Building Trust: Navigating Relationships with God’s Guidance

Summary

### Summary

Today, we delved into the critical topic of trust, especially in the context of our relationships and society. We began by acknowledging the current climate of distrust and division, exacerbated by recent events and political rhetoric. This lack of trust has permeated our relationships, whether personal, professional, or communal. We explored how trust is foundational to any relationship and how its breach can lead to devastating consequences.

We examined the story of Samson from Judges 14 and 15, focusing on his first wife from Timnah. Samson's life is a cautionary tale about the dangers of broken trust and the destructive path of vengeance. Samson's impulsive decisions, lack of genuine relationships, and penchant for games led to a series of betrayals and violent acts. His story illustrates how unresolved issues and a lack of communication can escalate conflicts and cause collateral damage to innocent parties.

We discussed three responses to broken trust: vengeance, acceptance, and severance. Vengeance, as seen in Samson's actions, only leads to more pain and destruction. Acceptance involves confronting the issue, seeking forgiveness, and possibly reconciling. Severance, on the other hand, may be necessary when a relationship is beyond repair. Both acceptance and severance require prayer, discernment, and sometimes the courage to walk away for the sake of peace and personal well-being.

Ultimately, we emphasized the importance of inviting God into our relationships to guide us in building trust and navigating conflicts. Trust must be at the core of love, and love must honor God to be genuine and lasting. We concluded with a call to discernment, urging everyone to seek God's wisdom in their relationships and to strive for peace and reconciliation wherever possible.

### Key Takeaways

1. The Foundation of Trust: Trust is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. Without it, relationships crumble, leading to pain and division. Trust must be built and maintained through honesty, safety, and seeking each other's highest good. When trust is broken, it often results in a series of negative events that can affect not just the individuals involved but also those around them. [02:07]

2. The Dangers of Vengeance: Vengeance is a destructive response to broken trust. It leads to collateral damage, affecting innocent people and escalating conflicts. Samson's life is a prime example of how vengeance can spiral out of control, causing more harm than the initial betrayal. Instead of seeking revenge, we should leave vengeance to God and focus on healing and reconciliation. [40:08]

3. Acceptance and Forgiveness: Acceptance involves confronting the issue, seeking forgiveness, and possibly reconciling. It starts with prayer and a willingness to have honest conversations about the hurt. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or condoning the wrong but releasing the hurt for our own well-being. Acceptance can lead to healing and restored relationships if both parties are willing to change and grow. [55:30]

4. The Courage to Sever: Sometimes, the healthiest option is to sever a relationship that is beyond repair. Severance should be done with peace and without malice. It involves recognizing that the relationship is not working and having the courage to walk away for the sake of personal well-being. God honors healthy severances, and they can lead to peace and new beginnings. [01:09:28]

5. Inviting God into Relationships: For love to thrive and last, it must exist within the safety of trust and honor God. Inviting God into our relationships provides the guidance and wisdom needed to navigate conflicts and build trust. God's word serves as the guardrails for our relationships, helping us to love genuinely and maintain healthy boundaries. [27:52]

### YouTube Chapters

[0:00] - Welcome
[00:52] - Introduction to Trust
[02:07] - Current Climate of Distrust
[03:34] - The Breach of Trust
[04:46] - Condemning Violence and Rhetoric
[05:55] - Rebuilding Trust in Relationships
[06:26] - Identifying Unhealthy Patterns
[07:56] - Drama Presentation
[16:46] - The Story of Samson
[17:55] - Samson's First Marriage
[19:21] - Samson's Riddle and Betrayal
[20:42] - Samson's Reaction
[22:20] - Samson's Return and Consequences
[25:00] - Vulnerability and Hurt
[26:28] - The Core of Love and Trust
[27:52] - The Role of God in Relationships
[29:03] - Samson's Character Flaws
[30:38] - The Importance of Knowing Each Other
[31:52] - Samson's Lack of Friends
[33:11] - The Consequences of Playing Games
[34:25] - The Threat to Samson's Wife
[35:44] - Samson's Betrayal and Reaction
[37:12] - The Collateral Damage of Vengeance
[38:42] - Three Responses to Broken Trust
[40:08] - The Dangers of Vengeance
[44:33] - The Impact of Vengefulness
[47:57] - Samson's Escalating Violence
[50:02] - The Cost of Vengeance
[52:47] - The Importance of Forgiveness
[55:30] - Acceptance and Prayer
[57:01] - The Role of Social Media
[59:44] - Confrontation and Forgiveness
[01:01:05] - Returning for the Wrong Reasons
[01:04:15] - Deconstructing the Past
[01:05:47] - Serial Relationships
[01:06:55] - The Need for Change
[01:09:28] - The Courage to Sever
[01:10:48] - Abraham and Lot's Separation
[01:13:04] - The Role of God in Severance
[01:14:31] - Jacob and Laban's Agreement
[01:15:45] - Family Relationships and Boundaries
[01:17:12] - Prayer for Discernment
[01:18:32] - Invitation to Christ
[01:19:39] - Closing and Offering
[01:22:13] - Announcements and Dismissal

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. Judges 14-15
2. Romans 12:19
3. Luke 17:3

#### Observation Questions
1. What were the key events in Samson's life that led to the breach of trust with his first wife from Timnah? [17:55]
2. How did Samson's impulsive decisions and penchant for games contribute to the series of betrayals and violent acts in his life? [19:21]
3. According to Romans 12:19, what does God say about vengeance, and how does this contrast with Samson's actions? [40:08]
4. In Luke 17:3, what steps does Jesus outline for dealing with someone who has sinned against you?

#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the story of Samson illustrate the destructive nature of vengeance? What were the consequences of Samson's vengeful actions? [47:57]
2. What does it mean to accept and forgive someone who has broken your trust, according to the sermon and Luke 17:3? [55:30]
3. How can severing a relationship be a healthy and God-honoring decision? What are some signs that a relationship might need to be severed? [01:09:28]
4. How does inviting God into our relationships help in building and maintaining trust? What role does prayer play in this process? [27:52]

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when someone broke your trust. How did you respond, and what could you have done differently to align your actions with Romans 12:19? [40:08]
2. Think about a relationship in your life where trust has been broken. What steps can you take to either accept and forgive or to sever the relationship in a healthy way? [55:30]
3. How can you invite God into your current relationships to help build trust and navigate conflicts? What specific prayers or actions can you take this week? [27:52]
4. Are there any unresolved issues in your relationships that need honest conversations and prayer? How can you initiate these conversations in a loving and God-honoring way? [59:44]
5. Identify a relationship where you might be holding onto vengeance or bitterness. What steps can you take to release these feelings and seek God's guidance for healing? [52:47]
6. How can you discern whether a relationship should be accepted and worked on or severed for the sake of personal well-being and peace? What signs should you look for? [01:09:28]
7. Reflect on the role of trust in your relationships. How can you actively work on building and maintaining trust with those around you? What specific actions can you take to ensure honesty, safety, and seeking each other's highest good? [26:28]

Devotional

Day 1: The Foundation of Trust
Trust is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. Without it, relationships crumble, leading to pain and division. Trust must be built and maintained through honesty, safety, and seeking each other's highest good. When trust is broken, it often results in a series of negative events that can affect not just the individuals involved but also those around them. Trust is not just a feeling but a commitment to act in ways that honor and respect the other person. It requires consistent effort and a willingness to be vulnerable. In a world where distrust is rampant, building and maintaining trust can be challenging, but it is essential for the health and longevity of any relationship. [02:07]

Proverbs 3:29-30 (ESV): "Do not plan evil against your neighbor, who dwells trustingly beside you. Do not contend with a man for no reason, when he has done you no harm."

Reflection: Think of a relationship in your life where trust has been broken. What steps can you take today to begin rebuilding that trust?

Day 2: The Dangers of Vengeance
Vengeance is a destructive response to broken trust. It leads to collateral damage, affecting innocent people and escalating conflicts. Samson's life is a prime example of how vengeance can spiral out of control, causing more harm than the initial betrayal. Instead of seeking revenge, we should leave vengeance to God and focus on healing and reconciliation. Vengeance not only harms others but also corrodes our own hearts, leading us away from peace and towards bitterness. By choosing to forgive and let go of the desire for revenge, we open the door to healing and restoration. [40:08]

Romans 12:19 (ESV): "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.'"

Reflection: Is there someone you are holding a grudge against? How can you release that desire for vengeance and seek God's peace instead?

Day 3: Acceptance and Forgiveness
Acceptance involves confronting the issue, seeking forgiveness, and possibly reconciling. It starts with prayer and a willingness to have honest conversations about the hurt. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or condoning the wrong but releasing the hurt for our own well-being. Acceptance can lead to healing and restored relationships if both parties are willing to change and grow. It requires humility and a willingness to see the other person's perspective. By accepting and forgiving, we allow God's grace to work in our hearts and relationships, bringing about true healing. [55:30]

Colossians 3:13 (ESV): "Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."

Reflection: Think of someone you need to forgive. Can you ask God to help you begin to extend His love and forgiveness to them today?

Day 4: The Courage to Sever
Sometimes, the healthiest option is to sever a relationship that is beyond repair. Severance should be done with peace and without malice. It involves recognizing that the relationship is not working and having the courage to walk away for the sake of personal well-being. God honors healthy severances, and they can lead to peace and new beginnings. Severing a relationship is never easy, but it can be necessary for your spiritual and emotional health. It requires discernment and the courage to prioritize your well-being. [01:09:28]

Matthew 10:14 (ESV): "And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town."

Reflection: Is there a relationship in your life that is causing you more harm than good? What steps can you take to peacefully sever that relationship?

Day 5: Inviting God into Relationships
For love to thrive and last, it must exist within the safety of trust and honor God. Inviting God into our relationships provides the guidance and wisdom needed to navigate conflicts and build trust. God's word serves as the guardrails for our relationships, helping us to love genuinely and maintain healthy boundaries. When we invite God into our relationships, we allow His love and wisdom to guide us, leading to healthier and more fulfilling connections. It is through God's guidance that we can navigate the complexities of relationships and build a foundation of trust and love. [27:52]

1 John 4:12 (ESV): "No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us."

Reflection: How can you invite God into your relationships today? What changes can you make to ensure that your relationships honor Him?

Quotes

### Quotes for Outreach

1. "The deeper we connect in relationship, the more vulnerable we become, right? To have a deep relationship means that you have to have vulnerability. The more vulnerable you are, the more exposed the tender spaces in your heart are, and you can be hurt. So there is no vulnerability without openness, and when there's openness, there is the potential to be hurt, to be disillusioned. When we dare to be known, we risk being hurt." [25:00] (60 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

2. "You can't build trust where it keeps getting broken over and over and over and over again. For love to thrive and last, it must exist within the safety of trust. Somebody say with me, trust. Health cannot be bound to unhealth and expect something to be healthy. You can't, you can't allow something to be connected to unhealth and allow it to be healthy. You have to cut the cancer out." [27:52] ( | | )

3. "You got to learn how to let things go, amen, and don't work things out with your anger. I know you good. You can outthink anybody. Some of y'all are good. Boy, you can talk. You know how to write up and down. Boy, you got to move. And you got a skill in that. I mean, you could just make people spill this little with your lips, but you got to learn how to learn how to keep it closed because you lose so much in the process." [51:26] ( | | )

4. "You got to learn how to forgive. You got to learn how to let go. You got to let, got to learn how to forgive. Forgiveness does not mean, however, that, that I'm saying for you to get back to the relationship. No, sometimes that relationship is done, but you, you, you, you, you, you have to let it go for you because you're hurting you. See, forgiveness is not forgetting what happened. I'm not saying forget it. No, you got to remember that." [54:01] ( | | )

5. "You need to figure out why did this happen in the first place? What went on? And if we can't figure it out together, let's get a third party into this that can help us, that love both of us, or doesn't know both of us, that can help us to unravel from this. And then we can figure out, do we need to continue? There's been no change, and there's no change at all. Maybe option three is it, and I'm closing." [01:08:56] ( | | )

### Quotes for Members

1. "When trust is broken and it's from somebody who you don't care about, guess what? You can get over that easy. Somebody who you don't really care breaks your trust, you're like, fine. But where it hurts is when someone who we really love and we really care for, when they break our trust, man, it's devastating. It's like somebody punched you in the gut." [28:42] (60 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

2. "You can't carry out bad behavior and expect, amen, to call it love. Love is not there when there's bad behavior and we're doing things to injure and hurt one another. That ain't love. That's not love. I love old Tina Turner, man. God bless her soul. What's love got to do with it? Amen. Although I know that's not what she was saying in that song, but it's certainly what love's got to do with it." [26:28] (60 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

3. "You got to learn how to do what Samson never learned how to do until the end of his life. He only learned it at the end of his life. Amen. And you got to learn it now. He never learned how to give things to God. You got to learn how to do this, Lord. I got to give this to God. Yeah. You know, God says, vengeance is mine. I'll take care of it. I can fix things in ways you never thought." [52:47] ( | | )

4. "You got to learn how to get over stuff quicker. Some of y'all need this and we're going to talk a little bit about forgiveness a little later in the series I got a message, but let's talk there. There that you've got to learn how to get over stuff because some of y'all just don't get over stuff you you you are you getting mad And when we really find out what you really mad about it really is as silly as KNG linen you upset about that?" [50:02] ( | | )

5. "You need the Spirit of God to help you to do that. To help you to be able to accept what happened and to be able, if it has to sever, amen, to be able to know how to sever it. And it doesn't have to be ugly. It can be one of peace. can be one of peace because God is in those relationships. He's in all the relationships that you have, every one of them. He wants you to invite him in." [01:12:24] ( | | )

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Transcript

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