Building Strong Marriages: Boundaries, Communication, and Growth

In our journey through life, particularly in marriage, we often face challenges that can lead to disintegration if not addressed. It's not usually a sudden event that causes a marriage to falter, but rather a slow, undetected leak over time. To prevent this, we must adopt a realistic approach that includes a healthy dose of skepticism. This skepticism involves examining our own motives and being aware of the potential for failure when we enter high-risk areas. Jesus himself recognized the flawed nature of humanity, yet he trusted in what he could do for us. Therefore, we must set boundaries to protect our relationships.

One such boundary is the "hedge of carefulness." This involves being vigilant and cautious, not living in fear, but being prepared for potential failures. Just as we teach our children the importance of road signs for their safety, we must also teach them about the boundaries that protect their marriages. It's foolish to think we are immune to external forces that threaten our relationships. We must guard our minds against ungodly influences that can undermine our marriages.

Another important boundary is the "hedge of endeavor," which emphasizes the hard work required to maintain a healthy marriage. Just as a neglected garden becomes overrun with weeds, a marriage left unattended can quickly deteriorate. We must be willing to put in the effort to nurture and cultivate our relationships, regularly assessing where we are and where we want to go.

Communication is another crucial aspect of a healthy marriage. It's essential to maintain open lines of communication with our spouses, sharing our thoughts and feelings. This prevents misunderstandings and fosters intimacy. The breakdown of communication often stems from unresolved sin, which leads to hiding and covering up. To restore communication, we must address and eliminate the sin that blocks it.

Finally, we must recognize that the changes God demands in his word are made possible by his indwelling spirit. We are not left to our own devices; God provides the resources we need to fulfill our obligations and grow in our relationships.

Key Takeaways

• 1. Skepticism and Self-Examination: A healthy dose of skepticism involves examining our own motives and being aware of potential failures. This self-awareness helps us set necessary boundaries to protect our relationships from disintegration. [01:18]
• 2. Hedge of Carefulness: Being vigilant and cautious is essential in maintaining a healthy marriage. We must guard our minds against ungodly influences and be prepared for potential failures, just as we teach our children the importance of road signs for their safety. [03:34]
• 3. Hedge of Endeavor: Hard work is required to maintain a healthy marriage. Just as a neglected garden becomes overrun with weeds, a marriage left unattended can quickly deteriorate. We must be willing to put in the effort to nurture and cultivate our relationships. [07:14]
• 4. Importance of Communication: Open communication is crucial in maintaining intimacy in marriage. The breakdown of communication often stems from unresolved sin, which leads to hiding and covering up. To restore communication, we must address and eliminate the sin that blocks it. [13:22]
• 5. God's Provision for Change: The changes God demands in his word are made possible by his indwelling spirit. We are not left to our own devices; God provides the resources we need to fulfill our obligations and grow in our relationships. [17:29]
  ** [17:29]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [01:04] - Slow Leaks in Marriage
• [01:18] - Healthy Skepticism
• [02:28] - Setting Boundaries
• [03:34] - Hedge of Carefulness
• [04:25] - Teaching Our Children
• [05:14] - Guarding Our Minds
• [06:47] - Preparing for the Worst
• [07:14] - Hedge of Endeavor
• [08:39] - Avoiding Neglect
• [10:02] - Attention to Detail
• [12:14] - Hedge of Communication
• [13:22] - Addressing Sin
• [15:03] - Overcoming Excuses
• [17:29] - God's Provision for Change

1. 1 Corinthians 10:12 - "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!"
2. Proverbs 24:30-34 - "I went past the field of a sluggard, past the vineyard of someone who has no sense; thorns had come up everywhere, the ground was covered with weeds, and the stone wall was in ruins. I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw: A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man."
3. Genesis 3:7-10 - "Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, 'Where are you?' He answered, 'I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.'"

1. What does 1 Corinthians 10:12 warn us about regarding our confidence in standing firm? How does this relate to the concept of the "hedge of carefulness"? [03:34]
2. In Proverbs 24:30-34, what observations are made about the neglected field, and how does this relate to the "hedge of endeavor" in marriage? [08:39]
3. How does Genesis 3:7-10 illustrate the breakdown of communication and the beginning of hiding and covering up? How does this relate to the sermon’s discussion on communication in marriage? [14:16]

1. How can skepticism and self-examination help us set boundaries in our relationships, and why is this important according to the sermon? [01:18]
2. What are some practical ways to cultivate the "hedge of endeavor" in a marriage, and why is hard work emphasized as necessary? [07:14]
3. How does unresolved sin lead to a breakdown in communication, and what steps can be taken to address this issue in a marriage? [14:39]

1. Reflect on your own marriage or relationships. Are there any "slow leaks" that you have been ignoring? What steps can you take this week to address them? [01:04]
2. Consider the "hedge of carefulness." What are some specific boundaries you can set to protect your marriage or relationships from external threats? [03:34]
3. In what ways can you actively work on the "hedge of endeavor" in your marriage? Identify one area that needs attention and plan a specific action to improve it this week. [08:39]
4. How open is the communication in your marriage or relationships? Identify one area where communication could be improved and discuss how you can address it with your spouse or partner. [13:22]
5. Reflect on the role of God’s spirit in your life. How can you rely more on God’s provision to make necessary changes in your relationships? [17:29]
6. Think about the influences you allow into your mind. Are there any ungodly influences you need to guard against? What practical steps can you take to protect your mind and marriage? [05:14]
7. Identify one act of sacrifice you can make for your spouse or partner this week. How can this act strengthen your relationship? [18:36]