first” in an area where you have been waiting for someone else to change?

Sermon Summary

The change game examines how people try to force change in others and how the teaching of Jesus turns that instinct on its head. Cultural habits of quick critique and online commentary reveal a readiness to magnify other people’s faults while minimizing personal shortcomings. Matthew’s account of the Sermon on the Mount reframes judgment: discernment remains necessary, but condemning others from a posture of superiority undermines relationship and moral credibility. The speck-and-plank image insists on a reversal of order — remove the plank from one’s own life first, then compassionately help another with a speck. Repentance precedes confrontation; humility precedes influence.

Practical metaphors steer the application. A magnifying glass represents a critical eye that enlarges tone and mistake, making correction punitive and performative. A mirror represents scripture and honest self-examination that forces accountability and clarifies how far short people still fall from God’s holiness. The mirror softens approach, turning correction into care and transforming a prosecutor’s posture into that of a fellow patient who has found a physician. Influence grows not from winning arguments but from modeling repentance and extending help with empathy.

Routine practices reshape daily life: pause before firing off a text, post, or critical remark; let time and self-reflection temper the urge to correct; intentionally leave at least one critical comment unsaid. Questions shift from “What should they fix?” to “What is God trying to fix in me?” The work of grace moves inward first, and that inward work produces credible, humble engagement with others. Final application calls for less spectacle and more solidarity—approach correction with care, humility, and scriptural honesty so that relationships deepen rather than fracture.

Key Takeaways

1. Repent before offering correction to others Repentance must precede confrontation because humility restores sight. When self-examination uncovers the plank, motives align with compassion rather than scorekeeping, and correction flows from care not condemnation. This order preserves relationship and creates space for genuine transformation in both parties. [12:38]
2. Choose the mirror over magnifying glass The mirror of Scripture forces honesty about personal sin and limits any illusion of moral high ground. Regular self-reflection reduces the urge to enlarge another’s faults and replaces accusation with empathy. The more one sees God’s work within, the more helpful and gentle external correction becomes. [15:11]
3. Discern without arrogant, condemning judgment Jesus allows evaluation but forbids condemning superiority; discernment that lacks compassion damages souls. True discernment tests fruit while maintaining humility, recognizing that truth without grace becomes cruelty. Corrective words must issue from a posture of shared need rather than assumed perfection. [07:08]
4. Pause before making public corrections Delay softens reaction, prevents escalation, and lets repentance shape response rather than impulse. A twenty-four-hour pause or leaving one critical comment unsaid creates space for prayer, perspective, and kinder action. Public platforms magnify harm; restraint preserves dignity and relationship. [19:53]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:38] - Google reviews and human critique
[01:48] - Introducing the change game
[03:10] - Instant pudding anecdote: correction at home
[06:08] - "Do not judge" clarified
[09:39] - Speck and plank: order of correction
[13:09] - Magnifying glass vs. mirror
[19:53] - Pause, practical application
[22:31] - Closing prayer and charge

Bible Study Guide

Bible reading: Matthew 7:1-5 (ESV)
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

Observation questions

According to these verses, what is the direct consequence of the type of judgment we use on others?
What two contrasting objects does Jesus use to describe the faults we see in others versus the faults in ourselves?
What specific, practical advice is given in the sermon for when you feel the urge to correct someone? [19:53]
What is the correct order of operations Jesus gives for helping someone with a fault in their life?

Interpretation questions

Jesus says that after removing the log from your own eye, you will "see clearly" to help your brother. What does "see clearly" mean in this context? Does it mean you become morally perfect, or does it change your perspective and approach?
The command "do not judge" is often used to mean we should never make any moral evaluations. How does the rest of the passage, including the instruction to eventually help with the "speck," clarify what Jesus is actually forbidding?
The sermon suggests we often judge others by their actions but judge ourselves by our intentions. [11:05] How does this double standard make it difficult to follow Jesus's command in this passage?
What is the difference between using discernment (which is allowed) and exercising condemning judgment (which is forbidden)?

Application questions

Repentance must come before confrontation. [12:38] Is there a situation in your life right now where you feel the need to correct or confront someone? What "plank" might God be asking you to address in your own life first before you say a word to them?
The mirror of Scripture forces honesty about personal sin. [15:11] This week, when you read the Bible, what is one question you could ask to turn it from a magnifying glass for others into a mirror for yourself?
This week, make a conscious effort to leave at least one critical comment unsaid. [20:59] What specific relationship or context (e.g., home, work, social media) will be the most challenging for you to practice this pause, and what will you do in that moment of urge instead of speaking?
The more aware we are of what God has yet to do in us, the less judgmental we are about what He has yet to do in others. [16:01] How can regularly reminding yourself of your own need for grace change the tone of your conversations about people who struggle differently than you?
We are called to be fellow patients who have found a physician, not prosecutors. [17:57] How would adopting this "fellow patient" identity change the way you approach a Christian brother or sister caught in a sin?
Instead of asking "What should they fix?" we are to ask "What is God trying to fix in me?" [19:36] What is one area God has been persistently highlighting in your life that requires your cooperation with His Spirit?

Sermon Clips

45s

“That's kinda harsh, I would think. And Jesus says this about somebody that thinks like that. You hypocrite. Speck meet plank. He says, first, take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. He doesn't say to ignore the speck. He says to fix the order. Looking at yourself, correcting yourself, that comes first. Repentance comes before confrontation. Humility comes before influence. The change game says, they go first. Jesus says, you go first.”

from 00:12:26

#PlankBeforeSpeck

38s

“So you don't gain authority by winning arguments, you gain it by modeling repentance. So this week, instead of asking what do they need to fix, ask what's God trying to fix in me? And instead of saying they need to go first, say, I'll go first. And when you feel the urge to correct, pause for just a minute. Before you send the text, before you post the comment on social media, before you make the remark, pause. Take a look in the mirror.”

from 00:19:26

#ModelRepentance

38s

“The more I recognize how much God's done in me, the more helpful I'm gonna be when I'm trying to help somebody else. The mirror removes any illusion of high ground. Jesus isn't saying throw away the magnifier forever. He's saying put it down until you've picked up the mirror. The mirror softens your tone, changes your posture or your approach, and it turns correction into care. You become less of a prosecutor and more of a fellow patient who's found a physician. And that's the approach that we should be taking.”

from 00:17:37

#CorrectionWithCare

38s

“So in your relationship, I would encourage you especially if you're married or you're with somebody a lot that you care about, just leave one critical comment a day left unsaid. I'm sure there's other things that you could think of, but you don't have to say them all. You don't have to say all the things that come to your mind. And ask yourself, have I examined my own heart? Have I picked up the mirror? You don't stop caring about the speck that's in somebody's eye. You just start caring differently. I love that. And that is where real change begins.”

from 00:21:00

#SkipOneCriticism

35s

“And the gap, if we're not careful, we'll be looking backward and say, hey, you, look how far we've come. We are so much better at this than you are and not recognize how far we are yet to go in our relationship with him. And that's what the mirror does for us. It gives us compassion. Doesn't leave out the speck, but it helps us take care of the plank before we get to the speck. And the more honest I am with the mirror, the more helpful I'm gonna be with the magnifier.”

from 00:17:01

#MirrorBuildsCompassion

30s

“So he's not saying not to evaluate things, not to use discernment. He's not condemning moral conviction. What he's doing is condemning arrogant condemnation. And that's what we're gonna talk about a little bit about what that arrogant condemnation looks like. And so there's a difference. To judge is to be critical before you're compassionate. And you can be right in content and wrong in spirit.”

from 00:07:19

#DiscernNotCondemn

40s

“And we typically use a magnifying glass on others. And the thing about a magnifying glass is we use it to enlarge their tone, to make it bigger than what they really mean to exaggerate what they're saying so that gives us an opportunity maybe to point out some other things. We use it we use it to amplify their mistakes, and we also use it to confirm that we're right. The thing about holding on to a magnifying glass and using it often, you get into a habit. You're more inclined to judge, and you're less inclined toward compassion.”

from 00:13:41

#DropTheMagnifier

35s

“I really do enjoy using magnifying glass, but I'll tell you this. If I held on to the magnifying glass, I would be magnifying everything that I see in front of me. And to a hammer, everything looks like a nail. You know? So you're I'm running around with this thing and I am pointing out stuff that I see in other people's lives. Compassion on the other hand would say that we are going to or let me let me just say this before we get into the next device we use. Our heart should break for people before our minds judge them.”

from 00:14:21

#HeartBeforeJudgment

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Games We Play // The Change Game

Devotional

Day 1: The Danger of a Critical Spirit

Day 2: Judging Actions vs. Judging Intentions

Day 3: The Mirror of Self-Examination

Day 4: From Prosecution to Compassionate Care

Day 5: Modeling Repentance Before Seeking Change

Sermon Summary

Key Takeaways

Youtube Chapters

Bible Study Guide

Sermon Clips

Games We Play // The Change Game

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