Building Trust and Communication in Relationships
Summary
In this sermon, I discussed the importance of trust, reliance, and commitment in relationships, particularly in the context of dating and marriage. I emphasized the need to truly know and understand your partner before progressing in the relationship. I also highlighted the importance of having a strong support system of Christian friends who can provide guidance and perspective during the ups and downs of a relationship. I encouraged those who are struggling in their relationships to seek counseling, preferably from a Christian counselor, to gain insights and strategies for improving their relationships. I also stressed the importance of effective communication in a relationship, urging listeners to consider their partner's perspective and feelings when communicating.
Key Takeaways:
- Trust, reliance, and commitment are crucial in a relationship, and these should be built on a solid foundation of understanding and knowing your partner. [ 32:02]
- Having a strong support system of Christian friends can provide valuable guidance and perspective during the ups and downs of a relationship. [ 29:51]
- Seeking counseling, preferably from a Christian counselor, can provide insights and strategies for improving a struggling relationship. [ 30:21]
- Effective communication is key in a relationship, and it's important to consider your partner's perspective and feelings when communicating. [ 24:10]
- It's important to put your spouse's interests before your own and strive to understand them better. [ 26:15]
Study Guide
Bible Reading:
1. Philippians 2:3-4 - "Don't be jealous or proud puppy what be humble and consider others in this case your spouse consider others more important than yourselves don't look out only for your own interests but take an interest in others too" [25:36]
2. Song of Solomon 8:4 - "Promise Me O women of Jerusalem not to awaken love until the time is right" [16:34]
Observation Questions:
1. In Philippians 2:3-4, what does it mean to consider others more important than ourselves, especially in the context of a marriage?
2. What does Song of Solomon 8:4 mean when it says not to awaken love until the time is right? How does this apply to both dating and marriage?
Interpretation Questions:
1. How does the principle of considering others more important than ourselves in Philippians 2:3-4 apply to communication within a marriage?
2. How does the advice in Song of Solomon 8:4 to not awaken love until the time is right guide us in our relationships, both in dating and in marriage?
Application Questions:
1. How can you apply the principle of considering your spouse more important than yourself in your marriage this week? Can you think of a specific situation where you can put this into practice?
2. How can you ensure that you are not awakening love before its time in your current relationship status (single, dating, married)?
3. How can you improve communication with your spouse or future spouse to better know them, as suggested in the sermon? Can you think of a specific action you can take this week?
4. The sermon mentioned the importance of having Christian friends to share life with. How can you cultivate such friendships this week?
5. The sermon suggested cutting back on TV and social media to improve communication in a marriage. How can you implement this advice in your life this week?
Devotional
Day 1: Prioritize Communication in Marriage
In a world where distractions are abundant, it's crucial to prioritize communication in marriage. The average couple only talks to each other for 20 minutes per day, while spending over three hours on TV and social media. This imbalance can lead to a lack of understanding and connection in the relationship. Prioritizing communication helps to build trust, reliance, and commitment, which are essential for a healthy marriage ([29:18]).
Proverbs 15:23 - "A person finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word!"
Reflection: Reflect on your daily routine. How much time do you spend communicating with your spouse compared to time spent on TV and social media? How can you adjust your schedule to prioritize communication?
Day 2: Seek Christian Counseling
Sometimes, marriages reach a point where professional help is needed. It's important to seek Christian counseling in these instances, as secular counseling may not align with biblical principles. Christian counseling can provide a fresh perspective and guidance based on the teachings of Jesus, helping couples navigate through their struggles ([30:53]).
Proverbs 15:22 - "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed."
Reflection: Are there unresolved issues in your marriage that may benefit from Christian counseling? How can you overcome any barriers to seeking this help?
Day 3: Cultivate Christian Friendships
Having Christian friends to share life with is essential for every marriage. These friendships provide support during ups and downs, offering an outside perspective and godly advice. Cultivating such friendships can help couples navigate through tough times and strengthen their relationship ([29:51]).
Proverbs 27:17 - "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."
Reflection: How can you cultivate deeper friendships with other Christian couples? How might these relationships support your marriage?
Day 4: Commit to Learning and Growing
Committing to learning and growing in your relationship is key to taking your love to the next level. This involves being open to new insights and perspectives, and applying them to your relationship. It's about humbling ourselves and acknowledging that we don't have all the answers, but we're willing to learn and grow ([33:13]).
Proverbs 1:5 - "Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance."
Reflection: What areas in your relationship do you need to learn and grow in? How can you commit to this growth?
Day 5: Know Your Spouse
Knowing your spouse is the foundation of a strong marriage. It's about understanding their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and using this understanding to build trust, reliance, and commitment. This requires intentional effort and time, but it's an investment that yields a strong and fulfilling marriage ([28:09]).
Proverbs 24:3-4 - "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures."
Reflection: How well do you know your spouse? What steps can you take to deepen your understanding of them?
Quotes
1. "If you're not already having a weekly date, make sure you do that. It doesn't have to be fancy, it doesn't have to be expensive, just the time that you're together, you're communicating with each other. Going to the movies or just sitting and watching TV doesn't count because again you're just watching a screen at that point. We're talking about actually communicating, actually getting to know your spouse better and better." 29:51
2. "The average couple only talks to one another 20 minutes per day but the average married couple spends over three hours a day watching TV and on social media. Many of you have kept up with the Kardashians more than you kept up with your spouse. You've got to get to know your spouse so that it brings all these things way up here." 28:09
3. "Instead of saying 'I'm sorry you heard that' say it this way 'I'm sorry I came across that way'. Remember our key verse is have the mindset of Jesus. The way you've been communicating hasn't worked for you so now take the mindset of Jesus, change how you communicate with your spouse." 25:36
4. "It's so important that when you are dating you have other Christians in your life that love you and care for you that they can like speak into your life and say look your brain is shut off right now you're not making good decisions. It's so important that you're asking people their thoughts and their opinions about it because again according to the research your brain has shut off, you are not thinking correctly." 15:59
5. "Life happens, seasons of Life Changes, you get a new job, you have a new child that comes into the equation, you move somewhere, things change and things go up and things go down and they're all over the place. What we're trying to do here is we're trying to find some sort of balance in the relationship. To do that, you've got to really know your spouse." 17:51
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