I Can Relate Sermon Ai 10/26/25, Hilary Harris

Devotional

Day 1: Friendship as Covenant: Choosing Unity Over Offense

True friendship is rooted in covenant—a deliberate, ongoing choice to pursue unity, restoration, and connection, even when hurt or offense arises. In a world quick to cancel and discard, God calls us to a higher standard: to love at all times, to go to war for one another, and to refuse to let offense or misunderstanding sever the bonds He has given us. This kind of friendship is not based on fleeting feelings or convenience, but on a deep commitment to stand together, forgive, and seek reconciliation, reflecting the heart of Christ to the world. [13:39]

Proverbs 17:17 (ESV)
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Reflection: Is there a friendship in your life where you need to choose unity and restoration over holding onto an old hurt or offense? What step could you take today to move toward reconciliation?

Day 2: Confronting and Covering: Handling Offense God’s Way

When offense or sin arises between friends, God gives us a clear, loving blueprint for resolution: go privately, speak honestly, and seek restoration. If that doesn’t work, involve trusted others, and if needed, bring it under spiritual leadership—not to shame, but to cover, heal, and protect. This process is not about winning arguments but about winning hearts, choosing love over drama, and keeping the door open for future reconciliation, so that the church becomes a place of safety, healing, and unity. [20:13]

Matthew 18:15-17 (ESV)
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”

Reflection: Who do you need to approach privately and honestly about an offense, trusting God’s process for healing and restoration? How can you do this in a spirit of love this week?

Day 3: Calling Out the Gold: Encouraging the Potential in Others

Godly friendship means seeing and calling out the God-given potential in each other, especially when life’s circumstances have buried hope or confidence. Like Jonathan with David, true friends remind each other of their identity and destiny, speaking life and encouragement when the wilderness feels overwhelming. Instead of focusing on faults or failures, choose to clothe your friends with affirmation, honor, and hope, helping them remember who they are in Christ and what God has called them to be. [26:39]

1 Samuel 23:16-18 (ESV)
And Jonathan, Saul’s son, rose and went to David at Horesh, and strengthened his hand in God. And he said to him, “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you. Saul my father also knows this.” And the two of them made a covenant before the Lord. David remained at Horesh, and Jonathan went home.

Reflection: Who in your life needs to be reminded of their God-given potential? How can you intentionally speak encouragement and affirmation to them today?

Day 4: The Power of Community: We Are Not Meant to Walk Alone

God designed us for community, not isolation; when we fall, we need others to help us up, to keep us warm, to defend us, and to stand with us in adversity. The strength of godly friendship and community is a gift that sustains us through life’s challenges, and when we choose to reach out—whether to ask for help or to offer it—we experience the beauty and power of the body of Christ. Don’t let hurt or pride keep you from the support and love God wants to give you through others. [32:09]

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (ESV)
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Reflection: Are you isolating yourself in any area of your life? What is one practical way you can reach out for support or offer it to someone else this week?

Day 5: Forgiveness and Compassion: Clothing Ourselves in Christ’s Love

As God’s chosen people, we are called to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with and forgiving one another as Christ has forgiven us. Love is the bond that holds us together in perfect unity, and when we choose to forgive and cover each other’s faults, we reflect the heart of Jesus to the world. Let us be a people who choose to forgive, to put on love, and to let the world marvel at how we love one another. [20:13]

Colossians 3:12-14 (ESV)
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Reflection: Is there someone you need to forgive or show compassion to today? What would it look like to “put on love” in your interactions with them?

Sermon Summary

Friendship is a gift from God, designed to help us flourish and become the people He’s called us to be. Yet, for many, friendship is a source of pain, disappointment, or even trauma. God cares deeply about these wounds and desires to heal them, freeing us from anything that would hold us back from His best. In a world experiencing a “friendship recession,” where vulnerability is often replaced by self-protection and online-only connections, we are called to something deeper and richer: covenant friendship rooted in God’s love.

The story of Jonathan and David offers a powerful blueprint for stewarding friendships well. Despite every reason for rivalry and offense—Jonathan being the son of the king David was anointed to replace—their relationship was marked by repeated covenant, loyalty, and a refusal to let jealousy or hurt take root. Covenant in friendship means choosing unity and restoration again and again, even when it’s uncomfortable or costly. It’s a decision, not a feeling, to love and stand by one another through adversity.

Jesus gives us a clear process for handling offense: go privately, seek reconciliation, involve others if needed, and ultimately bring it under spiritual covering. This is not about canceling people or airing grievances publicly, but about protecting unity and healing wounds. Kingdom culture is not cancel culture; it’s a culture that covers, confronts in love, and always leaves the door open for restoration.

True friends call out the gold in each other, especially in seasons of wilderness and pain. Like Jonathan did for David, we are to remind our friends of their God-given identity and potential, even when they can’t see it themselves. This is not just about encouragement, but about prophetic advocacy—standing with one another in the darkest moments and declaring God’s promises over each other’s lives.

The church is meant to be a wonder to the world, a place where love, unity, and sacrificial friendship are so evident that outsiders marvel at how we care for one another. This is possible when we choose covenant, confront and cover in love, and call out the best in each other. If you find yourself in the wilderness, don’t wait for others to come to you—reach out, ask for help, and let the body of Christ surround you. Together, we become a cord of three strands that is not easily broken.

Key Takeaways

1. God Heals the Wounds of Friendship Many carry deep hurts from past friendships, but God desires to heal these wounds so nothing holds us back from His purposes. True healing often begins when we open our hearts to Him, allowing Him to touch the places we’ve kept hidden or calloused. The willingness to be vulnerable before God is the first step toward restored relationships and renewed hope. [01:26]
2. Covenant is the Foundation of Godly Friendship Biblical friendship is not casual or disposable; it’s rooted in covenant—a deliberate, ongoing choice to love, forgive, and pursue unity, even when offense or jealousy arises. Like Jonathan and David, we must choose each other again and again, refusing to let hurt or comparison sever the bond God has given. Covenant friendship is a decision to fight for one another, not against each other. [13:04]
3. Kingdom Culture Confronts and Covers, Not Cancels When offense happens, Jesus calls us to address it privately, seek reconciliation, and involve spiritual covering if needed. This process protects unity and prevents division from festering. Unlike the world’s cancel culture, the kingdom way is to cover one another in love, confront with wisdom, and always leave the door open for restoration. [15:04]
4. Call Out the Gold in Your Friends, Especially in Their Wilderness True friends don’t just sympathize; they prophetically remind each other of their God-given identity and destiny, especially when life’s circumstances have buried hope. Like Jonathan with David, we are called to seek out our friends in their lowest moments, speak life over them, and celebrate their victories as our own. This kind of advocacy transforms both individuals and communities. [24:15]
5. The Church is Meant to Be a Wonder to the World Through Its Friendships When we steward friendships with covenant, confrontation in love, and prophetic encouragement, the world takes notice. The church becomes a place where love is tangible, unity is protected, and people are drawn in by the beauty of sacrificial friendship. This is how we reflect Jesus to a watching world—by loving one another so deeply that others marvel, “See how they love each other.” [33:01]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[01:26] - God Heals Friendship Wounds
[03:26] - The Friendship Recession
[05:58] - Biblical Wisdom on Friendship
[07:16] - The Mature Response to Hurt
[08:26] - Jonathan and David: A Blueprint
[10:48] - Covenant Friendship Explained
[13:04] - Choosing Unity Over Offense
[15:04] - Jesus’ Blueprint for Handling Offense
[17:10] - Confronting and Covering in Love
[20:13] - Forgiveness and Kingdom Culture
[22:17] - Jonathan Finds David in the Wilderness
[24:15] - Calling Out the Gold in Others
[27:58] - A Modern Story of Friendship in the Wilderness
[31:14] - Jesus, the Ultimate Friend
[32:26] - Reaching Out from the Wilderness
[33:01] - The Church as a Wonder to the World
[34:08] - Invitation to Join God’s Family
[35:32] - Freedom from Offense and Dismissal

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

1 Samuel 18:1-4 (ESV) — > As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.

1 Samuel 23:15-18 (ESV) — > David saw that Saul had come out to seek his life. David was in the wilderness of Ziph at Horesh. And Jonathan, Saul’s son, rose and went to David at Horesh, and strengthened his hand in God. And he said to him, “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you. Saul my father also knows this.” And the two of them made a covenant before the Lord. David remained at Horesh, and Jonathan went home.

Matthew 18:15-17 (ESV) — > “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”

Observation Questions

What actions did Jonathan take to show his commitment to David when they first became friends? (1 Samuel 18:1-4)
In the wilderness, how did Jonathan encourage David, and what did he remind him of? (1 Samuel 23:15-18)
According to Matthew 18:15-17, what is the step-by-step process Jesus gives for handling offense between believers?
The sermon mentions that Jonathan and David made a covenant three times. Why was it necessary for them to renew their covenant repeatedly? [12:33]

Interpretation Questions

Why might the idea of “covenant” in friendship feel uncomfortable or foreign to us today, and what does the story of Jonathan and David teach about the depth of biblical friendship? [11:26]
How does the process Jesus gives in Matthew 18 differ from how conflict is usually handled in our culture or even in churches? What is the goal of this process? [15:04]
When Jonathan finds David in the wilderness, he calls out David’s God-given identity and destiny. Why is it important for friends to remind each other of their calling, especially in hard times? [24:15]
The sermon says, “Kingdom culture is not cancel culture.” What does it mean to “cover and confront in love” instead of canceling someone? [14:20]

Application Questions

The sermon began by acknowledging that many people carry wounds from past friendships. Are there any old hurts or disappointments in friendship that you are still carrying? What would it look like to invite God to heal those places? [01:26]
Covenant friendship means choosing unity and restoration, even when it’s uncomfortable. Is there a friendship in your life where you need to make a deliberate choice to pursue unity or forgiveness, rather than letting offense or distance grow? [13:04]
Jesus’ process for handling offense starts with going privately to the person. Think of a recent conflict or misunderstanding—did you follow this process? If not, what held you back? How could you approach it differently next time? [15:04]
The story of Jonathan and David shows friends calling out the gold in each other, especially in the wilderness. Who in your life might need encouragement or a reminder of their God-given identity right now? How could you reach out to them this week? [24:15]
The sermon challenged us not to wait for others to come find us in our wilderness, but to reach out for help. Is there an area where you feel isolated or stuck? What would it look like to ask for support from your church community? [32:26]
The church is meant to be a wonder to the world because of the way we love and care for each other. What is one practical way you can help make your small group or church a place where sacrificial friendship and unity are visible to outsiders? [33:01]
The sermon ended with an invitation to be free from offense and to join in community. What is one step you can take this week to move toward deeper, healthier friendships—whether it’s joining a group, reaching out to someone, or letting go of a grudge? [35:32]

Sermon Clips

Some of them are not going to help us propel us into the God given version of ourselves. But there are some that through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, you will discover this is a God given relationship. This brings me life and our friends will help launch us into the fullness of the God potential in our lives. [00:02:36] (21 seconds) #GodGivenFriendships

Without healthy friendships, we suffer. You know, the immature response to this message would be, oh, I know someone who needs to hear this. You know, you're like, Becky needs to do better. Better. Becky needs to be a better friend. The immature response would be, I'm out. A Christian hurt me, and Christians should never hurt another Christian. What planet are you living on? If you're a human in the room, raise your hand. That's what I thought. We are all processing our emotions and our hurts through the filter of a fallen, broken planet. You will be hurt, and you will be offended. [00:06:43] (42 seconds) #HumanHurtReality

But the mature response to a message about stewarding friendships is, God, reveal to me where my heart has been hurt. Reveal to me the wounds that I am projecting onto other people. Lord, reveal to me how I can be a good steward of my friendships. [00:07:24] (18 seconds) #MatureFriendshipStewardship

That means that as believers, we do not cancel each other. We go to war for one another. We don't give up on each other and say, eh, not worth it, or you have no idea what they said to me. That was 30 years ago, man. Go to war for each other. Stop carrying the baggage on your back of what happened. There will be offenses, but you have the opportunity to decide and choose unity. [00:14:03] (27 seconds) #WarForUnity

Cancel culture is not kingdom culture. We don't cancel believers. We don't say, one offense, you're done. No, no. Kingdom culture covers, and kingdom culture confronts biblically and with wisdom and in all things with love above all else. [00:14:30] (28 seconds) #KingdomCultureCovers

It's so simple. You go privately to the person. If the other person listens and confesses it, you've won that person back. Boom. Job done. That's it. Wow. The meetings we could not have if you guys would just all do this. You know what I'm saying? I mean, you know what I'm saying? It just would save everybody so much time if we just went to each other privately and directly. [00:16:17] (27 seconds) #PrivateReconciliation

We aren't doing this on our own. We really can't be trusted when we're feeling offended with our own bias. So we don't bring the person to the church to say. Deal with them. Deal with that naughty person. No. We bring them to the church to say, hey, they need covering and so do I. Because they're feeling some type of way. I'm feeling some type of way. Am I okay? Are they okay? Is what I'm saying and confronting them on okay? And you bring yourself under covering and submission to leadership that doesn't have a biased opinion about your situation. [00:17:58] (33 seconds) #CoveredInSubmission

Let's be a people who choose unity. Imagine a church that chooses covenant. Imagine a church that confronts and covers and doesn't blast people. On social media and doesn't start sitting on opposite ends of the auditorium because they just can't even imagine a church that the world would look at and say, my, how beautiful how they confront one another in love. [00:20:33] (22 seconds) #CovenantChurchVision

When you're in covenant friendship, their win is your win. We rejoice with those who rejoice. We weep with those who weep. And if you can't rejoice with your friends and you can't stand with them in the trial, you need to check your heart and say, God, is there jealousy, anger, bitterness, maliciousness inside of my heart that I can't celebrate with this person right now? [00:24:52] (22 seconds) #RejoiceAndWeepTogether

Let the world look on in wonder at the house of God. Let the world look on. Let it be true what Tertullian said. My, how they love one another. How they would lay their life down for one another. Let us be friends that go through the thickets of the wilderness and say, I'm dragging you out by the ankles. There's still a king in you. There's still a king in you. I don't care. If I'm jealous, I don't care. If you offended me, I will call out the gold in you because your win is my win. Your victory is my victory. And we will move forward into the things of God with unity, compassion, and covenant with one another. [00:32:57] (41 seconds) #ReachOutForHelp

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