Building Strong, God-Honoring Marriages Together
Summary
From this day forward, we are called to build marriages that are strong, healthy, and God-honoring. Whether you're newly married, have been married for decades, or are single, the principles of a thriving relationship are universally applicable. The reality is that marriage, like life, is fraught with challenges. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians that those who marry will face many troubles. Yet, the goal is not to avoid these challenges but to navigate them with grace and commitment.
The statistics on marriage and divorce are sobering, with a significant percentage of marriages ending in divorce. This is often due to unrealistic expectations that marriage will solve all personal issues. However, a great marriage is not about finding the right person but becoming the right person. It requires a commitment to the covenant made with God and each other, a commitment that must be renewed daily.
The first key to a successful marriage is prioritizing it as the most important human relationship, second only to our relationship with God. A 50/50 mindset, where each partner only gives as much as they receive, is not sustainable. Instead, we should strive for a 100/100 relationship, where both partners are fully committed to each other and to God.
The second key is the pursuit. Pursuing your spouse should not end after the wedding day. It involves daily acts of love and encouragement, speaking words of affirmation, and doing special things for each other. This pursuit is a reflection of God's unending pursuit of us.
Finally, marriage is a partnership. Too often, couples project partnership but practice divorce through their actions and attitudes. True partnership involves mutual submission out of reverence for Christ, where both spouses are committed to serving and loving each other sacrificially.
Key Takeaways:
- Prioritizing Marriage: Marriage should be the most important human relationship, second only to our relationship with God. A 50/50 mindset is insufficient; instead, strive for a 100/100 relationship where both partners are fully committed to each other and to God. This requires a daily renewal of commitment. [12:20]
- Pursuit in Marriage: The pursuit of your spouse should not end after the wedding day. It involves daily acts of love and encouragement, speaking words of affirmation, and doing special things for each other. This pursuit reflects God's unending pursuit of us and strengthens the marital bond. [21:44]
- Partnership in Marriage: True partnership in marriage involves mutual submission out of reverence for Christ. It requires both spouses to be committed to serving and loving each other sacrificially, reflecting the love Christ has for the church. [30:45]
- Becoming the Right Person: Instead of focusing on finding the right person, focus on becoming the right person. Cultivate character, authenticity, and a walk that matches your talk. This transformation aligns with God's way of building relationships. [19:45]
- Daily Commitment: Marriage is a daily commitment that involves choosing to love and serve your spouse every day. It is a covenant that requires constant renewal and dedication, much like our relationship with God. [39:20]
Youtube Chapters:
- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:10] - Introduction to Marriage Keys
- [00:56] - The Reality of Marriage Challenges
- [02:28] - Sobering Marriage Statistics
- [03:21] - Unrealistic Expectations in Marriage
- [04:03] - Commitment to the Covenant
- [06:33] - Priority Key in Marriage
- [09:36] - The 50/50 Marriage Mentality
- [12:20] - The 100/100 Marriage Perspective
- [18:07] - Pursuit Key in Marriage
- [21:44] - Encouragement and Special Acts
- [25:43] - Being the Change You Want
- [29:38] - Partnership Key in Marriage
- [32:22] - Submission and Sacrifice
- [37:11] - Daily Commitment and Recommitment
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: Building Strong, Healthy, and God-Honoring Marriages
Bible Reading:
1. 1 Corinthians 7:28 - "But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this."
2. Ephesians 5:21 - "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
3. Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
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Observation Questions:
1. What does 1 Corinthians 7:28 suggest about the nature of marriage and the challenges it presents? How does this align with the sermon’s message about the reality of marriage challenges? [01:29]
2. In the sermon, how is the concept of a 50/50 marriage described, and why is it considered insufficient for a thriving relationship? [07:38]
3. According to the sermon, what are some daily actions that reflect the pursuit of one's spouse, and how do these actions mirror God's pursuit of us? [21:44]
4. How does the sermon describe the role of mutual submission in marriage, as referenced in Ephesians 5:21? [30:45]
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Interpretation Questions:
1. How might the understanding that marriage will face many troubles (1 Corinthians 7:28) change one's expectations and approach to marriage? [01:29]
2. What does it mean to prioritize marriage as the most important human relationship, and how does this priority impact daily decisions and interactions with one's spouse? [06:33]
3. How does the sermon suggest that becoming the right person is more important than finding the right person, and what implications does this have for personal growth and relationship dynamics? [19:45]
4. In what ways does mutual submission out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21) challenge traditional views of power and control within marriage? [30:45]
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Application Questions:
1. Reflect on your current mindset towards marriage. Are there areas where you might be operating with a 50/50 mentality? How can you shift towards a 100/100 perspective? [12:20]
2. Identify one specific way you can pursue your spouse this week through an act of love or encouragement. How can this action reflect God's unending pursuit of us? [21:44]
3. Consider a recent conflict or challenge in your marriage. How might mutual submission and sacrificial love, as described in the sermon, have changed the outcome? [30:45]
4. What are some unrealistic expectations you might have about marriage? How can you adjust these expectations to align more closely with the reality of marriage as described in the sermon? [03:21]
5. Think about a time when you focused on finding the right person rather than becoming the right person. How can you shift your focus towards personal growth and character development? [19:45]
6. How can you make your marriage a daily priority, ensuring it remains the most important human relationship in your life? What specific actions can you take to renew your commitment daily? [39:20]
7. Reflect on the role of communication in your marriage. How can you improve your communication to ensure that you and your spouse are truly partners, not just projecting partnership? [30:45]
Devotional
Day 1: Prioritizing Marriage as a Sacred Covenant
Marriage is a sacred covenant that should be prioritized as the most important human relationship, second only to our relationship with God. This means that a 50/50 mindset, where each partner only gives as much as they receive, is insufficient. Instead, strive for a 100/100 relationship where both partners are fully committed to each other and to God. This requires a daily renewal of commitment, recognizing that marriage is not just a contract but a covenant that reflects God's love and faithfulness. By prioritizing marriage in this way, couples can build a strong foundation that withstands the challenges of life. [12:20]
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24, ESV)
Reflection: In what ways can you prioritize your marriage today to reflect its sacred nature as a covenant before God?
Day 2: The Pursuit of Love in Marriage
The pursuit of your spouse should not end after the wedding day. It involves daily acts of love and encouragement, speaking words of affirmation, and doing special things for each other. This pursuit is a reflection of God's unending pursuit of us and strengthens the marital bond. By continually pursuing your spouse, you demonstrate love and commitment, creating a dynamic and thriving relationship. This ongoing pursuit is essential for maintaining intimacy and connection, reminding each other of the love that brought you together. [21:44]
"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." (Romans 12:9-10, ESV)
Reflection: What is one specific way you can pursue your spouse today to show them love and appreciation?
Day 3: Partnership Through Mutual Submission
True partnership in marriage involves mutual submission out of reverence for Christ. It requires both spouses to be committed to serving and loving each other sacrificially, reflecting the love Christ has for the church. This means setting aside selfish desires and prioritizing the needs and well-being of your partner. By practicing mutual submission, couples can create a harmonious and supportive relationship that honors God and strengthens their bond. [30:45]
"Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ." (Ephesians 5:21, ESV)
Reflection: How can you practice mutual submission in your marriage today, putting your spouse's needs before your own?
Day 4: Becoming the Right Person
Instead of focusing on finding the right person, focus on becoming the right person. Cultivate character, authenticity, and a walk that matches your talk. This transformation aligns with God's way of building relationships, emphasizing personal growth and spiritual maturity. By becoming the right person, you contribute positively to your marriage and set an example for your spouse. This journey of self-improvement and spiritual growth is essential for a thriving and God-honoring relationship. [19:45]
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:2, ESV)
Reflection: What is one area of your character that you can work on today to become a better partner in your marriage?
Day 5: Daily Commitment to Love and Serve
Marriage is a daily commitment that involves choosing to love and serve your spouse every day. It is a covenant that requires constant renewal and dedication, much like our relationship with God. This daily commitment means being intentional about your actions and words, ensuring they reflect love and respect for your partner. By renewing your commitment each day, you strengthen your marriage and honor the covenant you made before God. [39:20]
"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9, ESV)
Reflection: How can you renew your commitment to your spouse today in a way that reflects your love and dedication?
Quotes
A great marriage requires a commitment to the Covenant that you make to God and to each other and that you make to God and remake and remake and remake. [00:04:09]
Marriage isn't 50/50. It sounds good, right? You kind of think marriage should be 50/50, right? Even Steven, Ferris Square. Marriage isn't 50/50. Divorces. Right, you get divorce, good lawyers will cut everything down the middle: time, possessions, money, access to kids. [00:07:40]
Instead of finding the right person, become the right person. Andy Stanley preached the series a few years back and he famously said, "Become the person that the person you're looking for is looking for." Don't worry about finding the right person, become the right person. [00:19:45]
The pursuit may look different, but it should never end. So I want to give you a couple quick things to think about if you're married to continually pursue your spouse. The first thing is this: when you think something encouraging about your spouse, say it. [00:21:44]
When you consider something special for your spouse, do it. Dave Ramsey might not like me to say this, but in my opinion, there's some things to go into debt for short term, some things to splurge on, and your spouse should be top of that list. [00:23:21]
Too often, too many of us are projecting partnership, but we are practicing divorce. We are projecting partnership. No, we're living together under the same roof. We're projecting that we're partners. We're getting the things that done that got to get done. [00:29:38]
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, out of awe, out of Wonder. We've got to be committed and submitted and surrendered to God, and then from that relationship to submit to each other just as Christ did. [00:30:45]
The only way that you and I can commit to the Covenant that we make to God and to each other is to submit our Wills to our will to his by submitting to each other. This is always going to be a choice. This is always going to take hard work. [00:31:48]
Jesus is the standard, and when we fall short of that standard, we commit to the Covenant again. We read, we choose, and then we re-choose. We commit, and then we recommit each and every day. [00:39:20]
We choose to enter into a covenant with our spouse in a moment. Call that a wedding. In our world, we spend a lot of time, a lot of focus, a lot of energy, a lot of money on that day. But the same is true: we get up every morning after that day. [00:39:45]
That decision is an everyday decision. That decision is a layer by layer, Moment by moment, day by day decision. For Better or For Worse, we're richer or for poorer, and sickness and in health, Good Times and bad, forsaking all others. [00:40:22]
I ask that no matter the current state of each marriage represented here today, each relationship represented here today, in person, online, that you would by your Holy Spirit encourage us to evaluate our marriage is not by our feelings, not by our emotions, but rather by our commitment and our daily recommitment. [00:41:32]
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