Building Strong Marriages Through Mutual Submission and Christ

 

Summary

In today's message, we delved into the profound and often challenging topic of marriage, focusing on the biblical principles found in Ephesians 5:21-28. The essence of a strong marriage lies in mutual submission, where both partners willingly place the needs of the marriage above their individual preferences. This revolutionary idea, especially in the context of the time when Paul wrote it, calls for a balance of power and respect between husbands and wives, liberating both to serve each other in love.

Marriage is not merely a romantic endeavor but a commitment that requires hard work and dedication. Many young couples enter marriage with an idealistic view, believing that love alone will sustain them. However, the reality is that marriage involves both better and worse times, and it is through these challenges that couples grow stronger together. The key is to understand that marriage is not about "me" but about "we," and this requires a shift from individual desires to collective goals.

The concept of submission is likened to a submarine going below the surface to fulfill its mission. In marriage, this means placing one's own desires under the mission of the marriage, prioritizing the relationship over personal preferences. Healthy couples focus on resolving conflicts rather than winning arguments, understanding that sometimes personal sacrifice is necessary for the greater good of the marriage.

Christ must be at the center of the marriage, serving as the foundation that enables mutual submission. With Christ as the mediator, couples can navigate the challenges of marriage with grace and unity. A marriage centered on Christ is less likely to fall apart, as He brings peace, order, and unity.

Finally, the role of the Holy Spirit as the enforcer in marriage is emphasized. It is not our job to enforce change in our spouse; rather, we must trust the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts and in our marriage. By focusing on our own growth and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide us, we can build a marriage that reflects God's perfect plan.

Key Takeaways:

- Mutual Submission: True submission in marriage involves both partners placing the needs of the marriage above their individual desires. This revolutionary concept calls for a balance of power and respect, liberating both to serve each other in love. [06:36]

- Marriage Requires Work: Many enter marriage with an idealistic view, but the reality is that it involves both better and worse times. Understanding that marriage is about "we" and not "me" requires a shift from individual desires to collective goals. [05:53]

- Christ at the Center: A marriage centered on Christ is less likely to fall apart, as He brings peace, order, and unity. With Christ as the mediator, couples can navigate challenges with grace and unity. [15:07]

- Healthy Conflict Resolution: Healthy couples focus on resolving conflicts rather than winning arguments. Personal sacrifice is sometimes necessary for the greater good of the marriage, and this requires humility and a willingness to listen. [09:28]

- Role of the Holy Spirit: Trusting the Holy Spirit as the enforcer in marriage allows for genuine growth and change. By focusing on personal growth and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide, couples can build a marriage that reflects God's perfect plan. [31:26]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [02:34] - Introduction and Prayer
- [04:14] - The Reality of Marriage Vows
- [05:53] - The Importance of Hard Work in Marriage
- [06:36] - Mutual Submission in Marriage
- [07:44] - Understanding Submission
- [08:35] - Fighting for "Ours" Not "Mine"
- [09:28] - Healthy Conflict Resolution
- [10:43] - The Role of Humility
- [11:54] - Communication in Marriage
- [13:26] - The Danger of Silence
- [15:07] - Keeping Christ at the Center
- [17:14] - The Power of Praise and Worship
- [18:13] - Growing Together Spiritually
- [18:51] - Lessons from Adam and Eve
- [22:00] - Avoiding Isolation
- [24:38] - The Importance of Discernment
- [26:12] - The Role of the Husband
- [27:51] - Leading with Conviction
- [28:49] - Initiating Submission
- [30:23] - Becoming One Whole
- [31:26] - The Holy Spirit as the Enforcer
- [33:53] - Closing Prayer and Commitment
- [35:34] - Generational Impact of Marriage

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
- Ephesians 5:21-28

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#### Observation Questions
1. What does Ephesians 5:21-28 say about the roles of husbands and wives in marriage?
2. How does the sermon describe the concept of mutual submission in marriage? [06:36]
3. What analogy is used in the sermon to explain the idea of submission in marriage? [07:44]
4. According to the sermon, what is the role of the Holy Spirit in marriage? [31:26]

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#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the idea of mutual submission challenge traditional views of marriage roles? [06:36]
2. In what ways does the sermon suggest that Christ being at the center of a marriage can prevent it from falling apart? [15:07]
3. How does the sermon interpret the concept of "submission" in the context of a healthy marriage? [07:44]
4. What does the sermon imply about the importance of personal growth and the role of the Holy Spirit in a marriage? [31:26]

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#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your own marriage or relationships. How can you practice mutual submission in a way that prioritizes "we" over "me"? [05:53]
2. What are some practical steps you can take to ensure Christ remains at the center of your marriage or relationships? [15:07]
3. Think of a recent conflict in your marriage or relationship. How could focusing on resolution rather than winning have changed the outcome? [09:28]
4. How can you invite the Holy Spirit to guide and enforce positive changes in your marriage or relationships? [31:26]
5. Identify one area in your marriage or relationship where you can make a personal sacrifice for the greater good. What steps will you take to act on this? [09:28]
6. How can you improve communication with your spouse or partner to ensure both of you feel heard and valued? [11:54]
7. Consider a time when you felt isolated in your relationship. How can you prevent isolation and foster a sense of unity with your partner? [18:51]

Devotional

Day 1: Mutual Submission in Marriage
In the context of marriage, mutual submission is a transformative principle that calls for both partners to prioritize the needs of the marriage over their individual desires. This concept, rooted in Ephesians 5:21-28, challenges traditional power dynamics by advocating for a balance of power and respect between spouses. It liberates both partners to serve each other in love, fostering a relationship where both can thrive. Mutual submission is not about losing one's identity but about creating a partnership where both individuals are valued and respected. This approach requires humility and a willingness to place the relationship above personal preferences, leading to a more harmonious and fulfilling marriage. [06:36]

Ephesians 5:21-24 (ESV): "Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands."

Reflection: In what ways can you practice mutual submission in your marriage today, prioritizing the needs of your relationship over your personal desires?


Day 2: The Reality of Marriage Requires Work
Marriage is a commitment that extends beyond romantic ideals, requiring dedication and effort from both partners. Many enter marriage with the belief that love alone will sustain them, but the reality is that marriage involves both better and worse times. It is through these challenges that couples grow stronger together. Understanding that marriage is about "we" and not "me" necessitates a shift from individual desires to collective goals. This shift requires intentional effort, communication, and a willingness to work through difficulties together, ultimately leading to a more resilient and enduring partnership. [05:53]

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (ESV): "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!"

Reflection: What is one specific area in your marriage where you can invest more effort and dedication to strengthen your partnership?


Day 3: Christ at the Center of Marriage
A marriage centered on Christ is less likely to fall apart, as He brings peace, order, and unity to the relationship. With Christ as the mediator, couples can navigate the challenges of marriage with grace and unity. This Christ-centered approach provides a solid foundation that helps couples weather the storms of life together. By keeping Christ at the center, couples are reminded of the greater purpose of their union and are empowered to love and serve each other selflessly. This spiritual focus fosters a deeper connection and a more meaningful partnership. [15:07]

Colossians 3:14-15 (ESV): "And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful."

Reflection: How can you intentionally keep Christ at the center of your marriage this week, and what impact do you hope this will have on your relationship?


Day 4: Healthy Conflict Resolution
Healthy couples focus on resolving conflicts rather than winning arguments, understanding that personal sacrifice is sometimes necessary for the greater good of the marriage. This approach requires humility, a willingness to listen, and a commitment to finding solutions that benefit both partners. By prioritizing resolution over victory, couples can strengthen their bond and create a more supportive and understanding environment. This mindset fosters a culture of open communication and mutual respect, allowing couples to navigate disagreements with grace and empathy. [09:28]

Proverbs 15:1-2 (ESV): "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly."

Reflection: Think of a recent conflict in your marriage. How can you approach similar situations in the future with a focus on resolution and mutual understanding?


Day 5: Trusting the Holy Spirit in Marriage
The role of the Holy Spirit as the enforcer in marriage emphasizes the importance of trusting God to bring about genuine growth and change. It is not our job to enforce change in our spouse; instead, we must focus on our own growth and allow the Holy Spirit to guide us. By surrendering control and trusting in the Holy Spirit, couples can build a marriage that reflects God's perfect plan. This reliance on divine guidance fosters a deeper spiritual connection and encourages both partners to grow in their faith and love for one another. [31:26]

Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV): "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

Reflection: In what ways can you invite the Holy Spirit to work in your marriage, and how can you focus on your personal growth in this process?

Quotes



Submitting means we're gonna trust together, we're gonna learn together, we're gonna submit together, and we're going to lead our family and our home together. That's what submitting means. So I begin to think about this word submitting. And we see it just as if we're looking at a submarine, a submarine that goes below the water to fulfill its mission. Just like us, submitting means I'm putting myself and my preferences and my heart and my desires sub under, under the mission, submission. [00:08:15] (34 seconds)


Some of you, your marriages are just a few prayers away from being healthy. Some of you, you may be a three-day fast away from having a healthy marriage. Some of you need to get in a posture of praise and worship. You know, the word talks about how our praise is a weapon. Against what? Against the schemes of the enemy. Remember, the enemy schemes to divide whatever God unites. [00:16:14] (27 seconds)


And sometimes when you feel that way, you have no other option but to lean on the Holy Spirit in your life. God will give you the grace and the strength to do what he has called you to do. And he has called you to be the leader of your family. He's called you to be the strength in your family. He's called you to be the priest, the pastor, the preacher, the provider of your household. [00:27:09] (22 seconds)


So how do we get to that point, Pastor Jordan? How do we get to that place? The third point is someone is going to have to initiate today and begin the initiation of submission. Somebody. Through love and respect and honor, somebody's going to make it. Too many of our marriages today are at a standoff. [00:28:49] (20 seconds)


Avoid enforcing in the flesh that is the role of the Holy Spirit now you have the right to say anything to your spouse but understand that the Holy Spirit entrust the Holy Spirit to be the enforcer of his plan in your life in your marriage in humility, love and honor we communicate not anger, spite. [00:32:03] (24 seconds)


You're honest that allows the Holy Spirit to come in to step in and be the enforcer so today that is God's perfect plan for your marriage that's his desire and so today you might be in here you're saying you know I just I don't know where to begin I don't know where to start we've got to start with getting ourself right with him today, amen got to believe today that he is the way because the Lord today and some of you maybe this is just what you need God is 100% committed to your marriage being successful today that's his plan, that's his heart and his desires, you're not in this thing alone you're in it together and just like Ecclesiastes says the three-stranded cord is not going to be broken today again if you're with your spouse will you grab. [00:33:53] (56 seconds)


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Transcript
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