Challenging Self-Righteousness: Embracing God's Transformative Love

Summary

In Luke 15, Jesus tells three parables—the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the lost son—not primarily to comfort the wayward, but to challenge the hearts of the religious. The context is clear: Jesus is surrounded by those considered outsiders, “tax collectors and sinners,” while the religious leaders grumble about His willingness to share life and meals with such people. The stories are not just about God’s love for the lost, but a direct response to the self-righteousness and exclusion of those who believe themselves to be “in.” The progression from one lost sheep out of a hundred, to one lost coin out of ten, to one lost son out of two, highlights the increasing intimacy and value of what is lost, and the depth of the Father’s love.

The focus then shifts to the older brother, who represents the religious insiders. He is outwardly obedient, but his relationship with the Father is transactional, not relational. He serves, but not out of love; he distances himself from his brother, referring to him as “your son,” and resents the grace shown to the repentant. The Father’s response is gentle and relational, reminding the older son that everything He has is already his, but that the return of the lost is cause for celebration. The story ends without revealing the older brother’s response, leaving the religious listener to wrestle with their own heart.

Jesus’ challenge is not just to avoid the sins of the younger brother, but to beware the bitterness and self-righteousness of the older. The call is to see others—even those we most dislike or who have hurt us deeply—through the eyes of the Father, who values every lost person and rejoices at their return. This is not a call to ignore sin, but to love as God loves, to reach out not for reward or duty, but because our hearts have been softened by grace. Only God can give us this heart, and we must continually surrender to His transforming power, admitting our inability and trusting Him to change us from the inside out.

Key Takeaways

- The Parables Target the Religious Heart
The stories of the lost sheep, coin, and son are not primarily aimed at the “lost,” but at those who consider themselves found. Jesus addresses the religious leaders’ discomfort with His grace toward outsiders, exposing the subtle pride and exclusion that can grow in the hearts of the faithful. The challenge is to recognize when our own hearts have become hardened or transactional in our relationship with God. [02:15]

- Relational vs. Contractual Faithfulness
The older brother’s obedience is rooted in duty and expectation of reward, not in love for the Father. This exposes a danger for those who serve God out of obligation or self-interest, rather than genuine relationship. True faithfulness flows from delight in the Father, not from a desire to earn His favor or outdo others. [06:50]

- God’s Joy in Restoration Surpasses Our Calculations
The Father’s joy at the return of the lost son is not a slight to the faithful, but a celebration of restoration. God’s heart is moved with special joy when the seemingly hopeless are restored, not because He loves the faithful less, but because the risk of loss was so great. We are invited to share in this joy, rather than resent it, recognizing that God’s grace is abundant and not a zero-sum game. [12:20]

- Seeing Others Through the Father’s Eyes
We are called to view even those we most dislike or who have wronged us as God does: as lost sons and daughters of great value. This does not minimize their sin, but it compels us to hope and pray for their restoration, rather than write them off. The Father’s pursuit is relentless, and we are invited to join Him in loving the lost, even when it is costly or uncomfortable. [16:00]

- Transformation Is God’s Work, Not Ours
The ability to love as the Father loves is not something we can muster on our own. Like the older brother, we are powerless to change our hearts by sheer willpower. But God, in His grace, offers to do in us what we cannot do ourselves—softening our hearts, healing our wounds, and enabling us to love beyond our natural limits. Our part is to surrender and trust Him to do this work in us. [20:18]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[01:20] - The Context: Why Jesus Told These Parables
[02:15] - The Real Audience: Religious Insiders
[03:14] - The Escalating Value of the Lost
[04:05] - The Older Brother’s Reaction
[06:50] - Contractual vs. Relational Obedience
[08:13] - The Heart Behind Resentment
[10:15] - The Father’s Gentle Response
[11:19] - The Unfinished Ending: Our Response
[12:20] - God’s Joy in Restoration
[13:42] - The Challenge: Loving the Unlovable
[15:15] - Seeing the Lost in Our World
[16:00] - The Father’s Pursuit of All
[17:49] - Loving as the Father Loves
[18:23] - The Danger of Bitterness
[20:18] - Surrendering to God’s Transforming Power
[21:17] - Closing Prayer

Study Guide

Small Group Bible Study Guide: The Lost Parables and the Heart of the Father

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### Bible Reading

- Luke 15:1-32 (The parables of the lost sheep, lost coin, and lost son)

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### Observation Questions

1. Who was present when Jesus told the parables in Luke 15, and what was the attitude of the religious leaders toward Jesus’ actions? [[01:20]]
2. In the story of the lost son, how does the older brother respond when he hears about the celebration for his younger brother’s return? [[04:05]]
3. What words does the older brother use to describe his relationship with his father, and what does this reveal about his heart? [[06:50]]
4. How does the father respond to both the younger and older sons in the parable? [[10:15]]

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### Interpretation Questions

1. Why does Jesus focus so much on the older brother at the end of the parable? What is He trying to show the religious leaders and those who consider themselves “insiders”? [[11:19]]
2. What is the difference between serving God out of a “contract” (duty or reward) and serving Him out of relationship and love? How does this difference show up in the older brother’s words and actions? [[06:50]]
3. The father’s joy at the return of the lost son is described as a celebration, not a slight to the faithful. Why do you think God’s heart is especially moved when someone who is “lost” is restored? [[12:20]]
4. Jesus leaves the story open-ended, not telling us how the older brother responds. Why do you think He does this, and what does it invite the listener to consider about their own heart? [[11:19]]

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### Application Questions

1. The sermon pointed out that the parables are aimed at challenging the hearts of the religious, not just comforting the lost. Have you ever found yourself feeling like the “older brother”—resentful or bitter when someone you think doesn’t deserve it receives grace or forgiveness? What was that situation, and how did you respond? [[06:50]]
2. The older brother’s relationship with his father was transactional, not relational. Are there areas in your faith where you find yourself serving God more out of duty or expectation of reward than out of love? What would it look like to shift toward a more relational approach? [[06:50]]
3. The father sees even those who have hurt us or whom we dislike as lost sons and daughters of great value. Is there someone in your life right now who is hard for you to see through the Father’s eyes? What would it look like to pray for or reach out to them this week? [[16:00]]
4. The sermon mentioned that God’s joy in restoration is not a zero-sum game. Have you ever felt like someone else’s blessing or restoration took something away from you? How can you learn to celebrate God’s grace in others’ lives without feeling threatened or overlooked? [[12:20]]
5. The call is to love as God loves, not by ignoring sin, but by hoping and praying for restoration. How do you balance truth and grace when dealing with people who have hurt you or are far from God? [[17:49]]
6. The pastor said that only God can give us a heart like the Father’s, and we must surrender to His transforming power. What is one area of your heart that you need God to soften or change? How can you invite Him to do that this week? [[20:18]]
7. The story ends without telling us what the older brother does. If you were in his shoes, what would you want your response to be? What step can you take this week to move toward that kind of response in your own life? [[11:19]]

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Devotional

Day 1: God’s Joy in Restoring the Lost
God’s heart overflows with joy when even one lost person repents and returns to Him, no matter how far they have wandered. The parables of the lost sheep, coin, and son reveal a God who actively seeks out the lost, not waiting for them to find their way back but pursuing them with relentless love. This joy is not reserved for the “good” or the “faithful,” but is especially profound when someone who seemed hopeless finds their way home. The celebration in heaven is not about the worthiness of the lost, but about the Father’s love and the restoration of relationship. As you consider your own journey, remember that God’s joy is not diminished by your failures; He rejoices over you when you turn to Him. [13:42]

Luke 15:1-7 (ESV)
Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.” So he told them this parable: “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.”

Reflection: Who in your life do you see as “too far gone” for God’s grace? How might you begin to pray for them and see them through the eyes of the Father today?


Day 2: The Danger of a Contractual Faith
A faith that is based on duty and contract, rather than relationship and love, leads to bitterness and resentment, as seen in the older brother’s response to his father’s grace. The older son in the parable did everything “right” outwardly, but his heart was far from his father—he obeyed out of obligation, not love, and resented the grace shown to his brother. This attitude can creep into our own lives when we serve God for what we hope to get, rather than out of joy in being with Him. The Father’s invitation is to move from a transactional relationship to a transformational one, where love, not duty, is the motivation. [06:50]

Luke 15:25-32 (ESV)
“Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.’ But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’”

Reflection: In what ways do you find yourself serving God out of obligation or expectation of reward, rather than out of love? What would it look like to shift your motivation today?


Day 3: Loving the Lost as the Father Does
We are called to see and love the lost—not just the “easy” cases, but even those we struggle to understand or forgive—with the same compassion and hope as the Father. God’s love is not limited by our biases or the severity of someone’s sin; He values each person deeply, regardless of their past or present. This includes public figures we may dislike, as well as those who have hurt us personally. The challenge is to let God soften our hearts so that we see others not as enemies or outsiders, but as beloved children whom the Father longs to restore. [17:49]

Matthew 5:43-45 (ESV)
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”

Reflection: Who is one person—public or personal—you struggle to see as valuable to God? Will you ask God to help you see them through His eyes and pray for them today?


Day 4: The Power to Change Comes from God
We cannot love the lost or live righteously in our own strength; it is only by God’s power and grace that our hearts are transformed to reflect His. Recognizing our own inability is the first step to real change—admitting that we need God to do in us what we cannot do ourselves. As we surrender to Him, He gives us the power to overcome bitterness, self-righteousness, and the barriers that keep us from loving others. This is not a one-time event, but a continual process of turning our will over to God and allowing Him to shape us into people who love as He loves. [20:18]

Philippians 2:12-13 (ESV)
Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Reflection: What is one area where you feel powerless to change your attitude or actions toward others? Will you invite God today to work in you and give you His heart?


Day 5: Celebrating Restoration, Not Resenting Grace
The Father’s invitation is to join in the celebration when the lost are found, rather than standing outside in resentment or judgment. The parables end with an open question: will we, like the older brother, refuse to enter into the joy of God’s grace, or will we let go of our pride and join the party? God’s grace does not diminish what He has given us; instead, it multiplies joy as more are restored to the family. The challenge is to let go of comparison and entitlement, and to rejoice wholeheartedly when anyone—no matter their story—returns to God. [10:15]

Romans 12:15-16 (ESV)
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.

Reflection: Is there someone whose restoration or blessing you have struggled to celebrate? How can you take a step today to rejoice with them and share in God’s joy?

Quotes

But the older son, he's out working. And so he comes back. Now, the fact that they killed a fattened calf, you know, we just think a couple steaks, put the rest in the freezer, right? There ain't no freezers. There ain't no refrigerator. If you've killed a whole calf, you've invited the whole town to eat because that meat's going to be no good in a day. So this is a feast. This is call my neighbors, call my friends kind of party. [00:05:04] (00:00:24 seconds) Edit Clip

First of all, notice that what he's been doing for his father is contractual. That's how he's saying it. I've been saving for you. I've never disobeyed your orders. It's not relational. It's not I love you, dad. It's not I love you, father. It's I've been obeying the contract. I should get something because I'm fulfilling the contract. It's contractual, not relational. [00:07:31] (00:00:28 seconds) Edit Clip

The interesting thing is, God, just like you, sees their sins. Matter of fact, He sees the true them, which in some ways is better than you think, in a lot of ways worse than you think. But when He sees them, He sees a lost sheep, a lost coin, a lost son or daughter. That's what He sees. [00:15:22] (00:00:23 seconds) Edit Clip

But fundamentally, He's got the Father's heart and the Father is going to go look for the one. He's pursuing each one of these people. Fundamentally, they have value to the Father. They have value and they're just as valuable as I am to Him, as Billy Graham is to Him, as to Mother Teresa is to Him, as the Apostle Paul is to Him. They're just as valuable. And so He's going to search. He's going to make sure the light shines. He sees, again, how far they are from Him. But He has the Father's heart. He is waiting and is hoping and is working towards their repentance. And if and when they do, there will be great rejoicing in heaven. [00:16:00] (00:00:57 seconds) Edit Clip

But we are invited ultimately to see them the way God sees them. We are called to love the lost as the Father does. This is why we reach out. We don't just reach out because the Bible says so. It does. We don't just reach out because...Jesus did that. He did. But if you only do the right thing like the older brother, because it's the right thing and you want your reward, you will develop the same bitterness that the older brother did. And ultimately, you will be no better than the younger brother. Because you won't be doing it out of your love for and your joy of and your thankfulness to the Father. You'll be doing it out of trying to get something. [00:17:54] (00:00:56 seconds) Edit Clip

We outreach because in time, we submit our hearts and our lives to God and He begins to soften our hearts. And rather than seeing people left and right, rather than seeing people as good or bad, rather than seeing people as evil or us, us or them, black or white, male or female, conservative or liberal, east or west, we begin to see all people as ourselves, lost people. [00:18:52] (00:00:36 seconds) Edit Clip

And we see their sin just like we see our own, a symptom of fallenness, a symptom of self, and that the only answer is God's love, not a change of political opinion, not that they suddenly wake up and figure out, I'm right and they're wrong, but figuring out that God loves them, and that becomes our motivation because that is the Father's motivation. Love the lost as the Father loves the lost. [00:19:32] (00:00:38 seconds) Edit Clip

Let me just say clearly, I believe you cannot do this. Just like I believe you cannot live a righteous life. But that's the good news. That's what we talked about in The Power to Change. You realize I'm powerless. You admit there's a power greater than yourself, and then you turn your will over to God who has the power to change you. First, He has the power to do in you the things that you could not do. [00:20:11] (00:00:27 seconds) Edit Clip

I'm just like that list of people up there that you have a turning stomach thing. There are aspects of my life, there are thoughts that go on in my head that are just like them, sometimes worse. But God, by His grace, has given me the power to slowly, not completely, overcome those things. And then He also has the power to begin to change my heart. And rather than seeing myself as a victim, rather than seeing other people through the lens of how do they line up with my agenda, He can change my heart, He can change your heart, so we begin to see them through the Father's eyes. [00:20:39] (00:00:33 seconds) Edit Clip