Building Meaningful Relationships Through Intentional Spaces

Devotional

Day 1: Choose Your Friends Carefully

The people you allow closest to you have a profound impact on your life, shaping your character, your choices, and even your future. Scripture reminds us that the righteous are intentional about their friendships, understanding that the company they keep can either help them grow or lead them astray. Take a moment to consider who you spend the most time with and how those relationships are influencing you, for better or for worse. [34:35]

Proverbs 12:26 (ESV)
The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Reflection: Who are the three to five people you spend the most time with, and how are they influencing your walk with God today?

Day 2: The Power of Influence

Even those with strong character can be led astray if they consistently surround themselves with the wrong influences, as bad company has the power to corrupt good intentions and habits. The relationships you form are not neutral; they either build you up or pull you down, sometimes undoing years of growth in a short time. Be vigilant about who you allow into your inner circle, recognizing that your future is often determined by the people you choose to walk alongside. [43:17]

1 Corinthians 15:33 (ESV)
Do not be misled: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Reflection: Is there a relationship in your life that is pulling you away from God’s best for you? What step can you take today to set a healthier boundary?

Day 3: The Value of God-Honoring Social Spaces

Placing yourself in God-honoring social spaces—like life groups, serving teams, or church events—creates opportunities to form meaningful friendships that encourage spiritual growth and support. These environments are intentionally designed to help you move from being just another face in the crowd to being known, cared for, and challenged in your faith. Don’t underestimate the impact of consistently showing up in these spaces; over time, they become the fertile ground where true, lasting friendships are formed. [51:49]

Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV)
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Reflection: What is one God-honoring social space you can intentionally step into this week to open yourself up to new friendships?

Day 4: Friendship Progression—From Acquaintance to Intimacy

Healthy relationships often develop through a natural progression: from public spaces with shared interests, to social spaces where names are known, to personal spaces where lives are shared, and finally to intimate spaces marked by deep trust. Skipping these steps can lead to pain and brokenness, but honoring this process allows for authentic connection and growth. Take time to invest in each stage, allowing trust and friendship to develop at a healthy pace. [41:16]

Proverbs 27:17 (ESV)
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Reflection: Where are you in the progression of your closest relationships, and what is one step you can take to deepen trust and authenticity with someone this week?

Day 5: Friendship as a Pathway to Spiritual Growth

True friendship, as modeled in the New Testament, is not just about shared interests or agreement but about loving one another enough to help each other grow closer to God. The church is structured to provide these opportunities, but it requires intentionality and courage to step out of your comfort zone and connect. When you invest in these relationships, you not only find support for life’s challenges but also experience the joy of growing in faith together. [01:02:48]

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (ESV)
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

Reflection: Who in your life helps you grow closer to God, and how can you intentionally encourage and support their spiritual journey this week?

Sermon Summary

In our lives, we move through a variety of relational spaces—sometimes we’re just another face in the crowd, other times we’re among acquaintances, friends, or even those who know us intimately. Recognizing these different spaces is crucial to understanding how we form meaningful relationships. The key to finding the right people—those who will walk with us, encourage us, and help us grow—is to intentionally place ourselves in environments that foster genuine connection and spiritual growth.

Not every space is equally conducive to forming deep friendships. Large public gatherings, like church services or sporting events, unite us around a common interest but rarely lead to close relationships. Social spaces, smaller groups of about 10-30 people, are where names are learned and initial connections are made. It’s in these settings—life groups, serving teams, or ministry events—that we have the best chance to move from being strangers to friends. From there, a few of those friendships may deepen into personal relationships, where we share our lives and struggles. And, if we’re blessed, a handful of those may become intimate friendships, marked by full trust and vulnerability.

Each relational space serves as a “pond” from which the next level of relationship is drawn. The people we meet in public spaces become acquaintances in social spaces; some of those acquaintances become friends, and a few friends become our most trusted confidants. This progression is not just practical wisdom—it’s rooted in biblical counsel. Proverbs reminds us to choose our friends carefully, and 1 Corinthians warns that the company we keep shapes our character.

For our children and students, the same principles apply. Their long-term spiritual growth is deeply influenced by the friends they make, which is why it’s so important to get them consistently involved in age-appropriate ministry environments. For adults, the challenge is to move beyond simply attending large gatherings and to take intentional steps into smaller, God-honoring social spaces—whether that’s a life group, a serving team, or a new initiative like Couples Connect.

Ultimately, the goal is not just to attend events or fill our schedules, but to build relationships with people who will help us grow closer to God. These are the friendships that will sustain us through life’s challenges and help us become the people God has called us to be.

Key Takeaways

1. The spaces we inhabit with others—public, social, personal, and intimate—each serve a unique purpose in our relational journey. Recognizing which spaces are most conducive to forming real friendships allows us to be intentional about where we invest our time and energy. This awareness helps us move beyond surface-level interactions to relationships that truly matter. [29:16]
2. The progression from public to intimate relationships is a natural and necessary process. Each level provides the opportunity to discern who should move closer into our lives, and who should remain at a distance. Skipping steps in this process, especially in areas like dating or deep friendship, often leads to pain and brokenness, while honoring the progression leads to trust and lasting connection. [43:17]
3. The people we surround ourselves with have a profound impact on our character and spiritual growth. Scripture warns that even those with good character can be led astray by the wrong company. Therefore, choosing friends carefully and strategically is not just wise—it’s essential for a life that honors God and flourishes in faith. [34:35]
4. God-honoring social spaces—like life groups, serving teams, and ministry events—are designed to help us move from anonymity to authentic community. These environments are intentionally structured to foster connection, diversity, and spiritual growth, providing the best context for forming friendships that are rooted in Christ. [53:34]
5. Taking the step to engage in these environments requires courage and intentionality. It’s easy to remain on the sidelines, but real growth and support come when we risk vulnerability and invest in others. The friendships formed in these spaces are not just for our benefit—they are God’s provision for encouragement, accountability, and shared purpose in our journey of faith. [62:48]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[01:10] - Membership Class and Financial Transparency
[04:30] - Series Introduction: Find Your People
[07:15] - The Practical Approach: Proverbs vs. Romans
[10:40] - Understanding Relational Spaces
[15:00] - From Face in the Crowd to Close Friend
[19:30] - The Key to Making Friends: Choosing the Right Spaces
[22:45] - Four Quadrants of Relationship
[27:00] - The Importance of Choosing Friends Carefully
[31:44] - How Spaces Progress: From Public to Intimate
[36:41] - Social Spaces: Where Names Are Learned
[41:16] - Intimate Spaces: The Gift of Full Trust
[48:50] - How Friendships Form in Social Spaces
[51:49] - Action Step: Placing Yourself in God-Honoring Social Spaces
[53:34] - Structuring Church for Connection
[59:16] - Three Practical Next Steps for Adults
[62:48] - The Cost of Staying on the Sidelines
[64:00] - Closing Prayer and Worship

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

Proverbs 12:26 (ESV) — > The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

1 Corinthians 15:33 (ESV) — > Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Observation Questions

According to Proverbs 12:26, what is the difference between the way the righteous and the wicked approach friendships?
In 1 Corinthians 15:33, what warning does Paul give about the people we spend time with?
The sermon described four relational spaces: public, social, personal, and intimate. What are some examples of each space given in the message? [31:44]
What is the key to finding your people, according to the sermon? [36:41]

Interpretation Questions

Why does the Bible emphasize choosing friends carefully? What are some possible consequences of ignoring this wisdom? [34:35]
The sermon compared relationships to “ponds” that feed into each other. How does this progression help us build deeper friendships, and why is it important not to skip steps? [43:17]
The message said that even people with good character can be led astray by the wrong company. Why do you think this happens, and how can we guard against it? [34:35]
Why are God-honoring social spaces (like life groups or serving teams) so important for spiritual growth and authentic friendships? [53:34]

Application Questions

Think about your current friendships. Are there any relationships that are helping you grow closer to God? Are there any that might be pulling you away from Him? What steps could you take to be more intentional about your closest relationships? [34:35]
The sermon challenged us to move beyond just attending large gatherings and to step into smaller, intentional environments. What is one specific step you could take this month to get involved in a life group, serving team, or another God-honoring social space? [59:16]
For parents: How can you help your children or students get connected to age-appropriate ministry environments where they can make healthy friendships? What might be holding you back from making this a priority? [53:34]
The message said that skipping the natural progression of relationships (for example, moving too quickly from public to intimate) can lead to pain and brokenness. Have you ever experienced this in your own life? What did you learn from it? [43:17]
The pastor mentioned that it takes courage and intentionality to risk vulnerability and invest in others. What fears or hesitations do you have about stepping into a new group or opening up to others? How can you overcome them? [01:02:48]
The sermon described friendships rooted in Christ as those that help us grow, encourage us, and hold us accountable. Who in your life currently plays this role? If you don’t have someone like this, what could you do to find and build that kind of friendship? [01:02:48]
The message encouraged us not to stay on the sidelines. What is one practical thing you can do this week to move from being “just a face in the crowd” to being known and connected in your church community? [59:16]

Sermon Clips

Who are the friends in your life? Who are the three to five people in your life that you would call friends, that you hang out with? Who do you spend time with? You could be a teenager, you could be an adult. Who are your friends? Now, here's another good follow -up question. How are they influencing you? And is that good or bad? I mean, you've heard it said, if you show me your friends, I'll show you your future. You will become like the people that you spend time with. [00:34:38] (30 seconds) #FriendsShapeYourFuture

I'm defining this as individuals who know your secrets. They know everything about you, and they still like you. Most people don't know everything about you. Who's somebody that knows everything about you, and they still like you? They still love you? They still choose to be around you. They choose to put up with you. That's a gift. [00:41:32] (27 seconds) #LovedDespiteSecrets

The world presents dating as moving from the public space, I'm going to go meet someone, to the intimate space, it's called a one -night stand. And we wonder why people keep having heartache, and why so many people are walking around broken, because they don't understand the natural progression of how healthy relationships work. And if you usurp this process, you'll live with the pain and have a story to tell. But you see, God created it this way, and if we'll cooperate with it this way, we'll actually begin to form those types of friendships, right? [00:51:00] (31 seconds) #RespectTheRelationshipProcess

Everything that we do at New Hope, the event isn't the goal. The event is the opportunity for you to make a friend. Everything we do. Because we know we're a large church. And our goal is that as we keep growing larger, reaching more people with the good news of the gospel, it actually feels like we're getting smaller. And I do believe both can happen. I believe you can grow larger as you reach more people, but I believe you can feel smaller as you're more intentional about giving people these opportunities. [00:53:56] (31 seconds) #EventsAreFriendshipOpportunities

Here's what I'll promise you. Sometimes I think we over -promise as pastors and churches. I'm not promising you you're going to make a best friend for life that you'll buy matching sweatshirts with, which don't do that anyway, all right? But like, I'm not promising you that. Here's what I'm promising you. You will experience a healthy social space that gives you the potential to make some friends with people who God is on their radar. [00:59:22] (25 seconds) #HealthySpacesCreatePotential

You'll make friends with some people who are very different than you. I love that about our church. We have a lot of diversity as a church, and this is a great opportunity for you to make friends with somebody whose background is totally different than yours and yet united by Jesus Christ. [00:59:51] (15 seconds) #DiversityUnitesInChrist

``But listen, don't, don't not do anything. I mean, if you just keep showing up and sitting in here every single Sunday and you don't take a step intentionally to put yourself in an environment around 10, 12, 15, 20 other people, I promise you, you're going to get to a point in your life where that strategy will start to work against you. Life will throw something your way. You'll need somebody's guidance or help. And in a church this size, it will be difficult in real time to now figure out who do I turn to. But if you'll go ahead and take these steps now and you'll begin to just get connected and get to know people, over time, you're gonna have the friends, again, not the friends how most of us think of friends, friends that love the same things we love, do the same things we do, agree with everything we say. That's how the world defines friendship. Friendship from the New Testament are people who love you enough to help you grow closer to God. And those are really the friends that all of us need. [01:02:24] (62 seconds) #IntentionalConnectionMatters

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